Chapter 5
Five
“ K nock, knock,” a male voice said, lifting Lauren out of her deep thoughts as she sat at a table, her untouched Nutella banana bread in front of her.
The scent had been all she needed. It smelled like her mom and home and safety and love and comfort and everything she didn’t have in her marriage or her life right now.
She just wanted to sit at the table, lost in her memories, soaking in the scent.
But her head turned toward the door. This wasn’t someone she recognized at all.
It was a man, about her age, maybe slightly older, but still mid-thirties.
He had a short, military-type haircut and a couple of days’ growth of beard on his face, but it didn’t hide the square jaw that jutted out under intelligent, inquisitive, and aware blue eyes.
Those eyes scanned the bakery as though he were scoping out a sniper nest in Afghanistan or some other war-torn country.
He walked with that smooth, catlike grace that reminded her of military too.
His clothes didn’t really say much, other than casual, with worn blue jeans that looked like they were older than she was and a T-shirt that fit snugly around a chest that spent a lot of time in the weight room.
She blinked. She hadn’t realized there were actual men like this walking the streets. She thought they were only found in romance novels.
“Hello?” she said, and then she shook her head. “I’m not actually open. I’m sorry if the smell drew you in.”
“It did. You must be piping scent into the outdoors or something, because I was taking my daily walk to the beach, and…I kind of felt a little bit like the children following the Pied Piper. There wasn’t anything I could do but turn in here.”
He was charming too. With a dimple she could see through the scruff when he smiled. Straight white teeth. An easygoing way about him, despite the awareness in his eyes.
This was a man she should feel safe with.
Of course, she felt safe with her husband too. He just…wasn’t that interested in her.
“I’m sorry. I guess the least I can do is offer you a loaf to take with you.
” She stood, knowing she had one entire loaf that she hadn’t cut, and she definitely wasn’t going to eat it before it spoiled.
She hadn’t even taken a bite of the first one.
Although she could tell that it would taste really good.
She had cooked it to perfection, just like her mom and just like she expected of herself.
“You aren’t going to have to twist my arm in order to get me to take it. But I’m opening a bookstore next door, and in return, I can offer you one free book. You look like…a thriller reader.”
She laughed. “Good guess. Considering that thrillers are the number one seller in America. But no. I’m more romance, or maybe women’s fiction.
” She had never been able to get into thrillers.
They were too scary, and after reading them, she couldn’t sleep.
She couldn’t understand how others could read that kind of stuff and still live with themselves.
“Romance was my next guess. Mostly because it’s the number two genre in the US. You’re right. I was playing averages.”
She nodded. “I figured.”
She had gone behind the counter, leaving it open, but he didn’t follow her. She didn’t really expect him to. Customers never did. It was just the people who were familiar, close, friends.
“Give me a second, I’ll wrap this up for you.” She used a knife to gently cut around the banana bread pan, loosening it from the sides, and then she turned it upside down on top of the freshly cleaned counter.
It came out perfectly. Then she grabbed some plastic wrap from the drawer. It was right where it was supposed to be, like it had been just yesterday that her mom had closed the shop and gone with her back to Cincinnati.
She remembered that day like it was yesterday, but it had been almost five years ago.
“Boy, after this I might owe you two books.”
“You don’t really look like a bookseller to me,” she said casually, wondering what a guy like that was doing opening a bookstore.
“My uncle owned the gaming store. I don’t know if you grew up in this town, but you might remember it.”
“Yeah. It was video games, TVs, and radios. I remember it well.” It was a little outdated even when she had been young, but Butch Connolly, the guy who owned it, had made it work.
“Yeah. I guess it was an electronics store or something. I wasn’t here much. But he left it to me in his will.”
“And you’re not an electronics guy? Somehow I have trouble believing that.” She looked him over again. He definitely looked like he knew how to wiretap telephones and use all kinds of specialized communication hardware.
“I used to be. But gaming is addictive to me, and I better not own a store with games in it. I would end up spending all my time playing and not selling. Books are safer.” He winked at her.
Was he flirting? She wasn’t quite sure. She was in her mid-thirties and hadn’t thought about flirting for more than a decade. She ignored it. It was better to assume he wasn’t. Maybe he had something in his eye.
“I guess it’s kind of like me opening a baked goods store.
I am afraid I might eat my profits and come down with some dread disease—heart disease, diabetes, cancer.
Something from all the stuff I make.” She supposed that’s what happened to her mom.
Although her mom had never been extra heavy.
She had just been…pleasantly plump. That’s how Lauren looked at her anyway.
She supposed that in today’s medical models, her mom would have been obese. She was sliding toward that herself .
Maybe that’s why Cannon never paid much attention to her. She was less appealing to him than she was when she was younger and thinner.
“I hope that doesn’t change your mind. I wouldn’t mind having a baked goods store right next door to me. Plus, you could sell healthy stuff too.”
“Like smoothies and yogurt parfaits?” She smiled.
The store just wouldn’t be the same. But she supposed she could sell them on the side.
That would be the downside of having a baked goods store.
She wouldn’t really be helping people, although…
Was there something to be said for food that warmed the stomach and the heart? Even if it wasn’t good for the heart?
She had to think on that. Maybe it was more of a moral issue than she realized. Maybe she should just go back to her husband. And leave this town, these memories, and this intriguing man behind.
She finished wrapping up the banana bread, and walking back, she stayed on her side of the counter, handing it over.
For some reason, she thought it might be a good idea to keep some distance between her and this man.
Not that she was exceptionally attracted or even interested in him.
He just seemed like a dangerous type. Plus, she might have left her husband, but she was still good and solidly married.
She was thankful she hadn’t left her wedding rings behind.
She assumed that Cannon would file for divorce, and she would go along with it.
But she wasn’t taking her rings off until it was time.
“Thanks. That was awfully kind of you. I promise I won’t come over looking for handouts all the time.”
The man was charming, but he didn’t seem like much of a people person either.
“You don’t need to promise. I’m not worried about it.
I…haven’t decided whether I’m going to open the shop or not.
” She paused for a moment, and then she said, “My mom used to own it. There are a lot of memories here for me.”
He nodded, acknowledging her words. “I guess that’ll be a hard decision.”
He didn’t seem overly interested in what she had to say. She supposed that was a typical man. Focused on whatever had their attention and whatever they were trying to accomplish. Anything else was just noise.
She didn’t mean to lump all men into that category, but maybe she was expecting too much of her husband.
Maybe men didn’t sit around with their arms around their wives comforting them when they needed it.
Maybe that was just something from a romance novel.
Maybe she should have been content where she was.
Honestly, this man made her a little uncomfortable.
“Come over anytime. I’m still stocking the shelves. I lucked out and bought out a used bookstore online for a little bit of nothing. The books are being shipped in boxes, and I think they’ve mostly arrived.”
“All right. I guess if any get misdirected this way, I’ll know where to take them.”
“Be sure to send some of your banana bread over with them.”
“I’ll do that,” she said, giving him a smile, because he’d been kind to her, before he walked out.
She waited until he walked down the street before she walked over to the door and locked it.
Then she walked through the bakery, out the back, and sat down on the back step, looking at the peach trees where the little green fruit were growing under the drooping branches.
Grace had said this was one of her favorite spots when she was growing up, and Lauren had to agree. It was one of hers too. There were so many memories here. So many good times. So much fun with her mom.
Sure, there were times where she wished she would have had a dad, but her mom had said that she had gotten pregnant, and her boyfriend wanted her to have an abortion, while her mom had wanted to get married.
They hadn’t gotten married, but she hadn’t gotten an abortion either, and her mom had moved out of town because it was a small town, and she didn’t want to embarrass her family.
Growing up, from what she’d heard of her grandfather and grandmother, she didn’t think that they were the kind of people who would have been embarrassed or at least who would have been upset and kicked their daughter out.
But sometimes people got older and mellowed out.
Regardless, they lived just south of Milwaukee, and Lauren only saw them once or twice a year.
It was hard to know someone when you only saw them once or twice a year. They had passed away, and her mom had grieved but had continued making ends meet.
In hindsight, Lauren admired that. How she could lose people in her life and just continue on with her life, like…like it didn’t throw her through a major loop.
Well, that was one of the ways she and her mom were different.
Although she didn’t really have any direction in her life to continue on with.
She was just drifting, so far from the husband she barely saw.
Her purpose had been taking care of her mom.
When that had ended, she didn’t really know what to do with herself.
Go back to teaching? She didn’t really want to.
She had enjoyed it but hadn’t loved it the way she loved baking.
She breathed deep of the fresh lake air. She missed this. Cincinnati didn’t smell the same at all and didn’t feel the same either. Coming here had been the right thing to do.
Her phone buzzed, and she saw that her husband had texted her again.
His texts had started out casual, not panicked after he’d seen her note.
Lauren, when are you coming home? I want to talk about this. That had been one of the first ones.
And then he sounded irritated.
Lauren. Am I really going to have to take off work and come get you? Plus, how do I know you’re okay? At least let me know you’re okay.
At that point, she realized that she could have been abducted by someone and being held for ransom, and he wouldn’t know.
And then, the one that just came in.
Lauren, I’m on my way to my sister’s house. If you’re not there, you can save me some time and let me know where you are.
He was going to look for her? He was leaving his precious business?
She looked at the time. It was three o’clock in the afternoon.
Maybe he wasn’t leaving his business, but he was definitely taking off early, which he never did.
Well, he’d needed to take off early so he could go to her mom’s funeral.
He had tried to talk her into having it in the evening, but the best time had been in the afternoon so people could come and get back home if they wanted to.
Plus, they were going to have a little graveside service, and she didn’t want that to happen in the dark.
She had won, she supposed, although there really hadn’t been an argument. He had capitulated pretty easily, although it had been obvious that he hadn’t been happy about it, and she had seen him on his phone two or three times during the service.
She had been standing by the casket. He had stood in the back, until it was time to sit down. Then he had come and sat beside her.
She hadn’t really felt like he was supporting her. She had felt like he was just there and couldn’t wait to leave.
Still, he had driven her to the graveside service and stood beside her during it.
He had also helped make the arrangements. Which she should be thankful for.
She really hadn’t been in any condition to do it, and she probably would have screwed it up anyway. As it was, he got a really good deal on the funeral. Or at least, that’s what she understood from talking to other people, because they paid about half as much as what normal people paid.
But that was one of Cannon’s fortes—he was good at knowing business owners, and he had a few who owed him favors.
She would never have thought that having a funeral director on one’s list of people who owed one favors would be a good thing, but it turned out to be not bad, she supposed.
Still, she didn’t care how much it cost. She had to bury her mom somehow .
A breeze shifted the trees overhead, and it was almost like her mom was beside her again. Or maybe waiting in the branches.
She missed her so much. Before she knew it, she was crying, hot tears streaming down her face, an empty feeling in her stomach, and a desperation to see her mom one more time and be able to talk to her almost driving her to the ground.
Why? Why her? Why couldn’t someone else lose their mom? Why did it have to be her?
But she knew the answer to that question, or rather, maybe a better question to ask would be, why not her? Why did she think she was special and shouldn’t have to lose her mom?
She didn’t have any answers.