Chapter Thirteen
Mason
I wake up with a start, reaching out for Maria only to find an empty space beside me. I feel the sheets, and they’re cold. I don’t like this. I open my eyes and blink against the early morning light, noticing a note on her pillow. What the heck? A note? Something’s wrong. I grab it, feeling a strange sense of unease. I don’t like finding a note in place of her warm body.
Mason,
It’s been another amazing night, and I’m sorry to sneak off, but I already have plans with Nikki this weekend, and she’ll kill me if I bail on her. I’ll talk to you soon. Have an amazing weekend.
Love Maria
I’m dumbfounded as I read the note multiple times. Irritation soon pops up. I’ve always been the person to run as fast as possible when with a woman, but Maria and I have spent many nights together, and I’ve never had the urge to sneak away. She should’ve woken me. I feel slightly bad about the many times I’ve found excuses to slip away in the middle of the night. I wonder if I’ve left previous women feeling just how I am in this moment. I don’t like it.
I pick up my phone and stare at it for several moments wondering what I want to say. We’re a couple. There’s no doubt about it, but I’ve always despised clingy people and have even made fun of some of the guys for having to check in with their girlfriends every hour on the hour. Now, here I am, wanting to know what Maria’s weekend plans are, and wondering why I can’t join. What’s wrong with me? I’ll just text something short and sweet or I’ll obsess about it for hours. That won’t do either of us any good.
Mason: Missing you already. I don’t like waking to find you gone. Next time, set the alarm an hour earlier so I can send you off satisfied.
I hit send . . . then wait. Nothing comes back to me. There are no little dots letting me know she’s read the message, no dots letting me know she’s replying. I stare at my phone for about three minutes before I realize I’m acting like a teenage girl and force myself to close out my text app. This is getting ridiculous.
I get up, take a shower, then dress. I come back to my phone. Nothing. It doesn’t even look like she’s read the message. It takes all I have not to send her a new one. This is absurd. I toss my phone down. About ten minutes later, I pick it back up and message the guys. I don’t want to sit here alone and stew all day. It’ll drive me crazy.
A few of my friends reply, and are more than willing to come over for a BBQ. I purposely leave my phone at home while I run to the store. It takes me about an hour. When I come back home, I can’t help but grab my phone again. Nothing. It’s been hours now. This is ridiculous. She could shoot me a quick message telling me she’s okay. I’d do that for her. What if she’s hurt? No one leaves their phones alone in this day and age. How hard is it for her to shoot me a quick message that tells me she’s fine . . . and maybe misses me too? Oh, holy hell, I’m a mess. This needs to stop right here and now. It doesn’t though.
Is this a game she’s playing? She hasn’t played games before. Maybe she’s hurt and needs me to find her. I shake my head. It’s most likely that she’s somewhere without reception. Or maybe the two of them are having a no-phone weekend. I’ve heard some people do that. I think it’s absurd as emergencies arise and we have the technology to keep in contact with those we care about.
I still have no messages from her when my buddies arrive. I’m in a damn foul mood, and trying to hide it. The men will endlessly rib me if they see me in this state and know why. I’d deserve it too with all of the crap I’ve flicked them over the years concerning women. What goes around comes around. I guess it’s my turn.
“Are you ready to grill some steaks?” Nathan calls out as he and the guys walk into my backyard. It’s barely noon and I already have a beer in my hand.
“Yep, sounds great,” I say, plastering on a fake smile. I need to shake this off.
We fire up the grill, crack open more beers, and everyone, except for me, is in a great mood. The smell of sizzling meat fills the air, but my mind’s not here with the guys, it’s continuously drifting back to Maria. No matter how many times I tell myself not to, I keep checking my phone . . . all without getting a message from her. I don’t send another one, even though I worry that maybe the first one didn’t go through. Even if it didn’t, that doesn’t stop her from reaching out to me. She’s the one who snuck out of my bed, after all.
“What’s going on with you?” Kevin finally asks, clearly seeing I’m not myself.
“Nothing at all,” I say, shrugging.
“Then why are you staring at your phone like you’re a middle school girl?” he pushes.
“I’m expecting to hear from someone,” I say, trying to sound like it’s no big deal.
“Are you being ghosted?” Tom asks, looking far too delighted by the idea of this.
“No!” I say a bit too gruffly.
“I think the player has finally met his match,” Nathan says. “I hope he doesn’t lose her cause she’s fun.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Maria and I,” I practically shout. At least I don’t think there’s anything wrong. I’d know for sure if the dang woman would send me a message.
“I think the tone of your voice says differently. What happened?” Kevin asks.
“Seriously, dude, it seems Maria has you tied up in knots.”
I let out a sigh. “She’s off on a weekend and I can’t get ahold of her. I’m just worried, that’s all.” I have no choice but to give them this much. It’s clear I’m not myself.
“She ran out on you?” Nathan says, again seeming pleased.
“She didn’t run out on me,” I practically growl.
“Damn! What a change. Aren’t you the one normally running away?” Tom asks.
I roll my eyes at all of them wondering why in the world I invited them over. This isn’t helping to improve my mood. As much as I want to check my phone, I refuse to pick it up again with all of them staring at me.
“We don’t need to spend every day together. We both have lives,” I insist.
“Maybe she’s currently having a life with Fabio right now on a tropical beach,” Nathan says.
I glare at him. I’ll pummel another man if he dares try to get to her. “She’s with Nikki. They’re fine.”
“I never thought I’d see the day you were a taken man, but it’s come. I wish we would’ve been taking bets on it,” Tom says.
“Seriously, I would’ve lost though. I’d have said at least another five years. Once burned and all,” Kevin says.
“I wasn’t exactly burned. We grew apart, and that ended up being a great thing. Sure, she admitted to cheating, but I didn’t know that until the very end, and by then it was already over. I just didn’t know it yet,” I tell them, speaking about the woman I was going to ask to marry me. “Besides, you can’t take what someone doesn’t choose to give.” These words ring hollow in my own head. I am taken, and I’m not unhappy about it.
“Keep telling yourself this,” Nathan says, raising his beer in a mock toast. “We all know the truth. To the cute couple and Mason’s misery.”
“Here, here,” Tom and Kevin say.
I scowl at all of them, but I take a deep swig of my beer. The guys continue to tease me, but their words hit a bit too close to home. I’m acting like a maniac and it’s not reassuring. It’s just that I love being with Maria, and with our busy work schedules our time’s limited. That’s why I’m upset about this. We didn’t talk about spending the weekend together, but I’ve pretty much marked all of my weekends out for her.
“What are your next steps?” Kevin asks as he attends the grill. Normally the smell of a good BBQ has my mouth watering. Today isn’t that day.
“What do you mean?” I reply, only half tuned into the conversation.
“What are your plans with Maria. Are you going to keep playing it cool, or are you going to let her know how hard you’re falling for her?” Kevin pushes.
I shrug as if it doesn’t matter. “I don’t know. It’s still early in our relationship.”
“Doesn’t matter if it’s early. When I met Gina I knew within a week I wasn’t ever letting her go. Ten years later and I love her even more today than I did then. When you know, you know,” Tom says.
“That’s the exception to the rule. We all know the first months of a relationship are filled with hormones. How often does it last beyond that?” I ask.
“Often enough to have billions of people in the world,” Nathan says.
“You don’t need to be in love to make babies,” I point out.
“No, but there are still a lot of happy marriages out there. My thought is that if you’re with a person who makes you like yourself more, and makes you want to be a better person, then you don’t let that person get away. I like how you’ve been since meeting Maria. Sure, it’s soon, but there’s something almost magical in meeting the right one. When it’s meant to be nothing can stand in your way,” Tom says.
“When did you get so damn mushy?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I guess we’re all growing up. We might have been asses in our early twenties, and we’ve all done some things we aren’t proud of, but that doesn’t mean we can’t change,” Tom says.
“Yeah, you’re a great guy, Mason. I know that ex of yours was a piece of work, but to be serious for a very brief moment, you’re a catch. Be yourself and I think this will all work out beautifully. Hell, I love weddings. I’m ready to attend another one,” Kevin says.
“Well then why in the hell won’t she text me back?” I grumble. I’m regretting the words as soon as they come out. I don’t want these guys to know how irritated I am that I can’t get ahold of her. It makes me seem far too clingy. They know me well, and know I’m the one who’s most vocal when a woman is bugging me when I’m with my friends. My, how the tables have turned.
The guys laugh and I finally shake my head as I join them. There’s no doubt I’m acting ridiculous. As much as their teasing might annoy me, they’re right. Maria’s thrown me off my game, but in far more good ways than bad. I need to pull my head out of my ass.
They finally lay off of me and we finish our meal. We eat, then move inside to play a game, or ten, of pool. Each one of us is competitive so we like to play anything that involves a winner and losers at the end.
Kevin racks the balls while Tom chalks his cue stick. “Ready to get your ass handed to you?” Tom taunts.
“In your dreams,” I shoot back, forcing myself to focus on the game and not my phone.
We take turns, the clacking of pool balls and the guys’ laughter filling the room. My mood improves dramatically. Playing is a good distraction for me. My mind doesn’t drift too far from Maria for long, but I’m not going to pathetically sit in some corner and sulk either.
The afternoon turns to evening as we continue to play, eat, and drink far too much. We joke about everything under the sun. While there’s always a lot of ribbing between us, these men mean just as much to me as my brother does. We’re family. We play hard, sweat together, and have each other’s backs. It’s the way it’s supposed to be with friendship.
“Remember that time in college when you swore off all relationships?” Nathan asks of Tom. They roomed together then were lucky enough to end up on the same pro team.
“I love this story because now you’re married with two kids,” Kevin says.
“Based off of that pattern, Mason should be expecting a kid soon,” Tom teases me. “Didn’t you swear off all women, too?”
“Yep, five years ago I swore to never get serious again,” I admit.
“How’s that working out for you?” Before I can reply, Nathan jumps in.
“Well, he’s checking his phone every ten minutes even if he thinks he’s doing it discretely, so I don’t think he’s doing too well at swearing anything off.”
“It’s not every ten minutes,” I grumble. I need a hell of a lot more beer for this amount of ribbing.
“Okay,” the men say. They’re far from agreeing with me, but they know I’m not going to share more. As the sun begins to set, and the guys finally head out, I check my phone again, telling myself I’m doing it for the last time this entire weekend. I’m disappointed when there still isn’t a message from Maria. I let out a heavy sigh, feeling a mixture of frustration and worry.
I realize the bottom line is that I might be utterly wrong about no one owning me. Because right now in this moment Maria has a pretty strong hold over me. I’m not even worried about that part of it. I’m worried about her in general.
I finally go to bed where I toss and turn. It takes a while, but I do fall asleep assuring myself I’ll feel different the next day. It will all be okay. This is just one more day in my life. With this thought, I shut down my brain and refuse to dwell on it a single moment longer.