Chapter Fourteen
“What does someone wear on a date to give off ‘friend only’ vibes?” I say the words out loud into my full-length mirror.
I pull on a pair of jeans and check myself out.
“Damn it, my butt looks too good. I can’t wear these.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, the light in my room flickers off and then on again.
Old wiring. It has to be.
I rip the jeans off and put on a sundress. It’s pretty, which is why I bought it, but also shapeless. I stand in front of the mirror. This is the best option. It’s short, but it also covers my curves. Then I put on some makeup, mostly to hide the fact that my cheek is red and slightly swollen.
There’s a knock at the door, and I look at the time. No way would Will be here this early. I run down the stairs and throw the door open, and Liam stands on the other side, his hands stuffed into his pockets.
“Hey,” he says. He tilts his head, his gaze on me. “You look nice.”
I glance down at my dress. “I do? That’s not what I was going for.”
Liam narrows his eyes. “Sorry for the compliment, I guess.”
“What’s up?” I stay in the doorway and hold my arm against the frame.
“Can we talk?”
His face is serious, so I open the door wider and he walks through.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
Liam heads toward the living room and sits in the middle of the couch. I lower myself onto the chair.
“How is this going to end?” He looks at his hands folded over his lap.
“Sorry, how does what end?”
Liam puckers his lips and blows out a breath. “With Grandma. Sis. It keeps getting worse. How does it end? With Alzheimer’s?”
“Oh.” I stand and take a seat next to Liam on the couch. “Did something else happen today?”
Liam shakes his head. “But that person in the room freaking the fuck out? That wasn’t my grandma. It’s like her eyes were empty.”
I tuck a leg underneath myself and lean my elbow on the back of the couch.
“No one knows how anything ends,” I say.
“Birdie.” He shifts so our knees press together. “You’ve seen this play out. What should I expect? Because what I saw today? It broke my fucking heart. Yeah, she forgets things, but today was different.”
His dark blue eyes stare into mine. I put my hand on his knee.
“Do you want my response as your friend or as your grandma’s nurse?”
He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths.
“Nurse.”
I remove my hand from his leg and tuck it into my lap.
“At some point, Sis will most likely become non-verbal, and when she does speak, it won’t make much sense.” Liam’s body tightens.
“Most Alzheimer’s patients become bed bound,” I say. “Unable to get up and walk around. She’ll lose bladder and bowel function at some point as well.”
Liam grabs my hand. I pause, but I think about all the people I’ve had to deliver bad news to in my short career, and it’s a common reaction.
“Don’t hold back. Please. I need to know what we’re in for as a family.”
“The end will most likely be when your grandma can no longer swallow. She won’t be able to take food in, and that happens in the later stages. As you know, she’s DNR, and your dad and uncle want minimal interventions.”
“So she’ll starve or die from dehydration,” he says.
It’s not a question, but a realization.
Liam nods. “How long before that happens?”
“It’s impossible to tell,” I say. “But since meeting Sis, it’s clear to me that her disease is progressing.”
“Yeah.” Liam runs a hand across his face. “When I was away, I could ignore it, you know? I’d call and check in almost daily, but everyone told me what they thought I needed to hear. But now that I’m here, there’s no hiding from it.”
“It’s a terrible disease,” I say, grabbing both of his hands and holding them. “There are no absolutes. So we hope. That’s all we have.”
We’ve somehow inched closer, our legs intertwined, our faces inches apart. He moves his hand to my face, tracing the bruise left by today’s events. I inhale sharply when he traces his thumb along my bottom lip in a way that no longer feels like his grandma’s nurse catching him up on her case. Or even two friends. This feels like more.
“Li—” I begin to say, but he presses my lips together with his finger.
“Can I block all the bad stuff out and just enjoy the view in front of me?”
I take a deep breath but nod.
Since when am I the view?
His hand slides to the nape of my neck, fingers weaving through the strands of my hair, pulling me closer. When I look at him, he’s staring at all the places he touches me. His finger traces the edge of my hairline, moves to my jaw, and down to my chest before he stops.
His eyes flick to mine. Our lips meet in a hungry collision, a symphony of desire and urgency. He tastes so good. Too good. Like the Sour Patch Kids I say I’m only going to have one of, but then finish the entire bag. Or like the glass of Prosecco that turns into two because of how much I love the sweetness on my lips.
The pressure of our kiss pushes me over until I’m lying on my back, Liam between my legs. His mouth opens mine, and I experience sensory overload. His heavy body atop mine. Our tongues dance as if this isn’t the first time they’ve met.
His large hand grips my thigh, then moves higher until it’s under my dress and tracing the outline of my panties.
The front door pushes open, and Liam jumps off of me and I shoot up to a sitting position.
“Pillow,” he murmurs under his breath, and I turn to him. He points. “Pillow, Birdie. Pillow.”
I throw it to him, and then I see what he’s trying to hide right before he presses it into his lap.
“Birdie.” My mom walks into the living room and sees us. I most likely look as disheveled as I feel. “Hi, Liam.”
He gives a wave in her direction, and she covers the amused expression on her face.
“I’m going to go upstairs,” she says, while pointing in case it wasn’t clear. “Take a shower. A long one. You know the drill.”
She presses her lips together, trying to suppress a smile, and walks upstairs.
The stairs creak with her weight, and then we hear her on the floor above us. Liam moves the pillow, grips my waist, and drags me toward him.
“Wait.” I push my hand against his chest.
“What?” He runs his hand along my cheek.
“Did you kiss me to forget about how sad you are?” I take slow breaths.
“Yes and no.” He runs his hand along my outer thigh. “But now that I’ve tasted you, I’m addicted.”
I know what he means.
“We can’t do that again.” I push him back again, and he puts space between us.
“Wait,” Liam says. “What?”
I lean forward and wipe my lip gloss off of his swollen lips.
“Has something changed that I’m not aware of?” I say, straightening my legs and pressing my head into the back of the couch. “Because last I checked, you’re trying to find the first ticket out of here.”
Liam rubs a finger along the curve of his lip. “You know I’m still leaving, Birdie.”
He turns toward me and puts his hand on my leg. His long fingers rub circles into the inside of my thigh. It would be so easy to lean forward and push away all logic, but I’m smarter than that.
“I’m attracted to you,” he says, and my body heats up. “I feel like you may be attracted to me, too. We can be casual.”
“Casual?” I choke out a laugh. “What does that mean to you?”
Liam pushes his lips out as he nods. “I haven’t given it a lot of thought. We’ll spend time together. Do a lot more of that.” He smiles.
“And what happens when you leave?”
“I’ll leave.” He pulls me toward him. “But I will spend so many nights lying awake and thinking about that particular kiss.”
“At least you’re honest.” I move to the corner of the couch and tuck my legs in. “I was half-expecting you to tell me you’d try to sustain some sort of long-distance relationship.”
I stand and straighten my dress. “Thanks for not feeding me that level of bullshit.”
“What?” Liam shakes his head. “You only talk to people you could have a future with?”
“Actually,” I say. “Yes.”
“Huh.” Liam stands and drags a hand down his face. He moves a window curtain to the side and stares out at the front yard. He slowly turns around. “What if you could have a future, but you just don’t know it at the time? Imagine all the people you shut out before getting to know them.”
“There is something you should know about me.” I fold my arms over my chest and take a deep breath. “I let very few people get close to me. I have my reasons. If we hadn’t already become friends, who knows? Maybe something more could happen.”
“We’re not that good of friends,” Liam says.
I glance up at him, and he’s smiling. I grab a pillow from the couch and throw it at his face, but he catches it with ease. He laughs and holds his arm out to me. I willingly melt into his embrace, and he kisses the top of my head. It’s not lost on me what I’m saying no to.
I deserve sainthood.
Liam reaches for my hand. “Friends.”
I hear the door to my mom’s bedroom open and then loud footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Liam,” she says as she appears in the room. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”
He opens his mouth to answer, just as there’s a knock at the door.
“Will,” I say, completely forgetting that he was going to pick me up.
“Will from work?” my mom says, screwing up her face.
“You’re going on a date with Will?” Liam says, raising an eyebrow. “The male nurse guy?”
“It’s not really a date,” I say, moving toward the door. “It’s just pizza.”
“That sounds like a date,” my mom says.
“I agree.” Liam folds his hands over his chest.
“Hey, Will,” I say as I open the door. He smiles, and then looks behind me at my mom and Liam.
“See you later, Mom,” I say. “Liam, thanks for stopping by.” I hold the door open for him so he can leave.
Liam steps out, watching me the entire time. He turns back when he reaches his car and raises an eyebrow when Will puts his hand on the small of my back as he opens the door to his truck.
It may make zero sense to Liam, but going on a date with someone who I find nice enough is a much safer option than getting lost in the world of Liam Bergland.