Chapter Twenty-Six
By now, Liam is probably on a plane to New York. Maybe he’s already there, transitioning from his laid-back Wheaton look to a man about town in the city. This is where the fade-out begins. I’ve seen it before with friends when I was a travel nurse. There’s an understanding that exists but is never spoken about.
It’s easier to lie.
So instead, we say all the nice things: Keep in touch. Text me. Don’t be a stranger. If we ever end up in the same place, reach out, and we can grab a drink.
Maybe they aren’t all lies. I’ve said that to people with the best intentions in mind. But then time passes, and all the things you enjoyed about the person’s company are slowly forgotten. The reach-outs become less frequent until they stop altogether.
I’ve experienced it so many times. I’ve known from the moment I met Liam that his presence in Wheaton would be temporary. This is good. He’s meant to be somewhere else. It was a nice distraction, but he’ll leave before I get more attached.
“Are you still up for wine night tonight?”
Lucy stops at the desk where I’ve been doing charts for the past hour.
“Your house, right? At seven?”
Lucy twirls the ends of her hair. “Yes. And it’s a total disaster right now. Let this be your warning.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I say.
Lucy looks over her shoulder and then leans closer. “I told Will you were coming over, and he wants to join. What should I tell him?”
“Umm.” I rub my lips together. “Does he need to be there?”
“I feel bad. He doesn’t have many friends in town. What if I tell him to come around eight? That way, we can catch up on our girl gossip before he gets there.”
“Perfect.” I go back to chart work. “See you later.”
Everything in Wheaton is walkable, so I grab a bottle of wine from the fridge and the charcuterie board I put together and stroll over to her house. She lives on the other side of town, a good seven or eight blocks away.
“Birdie.” Lucy runs outside and grabs the wine. “I could have given you a ride.”
“It’s a nice night,” I say. “I don’t mind walking.”
She opens the door for me. “This no-car business is getting ridiculous.”
“Agreed.”
I look around her house, and she wasn’t joking. Gavin’s toys are everywhere, and I have to step over a bin of Legos lying in the middle of the floor. Her kitchen is small, and the counter is full of mismatched appliances and an open loaf of bread.
“This house is very temporary.” Lucy grabs a corkscrew and opens the wine. “Derik wanted the house in the divorce, and I didn’t have the fight in me so I’m renting this dump.”
Lucy hands me a glass, and we clink our glasses together. She looks around.
“Gavin doesn’t have enough places for his toys, so they end up all over the house. I can’t tell you how many toes I’ve almost broken stepping on his stuff.”
She points to the living room, and we take a seat. She has one chair and a small couch in the room.
“When are you going to tell Will that you’re not that into him?” Lucy smiles above her glass at me.
“Do I need to?” I tuck my legs underneath myself. “I’ve given him no validation. I barely talk to him. I don’t initiate contact. Shouldn’t he just know?”
“You’d think so.” Lucy laughs. “The next time he asks me about you, I may just mention that you have much hotter prospects.”
“Well, I don’t know about that.” I look down at my glass.
Lucy leans forward. “We’re becoming friends, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
Lucy is easily my closest female friend in town, which isn’t saying much.
“I have to ask.” Lucy bites away her smile. “What is up with you and Liam?”
“Nothing.” I shrug my shoulders.
“Come on, Birdie.” Lucy shakes her head. “He’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. Please let me live vicariously through you because my life is so boring at the moment.”
“You are going to be sorely disappointed.” I grab the wine bottle on the ottoman and fill up my glass.
“Nothing has happened. At all? I don’t buy it. My favorite thing to do at the nursing home, well, besides my job, is watching the two of you converse. It’s like you’re unaware of anything else existing.”
My face heats, and Lucy hits me across the arm and laughs.
“I knew it.”
“Fine.” I take a long sip. “There was a kiss. Once. But that’s it.”
Lucy shrieks. “That was it? No. There has to be more.”
“I swear.” I shrug. “I don’t know, Lucy. I’m attracted to him, obviously. But he’s only here for a short time, and that’s not how I roll. So I friend-zoned him.”
“Hmm.” Lucy leans back.
“Look,” I say. “I know it may be confusing. But I don’t need to develop feelings for a guy who’s made it very known that he’s moving away the first chance he gets. It’s hard for me to put myself out there. Especially when I know he’s leaving.”
Lucy tilts her head and studies me. “But you already have feelings for him, Birdie. I don’t know you that well yet, but it’s pretty obvious.”
“Not big ones.” I wrinkle up my nose. “Imagine if something between us happened. I’d have bigger feelings for him, and it would make everything harder.”
“Andy Kennedy.” Lucy nods her head.
I snap my head in her direction. “Huh? Who is Andy Kennedy?”
“Well,” Lucy says. “When I was your age, that’s who I talked myself out of trying things with. He was this gorgeous guy I went to college with, but he was going to medical school on the other side of the country, and I didn’t want to start anything with someone who was going to be leaving so soon.”
“What happened to him?”
Lucy shakes her head. “According to my online stalking, he’s aged incredibly well, is even more gorgeous than before, and is a neurosurgeon. All I’m saying, Birdie, is it’s not the things we do that we’ll regret; it’s the things we’re too scared to try.”
“I want to see this guy.” I bite my lip and smile, and Lucy laughs as she pulls her phone out.
“Look at him.” She points. “Gorgeous.”
She hands me her phone, and I start flipping through his photos. He only has a few, and it’s of him and his dog.
“Reach out to him,” I say. “Send him a friend request. Ask him if he’s still single.”
Lucy rolls her eyes. “I’m in Wheaton co-parenting with my asshole of an ex-husband. That ship has sailed.”
“I don’t know, Lucy. It could be exactly what you need.”
As if on cue, there’s a knock at the door, and a moment later, Will walks into the living room.
“Hi, Birdie. Lucy. I brought more wine, and it looks like we could use it.”
Will pours us a glass, and Lucy grabs more food from the kitchen. Will sits next to me on the couch.
“What have I missed?” He slides closer to me.
“We were discussing how big of an ass my ex-husband is,” Lucy says, and Will nods.
My phone vibrates underneath my leg, and I grab it, trying to suppress the smile that forms when I see it’s a text from Liam. I wasn’t expecting to hear from him at all while he was in New York. It’s a selfie of him eating sushi with chopsticks and a reminder that you can’t get that in Wheaton.
“Who texted?” Lucy says. “And has you all giddy over there?”
“No one.” I put my phone back down. “My mom sent me a funny meme.”
A few minutes later, more pictures come through. One is of bright lights and billboards. And the next is another selfie of Liam, this time eating cheesecake. I save the photos to my camera roll. He looks handsome and carefree.
I try to follow the conversation, but instead, I’m obsessed with my phone. I do my best to hide how distracted I am, but I don’t think I do a good job.
By ten, I’m exhausted and want to get home so I can text Liam back.
“I should get going.” I stretch my arms up dramatically and yawn.
“Me too.” Will jumps to his feet. “I can drive you.”
I help bring empty bottles to the kitchen and grab my cutting board that the charcuterie was on.
“Thanks so much for having us, Lucy. Next time, I’d love to have you guys over to the Hurst haunted house.”
Will opens the car door for me, and I slide in. My phone starts vibrating, and I glance at the screen, and Liam is calling me. I send it to voicemail.
“There’s this waterskiing show next weekend on the south side of the lake. I was thinking about checking it out if you’re interested.” Will turns to me.
“I’ll need to look at my schedule, but—”
My phone rings again. Liam.
“Sorry, Will. I better get this.”
“Hi,” I say into my phone.
“Are you ignoring me, Birdie?” His voice is deep, and my body heats at the sound of it.
“I’m on my way home.” I cover the receiver and mouth an apology to Will. “Can I call you in a few minutes?”
“You’re on your way home from where?”
“Lucy’s.”
“Hmm.” I can hear his breath. “Is Lucy giving you a ride home?”
“No,” I say, and Will continues to glance in my direction.
“Are you walking?”
“I am not.”
“Hmm,” Liam says.
Will takes a turn near my house and then pulls into the driveway. He turns off the engine and faces me.
“Here we are,” Will says.
“Are you in a car with a man?”
“Can I call you in a few minutes?”
“Is that the male nurse with you?”
“I’ll call you later.”
I don’t wait for him to respond before I hang up.
“Sorry about that.”
Will takes his seat belt off and turns to face me. He smiles and puts his hand on my arm. He slowly inches forward. My phone starts vibrating, and we both look down.
“Sorry, Will.” I glance at the screen and hold the phone against my chest. “I really need to take this.”
“Is everything okay?” Will puts his hand on the middle console.
“Probably, but I better make sure. Thanks so much for the ride home.”
I get out of the car before I can hear Will’s response. By the time I’m at the door, I already have three more missed calls. The house is dark when I get inside, and I take two steps at a time to get upstairs. When I reach my bedroom, my phone rings again, and this time it’s a video call. I run to the mirror to see the state of things and then smooth out my hair with my fingers.
“Hi, Liam.”
His face comes onto my screen. He’s in bed, leaning against the headboard, his arm tucked behind his head.
“Did he kiss you?”
“Who?” I kick off my shoes and sit on the end of my bed. “Will? No.”
Liam blows out a breath and smiles. “Hi, Birdie.”
“I was at Lucy’s for drinks and apps. Why are you blowing my phone up?”
“I miss you.”
That was not what I was expecting him to say. I prop up my pillows and lie back.
“How was your day? How’s it being back in the city?”
Liam puckers his lips. “It was fun. I went out for dinner with some friends, and now I’m back at Robby and Jenna’s and I was thinking about you.”
“What will you do tomorrow?” I move to my side.
“I’m meeting friends for brunch, and then I’m going to do some interview prep because my first one is Monday at eight. Speaking of, can I get your opinion on something?”
Liam gets up from the bed but keeps the phone on him. He props it on something and then pulls his t-shirt off. His jeans hang so low on his chiseled torso, and I wonder if he knows what he does to me.
He pulls on a shirt with a blue and pink pattern.
“This one?” He spins and shows it to me from a few angles.
He takes it off and puts on one that is baby blue and white, and his eyes pop. They look less dark blue and get brighter instantly.
“The second one. For sure.”
He takes the shirt off and gets back into bed. He has to be doing this on purpose. Liam’s arm is perfectly placed so his muscles pop out.
“It’s hot in this apartment,” he says.
“Yeah. Okay.” I roll my eyes.
We talk about our days, and he tells me about the interviews he has coming up.
I glance at the clock, and it’s so late.
“I work in the morning,” I say. “I should really get to bed.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Liam stretches an arm up in the air.
“Birdie,” he says, as I’m about to say goodnight for the final time. “I’m not sure about that Will guy.”
“Why?” I raise my eyebrows.
“He’s not right for you,” Liam says. “Not what you need.”
“Not what I need?” I chuckle. “And what do I need?”
Liam pinches his bottom lip, his eyes studying me intently.
“Birdie. Will you promise me something?”
“That depends,” I say.
“Don’t let anything happen with Will.”
I shake my head. “Goodnight, Liam.”
The fade-out never happens. Sunday, Liam documents his entire day for me, and every time I have a chance to glance at my phone during my shift, I smile. It’s like I’m at his favorite places with him. Sunday night, he video calls me again, and we discuss his interviews coming up the next couple of days.
I think back to my conversation with Lucy about only regretting things that don’t happen. Liam isn’t just a friend. Maybe after being around all the beautiful New York women, he’ll quit flirting with me, but I’m not sure I want him to.