Chapter 1 #2
“Of course, she wouldn’t,” Nikki says. “She’s a smart girl. She knows family comes first. With that said, since we can procure a place outside of the dorms, will Zeke be living with you, or will he remain with your parents?”
Dante glances at Nikki. “Perhaps that is something she should discuss with Luca first.”
“Please,” I say, glancing back over my shoulder in the direction he disappeared. I want to talk to him and explain everything.
Will he forgive me?
And if he doesn’t, what does that mean for the marriage?
Will his parents have me and my family killed if we don’t wed?
“After dinner,” Dante says as the food is brought to the table.
I glance at the empty chair beside me.
Does Luca intend on skipping dinner?
I wouldn’t blame him for it. If I had the opportunity, I’d rather be stashed away someplace else.
Then again, if it were me, I’d have hightailed it out of here with the car. Luca had planned on driving me back to campus, but now, I don’t know what plans await us.
Nova nudges me as she grabs a dinner roll. “Don’t worry, Luca will be fine.”
He’ll be fine. I’m just not sure that he’ll forgive me.
Dinner is contentious, and I’m relieved when I can finally get up from the table without being rude or scolded by his father.
“Do you want me to find Luca for you?” Nova asks as she gets up from the dinner table.
“That would be appreciated.” I don’t want to wander aimlessly around the house. The last time I did that, it ended with me in this predicament, forced to marry Luca.
Which wouldn’t be terrible if we’d have been dating for a couple of years.
We were just scratching the surface, turning a budding friendship into something a little more heated.
Now, I worry the heat will be directed entirely at me, but not in romantic gestures as much as being scorched with his anger.
I hear the two of them before I see them round the corner.
Luca’s eyes are steel. His expression fueled with anger as he carries his bag and mine.
“Let’s go,” he says and heads for the back door where our coat and shoes await us.
I don’t bother with pleasantries with his family. What’s the point? I slip into my heels that I foolishly brought with me, and slide my coat on, buttoning it.
“Bye,” he shouts over his shoulder.
Nikki comes hurrying into the hallway, pulling her son into a hug. She gives me one too, but it’s a little more forced. “I’ll see you next weekend, Luca,” she says.
“Yeah,” Luca mutters, tossing the door open and waltzing outside.
I hurry after him, two steps behind. Between his long strides and my heels, I am definitely not capable of keeping up.
He doesn’t bother offering me an arm to help steady me. The ground is soft from the recent thaw of snow, and my heel catches in the ground, knocking me off balance.
I fall, landing on him, knocking us both down to the ground.
He curses as he face plants into the grass without warning.
“I’m sorry.” I’m quick to apologize, but I don’t think it will help. I’m half on top of him and slink my way back as he climbs onto his knees and then stands.
I’m only half-covered in dirt and grass, while Luca is a bit messier. But he offers me his hand, helping me regain my footing.
Once I’m recovered, standing firmly on the grass, he dusts off the dirt. He’s lucky he’s not caked in mud. There are grass stains, but they brandish his coat and his knees, clad in jeans.
“Be careful,” he says and grabs my arm, helping me the remainder of the way to the car.
I get the distinct feeling that he’s helping me so that I don’t trample him a second time.
As we approach his vehicle out front, he unlocks the car and tosses our bags into the backseat before climbing into the driver’s side.
I slink into the passenger seat in the front, shut the door, and wait for him to scream at me.
But he doesn’t say anything.
At least not yet.
The silence is even worse.
The air is thick with tension, and while it’s chilly outside, the car feels a hundred degrees. I buckle my seatbelt, and he turns off the radio, driving us up to the wrought iron gates.
We wait for the guard to allow us to leave.
Slowly, they open the entrance and Luca slams on the gas, tearing out of the driveway in haste.
I’m silent. I don’t know what to say to fix the damage that’s been done.
I can hear each breath he takes. They’re long, pronounced, and filled with a sigh, like he’s inwardly fighting with himself.
After several minutes, I finally gather the courage to say something. “Can I explain?” My voice falters as I shift in my seat.
His grip tightens on the steering wheel, his jaw tense as he doesn’t so much as look at me.
“Explain how you lied to me. Sure, go ahead.” His tone is clipped, his anger edging its way out.
I deserve the wrath he’s waiting to set upon me. I can feel it coming, ready to be unleashed.
“When I was in high school, I got pregnant.”
His gaze flickers. “Boyfriend or—” He doesn’t even want to say the word.
“Yes, he was a senior on the high school varsity football team,” I say, as if that explains why I hate sports and avoid jocks.
“You slept with him and got knocked up. Got it.”
It’s much more complicated than that, but he’s right, that is what happened. I expel a soft sigh and tilt my head back, staring up at the car ceiling.
“You can hate me all you want, Luca. You don’t even have to marry me, but I just, I need to know that Zeke will be safe.”
He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated, and then slams his hand on the steering wheel.
“Fuck!”
I glance at him, silent, watching him fall apart because of me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You don’t get to apologize and think everything will be fixed.” He shoots me daggers and then returns his focus to the road. Luca shifts in his seat and scratches his jaw. “Fuck.”
“Maybe I can take Zeke and leave town for a while. I won’t tell anyone why I’m leaving. Your family’s secret will be safe.”
He laughs darkly, and I feel the hair on my arms stand on end, like electricity humming through the air. “My father will never let you just run and disappear,” Luca warns. “He has men everywhere.”
“And you’ll be one of them,” I whisper, glancing down at my hands in my lap.
There’s no engagement ring sitting on my finger. His mother discussed buying us wedding bands as a gift if we do go through with the marriage.
“Don’t remind me what I’ll be.” Luca’s voice is gruff, fueled with hatred. “I never wanted to work for Dante.” He slams his hand on the steering wheel again, his anger boiling over.
“I’m sorry.”
“There you go again, apologizing.” He doesn’t even glance at me, but maybe I should be grateful. It’s better that he focuses on the road, getting us back to campus in one piece.
Silence fills the car once again.
Looking back, thinking about his reluctance for me to attend Nova’s birthday party suddenly makes sense.
“This isn’t all on me,” I whisper, finding my strength as I glare at him. “If you told me your father was mafia, I wouldn’t have come.”
“I tried warning you!” he shouts, and I feel a shiver course through me.
Suddenly, I’m no longer hot but ice cold. I reach for the vent and adjust the temperature on my side of the car, trying to get warm.
“Well, you should have tried harder,” I mutter loud enough for him to hear me.
“You should have told me about Zeke!”
I glare at him. “When, Luca? When would have been a good time to tell you that I have a two-year-old son? That I’m a mom.
That I already have my life planned out for me after college and that I’m struggling to get through the day because my child, who should need me, is being cared for by my parents. ”
“Any time before today,” he seethes. “We had study dates together. You could have mentioned Zeke then. Or how about in class? You could have shown me a photo of your son on your phone. Hell, I put my phone number into your phone; he wasn’t even a wallpaper on your screen. It’s like you were trying to hide him.”
“That’s not fair.” I shake my head, but maybe some small part of me believes him.
I did hide Zeke from everyone.
Kensley, my best friend at Evergreen, doesn’t know about my son.
My shitty roommate, Quinn; I obviously wouldn’t have told her.
He’s a secret that I’ve been keeping, not to protect him, but to protect myself.
Because believing that I could have a normal college life was easier than facing the reality that I’m a teenage mom.
The worst part in all of it, was leaving him behind. “I didn’t even want to come here,” I say, staring out the side window.
“Then why the fuck did you come to Nova’s birthday? I told you not to come.”
He’s angry with me. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me.
“I wasn’t talking about the party. I meant EU,” I say.
He’s silent. It’s the first time in a while that I feel like he’s letting me speak, or maybe he’s just decided he doesn’t care what I say, he’s going to remain angry with me forever.
“That scholarship, Luca, it required me to live on campus. I wanted to commute so that I could go to college during the day, and then come home so I could be with Zeke as much as possible.”
He shifts again but doesn’t say anything.
I know he’s listening, even when he pretends not to pay attention. His muscles flex and ripple as I speak. The tension bounds through him, unwilling to release.
“My parents decided for me that I would be coming here to get an education.” They couldn’t afford my tuition without the scholarship. It was an either or situation: attend full-time and live on campus, or live at home, get a job, and forgo the college degree.
“Don’t blame this on your parents.” Luca glares at me before returning his attention back on the road.
It’s growing dark outside, and the drive back to campus isn’t on heavily traveled roads.
“I take full responsibility for not telling you about Zeke,” I say, making it clear I’m not blaming them. I was just trying to explain why he’s not living with me and I’m in the dorms.
He huffs under his breath, ignoring me once again.
Silence fills the car. He reaches for the radio, deciding for himself that we’re done talking.
As he pulls up to the quad and parks outside the dorms, he barely glances at me. He reaches into the backseat and retrieves my bag, handing it to me.
I step out of the vehicle, grab my bag from his hands, my fingers grazing his briefly. I stare at him, but he won’t meet my gaze.
I guess we’re not going on that date tomorrow if he won’t even look at me, let alone speak to me. “Good luck at practice.” I remember him telling his parents he had hockey practice tomorrow.
“See you in class,” he says, and I feel like we’ve just broken up after a huge fight. Except we weren’t dating.
We aren’t technically anything, and yet we’re engaged.