Chapter 64
EMMELINE
I stared into the swiftly darkening sky, watching Irses circle above us. Rain pulled me closer, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, and I dared to consider relaxing for just a night. With the warm front coming in from Seyma’s Gulf, pushing the cold of winter away once and for all, the temperate day had been like a balm to the soul.
Lasu and the rest of the King’s Guards were handling the Supreme, so Rain and I were able to travel ahead by ourselves. For just a few hours, I had been able to pretend we were traveling to Nara’s Cove to visit Dewalt—not to petition a god for favor.
The Supreme had gotten further in understanding how to do just that—something he’d been studying for centuries, waiting for the Beloved’s blood. And, though he could have lied, we had no choice but to take his word. Because if Nereza was on her way to Nara’s Cove, eager to search for the place where Ciarden had chosen to vacate his mortal body before returning to the eternal lands, we had to stop her. And it only benefited us that Aonara had supposedly picked the same place.
We could potentially thwart Nereza and ask Aonara for her favor in one fell swoop. We had to try.
Since Nereza hadn’t even left her encampment near the Aesiron yet, as far as Lasu had heard reports of, we had plenty of time to beat her there. So, when we encountered a large field just east of the coast, clover stretching as far as the eye could see, I thought Rain and I deserved a single night’s rest before facing a goddess.
It was still warm, so we’d yet to light a fire, and we didn’t bother to lay out cloaks as we laid down upon the softly fragrant clover. Fresh and crisp, I breathed deep.
“Are you afraid?” I asked, feeling a pulse of something down the bond I couldn’t quite place.
“I’m not afraid of the goddess,” he answered.
“And yet you fear something else.”
“No matter what she says, no matter how this war will end, I worry over what I might lose. You have given me everything, Em. I fear it being taken away. The gods might not?—”
“Fuck the gods,” I said. “We pray and we beg, and they do nothing. They might listen, but they stopped caring long ago.”
“You’ll tempt them with such words,” Rain admonished, placing his hand over mine where it rested on his chest. “Instead of favor, Aonara could?—”
“Let me worry about Aonara. I might ask for her favor, but she is not untouched by my scorn.”
Rain chuckled, dragging his fingertip down my spine. “Who knew being blessed by the gods would make you so bold.”
“Boldness is all I have left after their blessing turned out to be a burden,” I said, surely souring our peaceful moment. I was angry, and I was scared, and I struggled to pull myself out of the swirling pit of despondence.
Sometimes, I wished I didn’t feel so bold; it would have been so much easier to give up.
“I’m here to shoulder it with you, dear heart,” Rain said softly, his presence somehow managing to break through my dreariness despite everything. Adjusting where I rested against him, he forced me to join his stargazing. “You can’t see Teleria this clearly anywhere else.”
I did my best to calm my racing mind as I watched his fingertip point toward each star in the constellation. If only I could allow his calming warmth to soothe what I could not.
“And you remember which constellation starts there, correct?” he asked, pointing toward the end of Teleria’s bow. The huntress’s collection of stars branched off to another constellation, but I couldn’t recall the name of it for the life of me.
“Give me a hint?” I asked, and Rain chuckled and sat up on his elbow to loom over me.
“I think I can do that, dear heart,” he said, but his thick fingertips walked a path over my collarbone, down to the drawstring of my chemise.
I’d have preferred more practical clothing for this journey, but everything I’d worn to the Seat had been stained in my blood. Veda had a friend who’d been kind enough to gift me with a simple cotton slip, black front-lacing woolen stays, and a beautiful blue petticoat with matching skirt. I’d wanted to refuse them, knowing how expensive the dye must have been to create such a color, but I couldn’t remain in those bloody clothes.
We’d been so close to raising Iemis, and I’d burned the evidence to forget it.
“I don’t know of any stories involving untying a lady’s chemise,” I said. “A royal lady, at that.”
Rain dipped, pressing his soft mouth to the top of my breast as he exposed more of my skin to the cool, night air. Moist and hot, his breath warmed me everywhere. “Ah, but a queen?” he murmured against my chest. I hummed at the intimacy.
To have him so close, so comfortable, so calming—I was certain I’d had a dream just like this. Rain and I, stargazing well into the night. Had my dream come true? Fleetingly, I wondered if maybe I’d been a Seer too, like my mother and my sister. Perhaps my visions of the future only came to me within dreams.
“So, it is a tale involving a queen?” I asked, unable to hold still as he peppered tender kisses across the top of one breast and then the other.
“You tell me, dear heart. What does the constellation look like?”
Lessons in ancient history—kings and queens and gods of old—were always my least favorite. The only reason I remembered any of them was because Rain had taught me how the stars told their stories. Teleria had hunted down the boar who’d gored her lover, before poisoning its meat and serving it to her husband, explaining the origins of the first queen of Nythyr. And all the queens who came after her could look up at the night sky and see Teleria’s weapon, remembering they would bow to no man.
But the constellation which started from the top point of her bow evaded me. As Rain tugged at my stays, I struggled to focus. Staring up at the stars, I looked for a familiar shape, but I couldn’t quite place it. Long lines of stars with a protrusion at the top, I thought perhaps it was a tree.
“I hope it’s not a story about Iemis,” I said, frowning. Instantly drawn back into thoughts of the antler god and what we’d almost unleashed upon the world spoiled my improving mood. Rain finally loosened the ribbon pulling my stays tight. I took a deep breath in, pleased to not be so constricted, and he grew greedy. Without the stays in his way, he tugged at my clothing, rough enough I feared he would rip it, and exposed one of my breasts. I wondered if he was so enthusiastic because he felt my irritation over the entombed god.
He shook his head, answering my question, before gently taking my nipple between his teeth. I couldn’t contain my whimper as he nipped at my tender flesh. He began licking and laving my exposed skin, and his gaze caught mine. Though I couldn’t make out their emerald green color in the moonlight, nor see the flecks of gold I’d remembered in my dreams, I knew just how beautiful they were. And I was lucky enough to find myself a recipient of such an adoring look from such a good man.
When he pulled the thin garment down my shoulders, and opened it as far as he could at the neck, I pressed my head back into the clover. Closing my eyes, I willed myself to forget all the bad—just for a moment. I didn’t want to think about Iemis and the Supreme and Nereza’s impending favor from the gods. All I wanted to think about was Rain and his reverent touch.
He slipped his hand beneath me, tugging at the button on my skirt and the ties of my petticoat.
“Gods, why are there so many layers?” he mumbled, and a laugh bubbled out of me as I lifted my hips.
“Never wear this many layers again,” he said, and I aided him in his task. “I demand it as king. A royal decree. No queen of Vesta shall ever make herself so inconvenient to disrobe.”
“Do you plan on having another queen?” I asked, teasing, as he pulled my skirt off.
“Perhaps—if you don’t tell me what that constellation is, Highclere.”
Taunting me, he made quick work of my petticoat. My chemise was all that was left, and he lifted the hem higher and higher, revealing more and more bare skin.
“That’s not my name, Vestana ,” I retorted, staring up at the night sky. His fingertips ran up the length of my leg, pebbling my skin. Though the cool night air felt nice after such a warm day, the anticipation of what his touch might lead to sent a shudder through me.
Rubbing his hand up my thigh, he squeezed, his fingers dimpling my flesh. Bending down, lips hovering over mine, he allowed his mouth to brush against me—so soft and far too briefly. “Perhaps I should cut this from your body for your impudence,” he teased, fingertips playing with the drawstring, and as I brushed my lips against his once more, the answer dawned on me.
“Ivan’s ax,” I said, and Rain smiled against my mouth.
“And he used it to?” he prompted, kissing me softly. Insatiable, I savored him. If he could provide comfort to my soul, tender from so much heartache, I should take it.
“Was it the Folterran queen?” I asked, sighing as he slowly moved down my body to kiss at my neck and my chest—lower, as he slid my chemise down my arms. Grasping the fabric, he tugged it down my body. I shifted to accommodate his motions as I struggled to remember the exact details of the tale.
“Not Folterra, but Skos—a hovvikei ,” he said, before pressing his lips between my breasts and down my stomach and around my navel. I could lose myself in his attention. Perhaps he was only distracting me from the quickly approaching future. Perhaps he knew how tormented I’d been—each decision I’d made felt like the wrong one. I’d harmed so many innocent people because of my choices or my inaction, and their blood would forever stain my hands. Between the uncertainty and guilt, I was being eaten alive.
“What’s that?” I asked as he moved farther down my body. I didn’t care if there was an ulterior motive behind his adoring touch. Because his motivation for whatever he did was always the same.
His love for me was unending, and he’d proven that time and time again. He’d done whatever he could to protect me. He might have claimed it was to save the Three Kingdoms or that my safekeeping ensured the greater good. But what I knew in my heart, what I’d always known in my heart, was that Rainier had spent most of his life loving me far more deeply than I ever thought I could deserve.
And perhaps he’d begun to convince me I was worth it.
“His queen—a hovvikei —made as such from a vote by the people,” he said. “Forced to marry her, he...” Rain trailed off, hovering over far more sensitive skin. Grinning up at me, he waited for me to finish the tale.
“He cut her dress open with his ax to disgrace her in front of their clan,” I said, gently reaching down and pushing my fingers through his curls. Throbbing, my clit ached for his touch, but I stilled the urge to push my hips toward him.
“And?” Rain asked, pressing a soft kiss to the juncture of my thigh.
“And she walked—naked and proud—to their longhouse,” I whispered, as his lips moved to the other leg. And I knew then what he would ask of me.
“What next, dear heart?” he asked, pressing a delicate kiss right above my clit.
“She made him beg,” I said, and then he kissed me in the same spot once more—feather light—and didn’t move. I didn’t hesitate to give him what he wanted. “Please, Rain.”
His warm breath heated my skin, and he allowed his lips to tickle me as he spoke. It was pure torment. “You seemed to have forgotten so much of what I taught you. If you want me to bring you pleasure, you have to work for it.”
“What do you want me to do?” I breathed, eager to do whatever he asked.
“I am a generous husband,” he said, pressing a swift kiss to my clit. I whined, thrusting my hips toward him, wishing I could control myself. “Name the constellations you can see, and I’ll make you come on my face.”
“Teleria,” I shouted, and he laughed before tugging my clit into his mouth. Moaning, I arched my back and spread my legs for him. He settled comfortably between them, hooking an arm around my thigh and using his fingertips to spread me and give him better access. His other hand slid up my thigh, and grabbed my hip—squeezing.
I writhed beneath him as he applied pressure to my clit, pulling it between his lips. It verged just on this side of pain, the sensation spreading throughout my body. I was already close, certain I was wet enough he’d find no resistance if he slid into me.
When he stopped, I’d already forgotten the task he’d set.
“Ivan’s ax,” I muttered, remembering, and within a breath, my eyes rolled back in my head as he began his motions once more. Sliding a fingertip through my wetness, he teased my entrance before tracing his tongue up my center. Thorough, he pressed his tongue deep before moving upward and swirling over my clit.
“You taste so fucking good, Em,” he said, voice a deep rasp against me. “You better give me another constellation so I can keep tongue-fucking you.”
“Perhaps you’ll be the one to beg, then,” I mumbled, words failing me as he continued tasting and savoring me. I wasn’t sure he could stop if he wanted to. Rain was ravenous, licking and nipping and rubbing. The fingertips he’d used to spread me open farther started moving, rubbing either side of my clit as he paid meticulous detail to every sensitive part of me.
“You’ll let me use this sweet cunt however I want, won’t you, dear heart? I won’t have to beg to part you and taste you and open you up with my cock, will I?” he asked, continuing to do exactly as he pleased, but I wanted more.
“Erepidia,” I named another constellation, struggling to breathe as he slid two fingers inside me. My hips met his slow thrusts, and a moan fell from my lips. “Please, Rain. Put your cock in me,” I begged. “I need it. I need you.”
At that moment, our game ended. It had served its purpose. It had pulled me out of my inner thoughts, and brought me here—with him—on the verge of shattering around his fingers. With haste, Rain moved beside me. Laying on his side, he pulled my thigh up over his hip and slid an arm beneath me, pulling me closer.
And then his trousers were pulled down, just enough to free his cock and his ass, and he swiped the head of his cock through my wetness. Within a breath, he pressed into my core. I groaned as he hooked his arm beneath my leg, grabbing my ass as he thrust into me. With this angle, he wasn’t hitting deep, but each push of his cock rubbed against my clit. I was already at the brink of crashing over him, and with such friction on the most sensitive part of me, I was certain to tip over the edge in no time.
I unbuttoned his shirt, shoving it from his shoulders as he thrust into me. Slow, shallow movements made me gasp and moan and whimper—it was unlike anything I’d ever felt.
“Divine fucking hell,” Rain said, his brows tipping up in the center as his mouth hung open. I reached up, cupping his jaw. His beard had grown long enough to soften, and I decided I wouldn’t let him shave it off any time soon. Pulling his face to mine, I kissed him, breathing him in. We shared breath, both of us unable to speak from the intensity of this pleasure. We panted against one another, sharing sloppy kisses as each slide of his body into mine took our breath away. Both of my hands held his face as he traced his hand down my back, pulling me ever closer.
He was the best thing to ever happen to me. All the heartache, all the guilt, all the grief—it was all worth it for what he’d given me.
Despite his efforts, despite the distraction of his words and his body and his love and admiration, I couldn’t help it as a tear leaked free. I was hopeful—so wildly hopeful—and that scared me most of all.
Because we could have this.
Trapped within the eye of a storm, we only had to make it through to the other side.
We could have this for the rest of our long lives, if only Aonara saw fit to help us. We could restore the font and bring peace. We could grow our family and change Vesta for the better. We could do anything, if only we found favor with a goddess who’d seen fit to bless me before. Though I both feared her and condemned her, I found myself full of optimism. And that made the possibility of failure even more tangible. Just out of reach, the future of the Three Kingdoms was right there, full of abundance and opportunity, if only we could snatch it from the grips of Nereza’s greed and the Supreme’s selfishness.
Rain moved slowly, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. He kissed me as he moved, sensing my emotions. His hope and fear meshed with my own across our golden bond, and he wrote his belief in our victory in my flesh. With tender kisses and aching sweetness, Rain did what he could to reassure me. Without words, I could feel him. He believed in us—believed in me .
“Until we are just whispers on the wind and our story is written in the stars,” he murmured.
I gasped as his words made me come undone. My muscles tightened around him and his own movements seized as he spilled into me.
Neither of us had words as we caught our breath. Neither of us could say a thing that hadn’t already been said. And so we lay there, unmoving. Rain summoned divine fire into his palm, throwing it toward the wood we’d gathered before sunset, but we didn’t part.
We both knew exactly what we stood to lose and what we stood to gain. No more words could soothe or encourage, and so we let silence blanket us as we drifted to sleep.