Chapter 15
Callum
The next several weeks continued in the same way.
I had returned to my normal training schedule with the Hunters and had to leave Elia by herself in the library.
Any opportunity I did manage to spend with Elia, I was never alone, always having Hanson and Ginna close by.
I’m sure she thinks I’m avoiding her, and she’s not wrong.
The kiss with Elia was life-altering. Revolutionary. Cataclysmic.
It scared me.
Even though it had been five years since Rafe, I was immediately guilty the next day, like I had been cheating on him.
That notion was ridiculous, since he left me, but I couldn’t help thinking the kiss was some betrayal of sorts.
Every time I’m with Elia, she stirs up those same emotions I had felt all those years ago towards Rafe - like our souls are intertwined.
I was struggling with the fact that I could have those same feelings towards another person.
Towards Elia.
She gives me hope. I know I could easily fall in love with her if I allow myself the chance, but it’s been hard to give myself the grace to do so.
Three weeks after the kiss, Ginna corners me after training one morning.
“Cal, what are you doing?” Her hands on her hips indicate that she means business.
“Right now? Trying to recover from the beat down you gave me.” I’m straddling a bench in our changing rooms, trying to even my breathing out.
“With Elia,” she expresses bluntly.
I suck in a breath. “It’s none of your –”
“Don’t give me that crap,” Ginna interrupts. “She likes you. You like her. We all saw that kiss happen. And now we all see you ignoring her.”
She takes a seat next to me on the bench, facing me. “If this is about Rafe…”
“Of course this is about Rafe,” I heave in exasperation, eyes trailing towards the ceiling. “He still plagues my every thought. I loved him, Gin. I thought he was…it. The one.”
Ginna places a hand tentatively on my arm, as if I might crumble into pieces right then and there. “I know, Cal. No one is trying to take that away from you. But you’re treating him like he’s dead.”
I start to cut her off but she shakes her head. “No, let me finish. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but Rafe left you. He’s moved on, and you need to, too. You need to stop punishing yourself for him leaving.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I grumble.
“It won’t be. But loving Elia won’t take away from the love you had with Rafe. It’ll be a new kind of love. New memories without replacing the old ones.”
I hadn’t thought of it in that way. To me, loving Elia was erasing Rafe completely, pretending he never existed. Could I carry both loves with me, one past and one present?
I place my hand on top of Ginna’s. “I’m scared.” My voice cracks. “I could easily fall in love with her. But this has an end. What if she doesn’t want to stay after we find the Stone?”
Ginna shakes her head. “You’re thinking way into the future, Cal. A million things could happen between now and then. What do you want to do at this point in time?”
When the answer comes straightaway, I realize how foolish I’ve been the last couple of weeks. I want to banter with Elia, learn more about her. Make her laugh so I could see her smile light up her face. Kiss her again.
“Thanks, Ginna. When did you get so wise?” I clasp my opposite hand around her shoulder.
“Always here to knock some sense into you. Both literally and figurately,” she chuckles. “Now, please, go talk to Elia so Hanson and I can be free of this weird tension between you two.”
The corner of my mouth twitches in a half-smile. “Okay, okay, I’m going.”
???
Unsurprisingly, I find Elia curled up in her favorite chair by the window in the library.
“Need a pick-me-up?” She must have been deeply absorbed in her book because the sound of my voice startles her.
“What? Oh, Callum, it’s you.” She notices the cup of coffee in my hand that I grabbed from the kitchen on the way. “Is that for me?”
I pass her the cup. “Of course. You know, we’ve never gone through as much coffee beans as we have with you here.”
Her lips are pressed tightly together as she takes a small sip. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”
Her formality tells me that I’ve allowed this unresolved awkwardness to linger between us for far too long.
“I was hoping I might take you somewhere for the remainder of the day. Outside of the castle and the town.”
Elia perks up at that, her eyes brightening. “Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Are Hanson and Ginna coming, too?”
I shake my head. “Just us, I’m afraid, if you’re okay with that.” I take a deep breath and offer her the olive branch. “Can we make it date number two?”
Elia arches an eyebrow at me. “Is this going to end the same as our first?”
“With a kiss? Hopefully,” I tease.
“With you barely talking to me,” she retorts. Her eyes drill into me. “I didn’t think the kiss was that bad.”
“I’m sorry. I would like to explain myself today, if you’ll let me.” I offer her my hand.
Elia hesitates briefly before slipping her hand into mine, and I help her rise from her chair. “Here's hoping your explanation is worth it.”
“I’ll try my best,” I promise.
I lead Elia out of the palace through the same back door that we entered through on our very first night. It seems so long ago that I picked her up from the desert and brought her here; she’s already slipped seamlessly into our close-knit circle, filling a space we didn’t know was empty.
My horse, Gallant, is waiting for me, as requested. I nuzzle his head and slip him the apple I nicked from the kitchen.
“Ready?” I turn to help Elia up on the saddle, but she’s already seated herself comfortably.
“I’m waiting on you. Farm girl, remember?” She tosses her braid behind her back.
I swing myself up on Gallant behind Elia, my thighs closing around hers. I nudge Gallant to start moving before leaning in close, lips lightly brushing Elia’s ear.
“By the way, the kiss wasn’t bad. It was the best thing that happened to me in years, and I haven’t stopped dreaming about it since.”
Elia shivers against me and immense satisfaction blooms in my chest. We ride off in the late afternoon sun, my heart a hundred times lighter than it was this morning.