41. Sully
Sully
I didn’t go home last night. After I called Cal and filled him in, he agreed to plan a fun night for Murphy and T.J. so I could stay in the city. Then I booked a room at a hotel near the penthouse so I’d be close if my wife needed me.
Needed me ? I blow out a damn breath in frustration. Why in bloody hell would she need me ? She’s right. Time and again, I’ve failed her. Bloody hell, I’m the one who needs her.
She was right. She was right about everything.
Why should my career come first? My wants? My needs? Why is she the one who’s always expected to bend? To compromise?
Is it because of the way my mother would speak about my father? Did her constant derision subconsciously make me think that my dad was right to work? To prioritize his career? The way she demonized it made me glorify it, perhaps. Because my mother was awful to us when we were boys.
I despised her, and the more terrible things she had to say about Terrance Murphy, the more I wanted to be like him.
Now I realize that I don’t want to be either of them. Neither knew how to make a marriage work. Neither believed in compromise .
Though maybe my dad learned the value of it later in life. Maybe that’s why he created this damn trust. He saw I was mucking it all up, so he did this to ensure we didn’t make the same mistake he did. Yet here I am.
Because by picking my firm over my family, I did exactly what he did when he didn’t put up a fight when Mum moved us to England all those years ago.
I need to do more than tell Sloane she’s right. I need to make a change before I go to her. So I drive to Jersey the next morning, determined to get this right.
It’s after ten a.m. by the time I get there. Cal is in the bathroom, getting changed, after having dropped off the boys at school, so I grab the walkie-talkie we keep in the flat and call down to Lo and Brian, asking them to meet us in the bathroom.
“ Sloane’s really does have better lighting,” my brother says from my wife’s little haven. He ducks lower, his eyes on the mirror as he styles his hair.
With a growl, I turn and face the wall. I can’t focus on my brother’s bloody hair right now.
“Sully?” Lo calls when she enters the flat.
“We’re at Sloane’s ,” Cal calls. He turns around and holds open the curtain, beckoning her to join us.
Brian follows close behind, a scowl on his face. “Why are we in here?”
I drag a hand down my face. “I’m moving back to New York.”
“You’re what ?” Lo rears back.
“You heard me. I’m moving back to New York. Sloane thinks I put this firm first. That I constantly pick it over her. That I put my career before hers.”
Lo tilts her head and shrugs like this isn’t the first time she’s heard this. Like she agrees. Brian and Cal both nod, like they see her point too. Like none of this surprises them.
Fuck. Every single one of them saw it? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why was I the last to realize the real problem in my marriage? For months, I’ve been thinking that if I paid attention to my wife, I could fix what I broke. But it’s so much bigger than that.
“I’m done doing that. If that means the firm has to shut its doors, then so be it. We’ll start over. I’m sorry, but?—”
Brian holds up a hand. “Don’t apologize for this. You’ve got a chance to be with the one person who makes you happy. You better fucking take it.”
My heart clatters around wildly in my chest. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I have no idea if I actually have a chance. But I have to try.
“We can start over in New York,” Cal says.
Lo smiles. “Of course we can.”
I blow out a breath. “Really? You’re all on board? I was ready to throw down and force the issue.”
Cal shakes his head. “Nothing matters more than family.”
“Why do all the big conversations happen in the weirdest places?” Lo mutters as she takes in the small glowing stall we’ve crammed into.
Chuckling, Cal pulls her into his side. “I think that was Dad’s whole point. That’s why he set up this trust.To show us what really matters.”
Brian smiles. “I think you’re right. It’s too bad I didn’t write it better. Give us an out if we did the right thing.”
Cal laughs, but I’m nowhere near feeling lighter. I have a hell of a lot more work to do today. I clap Brian on the back. “I’ve made peace with this. I can lose the firm, but I can’t lose Sloane. I just want to fix my family. Be a better husband, a better daddy.”
When my phone trills loudly from my pocket, I scramble for it, hoping it’s Sloane.
When the number for her office flashes on the screen, my whole body lights up.
I’ll tell her I’m coming to see her. And when I get there, I’ll talk to her about the new firm.
Get her input. We’ll be partners. She’ll be happy. I’ll keep my wife. I’ll keep my family.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” I rush out.
“Sully, it’s Julius. You need to get here quickly. It’s Sloane. It’s, uh…it’s bad.”