Chapter Twenty-Three
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LENNON
Hunter looks as though he’s seen a ghost. He takes a step back, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and squeezing.
“Come again?”
I know he heard me.
“I need you to sleep with me. In bed. Together.”
His throat moves as he swallows hard. “Why?”
I chew the inside of my cheek, twisting my lips from side to side. I hate how I’m constantly asking him for shit.
“Quick version: we’re going to be expected to sleep in the same bed at my parents’ house.”
Hunter narrows his eyes. “And they’re going to be watching to make sure of that?” he asks, his voice edgy.
“Pfft. Seriously wouldn’t doubt it, but no. And the bed is only a full size.”
His eyes widen, finally understanding.
“So we might want a practice night.” I suck in for air. He held me that one night shortly after Brandon died, but that was different.
“How the hell are we going to fit in a full size?” Hunter raises his brows. He’s well over six feet tall and twice my build, so that’s a damn good question.
“Uh, well…being very, very close?” I grimace. “I’d say one of us can sleep on the floor and pack an extra pillow, but the doors don’t lock, so they could walk in at any minute.”
He tilts his head, studying me. “The doors don’t have locks? What the hell kinda environment did you grow up in?”
I throw my arms up. “I told you! They’re crazy! They wanted to control everything, which meant a lack of privacy.”
“That’s fucking nuts, Lennon,” he says. “Are there cameras in the bathroom I should know about too?”
“No!” I playfully push him. “But I did warn you! I told you we were really gonna have to sell it because they’ll pry into everything .”
He blinks, taking a step back. “Alright, it’s fine. I’ll do whatever it takes. But if I squish you and the baby in the middle of the night, that’s on you,” he teases.
“Ha-ha. I won’t think twice about shoving your ass off the bed,” I warn playfully.
“Fair enough.” His tone is weak, almost as if he’s in pain. I’ve been asking a lot of him, but as soon as we return from this trip, things will go back to normal, and we can both forget this ever happened. Or try to.
My phone rings from the bedroom, so I tell Hunter to hold on and rush to answer it. As soon as I see Sophie’s name on the screen, I pick it up with a pleasant hello .
“You holding up okay?”
“I think so. Nerves are setting in. I think once we’re there and the news is out, I’ll be able to relax a teeny bit. Even better when we get it over with.” I sigh, my shoulders slumping as I sit on the bed.
“How’s Hunter doing? You two get all the details figured out?” She wants more info, which doesn’t surprise me at this point.
“Uh, well. Yes,” I hesitate on how much to tell her, but she’s my sister, and I tell her almost everything. “We practiced kissing.”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Sophie nearly chokes out the words.
I roll my eyes, knowing damn well she heard me. “We had to! We have to be convincing, which means acting and looking like a real couple.”
She’s silent for a beat, then speaks up in a too perky tone. “With tongue?”
Laughter escapes me as my cheeks heat. “You’re ridiculous.”
“That means yes,” she says matter-of-factly. “I bet he’s a good kisser too.” She sighs as if she’s imagining it, which has me chuckling. Hunter is a fantastic kisser. Fuck my life . “So are you hot for Hunter? Because I wouldn’t blame you in the least.”
“Hot for Hunter?” I repeat, blushing. “Are we back in middle school?” I ask defensively.
“That’s not an answer.”
I groan, not wanting to have this conversation. Things are getting complicated even though I don’t want to admit it. Last night after we went to bed, I’m pretty sure I heard Hunter jerking off. Part of me wanted to press my ear to the wall and listen, but I knew that’d be wrong. Still, it didn’t mean I wasn’t intrigued, wondering if he was thinking about me or not.
And as soon as that thought crossed my mind, I pushed it away.
“No, of course not. This is all pretend, Soph.”
“Hmm…but is it?” she asks in a condescending tone. “I see the way he looks at you. The way he’s always looked at you. It’s okay to admit you’re attracted to him. I know you feel guilty because of Brandon, but Hunter’s a hot piece of single man meat.”
“Eww,” I say, laughing. “Please don’t ever say man meat ever again.”
“Stop dodging the question, sis.” I hear the smile in her snarky tone, but I don’t allow myself to think about those things. I can’t.
“Hot for Hunter sounds like an ad campaign for a new men’s cologne.” I snort, hoping she drops it.
“Hell, it should be!” She chuckles. “The man always smells so damn good.”
So much for dropping it.
“Well, we were going to go through our notecards again, and I need to finish packing.” My stomach growls. “And apparently the baby’s hungry again.”
“Okay, fine. Go feed my niece or nephew and please text me when you can. I’m going to be a nervous wreck waiting to hear from you,” she pleads.
“I will, promise! Everything okay over there?” I quickly ask. “Are you avoiding Hurricane Carter?”
“Yes and no.” She groans. “I’m ready to dick punch him, cut it off, then serve it on a platter to Maria.”
“That’s…graphic.” I snicker. “Well, good luck. If you want to stay here while we’re gone, I can leave you a key.”
“Ooh, maybe. I’ll let you know.”
Minutes later, we end the call, but I need a moment to get myself together before going back to Hunter. Sophie’s words linger in my head, my heart races, and I’m nervous about facing him after what she said.
This is all just pretend , I remind myself.
Once I’m good, I walk into the living room with a smile plastered on my face. I grab the notecards from the kitchen table, then sit on the couch next to him, hoping he doesn’t notice my awkwardness.
“Where did I grow up?” I ask, keeping my eyes down.
He answers right.
“What school did I graduate from?”
Right again.
“What’s the name of the church where my father preaches?”
Right once again.
I ask him at least twenty more—a mix of childhood questions to more recent stuff—and he answers all correctly without pause.
“What’s my favorite color?” I ask randomly, though it wasn’t written down in the cards. He’s so on top of his game, I want to throw a wrench his way.
“Yellow,” he answers, not as confident as before.
“Why do you say that?” It’s a trick question anyway since I don’t have one.
Hunter shrugs one shoulder. “You remind me of sunshine, so I thought yellow suited you best.”
“I do? How so?” I ask, genuinely interested.
He shakes his head just the slightest, twisting his lips almost as if he wished he hadn’t said anything, but I’m too curious to let him off the hook, so I anxiously wait.
“Well, when you weren’t scowling, you were always laughing and smiling, singing and dancing around. You were the epitome of a ray of sunshine, lighting up every room you walked into. It wasn’t hard to notice, I guess.” I hear the vulnerability in his tone as our eyes stay locked.
“Wow…” I say, blinking. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” I think yellow just became my favorite.
Before he can respond, my stomach growls…loudly.
His brows pinch together as he laughs. “Was that you?”
“Yeah. Apparently, breakfast wasn’t enough.” I blush.
“Good time to take a break then. I think I have your notecards memorized anyway.” Hunter wipes his palms down his jeans, then stands. “Want me to make you an early lunch?”
“How about you let me make you something for a change?” I grab his arm and pull him back to face me. “Seriously, I can.”
“Sure. I was just trying to help.” He thrusts his hands into his front pockets. “Actually, I’m not super hungry, so I’ll pass this time. I’m gonna hit the gym for a couple of hours since I’m all packed.” Hunter’s tense, and I wish I knew what he was thinking.
“Oh, um, okay. I’m about done too, so maybe I’ll take a nap after I eat.”
We stare awkwardly at each other before he breaks away and walks to his room.
As I make a sandwich, I think about everything I need to do once we’re back from the trip. I haven’t told Brandon’s parents yet, and I’m not sure how the hell to do that. Mrs. Locke has texted me some, checking on me, which I appreciate. I hope she’ll be ecstatic with the news, but honestly, I don’t know. Either she’ll be excited to have a part of Brandon with us or she’ll be too grief-stricken and not want anything to do with me and the baby.
As I’m sitting at the kitchen table, looking over the stack of notes I need to memorize, Hunter saunters in wearing his workout clothes. He grabs his keys and wallet, then says he’ll be back in a couple of hours. We say goodbye, and then he’s out the door.
Looks like we’ve reached the awkward stage of faking a marriage and things being weird between us. Asking him to practice kissing and sleeping with me was probably too much. I’m starting to worry all my requests are taking a toll on him.
The conversation with Sophie lingers in my mind as I clean the apartment. Guilt consumes me as I think about how close Hunter and I have become over the past few months, but a part of me believes Brandon would be happy we’re leaning on each other. He always wanted us to get along, but I’m afraid we’ve crossed those lines now. If Hunter and I had met under other circumstances—if he had only been the roommate and we didn’t share a moment at the bar before I met Brandon—the entire course of our friendship would’ve been different.
Was Hunter an asshole to me because he thought I stole his best friend? Was he angry all this time because I ended up with Brandon and not him?
Shit . Why hadn’t I thought of this before?
Hunter taking care of me, nearly begging me to stay here, suggesting this insane plan of being my fake husband…
And then kissing me like that.
Oh my God.
Realization hits me in full force as I tidy up the bathroom. Every time he heard me singing, he screamed at me to shut up, and now he loves it. He says Brandon would’ve wanted us to get along, which I know is true, but he has gone above and beyond to make sure I’m okay. He hasn’t brought a girl home in months or even gone out to the bars without me.
Have I been that dense this entire fucking time?
After Hunter gets home from the gym three hours later, he takes a shower, and we hang out for the rest of the night. He seems a lot less tense, which eases the awkwardness between us. He makes us dinner, and we talk about the plans once we arrive in Utah. I told my parents I’d be renting a car so they didn’t have to make the hour drive to pick us up, but that was mostly because I didn’t want to do introductions in the middle of a busy airport.
“So, uh, if we’re going to be sleeping in the same bed, you’re gonna have to wear like eight layers of clothes,” Hunter says.
“I’m three and a half months pregnant, so yeah, that’s not happening,” I tease. “I’m an oven as it is.”
“Well, I can’t sleep in clothes, so I figured one of us should.”
I look at him on the couch, enough space between us to fit two other people. “If it’s a problem, we can skip it. Once we’re at my folks, we’ll wing it.” I stand to walk away so I can wash my face and get ready for bed, but Hunter follows behind me and grabs my hand before I can get too far.
“Lennon, wait.” He spins me around so we’re facing each other. “Sorry I’m being weird about this. It’s just…” He pauses and looks away for a split second. “You’re still Brandon’s girlfriend to me, and I’m trying not to cross any lines.”
Little late for that , I want to say but think better of it.
I nod, wanting him to know I understand. “I think we’re at that point where we can admit the lines have blurred.”
His eyes drop to my lips, and then he blinks as if he can’t let himself go there. Hunter, the asshole roommate, is long gone, and I know that. I trust this Hunter with my life, and I can see he’s fighting with himself the same way I am.
Before he responds, I continue. “Things are about to get messy with having to be close and showing emotions for each other, so what if we put our past on the back burner, pretend it doesn’t exist, and start over as if it’s only ever been me and you?” I know that sounds awful, and I feel terrible even suggesting it because I still love Brandon—will always love him—but this is my new reality. I wish more than anything he were here to experience this with me, but he’s not, and I have to do whatever it takes to get through it.
“You really want that?” His eyes pierce through me, showing me how hard this is for him, though he’s been insistent on helping me.
“I think it’s the only way you and I can get through this without feeling like it’s wrong.”
His throat moves as he swallows hard. “Alright.”
Once I’m ready for bed, I let Hunter know so he can join me. He’s in sweatpants and a T-shirt, which has me cracking a smile. I know with certainty he does not wear that to sleep.
“You’re gonna burn up in those,” I tell him, sliding under the covers.
Considering it’s early July, we’re both going to roast wearing any layers in bed.
“I’ll be fine.” He walks to the other side and moves the sheets. I feel him moving around as I stay on my side, nearly hugging the edge of the bed, and stare at the wall like this isn’t the strangest sleepover ever.
Hunter shifts around, fluffing the pillow, then stills. “Uh…” His voice lingers. “Lennon.”
“What?”
He starts cracking up, and when I turn to face him, my eyes widen, and my heart drops.
“Oh my God.” My cheeks heat, and I take the vibrator from his hand. “That’s, uh, not what you think.”
Dammit, Sophie.
I spin around and shove the toy into my nightstand, hoping like hell he’ll drop this. I bury myself back in bed, closing my eyes tight.
“That’s a nice back massager you’ve got.” He chuckles. “Might want to find a new hiding spot, though, now that I know where it is.”
“Ugh!” I slam my arms down over the covers and turn toward him. “Can sweet and caring Hunter return now, please? This is embarrassing, and I’m already nervous you’re in here.”
His face drops as he looks at me. “Okay, I’m sorry.” The tiniest of a smile flashes across his face, making me roll my eyes. He knows damn well that it was a vibrator, one I’ve been using regularly to relieve stress and tension.
I lean over to the nightstand and click off the lamp. “Good night, Hunter.”
Sometime in the middle of the night, I hear Hunter shed his clothing. I snicker, knowing I was right. He climbs back in, and minutes later, his arm snakes around my waist. I should push him away, but when he closes the gap between us, and the warmth of his skin hits me, I can’t deny how good it feels to be held again.
I fall back asleep, and when my eyes pop open at the sounds of a deep, agonizing groan, I notice sunlight peeking through the curtains.
When I roll over, Hunter’s curled into a ball, hissing through his teeth.
What the hell?
“Are you okay?” I ask, sitting up. Strangely, I feel rejuvenated. Hunter held me most of the night, and at some point, we shifted, and I rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating and felt protected all night long.
“No.” He groans. “Your knee…” He pants, blinking. “In my junk.”
“I did?” I gasp, bringing a hand to his shoulder. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”
“Just…give me a second.” His head falls as he cups his groin.
Sliding out of bed, I walk to his side and watch the agony take over. Shit, I feel awful. I’ve never kicked Brandon in the nuts before, so I don’t know how I managed to kick his.
After five minutes, he finally relaxes and releases a relieved breath. “I thought I was gonna die.”
“Hunter, I’m?—”
“Gonna kill me?” He raises his brows, pretending to be amused though I know he’s not.
“I’m sorry! I don’t know how that happened. I guess I twitch in my sleep a little.”
“Well, I was trying to slide out from under your legs, and your knee went straight for my dick.”
My eyes widen, realizing why my aim was so good. We snuggled all night. Then it dawns on me— morning wood . I wince, knowing that had to hurt like a bitch.
Hunter stands, and I stare, willing my eyes to stay focused on his face and not the fact that he’s down to his boxer briefs. “Well, I better go pack a cup for my junk so you don’t bruise me in Utah.”
“Okay, now you’re purposely trying to make me feel bad.” I chuckle, following him out the door.
“We have to leave in two hours,” he reminds me. “I’m gonna make breakfast and shower unless you wanna go first?”
I want to comment on the fact that he did last night after his workout, but decide against it. I hope sleeping with me wasn’t torture for him, but that doesn’t mean I’m not contemplating bringing my vibrator in there with me to release all the tension building inside me.
The thought makes me feel guilty as hell.
No , I remind myself. I can’t let it consume me right now. Hunter’s friendship and finding out I was pregnant with Brandon’s baby have been the only things keeping me afloat. I’m certain I would’ve drowned with grief by now if the baby didn’t exist. In a way, our child saved me from falling into a deep depression.
Aside from harming Hunter, sleeping with him felt more natural than I anticipated. Maybe it’s because I was so used to having Brandon next to me that it felt right or that I’ve been so lonely without him here. Either way, sharing a bed might not be as bad as I thought.
“You have everything?” Hunter asks after we’ve both showered and finished getting ready, pulling a suitcase behind him. “I’m going to make a trip to the truck and put everything in the back. Then we can get going.”
“Yep. Let me grab my bags.”
“Bags?” he asks, his brows arching. “You know we’re only staying for three nights, right?”
“Yes,” I say. “I had to bring shoes and a few different outfits.”
Shaking his head, he chuckles. “Women.”
Once he’s loaded everything, I look around to make sure I don’t forget anything, though I know a part of me is stalling. Once we leave this apartment, we’re really doing this. We’re going to Utah as a married couple.
“You ready?” he asks, standing in front of me with a smirk.
I inhale deeply and smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” I shrug, the nerves hitting me hard.
Hunter brings his hand up, rubs my cheek, then tucks strands of hair behind my ear. “I’ll be here for you no matter what. You know that, right?”
My eyes start to water because I do know. Nodding, I lean into his touch and exhale. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him into a hug. It takes him by surprise, but he relaxes and hugs me back.
“Thank you. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for this. Even if it goes to shit, I can’t thank you enough for…just being here. Holding me up. Being my best friend.”
I try to express what I’m feeling, knowing things are about to get intense, but I need him to know I appreciate him more than words can describe. So much has changed in the past three months, and admitting he’s been one of the best friends I’ve ever had has my heart racing.
“Anything, Lennon.” He squeezes before pulling back. “I’ll do anything for you. I’m not going anywhere. You, the baby, me. We’re gonna be a makeshift family, and I don’t care what anyone says about it.”
I smile at him calling us a family. “You know I’m overly emotional right now?” I laugh with tears in my eyes as my gaze drops to his mouth.
He laughs at my admission, then presses a sweet kiss on my forehead as if to seal his promise.
A knock on the door interrupts our moment. With minutes to spare before we have to leave, Hunter goes to answer it. Sophie and Maddie know we’re flying out today, so I doubt it’s them. It’s probably Liam or Mason. I’m still not sure if he’s told them or not.
Following him, Hunter opens the door, and my heart stops when I see it’s the girl who spent the weekend with him before Brandon died. The one who wore my damn shirt. Ugh.
“Jenna.” Hunter’s uneasy tone implies he’s just as surprised to see her as I am. “What’re you doing here?”
The girl has the nerve to scowl.
“You left me no choice, Hunter. I’ve been calling and texting you for weeks with no answer,” she says accusingly, and my mind goes back to those few times I saw him declining her calls. “We need to talk. Privately .” Her eyes flick to mine for a second before going back to Hunter.
He crosses his arms over his chest, not budging. “I don’t have time for this. We’re about to leave.”
“It’ll take two minutes,” she persists. “Alone.”
“She’s not going anywhere,” he snaps. “Whatever you need to say just say it because we have to go.”
“Alright, suit yourself.” She shrugs, shifting her body to just the right angle where I notice how tight her shirt fits.
Oh my God .
My breakfast threatens to come up when I see her swollen stomach.
“I’m pregnant.”
All the blood drains from my face as I stare at her bump that looks to be as big as mine. Hunter called us a family, and now…he’s having a baby. With her .