Chapter 19 #2
“Same. I could have insisted that we wear life vests. I could have insisted that we turn around sooner. I could have done a lot of different things, and I felt guilty about that for years. But the fact of the matter is, it doesn’t really matter what I would have insisted on.
If the Lord willed it, it didn’t matter.
Because God is stronger than anything I can do.
And He’s not dependent on me doing something in order to have something else happen.
He can control the wind and the waves. Obviously. ”
“And that was a rogue wave. I don’t know if we ever talked about it, but it came up out of nowhere. There was a storm coming in, but that wave was…”
“It was different than any of the other ones. And I’m not saying it was sent exactly by God, but He could have controlled it. We know He could have.”
Lauren looked at her two friends. She didn’t realize that they had been carrying around guilt all these years too.
She wished she would have talked to them a long time ago.
They all felt bad. They all blamed themselves.
And there really wasn’t any reason for them to do that.
Even if they were wrong, there was nothing they could do to bring Yolanda back.
The past was the past, and it was done. Finished.
And it couldn’t be changed. She just had to move forward, hopefully learning from her mistakes and trying not to make the same ones again.
She could do the same thing in her marriage. She did feel bad for leaving her husband. But maybe she could learn from that mistake, like her friends had suggested, and not make the same mistake again.
“Not to change the subject, but I kind of wish that I would have thought about buying the inn. I didn’t even realize it was for sale.”
“I’m pretty sure it was sold, but I don’t know who bought it. But maybe they’ll sell it again.”
“The last time I looked, I wasn’t sure what I was looking at could be saved.”
“I happen to be married to someone who’s pretty good with his hands,” Grace said.
“I suppose you and Trevor together could have done something with it. But…it’s going to take a lot of money. ”
“You’d only have to get one or two rooms ready, and you could rent those out while you worked on fixing the rest of it.”
“I think you’d need to get the outside done so that people who look at it don’t think the whole thing is going to fall down around their heads.”
“If I remember correctly, there were almost solid walls of windows, and it was kind of up on a hill so it had a gorgeous view of the lake. And the sunset over the lake. And…wasn’t there a restaurant or something attached to it?
And…it was just very romantic.” Lauren tried to remember.
She hadn’t been there much before it closed down back when she was a kid.
“We didn’t have a lot of money, and I don’t remember ever going there.”
“We didn’t have a whole lot either, but it was one of the only places in town where you could get food, and when my mom had a day off, she never felt like cooking.”
“One of the drawbacks of owning a bakery. You don’t like to cook for yourself. Like a cleaning business owner, right?” Grace laughed.
The others joined in, and they talked about light things, easy things, things that friends talked about. And then, Lauren remembered about the dog.
“Have either of you heard of anyone missing their dog?”
“I don’t think so,” Claire said, glancing at Grace.
“No one mentioned it at Bible study today. I would have thought that that would be a good place for someone to ask, if they were looking.”
“I have a stray dog coming around the back of the bakery, and it seems like she’s pregnant. I’m not an expert on dogs or anything, but she seems close.”
“You always liked animals. And babies especially,” Grace said, and Lauren thought about the kittens.
It was true. She was always taking in one stray or another and enjoying it.
Of course, when she had a roomful of puppies, she was taking on the responsibility for trying to find them homes.
Maybe she wouldn’t be able to do that. Maybe it would be best if the dog never did learn to trust her.
But they’d gotten dog food today at the grocery store, and she was going to give it her best effort.
“All right. I suppose I better get up and get back to my husband and children.” Claire stood, and the others followed suit.
“Is your ex-husband really not wanting them at all?” Grace asked as they moved to walk back down the trail.
“Nope. He had them for two weeks, and he basically called begging me to take them back. He said he’d see them at Christmas. And I was fine with that. In fact, it made my summer.”
“There are so many fun things to do with kids beside the lake,” Lauren said.
“And we are pretty much trying to do them all. I’m remodeling the kitchen and painting the outside of the house. It’s definitely a full summer.”
“I think it’s important to stay busy. And keeping kids occupied is a good way to keep them out of trouble.
” Lauren believed that to be true. It was what her mom always said.
That’s why she had worked in the bakery after school.
But she never really thought of it as a job.
Because her mom gave her lots of leeway to be creative, and she was allowed to experiment with different things.
That was how she got so good at making Nutella banana bread and the cheese bread which was her signature.
Her mom had definitely encouraged her creativity while gently guiding her away from things that were not good for her.
They stopped at the gate and embraced.
“Thanks for meeting. We’ll see you next week, same time?” Lauren said, realizing they hadn’t really settled that.
“If not before then, that sounds good to me,” Grace said, and Claire agreed.
“I can pretty much make any time, as long as I know ahead of time, so I can make sure that the kids are good.”
Lauren felt light and happy as she walked down the sidewalk. Maybe things were going to work out after all.