Chapter Twelve
Kallias
Ash steamed in heaps, scattered among charred beams. A stone arm holding a spear cracked beneath a smoldering rafter, but the statue of Elohios remained intact.
Anger surged up my throat, strangling my breath.
This was the temple of my god—the one who blessed me—and it burned in dragonfire.
I caused this by bringing the beasts here.
They were meant to protect, to dissuade the Velli from crossing the Craggs, yet instead they decimated this city and the places of worship dedicated to the deities who had always served us.
My teeth ground together as I stepped into the wreckage, kicking aside debris while I approached the statue.
Forgive me. I never should’ve ordered Nienna’s dragons to burn the city. Would the soldiers have returned without it? I knew my people. If I put their families in peril and gave them the choice between saving them or standing against me—I knew which they would choose.
But that didn’t make it right.
My eyes smarted, itching from the heat-slicked air as I stopped before the statue. Smoke clawed down my throat, but I held my breath and lifted the broken beam from the figure.
Ash crowned his head, caught in the carved lines of his face. My heart twisted at the sight. Symbols of justice, honesty, righteousness left sullied and gray.
I brushed away what I could, then kicked clear a place to kneel. My armor was gone, replaced by my mantle. The King of Radaan sought guidance from his god, and so I knelt amid the ruin I had delivered to my city.
The cracked stone beneath my knees still held heat, searing through the fabric of my trousers. My head bowed, spine straight, hands resting on my thighs.
Elohios, guide me. Forgive me for my actions.
Memories broke loose: riding beside Nienna, shouting for her to set the stables and stores ablaze; my body pressed between her legs, lust curdling into something twisted and foul; Kai’lon’s voice ringing in my ears, his words echoing what my people thought of me, of her; his sudden lunge, my spear moving without thought, his head striking the floor.
The scream of his daughter.
Bile scorched my throat as my stomach clenched. I widowed a woman, orphaned a child. Worse, I killed him in the most horrific way possible—before their eyes. That moment would follow them for the rest of their lives.
Sarai would wake to Mai’s cries in the dead of night, soothing her girl while drowning in her own grief. Fallione would try to saddle her with Lon as we moved east. No mother could survive that.
Hatred wrapped chains around my heart, crushing tight. It didn’t matter who was to blame anymore.
Protect my people when I cannot, I prayed.
I am only a man. A flawed tool. Doubt lingered, ever-present.
Was I doing what Radaan truly needed? Yet surrendering her to Tallon would destroy her.
The Velli would come and take, take, take.
They craved power, and Tallon, in his foolishness, would hand it to them.
Please, I beg of you, grant me wisdom. Let me see the right path. Give me the strength to walk it. I held no illusions about ease. I made mistakes and would suffer for it, but this burden exceeded what I could carry alone.
Facing an enemy was simple. Choosing who lived and died on a battlefield came easier when we fought for the same cause. But turning against my own people, because I had wronged them and Tallon twisted that wound to his advantage?
I was caught between a rock and a plow. The weight of my mantle and my heart threatened to crush me between them.
Soft footsteps approached, but there was only one person Greaves would allow this close to me now. I didn’t rise. Instead, I offered my thanks, honoring Elohios for his blessing, and begging that he answer when I called again.
No breeze stirred. No ray of sun warmed my back. There was no sign of his reply.
I urged my well-worn mask into place—all worries and fear tucked away. Ash clung to my legs as I rose, but I didn’t dare brush it off, risking my mantle slipping loose. I glanced at the swollen sky, dark clouds swallowing smoke like a gluttonous sow.
With a long, steadying exhale, I faced Nienna.
Memory and emotion pressed hard against the bars of my mind. Breath faltered in my chest as I looked at her.
She had taken it upon herself to see Sarai and Mai settled and cared for. There was no shortage of tasks for a queen; she had vanished shortly after Kai’s beheading.
She stood amid the ruined street in a white dress, blood arcing crimson from chest to hip.
Grime marred the hem from her long trek.
Overcast light dulled her flaxen hair, ash drifting down to catch in her braided crown.
Only her mantle still gleamed. Even her face lay empty of feeling, blank as she studied me.
She deserved more than a broken king.
“Kallias.” Her voice carried the sweetness of a siren’s call, luring me closer.
Greaves leaned against a crumbling wall behind her, the street otherwise deserted, my prayers granted privacy.
I crossed the remains of the temple toward her. Soot blackened my hands from tending the statue, and I kept them to myself, though a smear of dirt sullied her forehead where she had wiped away sweat.
“I left you at the estate.”
I ached to touch her, to hold her, to convince us both that this had meaning; that our love justified the world burning.
“And you left to worship without me.” Her gaze traced my face, deep-sea irises lingering over cheek and mouth, a faint crease forming between her brows. “I would have gone with you to pray to Veridis.”
Behind me, the temples lay in ruin. Veridis’ among them. “There’s no temple left.”
She took in the destruction, eyes glassing with tears. “Ronan wouldn’t have known.”
That truth offered no comfort. My chest hollowed, heart battered beyond response. It had been an accident. War bred mistakes.
“I’m sorry.” A tear slipped free as her chin tipped upward. “Kallias, I am so sorry.” The words fell soft, as though I might miss them.
I gathered her into my arms, pressing her face against the chains of my mantle while her body trembled. “I am too.”
Guilt surged through me. I carried blame like armor, forgetting she would bleed from this as well. I knew her heart. She would shoulder fault that was never hers.
Yet she hadn’t spilled the blood staining her gown.
“How is Mai?” The question escaped even as my thrumming pulse battered my ribs, dreading the answer.
Nienna stiffened, then sagged against me once more when I refused to release her. “As well as can be expected.”
“I didn’t–” Mean to. But I had. War demanded survival. He moved against me, and I defended myself. More than that, I erased a traitorous noble. Forever.
“War isn’t fair.” Her body shook with a strangled sound, fingers clutching my coat the way Mai had clung to her father.
“It never is.”
What kind of monster slaughtered a man in front of his child? War was no excuse. I could’ve deflected the blow, pinned him, kept distance. Anything but beheading.
Now his heir would grow in hatred, enduring a lifetime of pain and grief carved by my impulsive hand.
“Perhaps it is best that I cannot sire any children.”
She drew back, confusion widening her eyes, lips parted as though words waited there.
“I would only bring them suffering.” My hands framed her face, forehead pressed to hers. “Death follows me, loyal as a dog that knows it will be fed. Veridis sees it. It may be a blessing, yet it feels like punishment—one I must bear.”
“You are not cursed, Kallias Sunspear.” Her voice held firm softness. “You are the shining light of Radaan. Mai will understand in time. Kai’s demise was his own doing. You are cleansing Radaan, as you were cleansed in dragonfire. Darkness burns away. Your faith remains.”
Emotions surged, gratitude and helpless love choking tight. I forced it down. She needed strength, not to see her husband buckle under pressure.
“Don’t.” Her hand caught my mantle’s chains before I could pull free. “Don’t shut me out.”
My forehead rested against hers once more. Those forgiving eyes held me steady. “I am unworthy.”
Sorrow flooded into my soul. My lids fell to hide the burn gathering behind them. When the world threatened to cave beneath my feet, I no longer stood alone. She remained. She bore the weight beside me, like oxen yoked to the same burden.
The sky broke open, and rain struck hard, as though Elohios himself mourned with me.
“None of us are worthy.” Her voice brushed gentle warmth through the cold.
I tipped my face to the downpour, letting the torrent wash the heat of battle from my skin. She was right. I might be unfit to lead, but if I stepped aside, Tallon would rise. To abandon Radaan for a sliver of personal happiness would stain me far worse.
I didn’t want more blood, nor did I have any desire to carve fresh grief into my people.
But it was my duty.
I smiled at the sky. Elohios knew me well, working through Nienna to remind me who I was. Radaan wore no crown. We bore the mantle to serve. No matter the suffering, I would serve my kingdom.
Rain fell in sheets, a deluge that attempted to drown the lingering dragonfire around Lon—a grieving god’s benediction. One great enough to hide the tears tracing a king’s face.
I’d like to say that we slept that night. We lay tucked in bed, nightclothes donned, Nienna safe in my arms.
But rest never found me.
Smoke clung to the drapes and carpet, coiling around me with a grip that refused release. Through the long hours, the clang of craftsmen rebuilding the city rang out, often shattered by the shriek of a dragon flying low.
When Freya slipped into our rooms, Greaves was already moving—proof he hadn’t slept either. Lon did not welcome us, and I just killed her mayor. Plenty of souls would wish me dead.
Kai’s widow, foremost among them.
Nienna groaned as I eased away, muttering while she dragged the blankets over her back, stealing my warmth. The corner of my mouth lifted despite myself, savoring that small breadcrumb of happiness before the long, draining day ahead.
My legs had barely cleared the bedside when a knock sounded. Greaves went to answer as I crossed the room for a tunic.
“Wait!” he hissed.
I shot him a tired, questioning look.
He shoved the door closed, planting his boot against it.
“Who is it?” My throat burned from the smoke. Each word scraped like grit against raw skin.
“Ronan.”
I frowned at the clean fabric in my hands. Nienna had spoken to him last night, called his beast off, then he vanished into the dark with Tsunami.
“Kallias, they’re here!” Nienna leapt from the bed. She clasped Freya’s hand, beaming at me. “The fleet has arrived!”
The Draconis maid hovered with her head bowed, peeking up at me. She had clearly brought the news to her queen before Ronan could inform me.
I swallowed hard and pulled on my tunic. “Once she is dressed, let him in.”
“They’ll be exhausted,” Nienna said, throwing off the covers and moving to dress. “The flight across the sea and on to Lon will have drained them. They need rest and food, but they can catch up with us.”
Frustration gnawed at me. She spoke truth, yet asking the people of Lon to feed the very beasts that burned their city would curdle every stomach. Necessary, all the same. We needed those dragons before facing Tallon.
I should’ve been grateful.
“A few sheep.” Her voice softened. Her hand closed around my arm, a gentle squeeze that told me she’d read my thoughts. “Then they’ll move on. I won’t let them linger.”
I managed a smile that felt closer to a grimace. “Whatever is necessary.”
Silence followed as we dressed, each lost to private reckoning. The quiet clink of Greaves’ bandolier echoed while Nienna fastened my mantle, metal whispering against metal.
My fingers traced the delicate chains of her mantle, smoothing the dragonscale shoulders.
Gold spilled across her chest over lavender fabric embroidered with gilded leaves.
The white dress lay ruined, blood-soaked, but Fallione already had seamstresses at work.
When we met Tallon, she would stand before him as the spotless queen of Radaan.
Word would have reached Reem by now. We would face him soon enough.
Fresh anger tore at the wounds carved into my heart.
I had words for him.
A roll of my shoulders steadied me as I faced the door Greaves blocked. Fingers closed around my arm. My muscles tightened before I met Nienna’s tender smile with a frown.
“What is it?”
Her palms warmed my cheeks as she drew me down for a chaste kiss. Dark lashes lowered over deep blue eyes, holding me captive. When she pulled away, my own pain stared back at me from her gaze.
“I’m here.”
Two words. They struck like an arrow. My thoughts spun, head light as if steeped in wine. I wanted to lift her, return to the bed, pretend the city beyond these walls didn’t despise us. I wanted to forget Tallon, his schemes, and live small and quiet.
But that path wasn’t mine.
Not this time. And now—I did not walk it alone.
My fingers threaded through the hair at her nape as I pressed a kiss to her brow. “I love you.”
Relief softened her features, pride roaring through me at the sight. She knew this road would bruise and break us, yet she chose me still. She chose this fight.
“Ready?” I asked, mindful of her, refusing to charge ahead without her at my side.
Her arm slid through mine, chin lifting, smile sharpening into fierce resolve. “Let’s see our dragons.”