Chapter 11
Eleven
Nova
Stretching out on the sofa, I shove my legs over Ashton, and his fingers immediately rub my thighs.
I swear we’re trying to watch a movie, but I haven’t spent two seconds on the actual plot. Plot, what plot?
Ashton always manages to steal every second of my attention.
“Can you pass me the pillow?” I gesture at the opposite end of the couch to the decorative pillow propped on the side.
Ashton grabs it and teases me with it. “This pillow?”
“Yes.” I hold out my hand, waiting for him to give it to me, but instead, he whacks me with it.
“Pillow fight!” Ashton beams proudly at his assault on me with a pillow.
There’s one pillow at my back, but it’s not quite enough to make me comfortable. I reach for it and get on my knees, trying to gain an advantage as I swat at him with the pillow.
Ashton shifts out of the way, and I leap at him, throwing my body on him with the pillow.
He manages to smack the pillow out of my hands, and it falls behind us onto the floor.
“You jerk!”
Meanwhile, he grabs the pillow he hit me with first and takes another whack at me. It doesn’t hurt other than my pride, which is severely bruised.
I straddle him, vying for the pillow that he lifts above his head, trying to keep out my reach.
He leans forward, which forces me backward, and with my legs at either side, it’s not enough to hold on. I’m forced to wrap my arms around his chest as he bends me backward, the pillow outstretched in his arms.
“Give me a hand!” he shouts, and I glance in the direction of footsteps as Liam emerges from his bedroom.
Liam smirks and shakes his head. “Fat chance I’m getting in the middle of that.” He gestures at the two of us. “When are you telling Luca about your situationship?”
Is that what we are?
“Never,” Ashton grumbles. “Luca will have my head, and I prefer not to be murdered in my sleep.”
I pause and finally let go, the motivation and fun slipping away as I climb back onto my side of the sofa and pretend to watch the movie.
Ashton’s brow is furrowed, and he tosses the pillow at me, letting me have it, like I won some grand prize.
Except I feel like everything just turned to shit in a matter of seconds.
Situationship?
Ashton doesn’t ever plan to tell Luca about us?
My head is spinning, and my thoughts are reeling out of control.
I can’t take it anymore. I stand and toss the pillow at him. “Is that all we are—a situationship?”
Ashton huffs and glares at Liam.
“Why are you looking at him?” I’m waiting for Ashton to answer me.
“Of course not! I like you. We’re just … keeping things quiet. A relationship would mean everyone would know about us.”
“Yes, and that’s so terrible!” I’m fuming, and I storm to my room. “Don’t worry about telling Luca because it’s over between us!” I shout over my shoulder before opening my bedroom door and stomping inside. I slam it forcefully behind myself.
Silence fills the void, and tears threaten my vision.
I refuse to cry over some stupid boy who wouldn’t even admit to dating me.
Grabbing my phone and Bluetooth headphones, I blast angry metal to dull the heartache.
I will not cry over Ashton Rinaldi.
Flopping onto my bed, I shut my eyes and drown the world out.
Seconds tick away, and my heart pounds with the beat of the music. I don’t hear anything, but it’s Ashton’s hands that jolt me back to reality as he nudges my arm.
My eyes flash open, and I’m ready to kill him. “Go away!”
He gestures to the earbuds, and I remove my earphones, glaring at him.
“I’m not having sex with you ever again. Get out!” I sit up, my feet grazing the floor as I perch myself at the edge of the bed.
His jaw twitches. “You know we’re more than a situationship, Nova. I really like you.” Ashton shuffles his feet. I can sense he’s uncomfortable confessing his feelings after I’ve screamed at him and broken things off.
Well, good.
He was an asshole.
“Yes, you like me so much that you won’t tell anyone about us. Seems like I’m just some girl you like to fuck.”
“That isn’t true—I mean, I do love fucking you.” Ashton quirks a smile.
If I wasn’t angry, those dimples and that grin would be turning me on right now. Okay, maybe it is turning me on a little, but I’m still mad at him. I’m just getting flutters in my pussy, and I want it to stop.
“I’m more than just a piece of ass, Ashton. I’m not one of your puck bunnies that you fuck and treat like trash.”
His eyes flicker, and there’s definitely hurt behind those dark eyes. “I never insinuated that you were. You’ve always meant more to me than any other girl, Nova.”
The way he says my name brings tingles throughout my body.
No, I will not fall weak to his charms. “If this is some grand apology, Ashton, you suck.”
He sighs, bends his head forward and closes his eyes. “I am truly sorry. I like you, Nova, a lot.” His eyes open, and he stares at me with pure honesty and vulnerability.
My breath catches in my throat, but I don’t say anything.
“I shouldn’t have let Liam say that about you, about us. You’re more than some situationship. I’ve always wanted it to be more than that with you, with us. You’re my girlfriend, and yes, I’m terrified for your brother to find out because he’s made it clear he’ll kill anyone who touches you.”
“You’ve never had a problem fighting with Luca in the past.” I’ve seen the bloody lip and bruised cheek.
They may be on the same hockey team and best friends, but I’ve seen evidence of the punches thrown between them.
Two sons, born from different mafia families, they both tend to let their anger lead their hearts. I’m not oblivious to it. My own father is mafia.
But I can’t help but hope that Ashton will be different. That, eventually, he’ll cut ties to the mafia, and not necessarily his father, but that he’ll step out of his footsteps, become his own man.
“I don’t want to fight him about this, about us,” Ashton says. “I want there still to be an us. I don’t want you to walk away from me because of something stupid I said or did. I need you.”
I glare at him. “You need me for Psych 101 help.”
He doesn’t deny it. “I need you for more than just homework and studying, Nova. I want you in my life, as my girlfriend. I enjoy spending time with you, kissing you, and yes, having sex with you. But I love just being around you.”
Neither of us has said the L word.
But just him bringing it up, using it to say he enjoys being around me, it makes my heart flutter.
“I’m still mad at you.”
Ashton nods slowly. “You can be mad at me, but will you please give me another chance?”
I purse my lips, contemplating what I should do. “Will you tell Luca?” I know it’s the one thing he’s been avoiding most of all. I’m not too keen on Luca finding out, either, but it seems everyone else already knows. Eventually, word will get out.
“Can you just give it a little more time?” Ashton asks. “I will tell him, I promise. But if he finds out now, during the hockey season, he’s going to lose it, and I don’t want him screwing up his game.”
“You don’t want your team to lose.” This isn’t about Luca, it’s about the Narwhals.
Ashton nods. “Yes.” He slowly sits at the edge of the mattress, facing me.
“The entire team knows. How long do you think they’ll keep our little secret? Even Harper knows. It’s not fair to make everyone keep quiet. It’s going to come out, eventually.”
“Eventually.” Ashton stares at me, his hand reaching out, brushing the hair out of my eyes, his thumb grazing my cheek. “Why are you in such a rush to tell him?”
“Are you ashamed of dating me? Is that it?” I can’t fathom why he won’t tell him, and worrying about Luca getting mad or fighting with him seems like an excuse.
“Of course not. If I were, I’d have broken it off long ago.”
“Okay.” I’m not sure how to take that comment. I pull back from his touch, pushing his hand away. “I’m not happy with you right now.”
“I’ve gathered that.” He rests his hands in his lap. “I don’t want us to break up over Luca. It’s … dumb.”
“My feelings are dumb?” I glare at him.
“That isn’t what I’m saying,” Ashton says and sighs. He rests his hands on his thighs, wiping the sweat that seems to be forming.
Am I making him nervous?
“Then spell it out for me, because I feel like you’re avoiding telling Luca about me, and I don’t know why it worries you so much. Is it because of my father?”
His gaze tightens and then relaxes as he forces a smile. There’s something there, but I don’t push for more answers.
“Luca has a mean right hook, okay?” Ashton laughs and hangs his head. “I don’t want to be out for the rest of the hockey season because he kicked my ass.”
“You wouldn’t fight back?”
“I don’t want to, but I might not have a choice, and I know the game is important to him.
It’s more important to him than it is to me.
Hockey is just an outlet for me, a way to face my demons, a place to let them out on the ice.
I love playing hockey, but I don’t have the same charisma on the ice.
I’m not out there trying to go professional. ”
I quietly listen, reaching for his arm, letting him talk, giving him the chance to explain everything to me.
“If I fight back, and I know I’ll end up being forced to do that if we get into a fight, I don’t want to ruin his chances this season or next.
He could seriously get hurt, because I’m not going to sit there and take a beating because he’s angry with me.
I’d let him get one, maybe two punches in—he’s got a mean right hook, but any more and I can’t just let my ass get beaten. I do have a reputation to uphold.”
Exhaling heavily, I let my hand find his.
“Thank you for telling me all of that.”
“Do you still hate me?” He glances up at me, waiting for my answer.
“I could never hate you.”
He brings my hand to his lips, placing a warm kiss on my skin.
“Come here.” I scoot closer, my hands against his chest as I raise up, taking a taste from his lips.