Prologue
Callum - Five Years Ago
It’s funny how one ordinary day can turn into a defining moment, a life-altering single instance that would change the trajectory of my entire future.
It was a day that started as all others did for me back then - with Claudia, my housemaid, bringing a tray of fresh breakfast into my room.
Thankfully, Rafe had already snuck out of my room in the early morning hours, not that it mattered too much.
I’m sure Claudia already knew about Rafe and I.
For one, Rafe didn’t always sneak out in time and for another, she was the one pulling off my sticky sheets, but I appreciated her discretion nevertheless.
“Did you sleep well last night, sir?” Claudia asked, pouring tea from the kettle into a cup for me.
I climbed out of bed and threw my robe on, grateful that I had remembered to put my pants back on last night. “Cal. And I did, thanks. How about yourself?”
“Oh, fine, thank you.” She handed me the teacup. “It was probably a boring night compared to yours, though.” Claudia’s eyes twinkled in amusement as I followed her stare to where Rafe’s shirt lay crumpled and discarded on the floor near my bed.
I immediately reddened and Claudia chuckled.
“I’m only teasing, sir. You both complement each other well. Truly, I’m happy for you.”
At least Claudia approved of Rafe and I’s relationship. King Corvin certainly didn’t.
I took a seat by the fireplace, carefully holding the cup with two hands to avoid spilling. My hands were slowly recovering from the incident a fortnight ago, and they were still shaky.
“Cal. And thanks, Claudia. Thanks for…not mentioning anything to anyone, either.”
Claudia moved to my wardrobe, taking different pieces out and comparing them to one another. “It’s not my business to. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“I am,” I blurt out. “Happy, I mean.”
Claudia stopped her shuffling in my closet and turned around. “You sound surprised by that.”
I was. I had known Rafe since he was born.
Our relationship progressed over the years, starting with friendship and growing into something more later.
Now that I thought about it, it had already been about a decade since our first kiss.
I didn’t realize it had been that long. Time flies, and all that.
It seemed like it was only yesterday when we shared our first kiss on the tallest tower of the castle, watching the sun set over Ashven.
Rafe had always meant something to me. After all, he was one of the few best friends I had. But having him as a boyfriend was different. Rafe had easily become the light of my life. The sun that always, somehow broke through my stormy days.
My reason for living.
When I shook myself out of my thoughts and back to the present, Claudia had already left. I absentmindedly spun the ring Rafe had gifted me around my finger, sipping my tea, as a knock sounded from my door.
“Claudia? Come in, did you forget something?”
It wasn’t Claudia, but Rafe. I hadn’t expected to see him again so soon after leaving my room this morning.
He seemed nervous. His tan skin was flushed, and his long hair laid flat and unbrushed.
I set my cup down and went over to him. I was the cautious, anxious one in the relationship. Rafe balanced me with his carefree attitude and relaxed demeanor. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time Rafe was nervous and on edge, which led me to believe something was wrong.
“Rafe, what are you doing here? What’s wrong?”
Rafe didn’t answer at first, and instead cupped my jaw with both his hands, trailing his fingers down my face in a caress that sent a shiver down my spine.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “You know, when I was a boy, I used to be jealous of your blond hair. Of the little golden boy with the sapphire eyes.”
This did not sound like him. “Rafe…? What’s going on? Talk to me.”
Rafe stepped away, his arms dropping to his sides before he uttered the two words that would haunt me forever. “I’m leaving.”
I didn’t understand. “Leaving…where? The palace? I’ll head out with you. Let me get ready.” I grabbed the shirt Claudia had left out for me.
Rafe stopped me, placing one hand gently on my raised arm. “I’m leaving Ashven, Cal.”
I instantly stilled. “What? When?”
“Right now. A ship’s waiting for me.”
“Okay. I’ll come with you.”
To me it was simple; where Rafe went, I followed. If he was leaving, then so was I. I could handle any resentment at my abrupt departure when we came back. I moved frantically across the room, throwing clothes haphazardly into a travel bag.
“You can’t.”
“Of course I can. Ginna and Hanson can cover for me with the Hunters until we’re back.”
“Cal, please. Stop.” I dropped the shirt I was holding. “You can’t come with me. Not this time.”
I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Where are you going? Why do you need to leave?”
“I need to help my sister.”
“Adrienne? I thought she was away at university in Iven.”
I hadn’t seen Adrienne in years, not since we were children. She was placed in one boarding school after another. The King had told me she had needed discipline.
“Right. She’s stumbled into some trouble and I need to help her.” Rafe held my hands now, preventing me from moving. My fingers twitched under his touch.
“Is she okay? What kind of trouble? I can help.” I knew I sounded desperate but I was past the point of caring.
Rafe ignored my questions. “You can’t solve everyone’s problems, Cal. You have a life here, with the Hunters. I can’t ask you to go with me.”
“You don’t need to ask.”
“Please, Cal. You need to stay here.” The finality of his tone told me that his decision was set, and the conversation was over.
“You’ll come back to me, right?” The way Rafe was talking sounded like a more permanent goodbye than I was prepared for.
“I need to settle this all out, then I’ll see you again. I promise.” He didn’t exactly answer the question I asked, and the smile Rafe gave me didn’t reach his eyes.
“I love you, Rafe. Please be safe.”
Rafe leaned in and gave me a kiss, pulling away from my lips slowly.
I wish I knew then that that kiss was the last one we’d share. I would have paid closer attention to how his upper lip was slightly bigger than his bottom. How his stubble felt rough against my shaved face. How his body felt pressed against mine.
“I love you too, Cal.”
Rafe stopped suddenly on his way out, one foot already out the door. “Cal, don’t - don’t let the King change who you are while I’m gone. I know who he thinks you are, but there’s so much more to you.”
Then he left without another word, door slamming shut behind him. I was again alone in my room, unsure if that conversation had actually happened, or if I was asleep and I’d wake to discover that this was all a bad dream.
But it wasn’t a nightmare, unless it was one I hadn’t yet woken up from. Rafe had left, and he never came back.
It wasn’t until months later, after this scene had replayed over and over again in my head, haunting my every thought, that I realized that Rafe hadn’t been wearing his ring that I had given him.
The silence was deafening.
And in that silence, my life was forever changed.