Chapter 51
~Daley~
Anthony’s head whips forward when I yank the door open a little too forcefully, my heart pounding against my ribs. You could have given me a thousand guesses as to who might ring my doorbell on a random Sunday evening, and this man never would have made the list.
I don’t bother with niceties, crossing my arms over my chest while Jane presses in closer to my back, ready to defend me if necessary.
“What do you want?”
The man at the door winces before straightening, clasping his hands behind his back just like he used to when lecturing. Beneath his now-gray eyebrows, familiar brown eyes stare back at me. River’s eyes.
“It really is you.” His gaze wanders over my face before not-so-subtly dropping down my body. “You look amazing, Daley. You’ve hardly aged at all.”
I can’t say the same for him, but what unsettles me more is hearing my name in his mouth. Once, I loved hearing him say it. In class, I was always Ms Adams. Only in private was I Daley, and it made me feel special every time.
Now, it makes my skin crawl.
“On a scale of one to 9-1-1, how concerned should I be right now?” Jane asks from over my shoulder. If I gave her the sign, she really would have the cops on their way within seconds.
“I know who he is,” I reassure her before fixing my gaze back on Anthony. “What I don’t know is why he’s here.”
His lips twist in disappointment, or maybe disapproval, I’m not sure. What I do know is that his approval couldn’t matter less to me. “I’d like to speak with you. Could I come in?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
I stand my ground, unmoving, while Anthony casts a wary glance down the street, as if someone might recognize him standing at my door. Besides his car, there’s only one other vehicle parked a few houses down. No one’s outside.
He’s not quite the celebrity he thinks he is.
“Please, Daley. There are things I need to say. Private things.”
I don’t think anyone’s eavesdropping, but given the newfound interest in me, a confrontation on my front step might not be wise. Against my better judgment, I step aside and let him in.
“Take a seat, but don’t get too comfortable,” I instruct, pointing him toward the living room. As soon as he moves away, Jane grabs my arm.
“Is that your dad?” she stage-whispers.
It’s not a ridiculous assumption given our age difference, the lack of warmth between us, and, most of all, the resemblance to River.
I shake my head and whisper back, “No. River’s dad.”
Her eyes go so wide they nearly bulge out of her head. “What?!”
She knows the bare minimum about Anthony, even less than Deacon does. I’ve made it clear he’s not part of my life and never will be, and she’s never pushed. I never imagined he would show up here, and I don’t have time to fill her in now.
My phone rings in my pocket but I ignore it. Not now.
Lowering my voice even further, I ask, “Is it weird if I ask you to stay for this?”
Jane shakes her head vehemently. “Not at all. I’m here for you. You know that.”
I do, and thank goodness for that. As the reality of Anthony’s presence sinks in, the alcohol I’ve been drinking all night starts to feel like a really bad idea. If I start talking too freely, she might have to rein me in.
The phone stops ringing as voicemail picks up, but almost immediately starts again. Frowning, I pull it from my pocket and see Deacon’s name on the screen. Rotten timing.
After promising to call him back, I take a deep breath, square my shoulders, and head into the living room to find out what the hell Anthony is doing here.
I find him not sitting but standing in front of the framed picture of me and River from the night of the draft, a wistful smile playing on his lips. For a moment, I try to imagine what it would be like to have a grown child I didn’t know at all, especially one as wonderful as my son.
It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for him.
Almost.
“He takes after you,” Anthony says, stepping back from the photo before taking a seat in an armchair. “Heaven knows I never had any athletic ability.”
I have no patience for whatever connection he’s trying to make. “What do you want?” I repeat as I sit down on the sofa, Jane next to me. “Why are you here?”
He crosses one thin leg over the other, still every inch the professor. “My granddaughter is a big Sioux Falls Wolves fan. At lunch yesterday, she was moping about her favorite player having a new girlfriend. Imagine my surprise when your name came up.”
The domestic scene he’s painting is probably meant to inspire warm, fuzzy feelings. Instead, my stomach twists. I don’t want to picture his family. I don’t want to think about him at all.
“How old is your granddaughter?” Jane pipes up from beside me. I haven’t introduced them, and I don’t intend to, despite the way that Anthony’s eyes flick curiously between us.
When I say nothing, he answers her. “Fifteen. Her interest in her celebrity crushes is… obsessive.”
Fifteen. He has a granddaughter only three years younger than River.
“I’m surprised you remember my name,” I interject coolly. “Since you’ve made no effort to contact me until now.”
He nods, as if expecting that rebuke. “I’ve been… well, a coward. Acknowledging you would have hurt my wife, and I didn’t want to put her through that.”
“But now you will?” I challenge. What changed other than River’s new million-dollar contract? Is he really that opportunistic?
“Susan passed away three months ago.”
Genuine pain colours those words, and in spite of myself, a touch of sympathy blooms in my chest. “I’m sorry.”
A brief smile tightens the loose skin around his mouth, as if he recognizes the absurdity of the situation. “Thank you. She was a wonderful woman, and as far as she knew, we had a perfect marriage. I was a better liar than she imagined.”
His self-awareness comes as a surprise, and while he’s in a confessing mood, I ask a question I’ve always wondered about. “I’m guessing I wasn’t your only indiscretion?”
Again, his mouth tightens, this time in a grimace. “No. But you were the only one that ended so… badly.”
“In a pregnancy, you mean.” No point in beating around the bush.
He gives a sharp, stiff nod. “Yes, but not only that. The way I responded to the situation left a lot to be desired. I was terrified of what would happen to my career and my marriage if anyone found out and I panicked. I didn’t think about you or the child at all, and the way it all unfolded has haunted me. ”
I scoff in disbelief, and he holds out his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“You have no reason to believe that, but it’s true. So many times, I thought about reaching out to see how you were. How he was. I kept an eye out for your name in the scientific journals, hoping you’d turn up, but you never did.”
“You threatened to blackball me,” I remind him. “You swore I’d never find work.”
“I did,” he agrees with another wince. “But I never followed through on it. I thought you would figure that out. You were a promising scientist, Daley. I’m sorry if my actions stopped you from pursuing the career you wanted.”
Useless words. Too little, too late, and I’d rather not dwell on it. “That’s all in the past. Why are you here now?”
His gaze flits back to the photo of me and River, and I know the answer before he says it. “I’d like to meet my son.”
“He is not your son,” Jane snaps from beside me. She’s been unusually quiet this whole time, but apparently, that was a step too far. “I’ve known that boy most of his life and you have never once come up. He doesn’t owe you anything.”
My hand finds her knee, squeezing gently to let her know it’s okay. She’s supposed to be keeping me calm, not the other way around.
She’s not wrong, though.
My answer is calmer, but the same. “River is an adult. If you want a relationship with him, that’s his decision. It has nothing to do with me.”
“I understand that,” Anthony says, though I’m not sure he does since he reaches into the inside pocket of his coat and pulls out an envelope. “All I’m asking is that you give him this.”
As if River doesn’t have enough to deal with his first week playing in the NHL, handling questions from the press about his mom dating his captain, now his long-lost father appears out of nowhere?
When I don’t immediately reach for the letter, Anthony’s head tilts to the side, his pleading eyes so like my son’s. “I’ve been reading about him since yesterday. I know that it’s just the two of you, but he has a whole family out there. Not just me, but a brother and sisters, nieces and nephews.”
“Including a niece who happens to be a big fan of his new team,” Jane mutters. “How convenient.”
Not for a second do I think Anthony’s motives are entirely pure, but in the end, it really is River’s choice. Pushing myself back to my feet, I take the letter from his hands. “Is that all?”
Taking the hint, Anthony also stands. His lined face still holds traces of the man I once thought the world of, but I don’t see anything admirable in him now. I only see a weak man who abused his position and abused my trust along with his wife’s.
How strange that someone as wonderful as River could share DNA with someone so pathetic.
And how clear it is to me now that what Deacon and I share is superior in every way to anything I ever felt for this man.
I’ve wasted enough time punishing myself for what went wrong. What I have with Deacon is real, and I’m not going to let life pass me by one moment more.
As soon as he’s out the door, I bid Jane good night too, grab my phone, and call Deacon back.