Chapter 24
~Deacon~
When I imagined the way this evening would go on my drive up here, talking about Megan never crossed my mind. For the first time since our divorce, I’m genuinely connecting with another woman, so why would I dwell on the past? Every part of me balks at the idea, but I don’t refuse.
Because Daley asked me to.
Because she’s opening the door to us connecting on a deeper level, and that is exactly what I hoped for.
With that in mind, I decide to start at the beginning.
“You might not believe me, but I was a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to girls.”
Daley’s arched eyebrows confirm that she doesn’t really buy it, but she stays silent, waiting for me to continue.
“For one thing, I had bad acne as a teenager, the kind that’s impossible to ignore, but more than that, I lived and breathed hockey.
I didn’t care about anything else. All my teammates started dating when we were 15 or 16 but I spent all my free time doing whatever I could to improve my game.
Things only changed after I got drafted to the NHL. Wait, let me show you.”
Pulling out my phone, I do a web search for the embarrassing photo that will prove my story and turn the screen to face her.
“There: the worst draft photo of all time.”
Unlike the flattering photo of River hanging above Daley’s fireplace, mine shows the moment after I slipped my new team’s jersey over my head. My eyes are closed, there’s a large zit on my chin and another on my forehead, and the rest of my face is red and blotchy. It’s a complete disaster.
Daley leans forward to examine the photo, her lips pursed not in amusement but in sympathy. “You look happy,” she offers tentatively.
“That’s a very generous interpretation.” The screen goes black as I switch it off and slide the phone back into my pocket.
“Seeing that photo plastered all over the internet served as a wake-up call about what being in the public eye was going to be like going forward. When I got my first big paycheck, I went to a dermatologist and got my skin sorted out. Then I bought myself a fancy car, and suddenly, girls were hanging around the rink, trying to get my attention. It’s fair to say I made up for lost time after that. ”
“I can imagine.”
There’s no judgement in Daley’s statement, but I sense a bit of apprehension, especially when her eyes dart back to that picture of River.
He’s a good-looking kid and I’m sure he’s going to have his share of gold-diggers vying for his attention too.
As much as I’d like to assure her that he won’t go overboard, I can’t guarantee that.
He’ll have to find his own path, same as the rest of us.
“During those early years, settling down with a woman didn’t figure into my plans at all.
My relationships were all casual, and that continued for a while after moving to Sioux Falls.
Eventually, though, like most guys do, I matured a little, looked at the happy marriages of the men I looked up to and decided I’d like that too, with the right person. ”
“And Megan was the right person?” Daley guesses.
“I sure thought she was.” Casting my mind back to the time we met, I have to smile. “I’d just been named assistant captain of the Wolves and she was Miss South Dakota. We got paired up for this series of commercials promoting tourism for the state. I guess you didn’t see them.”
Since she didn’t recognize me in Las Vegas, it feels like a safe bet, and Daley shakes her head to confirm it. “I’ll have to look them up online.”
“Please don’t,” I groan. “I’m not an actor and they’re awful.
However, we spent quite a bit of time together travelling around the state and filming the ads, and I fell for her pretty hard.
Besides being beautiful, she grew up in a small town too which gave us a common background.
Her sarcastic commentary kept me laughing through the long shoots.
She knew what she wanted and she went after it, and when she decided to go after me, I considered myself pretty damn lucky. ”
It’s been a while since I had any kind of positive thoughts about my ex-wife but Daley’s right; there were good times.
Remembering the heady rush of those first weeks together, wondering how far things between us would go, is nostalgic, but it also cements what I already knew: besides Megan, nobody other than Daley has made me feel that way.
It’s the same sense of anticipation I feel every time I’m in the room with her, even now while she sits there listening to me talk about my first experience with love.
With her prompting, I tell her about our wedding day, about buying our house, and more of the happy memories that I’ve pushed down for the past nine months.
But since I wouldn’t be sitting here if things with Megan hadn’t fallen apart, eventually I shift the conversation down that path instead, opening up about things I haven’t shared with anyone.
“I’d like to be able to say that she changed after we got married, that I couldn’t have seen it coming, but the truth is there were signs. I just ignored them.”
Daley leans forward, her expression empathetic and open. “What kind of signs?”
“That sarcastic sense of humour I enjoyed most of the time could also be mean-spirited. Her determination to get what she wanted meant she didn’t always consider how her actions affected other people.
And when we went back to visit her family in her small town, I found out that she had no friends there, having left everyone and everything behind when she moved on to ‘better things’.
But the biggest warning sign I ignored was that she loved to live her life in the spotlight.
The more attention, the better, and that’s never been my philosophy. ”
“You mentioned something like that at the restaurant in Sioux Falls,” Daley reminds me. “How she wouldn’t have liked it because of the privacy.”
I’m pleased she remembers what we talked about so clearly.
I’ve replayed every part of our conversation over in my head too.
“Exactly. We couldn’t just do things, we had to stage them.
Her ultimate dream was to be part of this reality show about the wives of professional athletes, but that’s my idea of hell on earth.
I told her no, in no uncertain terms, and we had a big fight about it.
Honestly, I think that’s when she gave up on us.
She realized we didn’t want the same things, but rather than just tell me that, she decided to secure her back-up plan first.”
My lips tighten as the familiar stab of betrayal jabs at my chest, but somehow, it doesn’t feel quite as strong tonight.
“How did you find out?” Daley asks softly, and I know that she’s not asking out of morbid curiosity like the dozens of reporters who’ve asked me that question for months. If I say I don’t want to talk about it, she’d let it drop without a second thought.
Maybe that’s why I decide to answer her when I’ve never told anyone else.
“A reporter asked me about it on the way into a game. Megan posted the video about an hour earlier and news was just starting to get out. I had no idea yet, so when he asked why my teammate was naked in my wife’s video, I thought he was joking.
I brushed it off and went inside, but when I got to the locker room, everyone went completely silent when I walked in.
Brice, our coach, called me out and showed me the video. ”
Daley’s eyebrows draw down, her face pinched in pained sympathy. “Was Brady there that night?”
“He was. Brice offered to give me the night off to cool down and process things, but I needed to play. I didn’t want anyone saying I couldn’t face him. I had nothing to be ashamed of.”
It’s easy to say now, after the fact, but the truth is, I spent that whole game on the verge of throwing up, bile rising in my throat every time I thought of the two of them together, in my own damn house.
Daley nods her agreement, shifting even closer to me. “Did the two of you attempt to work things out? You and Megan, I mean?”
I scoff at the idea. “There was nothing left to work out. She wanted out and I wouldn’t have been interested in trying to work through it anyway. Cheating is pretty much the worst thing a person can do, and I would never trust someone who could betray the person they claim to love like that.”
“So, you got divorced and Brady got traded?”
From the way she asks, I can tell she already knows this part, she’s just giving me an opportunity to share my perspective on it, and I nod in confirmation. “I told management either he had to go or I would. They chose him, and Megan took her divorce settlement and followed him out of town.”
“Do you miss her?”
The question makes me pause, just for a second, because when we talked about the early part of our relationship a few minutes ago, it made something clearer to me than it had been before.
“I miss the way she made me feel, but not necessarily her. I think she was never entirely the person I thought she was, or that I wanted her to be. Brady’s probably a better fit for her in the long run. They deserve each other.”
Daley’s smile is rueful. “He betrayed you too.”
“He did, but even if it hadn’t been my wife he cheated with, even if he did it to someone else, I still would have thought he was a piece of shit.
Cheaters are the lowest of the low, and that includes the person who knowingly goes after someone in a relationship.
I don’t want to be associated with anyone who would do that. ”
The passion in my words takes us both by surprise based on the way Daley blinks up at me after the words leave my mouth.
“Sorry. That’s obviously a bit of a sore spot for me.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who asked.” She gives me a smile that feels tighter and less genuine than before. “I need to get the salad ready. The lasagna won’t be too much longer. Feel free to watch some TV if you want, and if you need it, the bathroom’s just down the hall there.”
She points in the only possible direction it could be before hurrying back to the kitchen, leaving me on my own.