Chapter 41
41
JAYDEN
I’ve been hiding from Jo all week. I’ve known her for months and seen her at her highest highs and lowest lows. But suddenly, she’s become the scariest person I know. I’d rather face a man with a gun than her.
I can’t get over how she comforted me while I was dreaming in the hotel. I woke up mid-nightmare to find her curled up into me. The absolute, blinding fear I felt when I worried I had done something to hurt her while asleep scares me still. Makes me sweat.
Instead of facing her, I bring her her favorite foods every night after she’s gone to bed. I try to sleep on my own, but I can’t. The noise in my head is too loud. So, every night, I find myself crawling back into her bed. I leave before she wakes and go out to find a job. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself. I’m mostly just avoiding her.
Nevertheless, it’s some of the best sleep I’ve gotten since we had her at the cabin.
Cole knows. I know he knows, but he hasn’t said anything to me about it. When I watched him fuck her against the window, I was equally scared and turned on. And when he called me over, I was afraid he’d call me out on my shit, and she’d see how scared I’ve been.
Scared. Frozen.
I researched what Cole said. I still think I’m weak, but since then, I’ve felt…weird. There are some moments when my head is quiet. Usually, it happens when I’m cuddled up with Jo. But now, I don’t even have to be fucking her to feel it. Just around her.
Today is her birthday. I have her gift, and as I stand in my room with it, my hands sweat again.
This is so dumb. She’s going to think it’s stupid. I put her gift on my bed and sit down so my hands stop shaking.
What the actual fuck. I’ve killed people with less of a reaction than this. I debated for a while on what to wear. Cole said we had a dinner planned. At home, of course. It’s already a risk that I’ll be recognized going out, but I don’t want to put Jo at risk, either. Not while our case is so hot. It’ll be safer when it blows over.
I’m not sure what Cole got Jo. He did say there was a part that I’d have to participate in. He asked if I wanted to know what it was, and I said no. It made me sick to my stomach, but I know if I knew, I’d back out. I almost said no, as it was. Almost. But I’m trying.
I smooth back my hair for the twentieth time.
Stupid. I’m being stupid. It’s just a dinner.
Fuck, I’d rather kill someone.
I snatch the gift from my dresser and march down the hall. Jo and Cole are already there. Jo’s laughing while trying to teach Cole how to make something in the kitchen, and he’s fucking it up, as usual. I never let Cole cook in the cabin for this very reason.
I stare at Jo, suddenly frozen to the spot. She’s in a light blue dress with a cream bow in her hair. She’s so beautiful. So damn beautiful.
Jo throws me a look, and the smile falters on her face. She swallows. “Oh, hey.”
Suddenly, I think the button-down and slacks I wore are ridiculous. I look dumb, and they look so good. I turn on my heel to go change, but Cole says, “Hey, don’t go. Help her with the table while I get her gift.”
“I told you not to get me…” Jo argues, but Cole has already moved to the front door, leaving Jo and I standing awkwardly.
She bites her lip and turns back to the stove, where she’s stirring something.
I’m stuck again.
I hate this. Why the fuck am I frozen? I’m in my own fucking apartment. This shouldn’t be traumatic for me.
“You just gonna stand there like a creep?”
Instantly, my eyes snap to her. Jo continues to stir the pot. She throws a tiny glance over her shoulder, and from the slight twinkle in her eye, I see she’s being a smart-ass.
Immediately, I stalk up behind her and fist my hand in the back of her hair, yanking her head back to look at me. When her baby blues fly up to mine, I smirk. “Wanna keep up that attitude, slut?”
Jo narrows her eyes but doesn’t say anything. I laugh tightly and let her go. Smart girl. Fuck dinner, I’ll throw her on this table right now and punish her until she can’t remember her own damn name.
A timer goes off, and Jo opens the oven. Instantly, a wave of heat rolls over us, and I push Jo back.
She flashes me an annoyed look, but I pay her no mind. I grab the oven mitts off the counter and pull out the casserole dish. Looks like lasagna.
My mouth waters.
“I can do that myself,” Jo protests as I carry it to the table.
I know she can take it out herself, but I enjoy flustering her. I enjoy taking care of her and seeing her get mad about it.
There’s an odd scrambling noise at the door. We both glance up to see Cole peeking through while keeping the door cracked. “Jo! You ready for your present?”
Oh lord. What the fuck did he get her?
Jo glances at me briefly. I shrug. He didn’t tell me what it was.
“I guess?”
Cole opens the door, and something darts across the living room into the kitchen. I stiffen to protect her before I realize what it is.
Jo gasps.
Jesus Christ. I run a hand down my face. It’s a dog.
The golden retriever runs straight to me, jumping all over me, panting and wagging its tail. Then it shoots over to Jo, licking her hand, then sniffing around the room.
“It’s a…you got me a dog?” Jo looks up as Cole moves to her, snatching her in his arms and giving her a huge kiss. “Yep! Jayden said we had to wait till we had a place to live. Now we do. Do you like him?”
“It’s a him?” Jo struggles to get out of Cole’s arms so she can greet the dog again. It licks all over her face as she crouches down and she laughs.
A shock of jealousy runs through me. Of course he got her a dog. She loves it. Cole’s out here being perfect all the time. How in the fuck am I supposed to keep up? I can’t.
I shake my head and go to step away, but the dog breaks away from Jo and runs up to me, jumping up on my legs and smiling up at me. Then, before I can react, it lifts its leg and starts peeing on my shoe.
“Jesus!” I jump back.
The dog jumps around, acting like it didn’t just piss on me.
“He just marked you as his!” Cole starts belly laughing.
I glare at him. “This isn’t funny.”
Jo is trying not to laugh. I shoot her a glare, too. She grabs some paper towels, and I snatch them from her. I take off my shoes and clean up the mess. The dog licks my face while I’m down on the ground.
“Do you like him?” Cole asks again.
Jo’s smiling deeply now. “I’ve always wanted a dog.”
“I know.” Cole beams proudly.
Jo grins and smashes a kiss to Cole’s face.
That’s it. I can’t take it any longer. I grab my gift and try to escape barefoot, but the dog makes it hard.
“Where are you going?” Cole asks. “We just made dinner.”
“I made dinner. You got in the way.” Jo pulls away from him and looks at me. “Is that for me?”
My cheeks burn. I don’t want to give this to her. There’s no way it can compare to a fucking dog.
“Uh, yeah. But it’s nothing. It’s not the real gift.”
Behind Jo’s head, Cole arches an eyebrow.
“Okay…” Jo stands there awkwardly as I continue to hold her gift hostage. Fuck. I don’t want to. I snap out of it and practically throw it at her.
I need to do anything other than watch her, so I start serving the food. As the wrapping paper falls away, there’s silence.
My face burns even more. “It’s stupid. Just something dumb.”
Jo turns the plastic container over in her hand. “It’s…flowers?”
“Like I said, dumb.” I burn myself on a piece of melted cheese and hiss.
“No, these are…” I hear the plastic pop open, and she goes through all the layers. “Oh shit, these are edible?”
I don’t think my face can get any more red. “Uh, yeah.” I spent days researching the edible flowers that chefs use, then a few more finding them. It was hard, considering I don’t speak the language here and had no idea where to start. But I found quite a few and hid them in the fridge, all the way in the back, so they wouldn’t go bad.
Now, I realize how stupid it was. “It’s dumb, whatever.”
“No, it’s not! I love them.”
Still, I don’t look at her.
“Jayden.” A hand touches mine. I jump, looking at Jo, afraid of what I’ll see. Instead of mocking pity, I see appreciation. It’s hidden under hesitancy, but it’s still there.
Something warm blooms in my chest.
I clear my throat to get rid of the odd feeling. “Let’s eat.”
Dinner is good. Delicious, actually. I missed this. Missed Jo’s cooking and listening to her and Cole bicker back and forth. The dog lays on my feet the whole time. I try moving my feet from under him, but he keeps moving, laying his furry self on me, panting quickly.
I’m antsy. I see Cole getting excited, and I know he must have something up his sleeve. Sure enough, he returns with a package.
“Just something for you. From both of us.”
Jo turns a curious look at me. I feel the blood drain from my face.
Jo opens it, and instantly I recognize the shibari ropes. They’re pretty, with multiple ropes in different tones of blue.
I relax. I know this. This is familiar.
Jo laughs. “You gonna tie me up and fuck me silly?”
Cole shrugs, an easy grin on his face. “Sure. But that’s not what I got them for.”
“Oh yeah?”
Cole glances at me. “Sometimes, the master must become the student.”
What is he…oh shit.
Oh shit.
Cole watches me realize what he means, and an evil smile traces across his face. “You’re going to use these on Jayden.”