Chapter 11
Act II, Scene III: TA Studio, Hackney
Kalina
You don’t trust me, dimples?
12:35
Not really, no
12:35
I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want to do. You can set the pace; I’ll only guide you a little
12:36
Easy for you to say. You do this all the time
12:36
Okay, let’s try it on you, then you can try it on me. Deal?
12:36
Fine…
12:36
This entire conversation sounds a little suggestive don’t you think? Do you want a safe word? ;)
12:36
What? That’s not what this is
12:37
It’s important for any consenting relationship, I believe
12:37
You are insufferable
12:37
And yet…
12:37
You keep coming back for more
12:37
-_-
12:37
Milkshake
12:37
What?
12:37
You would never actually ask for one so it’s strange enough to seem out of the ordinary
12:37
Now I want a milkshake…
12:37
No.
12:37
Titan messaged me a day before the photo-shoot—in case I’d somehow forgotten. He confirmed the time, told me to bring the emerald green lehenga Scarlet had worn to the engagement party, and wouldn’t give me any other information. I left straight from the office and showed up at his studio a minute before the requested time.
My brain glitched for a second when Titan opened the door to his studio dressed in a light blue shirt, dark blue jeans, and bare feet.
All the colours he wore lately—the greens and the blues—were so complimentary and brought out the gold in his hair.
‘Hi,’ he said, tilting his head to the side.
I shook my own to clear it. ‘Hi. Are you going to tell me what you have planned?’
He let me pass and I tried gathering my thoughts. This was actual work. His job.
‘No,’ he said, and took the dress bag from my arms.
‘I’m here now. Would it make a difference if I knew?’ I dropped my laptop bag and handbag at the door before kicking off my shoes.
‘Yes.’ He walked away.
I followed him into the studio which was set up with a black backdrop and a light grey velvet chaise-longue. The studio lights were placed in front of it, but turned off, and the late afternoon light shone through the windows casting shadows over the floor.
‘Okay, let’s get this over with.’
‘Not so fast, dimples. This is a proper photo-shoot.’ Titan smirked at me.
I crossed my arms over my chest. ‘Meaning?’
‘The full package.’
The intensity in his gaze and focused stare made my stomach flip.
He couldn’t possibly mean—
A knock sounded at the door and he gave me a minute to gather myself. I needed to get it together. This was a professional setting and he was being professional. There was no way he’d implied anything with his words.
He returned with a petite woman who had curls like Scarlet, only much darker.
‘Hi, you must be Lina? I’m Tara.’ She offered her hand to me.
I shook it and looked between her and Titan.
‘Tara here is an amazing make-up artist and hairstylist. I wanted to say thank you for doing this, and also didn’t want to put you out for helping me with my work,’ Titan explained before I could protest.
He knew me well.
‘Oh…thank you.’ This was fine. He did this with all his clients.
‘Perfect. Can I set up at the usual spot?’ Tara asked Titan.
He said they’d worked together, but my mind thought of the woman I’d met, Hazel, and the familiarity with her he now shared with Tara. Titan had this connection with everyone he came across. It was difficult to tell what they were to him.
He was like that with me too, and we were friends. But why was I even thinking about that?
‘Yeah, thanks. Do either of you want anything to drink?’
‘Some water please,’ Tara called out. She’d walked over to the corner of the room where a table was set up close to the large windows.
‘Anything for you, dimples?’ Titan flashed his smile at me.
It made my throat constrict. ‘Nope,’ I managed to mutter.
‘Okay.’ He walked away.
Tara called me over. ‘Would you like me to explain the process to you before we start? Or explain as I go along?’
‘Um, whatever you want to do.’
‘I want you to feel comfortable.’ She smiled. Her face exuded warmth and kindness.
‘You can tell me as you go along.’ I’d be too overwhelmed if she rattled all the steps off at once.
‘Great. Let’s get started then.’
She pulled my hair up and out of my face then tested some products on my skin.
‘Have you had your makeup professionally done before?’
I crossed and uncrossed my legs, then set them down and pushed my palms under my thighs. ‘Yes, once or twice. School formal and a wedding.’
‘Okay, so the look Titan wants isn’t too much. It’s all about enhancing your features, which are stunning by the way.’
My cheeks heated. ‘Thank you.’
‘I’ll be setting the base, a little bit of bronzer and highlighter, brown and gold tones for the eyes but a bold lip was his main request.’ She rummaged through her makeup kit and pulled out bottle after bottle and all kinds of brushes.
‘He said you’re a hairstylist as well?’
She chuckled. ‘Oh, don’t worry, we’re doing a little bit of waves and volume. And loose. He said it has to be down.’
She looked at me and I wasn’t sure what my face did, but it wasn’t good based on her reaction.
‘Oh no. I mean, he’s great. He’s thorough with his ideas and his vision. He knows exactly what he wants.’
I knew this about him. He never hesitated.
‘Are you okay?’ Titan asked as he stepped up behind us.
‘Yes.’ I nodded vigorously.
‘Great, I’ll let Tara work and I’m going to test the cameras. Don’t mind me.’
As soon as he walked away, Tara got right into it. She showed me every product as she used it and even gave me little tips and tricks.
‘There we go, all done,’ she said, thirty minutes later.
She lifted a mirror so I could see my reflection and I was speechless. My skin was clear and glowing, my hair fell so perfectly I was afraid to move or touch it, and my lips were a buttery smooth deep-red shade I absolutely adored.
‘I love it. What shade is this lipstick?’
‘Oh, it’s a fan favourite. It’s called, “kiss me fool”.’ She handed it to me. ‘Keep it, I have about three.’
‘No, I couldn’t.’
‘Please,’ she insisted. ‘It looks like it was made for you.’
‘Thank you.’ I looked at the black case in my palm.
‘You’re welcome. You’re such a pleasure to work with; you have amazing features,’ Tara gushed. If I’d known she was part of this deal, then I would have agreed immediately. She was delightful and an amazing confidence boost.
I stood as Titan walked over and he paused mid-step. ‘Wow.’
‘I know, right? She’s stunning. I’m glad you went with the enhancing rather than changing,’ Tara said. ‘Anyway, I’ll be off. It was lovely to meet you, Lina. I know you’re in good hands.’ She grabbed her things and left us in silence once the metal door slammed shut.
It broke Titan from his trance and he stepped closer. Each movement was tentative until he was right in front of me and his gaze roamed my face. ‘You look amazing.’
I was sure the blush Tara had applied went a shade darker. ‘Thank you.’
He cleared his throat. ‘Okay, you can change, over there,’ he said, and gestured to the door beside me. ‘The green lehenga first.’
‘First? Also, great pronunciation of lehenga.’
The corner of his mouth tilted on one end. ‘Dadi taught me well.’
‘And you won’t tell me why you were there. I hate surprises.’ I grabbed the dress bag.
‘You seem more than happy when it’s ice-cream or pizza.’
I smiled just thinking about it. ‘That’s different and you know it.’
‘Let me take the lead, okay?’ He pursed his lips and his eyebrows drew together, softening his features.
My stomach flipped. I needed to get it together. We were going to be in this space—alone—for who knew how long.
My brain decided it was the perfect moment to replay my dream of Titan. Images of his hands on my skin or his lips on mine popped into my mind unprovoked.
‘I’m going to change now.’ My voice was an octave higher than usual, but I gave him no chance to respond as I spun on my heel and rushed to the changing room. I took a moment to lean against the door and exhale.
‘Breathe Lina, you can do this. It’s fine,’ I whispered to myself.
Everything was going to be okay.
Until I remembered the top had a built-in bra and I couldn’t do the laces up the back on my own.
Well…no one could say I never tried. I opened the door and peaked around its edge. Titan looked at the screen on his camera and his eyebrows scrunched in concentration.
‘Would you mind?’ I asked.
He looked up at me and quirked a brow.
‘The back. I can’t do it on my own.’ I had one arm holding up the front, and I spun around so he could see the undone laces behind me.
‘Oh. Yeah.’ He strode effortlessly across the room. His knuckles brushed my spine and his fingers tugged on the strings.
My breath hitched and I wanted to lean into him. To feel his hands on me and have his body pushed up against mine.
‘Is everything okay?’ he asked.
The top was secure, and I dropped my arms to my sides. ‘Yes. Fine.’
‘Hey, you’ve always been great in front of the camera. Every single photo I have of you is like an editorial.’
I turned. ‘It doesn’t make me any less nervous…but, thank you.’
I couldn’t admit to him it was more than the photoshoot. It was his proximity to me, how good he smelled, and the way his gaze caught mine. A fire rolled around inside my abdomen.
‘I promise you’ll have a good time.’
‘Can you show me as you take them?’
‘No. I don’t want you to get inside your head about it and I want you to enjoy it. Besides, some of it will be on film and you’re going to help me develop it when it’s ready.’
I sighed. ‘You’re always giving me homework.’
‘I like to think I keep you on your toes.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Sure.’
‘One last thing,’ he said, and held up a finger. He walked toward his desk and returned with a gold necklace in hand.
‘Is that?’ I asked and stepped closer. I recognised the patterns in the gold metal and the deep red rubies. ‘How did you…?’ I stammered.
‘I told you Aditi adores me.’
‘It’s so beautiful,’ I said and reached out to touch it.
The intricate details looked like flowers in bloom.
‘She was so excited for you to wear this.’ He came to stand behind me and gathered my hair over one shoulder. His fingers grazed my neck and collarbone as he lowered the necklace onto my skin.
I swallowed hard to push away the feeling growing low in my belly.
‘This was her wedding jewellery,’ I said, and tears pricked my eyes.
It was beautiful and special, and even though her marriage wasn’t the love match she’d hoped for, my grandmother was so proud of the family she’d created and raised.
When I turned, his gaze roamed down from my head to the hem of my skirt. ‘Absolutely perfect.’
‘You say that to everyone, I’m sure.’
He scoffed. ‘You’re never going to believe a word I say, are you?’
‘No.’ I shook my head.
‘Okay, then I’ll have to show you.’ His expression was filled with silent challenge.
‘Tell me what you want me to do?’ I whispered.
He opened his mouth to say something, seemed to think better of it, then closed it.
I licked my lips, tasting the lipstick.
His gaze lingered there for a moment, then he shook his head as if he were answering a question. ‘Come with me.’
I followed him to the chaise.
‘Would you mind sitting down?’
I sat and leaned against the backrest. ‘Like this?’
‘Lift your legs onto the seat in front of you.’
I did as he asked.
He leaned back and lifted his camera to snap a few shots. He looked down at the screen, then walked over and crouched down beside me. ‘Could you straighten your right leg and bend your left?’
I moved my legs into a staggered position. ‘Like this?’
He lifted his hand and hovered over my knee. ‘May I?’
‘Yes,’ I said on an exhale.
His hand was firm as he curled it around my knee and pulled upward. ‘Better angle.’
My body reacted to every touch and look.
He was none the wiser as he walked back to his spot and clicked away.
‘Let me try some with the film camera. It’s going to be a bit of a trial-and-error situation.’
‘Here to help,’ I piped up.
‘You’re been an amazing subject so far.’ He turned off the lights and the sun cast a gold glow across the room.
I turned to face the window to catch a glimpse of the sunset.
‘Don’t move.’
The shutter went off, but I tried to remain as still as possible.
‘There’s one more thing I want to try.’ He walked toward me then wrapped his hand around both of my wrists. He lifted them in one svelte swoop until they hit the backrest behind my head and his throat worked.
I wanted his hands wrapped around more of me.
‘Hold onto the backrest if it’s uncomfortable.’ His face hovered above mine and our chests nearly touched.
I wanted to lean forward. To press my lips against his.
He let go and walked back to his spot before the thought had crossed my mind.
Why was I acting like a cat in heat?
The camera clicked. ‘Kalina, you can smile.’
I’d forgotten how. ‘Sorry.’
‘Let’s do the next look. You seem like you want to jump out of your skin.’
He had no idea.
He strolled over to his desk and pulled a dress bag off the back of his chair. When he handed it to me, I was surprised by the weight of it.
‘Sorry, let me.’ He took it from my arm and carried it to the changing room. ‘Do you need help with your top?’
‘No, I think I’ve got it,’ I replied and hurried into the room before he saw my entire body going red at the thought of him undressing me. Even though I struggled to undo the knot and get it over my head it was better than him being around me while my body was acting this way.
Maybe I was coming down with something.
I unzipped the bag and gasped so loudly I was sure he’d heard.
Inside was a gold-coloured soft tulle dress. It had intricate glass beads all over, and when I pulled it from the bag I realised it was completely sheer.
‘Everything okay?’ he called from the other side.
‘Yeah!’ Panic raced through me.
I rummaged through the bag, looking for other items that accompanied it, and found a smaller piece of golden fabric. It was a strappy—very skimpy—bodysuit.
Great.
When I put it on, I was surprised at the comfort and how soft the tulle was. There were no mirrors to check my appearance, so I did up the row of golden pearl buttons at my waist and tugged on the deep vee of the neckline. It resembled more of a dressing gown than it did a dress.
I inhaled before opening the door. ‘Titan, I’m not sure about this one.’
When I looked up, his gaze was frozen on me. ‘Wow.’
‘You don’t think it’s a little…’ I pulled at the opening at my legs, but it swished aside as I strode toward him.
‘It’s exactly what I’d imagined.’ His gaze dipped down the front of the dress then back up to my face.
I hoped the now dimmed studio didn’t give way to the look on my face ‘Really?’
‘Yes.’ He chewed on his lower lip.
It made me want to do the same.
No. We were not going to think about his lips.
‘It fits like a dream.’ I lifted the skirt then dropped it, letting it pool around me.
‘Well, it’s yours. Aditi altered it for you.’
I whipped my head up.
He was so close I breathed in that clean scent of his. Like the air before it rained.
‘Thank you,’ I whispered. ‘You didn’t have to.’
‘I wanted to.’
‘It’s too much.’ I shook my head.
He took a step closer. ‘Are you okay? Do you still want to do this?’
I nodded.
He smirked. ‘Enthusiastic consent, dimples.’
‘Yes,’ I breathed.
‘Good. Lie down.’
I shook my head. ‘What?’
He laughed. ‘On the floor. It’s clean, I promise.’ He led me closer to the backdrop. ‘I have a shot in mind but it requires some interesting positions.’
He was not helping the cause.
I took his offered hand and sat.
‘Could you put your arms over your head?’ There was a twinkle in his eye.
I laid down and circled them above me. ‘Like this?’
‘Perfect, yes.’ He leaned over me, camera in hand, and snapped away.
I tried focusing on the camera and not on his body towering over me. Or the way his muscles flexed in his forearms every time he moved.
‘Could you put your hand under your chin?’ He squatted beside me. ‘Turn to me.’
‘Like this?’
‘Perfect.’ He took a few shots.
‘We can take the necklace off.’
‘Sure.’ He helped me to a seated position and reached behind my neck to untie it.
His fingers brushed my skin and hair and sent shivers down my spine.
He set the necklace on his desk and returned with an antique pair of gold Jhumka earrings.
‘These were one of my favourite pieces of Dadi’s.’ I put them in my ears and secured the backing. ‘She would wear them for special occasions, and I’d sit on her bed while she got ready.’
‘They complement the dress.’
‘You schemed too close to the sun.’
He laughed. ‘Can I try something?’
‘You wanted to take the lead.’
He offered his hand and pulled me up. I shifted unsteadily and knocked into his chest.
‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ he said.
He walked me over to the window where the city lights twinkled below.
‘This dress looks amazing in this light,’ he said. He tipped his chin towards the earrings. ‘She chose to add those by the way.’
I’d been toying with them as they dangled against my neck. ‘She has great taste.’
‘You make them look lovely.’
‘I think it’s the other way around.’
‘Take the compliment, Kalina,’ he challenged.
‘Okay. So demanding.’
‘Because you never believe me.’
I scoffed. ‘What do you mean?’
He snapped a photo. ‘You didn’t believe me when I said I couldn’t understand why you weren’t dating anyone. You didn’t believe me when I said you were perfect for this photo-shoot, and…’ He paused and took a photo. ‘You likely won’t believe it even if I show this to you.’
He walked toward me and turned the camera.
The photo seemed natural and it was beautiful. The lighting hit the right spots and it was as though I was looking at the images posted on his website, of professional models and blushing brides. Only now, it was me.
‘Oh.’
‘Oh is right. That’s a wrap.’
‘We’re done?’ I was a little disappointed.
‘Yes. See? It wasn’t so bad.’
‘Wait,’ I exclaimed and walked over to take the camera from his hand. I lifted it to face him.
‘Seriously?’ he asked and crossed his arms over his chest.
‘Yes, seriously. You never get to be in front of the camera.’
‘For good reason.’
‘Oh stop. You’re handsome.’
He smirked at me. ‘Tell me more…’
‘No. Stand over there please.’ I pointed to the middle of the floor.
‘You’re hot when you’re bossy.’
My stomach did the flippy thing again, but I tried acting casual about it.
‘Now cross your arms over your chest.’
I took a few shots and looked down at the screen. ‘Ooh, I think I’ve found my calling.’
‘Okay, I'm done.’
‘No, you look good. Come and see,’ I protested as he tried to walk away.
He stood in front of me and leaned over to look at the screen as I flicked through the photos.
‘Not bad, dimples. The student’s become the master.’
He lifted his hand to cover mine as he clicked through the photos.
The combination of his hand, his scent, and the way my body heated made me lightheaded.
Before I knew it, the words tumbled out of my mouth. ‘Since I’ve mastered photography, maybe you could teach me something else.’
His gaze shot up. ‘What are you—’
‘Teach me how you do it,’ I whispered.
His eyes darkened. ‘Do what?’
‘I want to know all of your tricks. I want to know why women throw themselves at you. I want to know what it is that makes me want to do the same thing right now.’ I swallowed the lump in my throat.
‘Kalina…’ He hesitated.
My blood ran cold.
He shook his head. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’
Had I misread things so terribly? The touches and the compliments clouded my judgement. Even more than usual.
I nearly dropped the camera, but his quick reflexes held on as I took a step back. ‘Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I thought…you know what? Never mind.’
‘Kalina—’ I didn’t have to look up at him to hear the plea in his voice.
I shook my head. ‘Please don’t say anything.’
‘Kalina, please…’
I needed to get out of there.
I picked up the skirt of my dress, hurried to the door, and grabbed my shoes and handbag before I bolted for the stairs. Five levels would be quicker than the lifts at this rate.
I was out of breath after running down the staircase. I didn’t look back as I reached the lobby and pushed the doors until they slammed open. I called a taxi, and hoped to put some distance between myself and this embarrassing incident.
I leaned my head against the backrest once I was safely inside and shut my eyes, counting the minutes until I was home.
With any luck, I could disappear from the face of the earth and not talk to Titan ever again.
Wishful thinking.