47. Faith
CHAPTER 47
Faith
I sat on a low couch in the Student Center, trying to finish my lecture notes. Dante’s words from the night before made it impossible to concentrate. My phone buzzed, a welcome distraction, and I looked at the screen as I answered.
“Hi, Steph. What’s up?”
“You’re moving up the list, Faith. Carnal Knowledge just hit the top twenty.”
I’d wished for success, but now that it was knocking down my door, I wasn’t sure I wanted it anymore. “That’s awesome. Thanks for letting me know.”
“When do you think you’ll have that new manuscript done? We want to follow this up with something epic.”
I slid my laptop out of my bag and flipped the screen open. Another page of my manuscript sat on top of my keyboard. How the hell? As my eyes skimmed the print, I relived my interaction at Dante’s apartment, all of it captured on the page in front of me.
The contents of my stomach revolted, and I ran to the nearest restroom.
“Are you there? Faith?” Steph’s voice sailed through the phone.
I barely reached the bathroom before my nerves emptied my stomach. I’d have to call Steph back.
My cheeks cooled with the help of cold water from the tap. I rinsed my mouth and wiped it off with a scratchy paper towel. What was I going to do?
As I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Jess at one of the tall tables by the coffee bar. I swung by the couch where I’d left my things, then made my way over. I could use a friendly face right now.
Jess looked up from her book as I approached. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Not good. I just got some really bad news.”
“You look like shit. Want to talk about it?” Jess patted the stool next to her.
“Not yet. I need to figure out what I want to do about it first.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, thanks though. How are you?”
Jess rolled her eyes. “Same old, same old. Jake and I are off again. He needs space.”
“When are you going to cut those ties for good?” I leaned against the stool, wishing my life was a lot simpler.
“Wait. Is that you, giving me relationship advice?”
“Good point.”
Jess leaned forward. “Speaking of relationships, how are you and Dante?”
I shrugged, hoping she’d drop it. “It’s complicated.”
“Sounds serious to me.”
“I’ve told you. There’s no relationship.”
“That’s what you keep saying?—”
“I keep saying it because it’s true!” My head started to pound, and I stood. “I’ve got to get to class.”
“We’re still on for tonight, right?” Jess asked.
“Tonight?” I racked my brain, trying to remember what Jess might have talked me into this time.
“Yeah, the poetry slam.”
I sighed. “I really shouldn’t.”
“No!” Jess slapped her palm down on the table, and a couple of people around us looked over. “You promised. You canceled on me last time.”
I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Pick you up at eight.”
“That’s better. See you tonight.” Jess settled back down on her stool and took a sip of her coffee.
I gave a wave and made my way out of the building. Things were happening so fast. If someone wanted to flush me out, I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. I needed a plan. If I could just figure out who’d been leaving the pages, I might get an idea of how to handle it.
Mr. Darcy meowed as he wound his way between my legs. I opened the pantry and scooped some food into his bowl, wishing for the thousandth time I hadn’t promised Jess I’d go to the poetry slam tonight.
“Here you go, baby.” I bent to rub him behind the ears, just how he liked it, eliciting a wave of purrs. Grabbing my coat and purse off the counter, I made my way through the door and out into the cold, dark night.
A few minutes later, I turned into the parking lot of Jess’s complex. Jess lucked out and scored one of the brand-new townhouses on the edge of campus. The downside was she had to share the two-bedroom unit with another gal.
Still, her place was much nicer than mine and twice the size. I didn’t mind my cozy studio, though. I needed the privacy and wasn’t ready to give up Mr. Darcy since pets weren’t allowed at her complex.
Jess bounded out the front door and over to the car. She wrenched the door open and hopped inside. “I didn’t think you’d show. Ready for tonight?” She rubbed her hands together and blew into them.
“I suppose.” I put the car in reverse and eased out of the lot. The Roastery wasn’t far, just a few blocks over. I found a spot on the street and left the warmth of the car for the cold sidewalk.
“Come on, this will be fun,” Jess said, already a few steps ahead of me.
I followed her into the dim interior, and the smell of high-quality coffee washed over me. Burlap coffee bean bags stenciled with poetry verses hung on the walls. Yellow lights from a raised dais against the light brick wall created a golden sheen that lit up the edge of the crowd. Jess recognized someone and wound through the tables to the far side of the room. I trailed behind.
“Hey, guys,” Jess said, reaching a group of tables. Several small round tables had been pushed together and people clustered around them. As I stepped up behind Jess, a few people shifted over, making room for us to sit down at the edge of the group.
I scanned the faces, recognizing most of them as colleagues. Great...Murph. He caught my eye from the other side of the table and raised his mug toward me in recognition.
I ignored him as I sat down to study the coffee bar menu. Caffeine. Yes, caffeine would help.
The server came around and took orders. I put mine in for an extra-large chai latte and sat back to wait for the show to start. Jess started up a conversation with a guy on her right. I recognized him from the fiction writing seminar I’d taken a couple of years ago. He had an interest in sci-fi, if I recalled correctly.
“I was hoping you’d be here tonight,” Murph said. With no one on my left, it didn’t take long for him to pull up a chair.
Great, just great. “Yeah, I needed a break, and Jess really wanted to come.”
“Did you bring anything?” he asked.
“What?”
“To slam? It’s a poetry slam, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. No, I don’t have anything.” If I didn’t engage, maybe he’d return to his seat. I scanned the crowd. How many of these people had a poem prepared? My last attempt had taken me a week, and I’d only come up with a few measly lines.
Murph’s mouth spread into a wicked smile. “I have a little something I’ve been working on.”
A voice rang out over the speaker system. “Hi, everyone. Welcome to The Roastery and our much-anticipated poetry slam.” Our server had stepped onto the small stage and spoke into a hand-held microphone. Hoots, hollers, and applause broke out.
Murph got up from the table and moved back to his original seat as the woman on the stage continued to speak.
“It’s an open mic format. Just make sure you state your name when you come up on stage. We need three judges. Anyone want to volunteer?” She put her hand up to shade her eyes from the lights and looked out over the crowd.
Jess grabbed my hand and pushed it up in the air.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked, trying to tug my arm down.
“Great! That’s one. How about two more?” the woman on the stage asked. Two more hands went up, and the server motioned for them to come over to the stage. “If my judges will head over to the table in front of the stage, we’ll get started.”
“Thanks a lot.” I pushed back from my chair and grabbed my mug. “I’ve never even been to one of these things before. What do I know about judging?”
Jess shrugged her shoulders. “You looked like you needed a little extra fun tonight, plus I didn’t want you to cut out early. I’m sure you’ll do great.”
I joined the other two judges at the table in front and sat down. The server explained that after each performance, we needed to hold up a sign with a score. Each performer could rate from zero to ten, with ten being the highest. Sounded simple enough. I settled in, ready for the first victim.
A short, wiry guy sporting multiple facial piercings and lots of ink took the stage. He launched into a dramatic telling of losing his virginity, complete with body motions for all the actions. He finished, and the crowd broke into enthusiastic applause.
My initial reaction was to give the guy a three, but I didn’t want to be too harsh. When I bent down to write my score on the paper, I sneaked a look at the judge to my left. Hmm, he gave ink guy a six.
I jotted down a seven, and in unison, we raised our sheets to show the crowd. Ink guy hopped up and down on the stage, apparently psyched to score a whopping twenty points. That wasn’t too bad. Judging should be relatively easy.
Three more slammers followed, each giving a more dramatic performance than the last. I continued sneaking looks to my left and right, trying to keep my scores in line with the other judges.
As I readied myself for the next performance, Murph took the stage. He stated his name and bent his head down low, the yellow lights making his hair look more orangey than usual.
You...
You with your good girl looks, you haunt me
You with your good girl smarts, you taunt me
What would they say, what would they do
If they knew, if they only knew
You’re a tease, just to please
Make me hot, that’s your shot
Can’t eat, without a chance
Dish it out, just a glance
Murph looked right at me and continued...
It’s a front, a fa?ade
Not a lady, just a broad
Taking us all for a ride
Tearing me up inside
What to do, what to do
Tell the truth, but to who
Would it hurt, being true?
Screw it, fuck you!
I gasped. He knows. It’s him and he knows. A coldness gripped my heart, sending ice water surging through my veins.
Murph took an exaggerated bow and leered at me, his white teeth glowing in the incandescent light. I fought off a sob. Wouldn’t do me any good to break down in front of an audience. All I wanted was to get out of there.
I pushed back from the table and staggered to my feet. Murph strutted around the stage like a freaking rooster. I stumbled through the tables, reaching for my coat and purse on the way out.
Jess grabbed my arm. “Hey, Faith, wait! What’s going on?”
“I’ve got to get out of here.” The walls pressed in on me, and my lungs struggled to take in a breath. I yanked my arm away from Jess and rushed toward the door. Dante… I needed to get to Dante before he found out about this from Murph. He had to hear it from me. It was time to come clean.
I crashed through the door into the cold winter night, with Jess still calling my name.