Chapter 13
Chapter thirteen
Cole
I woke in a blissful haze, but when I reached for her, the mattress was cold.
The blood drains from my knuckles when I grip the counter top with all my might. How could I let this happen? I flew too close to her sun and let us both get burned. She obviously regrets sleeping with me—why else would she leave our bed? Would she be acting so unlike herself?
The power must have returned, as the water boils when I flip the switch.
I fill her mug, perching the saucer and tea bag on top.
Maybe there is still a way to salvage our relationship.
Noelle often needs time to think things through, see the situation from every possible angle.
I should give her some space while she does.
The last thing I want is to come on too strong and scare her off for good.
I offer her a soft smile when I set the mug on the table at her feet, and sit down in one of the chairs next to the couch. This should be enough distance for her to have her space, right?
This all feels wrong, so goddamn wrong. I want to go right up to her and pull her into my arms, prove I’m nothing like her mother’s deadbeat boyfriends. That I am hers, forever. But if I want her future, I should give her grace in the present. Even if it kills me.
I turn on my phone and navigate to the Vultures’s team chat.
I fucked up
Jace
Hardly surprising
Kai
Tell us something new, Martin
Gotta love this support system
Kai
You knew who you were texting
Well, that much is true. I should have seen this coming.
Aiden
Guys, let him talk
Thanks, man
Aiden
He might have reached a whole new height of stupid
Rhys
Impossible. Can’t beat the time he flung himself out of a driving car because he was too drunk to notice we were moving
What about the time I drove through a No’easter to save a girl I can’t confess my feelings for?
In related news, I think I might have scared Noelle off by sleeping with her…
Rhys
I stand corrected.
Jace
What??? HOW???
Mason
There’s so much to unpack here
Kai
Didn’t you confess your feelings last night on that live or was that a nightmare
It was a dare. I did everything you guys suggested, and it went well
But then this morning she got up before me and now she’s being weird. I think I might have gone too far this time
Mason
Why can’t you ever be normal?
Because it’s her.
The ringing of Noelle’s phone pulls me from my thoughts, and my gaze shoots up to where she’s sitting. Her brows furrow when she picks up the phone, and in the span of a minute my best friend deflates into a hollow shell of herself.
I have never seen a more terrifying sight.
“Thank you, for letting me know,” she says, and as her voice breaks so does my heart. The phone slips from her hand to land on the couch.
Fuck giving her space.
I’m at her side in a second, cradling her face in my hands. She has every chance to push me away, but she doesn’t. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“That was my neighbor, Mrs Hawthorn,” Noelle says, and even in the dim morning light it’s hard to miss the tears in her eyes.
“She said she heard a loud crash in my apartment. She thinks something may have fallen onto the roof, and it caved in. Or maybe the hole made the structure instable and the weight of the snow was too much for it to bear, I don’t know. ”
Fucking hell. I had a feeling this was going to happen, like a nagging sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. I’m so fucking glad I got her out of there, no matter how moronic it was to drive through that storm. I would rather have died by her side than have to live knowing I could’ve saved her.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, and immediately hate myself for not having something better to say. I’m a man of action, not words. But right now, there is nothing for me to do.
Noelle avoids my gaze. “It’s gone. It’s all gone. What if it damaged the café? What if I lost everything I worked so hard to build?”
“Then we can rebuild. We will rebuild. It will be a minor setback, not the end of the line.” I glance out the windows, seeing the pause in snow for the first time in two days.
The plan comes at lightning speed, and it’s probably my dumbest one yet.
“I’ll go out, assess the damage. You stay here—please, please stay here.
I don’t want you outside until it’s safe. ”
This catches her attention. Her eyes snap to meet mine, fully clear and burning with fear. “You’re not going anywhere. This is my problem, Cole. Not yours. Letting me stay here is bad enough. You’ve done too much for me already. I can handle this.”
There she goes again, insinuating that she owes me for something when really, I owe her.
Without her here, I would have lost my mind in the silence worrying about her.
She hasn’t allowed me to help her with anything in the past, no matter how much easier it would have made her life.
And I respected that. This is something she can’t stop me from doing.
“Of course you can handle it. You’re Noelle fucking Adams—that was never in question.
But I’m still going out there, because no matter how strong you are, you don’t have to shoulder this alone.
” I brush a stray lock of hair from her face, those sparkling brown eyes staring deep into my soul.
My eyes flit to her lips and I feel that pull again, that magnetic energy that makes it impossible to stay away.
“Let me do this for you, Honey. Let me take care of you.”
A war plays out behind her gaze, her need for independence raging against every one of my words. She swallows, and for a moment I think she might pull away. But then she sighs, and her face softens. “Okay.”
I drag my thumb across her cheekbone. My brave, gorgeous girl. It would be so easy to kiss her, but that wouldn’t be fair. Not right now. If we ever were to kiss again, it has to be fully sober, not even a little hungover, and she has to be the one to initiate.
I take her hand in mine and brush my lips against her knuckles. It’s the closest I’ll allow myself to get to showing my need for intimacy. “I’ll be back soon. I have my phone on if you need me, okay?”
Noelle nods. Her rosy cheeks make her tear-stained eyes even bigger, and take one last look at them, drinking in every bit of honey-coated goodness she has to offer.
No more procrastinating. If I want to get home to her before the snow starts anew, I have to leave right now. I rise and stalk to the front door to put on my shoes and coat. I dig around in my pocket for my keys, making sure I have them—and thus Noelle’s apartment key—before I leave.
Noelle leans against a beam a few feet away from me, her head resting against the wood. Worry pinches her face in the cutest way, like she’s worried I won’t make it back.
“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. Going outside is a stupid, dangerous thing, and we both know it. But I don’t want her to dwell on it.
Noelle’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes when she steps forward, tugging my hat over my ears the way I’d done to her just a few days ago.
It feels like a lifetime since that moment.
Even her fingers, soft and warm as they linger on my jaw, feel different than before.
“Don’t get yourself killed because of me. ”
“I’ll be perfectly safe.” Liar. “See you in a bit.”