Chapter Thirteen
Sunday came quicker than Tem would have liked.
The castle was decorated for winter; great boughs of holly were strung along the arch of the entryway, and more still hung in the foyer. White candles had been traded for red ones, and the great drips of wax looked like blood. Tem couldn’t stop staring at them.
“It was Evelyn’s doing,” said Leo stiffly.
Tem frowned at the tension in his voice. Then it made sense.
The decorations were expensive. And unnecessary.
Evelyn had spent money on something that had no purpose—something strictly superficial.
It was an abhorrent thing to do in a time of financial crisis.
Tem couldn’t believe where the woman’s priorities lay.
Who cared about decorations when the villagers were starving? Evelyn, apparently.
As if on cue, Evelyn appeared at the head of the stairs. “Doesn’t the castle look beautiful?” she purred.
Neither Caspen nor Tem answered. They were both incapable of lying, and it would have been impossible to say they found this beautiful. Instead Tem took Caspen’s hand in hers and squeezed.
This is going to be a long night.
He squeezed back. Of that I am quite sure.
Leo seemed to know it too, because he didn’t say anything either.
The three of them stood awkwardly as Evelyn flounced down the stairs.
By the time they were seated in the dining room, Tem was already reaching for her wineglass.
If she was in for a long night, she at least wanted to be drunk for it.
“Wedding preparations are going splendidly,” Evelyn said, although no one had asked.
Tem downed her wine.
“We’ve ordered sixty white swans for the occasion. They’ll look beautiful in the pond.”
Again, no one spoke. Tem couldn’t imagine how much sixty white swans had cost them or where they would even import them from. She’d never seen a single swan in the village, much less sixty of them. It was absurd.
“Of course, we’re also looking into getting white roses. But those are proving difficult to track down. Isn’t that right, darling?” She looked expectantly at Leo, who was staring into his whiskey glass.
“Quite difficult,” he said dully.
Mercifully, dinner was served.
The silence continued as the butlers served them roast beef, but at least now there was food to concentrate on. To Tem’s surprise, it was Caspen who spoke next.
“Have there been any more protests?”
Tem frowned. Why was he asking? He didn’t care about the villagers.
“Yes,” sighed Evelyn. “There have been.”
Two words flashed through Tem’s mind: Feed us.
“That is a shame,” Caspen said.
“It is.” She glanced at Leo, who was still trying to drown himself in his whiskey. “We are exploring…solutions.”
Caspen raised an eyebrow. “Such as?”
Ah. That’s why he was asking—it wasn’t to gauge the situation with the villagers. It was to see what plans the royals had for the future of their kingdom. Those plans would directly affect the basilisks.
Evelyn was still looking at Leo, who was looking anywhere but at her.
“We…haven’t decided yet. But we are looking into our options. Things cannot go on as they have been. It’s important to leave a legacy for our children.”
Tem nearly choked on her wine. “Children?”
Evelyn touched Leo’s arm. “We want two, don’t we, darling? A boy and a girl.”
Tem suppressed the urge to vomit.
Tem. Caspen’s voice boomed in her mind.
She knew he could hear her thoughts. It wasn’t possible to hide them at this point. Tem’s displeasure was so loud, she was surprised Evelyn couldn’t hear them too.
I’m trying.
You must try harder. You cannot afford to lose your temper.
Tem knew he was right. They had to do this, for the greater good. But he was asking the impossible. Evelyn was right there. Her big doe eyes stared at Tem with calculating curiosity, as if she were sizing her up. And how dare she? Evelyn was the one who’d left Leo in the first place.
But was Tem really any better? She’d left Leo too.
The thought only made her angrier. She’d left him so he could be happy.
And his happiness, for reasons Tem could not and would not fathom, hinged on the unremarkable person before her.
Evelyn couldn’t possibly satisfy Leo. She looked like she’d never had sex in her life, much less be willing to suck his cock in a carriage simply to torture him.
Leo required challenge and strength and power. Evelyn possessed none of those.
Tem. Caspen’s voice came to her again.
What?
Control yourself.
It wasn’t an order. It was a warning.
Tem could feel heat rising in her core, the monster within her no longer lying dormant.
Her basilisk side felt as if it were clawing for release, climbing steadily up the walls of her insides.
Fury was imminent. She’d transitioned only once since the wedding.
Yet she felt as if she were about to now, the urge rapidly consuming her like a forest fire.
Tem closed her eyes, trying to take a deep, calming breath. But nothing helped. She was too far gone—too close to the edge.
You are beginning to transition, Tem. I can feel it.
It was true. Tem’s skin was crawling—pricks of electricity tingled up her spine, threatening to engulf her.
She tried to control her breathing, but she couldn’t.
The familiar fire burned within her chest, threatening to explode.
She couldn’t transition here. She had to keep everyone safe—had to keep Leo safe.
But at the thought of Leo, Tem only became warmer.
Focus on something else, Tem.
I can’t.
Her hands were clenched around the napkin in her lap, which was beginning to smolder. Tem could smell the burning fabric. She was sweating now, great droplets running between her breasts. It was as if she had the world’s worst fever.
You must control it.
I’m telling you, I can’t.
You can do anything, Tem.
I’m so angry, Caspen. I’m—HELP ME.
An immediate, soothing wave of calm flowed from his mind to hers. Tem leaned into it, pulling it desperately toward her, covering herself with as much of it as possible. It was like dunking her head in a cold bucket of water. Her eyes opened slowly, and when they did, clarity returned.
The dinner had gone on without Tem. Evelyn was still speaking, and Caspen was nodding his head at whatever she was saying. But Leo was staring straight at her, his gray eyes piercing hers. His face was drawn in a frown.
What’s wrong? he mouthed.
Tem shook her head. Leo’s frown deepened.
She must look like a mess right now. There was no way to hide the physical tells: the sweat, the flush, the shortness of breath. Even the candles couldn’t account for the smell of smoke that now hung in the air.
“Tem,” Leo said out loud.
The table fell silent as everyone looked at her.
Why had he done that? “Yes?” Tem answered as smoothly as she could.
Leo held her eye contact. “Is everything in order?”
“Of course,” she said. “I just need to freshen up. Will you excuse me?”
Without waiting for an answer, Tem stood and left the room.
The cavernous ceiling of the hallway loomed over her as she ran for the closest bathroom, ending up in the one with the golden sink.
Tem gripped the sides of the mirror, staring at her reflection.
Her eyes were bloodshot. A single bead of sweat ran down her temple.
She wiped it away with her hand just as a knock came at the door.
“Tem?”
A woman’s voice. One she’d heard before, in this very bathroom. Lilly, Leo’s sister.
Tem didn’t move. She didn’t want to see anyone right now. Not only that but she didn’t trust herself yet—what if she was still in danger of transitioning?
“Go away, Lilly.”
“Tem. Let me in.”
A moment passed. Tem had a feeling Lilly would stand there until she obeyed.
With a sigh, she opened the door. Without saying a word, Lilly drew her into a hug. At first, Tem stiffened at the contact. Then she let the embrace deepen, leaning on the woman before her and allowing herself to be held.
“What’s wrong?” Lilly murmured. “You can talk to me.”
Tem just shook her head. She couldn’t talk to anyone, couldn’t voice the doubts that gripped her like a vise.
“You still love him, don’t you?”
Tears stung Tem’s eyes. In reply, she squeezed Lilly tighter.
“Oh, Tem.”
There was nothing else to say. Tem simply cried.
Lilly held her for a long time—far longer than she needed to. When Tem’s sobs finally quieted, she still held her, gently, Tem’s face buried in her ice-blond hair.
“What are you going to do?” the princess whispered.
“I don’t know,” Tem whispered back. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do.”
“You could tell him how you feel.”
Tem shook her head.
Lilly pulled away, looking her straight in the eye. “You could,” she insisted. “He would be open to it. I know he would.”
But Tem had no idea whether that was true.
And if Leo would be open to leaving Evelyn, it meant that Tem had made a mistake in sending him away.
And Tem wasn’t ready to admit that to herself, much less Leo.
Lilly knew nothing of the crest—she didn’t know this was all Tem’s fault.
In her eyes, it probably seemed like Tem had simply changed her mind.
“They’re getting married,” Tem said. “It’s too late anyway.”
“It’s not too late until they’ve walked down the aisle.”
Tem blinked. “How can you say that?”
Lilly sighed. “Because my brother deserves better than Evelyn.”
It was difficult not to react to that statement.
Tem was shocked to hear Lilly speaking so openly about her brother’s betrothed.
It was then that Tem wondered whether Lilly knew about the bloodletting.
Did she understand that the kingdom was now in dire financial straits because their main source of income had ceased?
Perhaps Lilly assumed all was well. The castle was decorated extravagantly, after all, and Lilly hardly ever left it.
There was no reason to believe anything had changed.
“He loves her.”
“He loves you too.”