Chapter 25 Reyansh Carter
Reyansh Carter
If you had met me before, and if you saw me today, you would think that I am a completely different person because the stupid smile couldn’t be wiped off my face even if someone shat in front of me.
“You are smiling, are you okay?” my PA—Henry— asks me and I give him a middle finger with the smile still intact on my face
“I am happy,” I say, continuing to work on some files.
“You definitely look like it,” he taunts before dropping in some more files on my table. “Checked these.”
“Thanks, fucker.”
He salutes, unfazed by my comment before leaving me alone in my cabin. I can’t even blame him. I rarely smile in my office. I rarely smile in real life. Until or unless, I am around my wife, my parents or Aarav.
And the only reason I am this happy is because Aisha picked up my call, talked to me for a whole five minutes and said yes to my request of accompanying her to the states.
Not only that, for the time we talked, it felt like we are back to the couple we were. The couple where she talked and I listened, hanging onto her every word like she was telling me the most important detail of my life.
She could talk for hours and I could listen for all that time without blinking an eye.
I just love her voice so much. The way she talks, the way each syllable rolls around her tongue. I love it all.
God, I love my wife way too much.
I get through the rest of my day excited. Finishing each of my tasks fast so that I don’t miss picking her up this time. I don’t want to be messing up too much, missing out anymore.
* * *
I am used to staying alone in my office till late, but tonight feels different. Every cell in my body is jumping with excitement. I texted Aisha a few minutes ago and she said she will be done by 2 a.m. It is currently 1 a.m and I am already pacing around my office, wondering how to pass this time.
I stare out the high ceiling windows of my cabin, out the slow crowd on the roads.
I have spent days, weeks, months in this position when my mind was a mess.
I know Aisha thinks the only time I started putting efforts was when she announced her wish to separate from me.
I know she thinks I did what I did only because I am scared of losing her—which I am.
She is the most precious to me, despite what my actions say.
But I started noticing her pulling away from me way too early.
I was just too numb and too high up my delusional horse to think that she will never leave me, that we are bigger than that, that despite all of my stupidity she will not leave me.
How fucking dumb I was to play around with that. To take her for granted. I know for a fact women like Aisha, the ones who know their value and I am so proud she does—do not play with their time. It is only a miracle how she gave me so much time already.
When I think about what went wrong between us, I know it is not just about our work, our goals and all that we lost in between.
Deep down, I know when we got married young, it wasn’t just because I loved her too much.
It was also because a small, hidden part of me thought I could rewrite the history by doing the same thing my parents did.
A stupid, vulnerable, and lonely part of me wanted to prove to them that not all decisions you make when you are young are wrong.
And that was neither fair to me nor to Aisha. I know she gets me and I know I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I would still get married to her young. In every universe, I want to find her early in life so I can be with her for as long as possible.
But I would take steps in a different way, act more mature and not be a fucking loser.
I grab my coat, thinking I will just wait outside her office.
My steps are hurried, and I might have jumped a step or two like a child while walking towards my car.
On my way, I decide to call my lovely best friend—Aarav. He is not useful to me most days but he is entertaining.
I wait as the call connects to the Bluetooth of my car.
“Well, what a pleasant surprise, fucker,” he says as soon as he picks up and I roll my eyes.
“Hello to you too, Aarav,” I say, trying to not let him get on my nerves this fast. I can manage for at least five minutes. “Good to know you have lost all your manners.”
“These words don’t suit coming from the mouth of the man who did so much shit.”
“Like?”
“Let me think,” he says and I just know he is going to break my record of lasting at least five minutes before lashing out on him. “Pulling my pants down in front of all the boys when I was seven.”
“You were seven,” I let out, not knowing how many times he will remind me of that. He was wearing underwear and I was a kid. I didn’t know how to curse at him when he annoyed me so I did that.
“Well, my mother reminds me of that every other day so it is only fair if I remind you of that too.”
“Thanks, Aarav. You are such a great friend.”
“That I am. But why did you call me? Is Aisha okay?”
I grunt. He thinks as if I bite her. Outside of bed, I don’t.
“She is A-okay. I am her husband, why won’t she be. I am just on my way to her office and had to kill my time.”
“You are her husband that’s why I am worried. And I am not your side chick.”
“Aw, of course not baby,” I say just to rile him up but it ends up making my insides cringe so much I want to puke. “You are my main chick.”
“You are gross, Reyansh,” he laughs and it makes me too laugh too.
It feels good to even trying to be back to my old self. I feel more at ease, more happy and relaxed like this.
Not only had my stupidity affected my relationship with Aisha, it also affected my bond with my best friend—my only friend. He was just open about complaining about it.
“How is everything going with Aisha?”
I take a turn towards the lane that takes up to her office, slowing down slightly. I think about it longer than intended. How are things between us? Better? Yes. Maybe. But are they better from the surface or from the root? I don’t know about that.
But I keep reminding myself that I have to take baby steps. We don’t need to rush.
“It is going good,” I tell him. “I am taking baby steps towards her. She will take time but I will make sure she can trust me to do so.”
He hums on the other end and I know he has something in his mind that he is not saying.
“I mean,” I take it as a cue to go on. “She did trust me once. You know how big of a man-hater she is—not that I mind, of course. It will be hard, sure, but I am willing to go through anything to save our marriage, our relationship. I don’t even want to picture a life without her.
I’m just ashamed it took me so long to get my shit together. ”
“Sometimes you need to be hit with blunt force of things to get your shit together, you know what I mean.”
I hum because I know what he means. I am clearly going through it and it is not my favorite thing in the world.
“I know you are probably the last person I should ask for relationship advice,” he says and I scowl. “But how did you get her to even say yes to you in the first place.”
“Why do you ask?”
I was feeling sweet with him for once.
“Answer my question first and if your advice is useful I might let you know.”
Jerk.
“I don’t know, to be honest,” I answer truthfully, parking in front of Aisha’s office.
The lights in her office buildings are almost off.
Only her floor is shining bright. I actually dislike her over-working herself, but six years with her have taught me to not push her about her working habits.
I have to slowly weave my way there if I want her to take some rest but I cannot simply demand her to stop working.
“I mean,” I think, looking outside my window up to her floor where I can figure out her cabin’s windows.
“Fuck, I don’t know. I just got really lucky with her.
I made sure to let her know I wanted her and only her, that my eyes only looked at her in a crowded place, that she was the only one whose touch I could appreciate, even if it was a small graze of her fingers against my skin.
I was just brutally blunt and honest about my intentions with her, and I suppose that worked.
Whatever it was, I am grateful that she let me love her.
It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. ”
“Wow,” he says and I chuckle. “I asked for advice and you went on to give me some poetic shit. Thanks buddy. Now you will never know why I asked for advice.”
“I already knew you weren’t going to tell me in the first place.”
“Damn right, I won’t. I will tell Aisha first.”
“She is my wife, idiot.”
“I know. Don’t shove it in my face.”
I shake my head, done with his antics when I notice her silhouette peeking down on me from above and I hang up on him without another word.
I wave out my car’s window to let her know I am here when she calls me and my car’s speaker fill with her voice.
God, I love her voice.
“Am I dreaming or is that you sitting in your car in front of my office?” she questions and I can tell she didn’t expect to see me here
“So you dream about me?” I smirk
“Answer my question.”
I get out of my car, standing tall in front of her window so that she can see me.
“Yes, I am. Now come down, baby.”
“Why did you come?” she asks, and her voice is so small it makes me want to hug her
“I told you I would.”
She doesn’t say anything for a minute. I take it as my chance to repeat my question.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I say.
“What question?”
I gulp. “Do you dream about me?”
“All the time.”