Chapter Five #2
She touched herself tentatively at first, hesitating only due to the acute awareness that everyone was watching her.
Tem had been watched before, but this felt different from the ritual.
Back then, Bastian had been involved, and she’d had a clear task to complete—one that Caspen had taught her to do.
But this time felt more nebulous. This time the approval being sought was her own.
The couple was enamored with each other, and Tem was enamored too.
She synced her motions to theirs, fingering herself in gentle, forgiving strokes, pretending that she was the only one in the room.
Her basilisk side was turned on. But her human side couldn’t comprehend that the couple was having sex for her.
Every time she thought about it too hard, her throat tightened and her heart sped up.
She glanced around the crowd for a distraction. To her surprise, she found one. Apollo.
Everyone was watching the couple. But Caspen’s brother was watching her.
When their eyes met, Apollo’s mind brushed against hers, and Tem fought the urge to recoil.
She didn’t let him in. She couldn’t. Instead she threw up a barrier—the same one she’d used against Caspen—to keep him out.
His gaze dug into her like a knife, hot and insistent, unrelenting in its intensity.
He wasn’t touching himself—no one was—that act was reserved for the Serpent Queen.
But his cock was hard, and without thinking, Tem’s eyes trailed down his body to look at it.
It looked so much like Bastian’s. The resemblance was uncanny. Like father, like son.
With a gasp of surprise, Tem came.
The moment it happened, the crowd erupted into cheers. Caspen picked her up by the waist and spun her around before setting her down and kissing her straight on the mouth. Tem kissed him back, squeezing her eyes shut tight, willing herself to forget what she’d just seen.
The couple was beaming; it was clear they were overjoyed by her blessing. Only Tem knew the truth: that the couple had not made her come at all.
“Now what?” she asked, still breathless.
Caspen smiled. “Now we celebrate.”
Celebrating, of course, meant sex.
Everyone around them was already doing it; the crowd was breaking off into pairs and groups, their bodies overlapping in an endless wave of skin.
Caspen pushed her down on the mattress, and Tem wrapped her legs around him.
She knew many were still watching, and she knew she didn’t care.
She might even have preferred it at this point.
Her basilisk side was alive and well, filled with the communal joy that her blessing had brought to the couple.
Caspen spread her legs, but she stopped him before he could enter her.
“Wait,” Tem said.
He paused. “What is the matter, Tem?”
“I…” Tem began. She looked up at him, and her throat seemed to close.
At her expression, Caspen took her face in his, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Talk to me,” he murmured.
For some reason, tears pricked her eyes. “Am I good enough?”
Caspen frowned. “Good enough at what?”
“This. Everything. You.”
His frown deepened. “Me?”
“Yes. One day I’m nobody and then suddenly I’m queen of the basilisks. It’s…too much.”
“Tem.” Caspen pulled her closer. “You have nothing to fear. You are doing beautifully.”
“How can you say that? I can’t transition without help. And even then I can barely—”
“Tem,” he cut her off again, pressing his forehead to hers. “Enough.”
She stared into his golden eyes, trying to understand the fondness in them. “How can you always think the best of me?”
“Because you are the best of me,” he said simply.
His words floored her. It was impossible to believe that she could make a centuries-old creature better.
“You are more than good enough,” he murmured against her cheek. “You are perfect.”
Tem smiled. Caspen smiled too, pulling her closer.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Unmistakable approval lit up his face. He kissed her on the lips.
Caspen thrust into her relentlessly, and she took him deeper and deeper.
He was right; they did look better. Tem knew it by the way basilisks watched them enviously, as if they yearned to step up and join them.
But for now, they belonged only to each other.
There was no daylight in the courtyard—no way to know how much time had passed in the endless tangle of limbs and liquids and frenzied breathing.
They lay on the mattress between climaxes, draped in each other’s arms, the celebration raging around them.
“I can’t believe this is what your life is like,” she whispered against his skin.
“It was not nearly so enjoyable before you arrived.”
Tem giggled. She looked out over the basilisks. “How late will it go on?”
“Quite late.”
At the look on her face, Caspen said, “We can take a break, if you need one.”
Tem hated to admit that she did. It was all too much—the bodies, the moans, the movement. She didn’t want Caspen to think she couldn’t handle it. But the truth was that she couldn’t.
Come, Tem. We will rest.
His hand found her waist, lifting her up off the mattress.
Tem knew it was not in Caspen’s nature to take a break.
But she appreciated that he did so for her, leading her to a quiet spot at the edge of the courtyard.
They looked out over the chaos together.
All around them, basilisks were kissing and laughing and having sex.
Tem couldn’t help but think about how much Gabriel would love this.
“Caspen?”
“Yes, my love?”
“How old are you?”
He bristled. “I do not think my age is relevant.”
“Well, I do.”
“I am older than you.”
“I’d already guessed that, actually.”
He didn’t reply.
“Tell me.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you are too eager to know.”
Tem didn’t have the energy to push him. Instead she moved the conversation to their minds:
I like Adelaide.
Do you?
Yes. She’s a girl’s girl.
I do not know what that means.
It means she would choose me over you.
His arms tightened. Who could blame her?
And I would choose her over you.
She felt him smile. Is that right?
Yes.
Should I be insulted?
It’s a compliment to her, not an insult to you.
In that case, I will allow it.
It’s not up to you to allow. But good to know.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Tem continued: Adelaide said you used to be insufferable before me.
Is that so? How kind of her.
She said it with love.
I very much doubt that.
She also said you had a big ego.
Now that…might be true.
Tem was getting sleepy. Caspen seemed to sense this, because he said, “We do not have to stay.”
“Are you sure?” The last thing she wanted was to leave early, especially if it might cause insult.
“Yes.”
“I don’t want to offend anyone.”
“You have done the opposite of that tonight, Tem.” He kissed her temple. “You did well. They will all be pleased.”
Tem smiled at his words. It was all she wanted, really—to please the basilisks, to please Caspen, to please herself. If pleasure was at the forefront of basilisk culture, then what could be a nobler goal?
I’m ready to go.
Very well. Let us go.
He lifted her into his arms. It was only once they returned to their chambers and Tem collapsed onto the bed that she realized how exhausted she was. She dearly wished to sleep. But there was something on her mind. “Caspen,” she said quietly. “How did your mother die?”
He shifted her in his arms but didn’t answer.
When the pause drew on, Tem leaned in close. “You never talk about her. Why?”
The last time Caspen had withheld information about a death, she’d learned he’d crested Rowe’s father. It stood to reason she was slightly anxious for his answer. Caspen was silent for a long time. Tem was used to waiting him out, and she did so now.
Eventually, he answered. “She died right before my father came into power.” His tone was matter of fact. Removed.
Tem contemplated the significance of that timing. “But how did she die?”
Caspen sighed, and Tem watched the sharp rise and fall of his chest. “My father killed her.”
Tem sat up straight. “What? Why?”
Caspen sat up too, and they looked at each other in the flickering firelight. “She betrayed him.”
“How?”
“She slept with another.”
Tem frowned. “But I thought that basilisks don’t consider sex to be cheating.”
“We do not consider meaningless sex to be cheating. But my mother was in love with the basilisk she slept with.”
Tem’s father’s words returned to her suddenly: It is a dangerous thing to love two people. You must prepare yourself.
“Basilisks may be free with their bodies, but we are not free with our hearts,” Caspen said quietly, repeating what her father had told her.
“If you are bound to someone by blood, it means you have committed your heart to them. By falling in love with someone other than my father, my mother betrayed that bond. By sleeping with that person, she broke it.”
A horrible feeling was forming in Tem’s gut.
Caspen continued: “When they slept together, he retaliated by killing her.”
Tem stared at him in shock.
“I saw it myself.”
“But how could he do that?”
“He did not have a choice.”
“I don’t understand.”
Caspen shifted, propping himself up on his arm and looking down at her.
For some reason, dread pierced her. “There is nothing more sacred than the blood bond,” Caspen continued.
“It is our greatest tenet. Blood bonds are done in honor of true love—in the name of Kora. They are bound by magic bigger than us.”
Tem remembered how Caspen had described the blood bond to her: It is an ancient magic, and it is irreversible.
The dread intensified.
“If the blood bond is broken, a curse is put into effect.”
“What curse?”
“Whoever was betrayed must kill the betrayer. My father did not want to kill my mother. But he had to. The blood bond forced him to.”
Tem was in awe. It was a horrible thing to hear. She couldn’t imagine what that must have done to Caspen’s family. She felt a sudden surge of sympathy for Bastian but quickly suppressed it. She would not pity such a man.
“Couldn’t your father resist?”
Caspen shook his head. “It is impossible to resist such magic. Blood bonds are sanctioned by Kora—just like the ritual, or any of our other traditions. He was bound by a magic greater than himself.”
“But if your mother knew what would happen, why would she sleep with the other man she loved?”
To her surprise, Caspen smiled. “Would you be able to resist sleeping with me?”
Tem would not. But Caspen was not the one she had to resist sleeping with.
What he had just told her was horrific. She couldn’t imagine a worse scenario than his father killing his mother. And to witness it himself was unthinkable.
“Why didn’t your mother just keep it a secret?”
“She tried. But the curse was triggered the moment she slept with her lover. The curse told my father.”
Tightness. It was all Tem felt. Encroaching on her chest, squeezing her lungs.
“We cannot lie,” Caspen whispered. “There are no secrets between basilisks.”
“But doesn’t it…bother you?”
Caspen sighed deeply. “Of course it bothers me, Tem. It is a horrible stain on my family. But in basilisk society, my mother is the one who was in the wrong. My father was merely enacting justice.”
“But that’s…”
There were no words for it, really. It was awful. And terrifying. And a little too close to Tem’s situation for her liking.
“Aren’t you…worried about…me?”
Caspen looked down at her. “And why would I worry about you?”
Tem rolled her shoulders uncomfortably. “Because of…everything that happened…with…”
For some reason, she couldn’t bear to say Leo’s name.
Caspen let out a dismissive laugh. “No. I am not worried.”
It was then that she remembered Caspen’s attitude toward Leo—how he never called him by his name, only referring to him as “the human prince”—how he didn’t consider Leo to be his equal.
Tem and Caspen had a blood bond, a connection Leo couldn’t hope to replicate.
Caspen probably thought that was proof enough of her loyalty.
It was a viewpoint that was understandable, given the basilisk mindset. But it was wrong.
“But why not?” Tem asked before she could help herself.
“Because you sent him away.”
That was true. But it didn’t mean she’d fallen out of love with him.
“You accepted the blood bond,” Caspen continued. “That means you chose me.”
That phrase again. You chose me.
“But,” Tem said carefully, “I love you both.”
It was the same thing she’d said in the cave the night they’d agreed to share her.
But now Tem wondered whether either of them had really agreed at all.
What would that arrangement have even looked like?
She couldn’t have been queen of both kingdoms. It was a problem without a solution—one that she had solved in the only way she knew how—by sending Leo off to find Evelyn.
Caspen’s eyes narrowed. The room seemed to grow colder as he said, “You love me.”
Tem could barely hold his gaze. It felt like he was giving her an order. It was true that she loved him. But she loved Leo too, no matter how unfathomable that was to Caspen. There was nothing else to say, so Tem didn’t say anything. But in the late hours of the night, she lay awake.
What would happen if Tem slept with Leo?
Would Caspen kill her? Would his family praise him for doing so?
She touched the golden chain around her neck.
It had always felt like a gift, something that bound her to Caspen.
But now it felt like an anchor—a shackle with no key.
Tem couldn’t believe the cruelty of the curse.
It seemed to go against everything basilisk culture had taught her: that everything was shared.
Everything except for hearts. Caspen’s mother hadn’t been able to resist hers.
Could Tem?