Chapter 9 #3
“Your wife asked you to kiss her.” The photographer doesn’t have the slightest clue that we’re unhappily married. He snaps another picture, but I can only imagine Luca looks constipated or fed up with me.
Either way, the photographs aren’t going to be usable.
A sigh slips past Luca’s lips, and then I feel his breath mingle with mine, hovering but waiting.
I drag my fingers through his hair, and his eyes close. There’s a deep sadness, and it helps not to feel it staring back at me.
I lean in, kissing him, needing a taste, hoping that he’ll play along instead of push me away.
The kiss is tentative at first, soft, curious.
His body melts against mine, the icy exterior crumbling away as he pulls me tighter, closer, kissing me deeply.
I hear the snap, snap, snap of the camera.
Luca breaks the kiss and glares at the photographer. “We’re not giving you a free show,” he growls.
A faint smile spreads across my lips. Even if Luca is pretending to be in love with me, I’ll take it. His words make my tummy flutter and my body tingle.
Luca’s thumb grazes my bottom lip, his gaze on my mouth.
My heart quickens, and my senses are overwhelmed. Does he want to kiss me again?
How easily it would be to lose myself in him.
I’ve missed kissing him, touching him, falling into bed with him.
The photographer glances through his camera roll, pausing and zooming in. “I think a few of these will do. Unless you want another few shots? We can call it if you’re both satisfied.”
Luca untangles from my embrace and stalks over. “Let me see the photos.”
The photographer flips through the photos on the digital screen, and Luca’s jaw is tight. The latter images must be better than the first ones that we took.
Even Luca seems to relax as he reviews them and sees they’re not all bad.
“We’re done.” Luca turns and heads out of the room. It seems he’s leaving me behind until he turns at the door and glances over his shoulder. “Are you coming?” He’s short and still a bit testy.
Jealous?
Is that what’s seeping out after the compliment the photographer gave me?
“Of course.” I smile and follow after Luca.
Just outside the room, Paige and Nikki are entertaining Zeke, rolling a ball back and forth with him, which seems to be holding his interest.
That is until he sets his sights on me. “Mama!” Zeke leaves the ball behind and hurries over, stumbling as he throws himself at me, tripping over the hemline of the gown and the train, which has curled up under my feet without anyone’s help walking around.
I bend down, lifting Zeke into my arms. “Were you good for Mama?” I ask, hoping Nikki and Paige would be honest with me.
“He’s always a delight.” Nikki stands and rubs at Zeke’s back as I hold him. “Makes me miss when Luca was that little.”
Zeke buries his hands in my chest and then his face, closing his eyes.
Paige stands from the floor with a yawn and stretches. “I think someone is ready for a nap—Zeke.” She’s quick to clarify when her yawn reminds me that I’m exhausted too.
“Did you sleep all right?” Nikki glances from Zeke to me.
“He slept great.” I don’t need to lie to her or explain that I was too afraid to fall asleep here again.
Luca puts an arm around my shoulders. “I slept great too.” The smile on his face almost seems genuine, but I can’t help but feel betrayed.
He’s lying to his mother and to Paige.
“You put me right to bed.” He pulls me in for a kiss in front of them, and I can’t help but lean into it, knowing that it’s not real but not caring.
My brain is screaming at me, knowing he hates me, but his tongue glides past my lips and my body heats up from his touch.
Nikki clears her throat. “Maybe we should give you two some privacy.” She takes Zeke with her as she and Paige head down the hallway.
Once we’re out of earshot, I raise an inquisitive eyebrow at him. “I put you to bed?” I glare at him. “I can’t believe you suggested to your mom that we did that under her roof!”
Embarrassment floods through me, making my cheeks burn.
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Luca stares at me, and his fingers graze my cheek.
This thing between us, the heat that sizzles, it isn’t real.
I just can’t fathom why he’s pretending.
“What are you doing, Luca?” I know his feelings diminished, or maybe he doesn’t like me at all anymore.
It’s just the two of us. There’s no audience. No show that needs to be put on. Besides, Nikki and Paige can’t honestly believe it’s paradise between us.
I tilt my head, glancing up at Luca. I want to call him out, argue with him, scream and tell him that he can fool his mom, but he can’t fool me.
And that’s when I see it. He lifts my chin to his stare. “Kissing you, it just—” His breath is raspy, and he leans in again. “I can’t stop myself after one taste. I crave your touch, your taste, the sweet smell of your skin.”
His words send tingles through my body. His fingers unclasp the clip in my hair, bringing the curls down around my shoulders in waves.
He grabs a fistful of my hair, tilting my head up, holding me, keeping me under his command. “Tell me to stop, that you don’t want this.”
But I do want this; I want him, more than I’ve ever wanted anything. “Never.”
He groans, fighting desire but failing as his lips conquer mine, and I relax under his touch, my mouth opening as he deepens the kiss.
I’ve missed him, missed this, the sweet stolen moments, the simple touch of his hand on my cheek sliding to the back of my neck as he deepens the kiss.
He guides me back against the wall, his lips moving across my collarbone, sucking and nipping at the skin. He sets my body ablaze.
“Dada!” Zeke squeals from around the corner as he comes running in to find us.
Luca freezes, his body grows rigid, and he breaks the kiss. It’s like the mood just disappeared from a simple word. Or it could be my son storming in that made Luca uncomfortable.
“Sorry!” Paige chases after Zeke. “Didn’t mean to interrupt the two of you. Nikki disappeared into the bathroom, and Zeke wouldn’t hold still for two minutes.”
Sounds exactly like my son. Exhaling, I force a smile. “It’s okay.” I reach for Zeke, picking him up and flipping him around in my arms, giving him butterfly kisses over his nose and cheeks.
He squeals and throws his arms at Luca. “Dada!” he chants again, and this time Luca takes him with an awkward smile.
“Are you sure you know what that means?” Luca rubs his nose against Zeke’s, and I swear I fall more in love with the two of them every day.
Heavy footsteps tap over the flooring, and I glance in the direction. It doesn’t sound like Nikki.
“Are we done here?” Moreno doesn’t offer a smile, no hint of warmth. “Your father wants me to take Harper and Zeke back to campus when the photographer is done.”
“I’ll need to get changed.” I gesture to the dress that I’m wearing.
“Of course.” Moreno nods. There’s no smile. No kind words. Not even a polite chitchat about the photographer and the pictures we were required to take. “I’ll be waiting by the foyer in ten.”
He doesn’t give me much time.
“I’ll watch Zeke while you get changed.” Luca continues to cuddle Zeke, but the minute I start to exit into the hallway for the stairs, Zeke starts fussing.
There are no tears yet, but they’re inevitable.
“Mama!” Zeke squeals and shrieks.
It breaks my heart. On some mornings when I drop him off at daycare, I experience the same sounds, and it rips me apart inside.
Mondays are always the worst, after Zeke and I spend all weekend together. “It’s okay. I can take him.” I hold out my arms, and Zeke climbs onto me like a monkey but refuses to let go. “Can you show me which room it is again?”
Zeke’s cheeks are red, his eyes glassy, and he exhales a heavy sigh once he’s in my embrace. He rests his head on my shoulder, and his eyes close. He could use a nap. Makes two of us.
“Of course.” Luca walks alongside me until we reach the stairwell. “Let me take Zeke.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Managing heels and the train of the wedding gown is difficult enough, but doing it up two flights of stairs carrying Zeke is not wise.
Luca must realize the dilemma too. “I don’t want anything to happen to Zeke or to you. We’ll be fine,” he assures me. “You, in those fancy heels and dress, need to be careful.”
“Okay.” I hand off Zeke again, and this time he’s not fussing since the little one has his sights on me the entire time.
Luca leads me to the third floor and to the suite where I had gotten dressed in the wedding gown earlier in the morning.
He opens the suite door, and I step inside. “Can you come in and help me with the zipper?”
Wordlessly, Luca steps into the room behind me with Zeke and secures the door. “Turn around.” He gestures with his finger.
I hear the soft plop of little feet as he puts Zeke down onto the floor.
Luca’s hands caress my hair, pushing it to one side over my shoulder before he gradually lowers the zipper on my wedding dress.
I let the gown fall to the ground and step out of it, breathing a sigh of relief. I lift the material and place it back onto the hanger.
“Mama!” Zeke squeals and comes running at me, tackling my legs.
Luca covers Zeke’s eyes. “Don’t look, buddy.”
I laugh, shaking my head while I grab my clothes from earlier in the morning. “Why not?”
“He shouldn’t see his mother naked.”
I glance down at my undergarments. “This is naked?” I tilt my head to the side. “You and I have a different definition.”
I pull my sweater on over my head and reach for my jeans. “And you don’t see me covering your eyes.”
Luca grins. “Oh, come on, we’re past all that.”
My gaze tightens. “Are we?” I ask, stepping closer, into his personal space. “Last I checked, we weren’t sleeping together. Which means you have no business seeing me naked.”
His smile fades, but he doesn’t flinch or even glance away. He’s staring right through me, and it sends a shiver down my spine. “We’re married.”
“By contract only.” It’s the reason I was standing in my wedding gown just minutes earlier, we’re both abiding by a legally binding agreement.
Luca leans in, his breath teasing me, making me want to kiss him. His gaze moves to my lips, but he doesn’t close the distance. He just hovers and waits, dragging the unbearable tension out, tormenting me. “It’s still a very real marriage.”
I snort. “You’re right, it is. Married and not having sex. Sleeping in separate rooms. Sounds just like a typical marriage.” I take a step back, my heart nearly pounding out of my chest.
He grumbles and grabs me by the hip, pulling me closer. “You know that isn’t what I meant.”
“Do I?” I tilt my head, staring up at him.
“I don’t want that kind of marriage with you.”
“What do you want, Luca?” I ask, my breath catching in my throat.