37. Connor
CONNOR
This morning is better than the last time Eden slept over.
Because, even though it’s almost nine, she’s still here, asleep in my bed. Looking so content.
I put on my glasses and roll over toward her as slowly as I can. Watching her breathe in and out. Her honey hair spread out on my pillow, shifting slightly as she inhales and exhales.
Waking up next to her is better than the best dream I’ve ever had. And I don’t want it to end.
After we’d rested on the couch for an hour last night post-scene, I’d heated up some real food for us. We ate while watching a movie on a streaming channel.
Her energy revived, we’d ended up getting distracted from the movie. Which evolved into fucking in the living room.
Just her and me. No scene. No nicknames.
No complaint. It’s unbelievable we can do it all.
Still, I’m struggling with how this is going to work until we’re in a better position to tell everyone. Having to keep this situation from Rawley while living here is a complete pain in the ass, because the only other place to spend the night together is her dorm.
That sounds unappealing, but I’ll do it if necessary.
She moves toward me, and her eyes blink open.
“Morning, beauty.”
“Morning.” A cute little smile appears as she pulls the comforter up over the bottom half of her face. “Not beautiful right now.”
“Always.” I sink further down into her and pull her close with my right arm. “I’m glad you got some sleep.”
“Mmmmm…I could sleep more if you snuggle me like that.” Her eyes shut again.
“Don’t tell anyone I snuggle…”
Her giggles are interrupted by a distinctly unwelcome sound—the front door opening. Followed by two loud voices, those of a man and a woman I know well.
Fuck. What the hell are Rawley and Avery doing here?
“Oh no,” Eden moans, sleepiness still audible.
“Don’t worry. Let me figure out what’s going on. Stay here.”
Damn it. I throw on a pair of shorts and head out the bedroom door.
As I walk into the living room to greet them, I steel myself to cover however I need to.
Except, I forget the absolute mess we left last night—empty food plates, a full bag of trash in the takeout bag.
Eden’s flower arrangement is sitting on the kitchen island in a large pitcher of water I used to keep it fresh.
Shit. There’s no way they’re missing the chaos. I need to deflect as much as I can.
“Morning. What are you two up to this early?”
“I didn’t realize my supplies of meds were low at Avie’s house.” Rawley keeps bottles of Adderall at both places. “I was going to restock since we’ll be there for the next few days.”
“Got it.”
Rawley looks at me with disbelief. “You have nothing to say?”
“About?”
“All of this.” He gestures to the mess and the flowers.
Avery starts snickering. “Don’t give him a hard time. He’s allowed to have company.”
“I’m not,” he replies, matching her teasing tone. “I’m just surprised…who is she?”
Adjusting my glasses, I play my typical delay game. “Can we talk about this another time?”
“Yeah, fine.” He starts moving to the kitchen cabinet where he keeps his meds. “I guess if she were important, you’d have already introduced her to us.”
“Rawley!” Avery says quickly. “She could be here still. That was rude.”
“Oh crap.” He puts his hand to his mouth, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I’m sorry. Fucking intrusive thoughts. Hence, needing my meds.”
I try not to get irritated. Maybe, with the door closed, Eden didn’t hear him. She could even be back snoozing.
Not to mention, I wish I could introduce them. I just can’t. I’d rather lie to him than put him in a position to lie for me.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay, well, the place is yours again. Got what I needed.” He raises the bottle.
As they head toward the door, Avery says something to Rawley about a wager they made about his last game. “You’re lucky I don’t check with Johnson whether things were rigged.”
“Never. Regardless, I’m claiming my winnings when we get back to the house,” he says, with a wide grin to her while she rolls her eyes, shutting the front door behind her.
I don’t want to know.
Anyway, my priority is that Eden didn’t hear Rawley’s quip about introducing them. When I swing the bedroom door open, that hope gets dashed pretty quickly. She’s standing in the middle of the room, hurt in her eyes. A jolt of pain smacks into my chest that she’s upset.
“I’m going to get cleaned up in the bathroom.” She disappears into the en suite before I can say anything.
You need to talk to her. Don’t let her misunderstand what’s going on.
Once she emerges, she looks like she’s all business, ready to get out of here.
“Eden, I know you heard him.”
“And you didn’t correct him.” She grabs her dress and slips it up her body. “I thought I could handle this… But how can…any of this, dating in secret, result in anything real?”
She doesn’t make it sound like a question, but I want to give an answer anyway. My answer.
“Eden, can you stay for a minute, please? Can we talk?”
She doesn’t respond, just searches for something, probably her cardigan. I think I see conflicting emotions on her face, though.
“Please. Can you sit down on the bed?”
She puts her arms through the cardigan, but her movements slow down. Finally, the war on her face comes to some kind of resolution. “Fine.”
When she sits, I weigh where to start. She’s upset, but I’ve never seen her not be logical. So I start there.
“I couldn’t correct him. I don’t want Rawley to have the burden of protecting our secret, especially with Grace.”
“Right.” Her face tightens. That wasn’t the best place to start, in retrospect.
I need to fix this. “That doesn’t mean that you’re not important to me. That I don’t know what I want. What I’m hoping you want.”
“Which is?”
I sit down next to her, resting my hand on hers, and lock our eyes. “A real chance at being together. Even if we’re the only ones that know about it for now.”
“I’m just…this is nice but…” She struggles to push the words out, hands squeezing my comforter. “I want more than we can have in secret.”
“Me too. I know I’ve said this in the past, but I’m not in this to be casual either. You, and only you, are what I want.” Shit, maybe it’s too early to be that blunt.
She doesn’t seem to mind, though. “That’s good to hear.” Her eyes clear of doubt, and she gives me a small smile. “I know…I just freaked out when he said that.”
My thumb grazes her soft skin. “You’re important to me, Rosy. Very.”
“Same.” A wisp of a reply.
“One day we’ll tell the world, soon, I hope. In the meantime, we’ll keep figuring out everything together.”
“I want that too. I—what he said…I can’t wait until we don’t have to be secret anymore.”
Knowing I can’t make any promises yet on that front, I lean down to claim her lips. One thing I can give her.
With that conversation behind us, and knowing my brother is gone for a few days, I realize I can claim Eden for another day.
She thankfully agrees. I vow internally to make her forget the whole Rawley incident.
We both have practice, so we split for a few hours, but then she brings her books back to the condo.
This evening doesn’t have flowers and hot tubs in the mix, but it’s almost better.
She sneaks her legs onto my lap as she does her homework, and I rub her feet while studying the parts of the playbook relevant to me.
Domestic bliss. If only we could make this our normal.