Chapter 14
TIPPY
Oh fuckkkkkk! I just shifted into my vixen form.
And then I sank my teeth into Jax’s bottom lip.
For a moment, complete shock registers in the green eyes just inches from mine.
I take in the sweep of his long lashes, the fine pores of his pale skin, the arch of his brows, now riding so high with surprise that they almost meet the thick dark fringe on his forehead.
He rears back, and just for a moment he morphs into his wolfen face, that long muzzle and blazing eyes, and then with a fizz of some weird energy, I’m back in my human form. And Jax is too. But his mouth is still so, so close, our lips almost grazing.
The thrum in my pussy turns into a heavy throb of desire.
“You bit me…” he murmurs, soft and husky, an inch from my mouth.
I pull back, see the blood on his lower lip, and then without even knowing what I’m doing, I lap at it with my tongue. Salty. Sweet. When his tongue comes out and strokes mine, my bones melt, and I let out a desperate mewl of pleasure.
“Tippy,” he sighs. I feel his hand angling my chin and he deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping over my lips. My mouth opens to him, and then his tongue is in my mouth, coaxing out a response from every one of my cells.
He groans. I whimper his name.
We roll onto the floor and he’s above me, pinning me, his strong arms either side of my head. I feel his lower body pressing down on my belly and I spread my legs, arch against the hard rod of his cock jutting into me.
I lift my hips, grinding desperately against him. I can no more control what I’m doing than I could stop breathing. His hand roams under my ass, lifting me up, and without even thinking I reach down and push my leggings and my panties down my thighs, then kick them off.
With a growl, his fingers find the wet heat between my legs and he strokes me there. Then he’s kissing me again, our mouths frenzied, our sounds feral and lewd.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, I’ve wanted you for so long,” he husks.
“Me too,” I almost sob. What’s the point in denying it? He’s seen those pictures now… He knows… A wolf can mate with a vixen shifter.
It’s all out in the open.
How we really feel about one another.
I vaguely realize that we’re rolling around all over those ancient, priceless illustrations.
But I don’t care, I don’t care.
All I care about is this, now, here, with Jax touching me everywhere.
I close my eyes and surrender to the need we’ve both denied for so long.
His hands are on my bare ass, swinging me round, pressing me against the flagstones, and I’m welcoming every groan and thrust of his tongue, the urgency of his cock on my belly.
I’ve never done this before.
And yet instinctively, with Jax, I know what to do.
He rips my shirt open, and buttons go flying. And then, breaking the kiss, he lowers his head and takes one peaked nipple into his mouth and sucks. Then he moves to the other, his hands kneading my breasts so perfectly that I cry out, “More, oh, more…”
Goddess help me, I grab one of his hands and push it lower.
And Jax needs no further encouragement. His fingers find the bud of my clit, he spreads my juices around it, and the sensations explode like fireworks behind my eyes.
Then with a low curse, he pushes me wide open and his head is suddenly between my legs.
He eats me out, that tongue moving in and out of me as he groans and growls his pleasure.
I am undone. Unravelling. My legs scissor around his head and so does my tail, winding around his ears, its tip flicking wildly as I get closer to coming.
This is nothing like the times I’ve pleasured myself.
This is cosmic. Seismic. His tongue moves faster, and I cry out, my body begging for more, for something else to fill the hungry, pulsing space inside me.
Jax knows what’s needed, his fingers join his tongue and push into me, first one, then two.
There’s a moment of sharp pain and I flinch, but then he finds some spot deep inside me with those magic fingers, and it sends me hurtling over the edge.
Bright lights explode behind my eyes as I come almost violently and scream a thin, high scream of Jaxxxxxxxxx.
“Okay baby, okay, okay.” He’s holding me now, and all I know is this is not enough. I’m like a frenzied animal, wanting him to take me, thrust into me… I have to have his cock inside me.
I tug him up and try feverishly to undo his belt, free his cock, make him take me. He lifts his hand to lick my juices off his fingers and then he pauses, pulls away and looks at his fingers.
I raise my head, staring at him. His brows pleat, his features suddenly tight.
“Jax, please, I beg of you, don’t stop now,” I croak.
But he’s still staring at his fingers. The fingers that were inside me moments ago, now glistening with my juices.
And… my blood.
His taut features pale. His jaw tics.
“You’re a virgin,” he says hoarsely.
He’s panting now. I see the wolf in his eyes at the sight of my blood.
“I—yes. I mean, not anymore, I guess.” I can’t lie, how can I lie?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” It’s a ghost of a whisper on his lips.
I bite my lip, still gasping from my release, trying to pull him back to me.
“It doesn’t matter Jax… please…”
“I hurt you.”
“No, no… Okay—just momentarily, and then… it was… amazing. Surely you know it was.”
“My wolf took over…” he mutters darkly. “It didn’t read the signs.”
“Please Jax, I—it was a second, literally that’s all, really… I want you to fuck me,” I whine pitifully.
“No, Tippy, I can’t.”
“W-what? Why not?”
I stare longingly at the huge bulge in his jeans.
I so desperately want to rip the zipper down, but already he’s pulled away and I feel the loss of him, the coldness on my skin, even though my arousal is still hot and drenching my thighs.
I want to bite him, tug him close. Beg, like the pathetic needy creature I am right now.
His face is pained, like he’s struggling with something internal. His mouth emits a snarl as if he has no control, and I see the wolf in his eyes, a hungry feral beast.
I should be scared.
I’m not.
But already he’s jumped up.
“Please… Stay.” I grab at the back of his jeans, but he pulls away.
“My wolf would use force if I let it.”
“No… you wouldn’t hurt me.”
“I wouldn’t. Don’t you fucking see?” He’s pacing now. “These forces are unbalanced inside me, Tip. It wants you, just as much as I do. But it won’t care if it hurts you. And I’m not sure I can control it.”
“You would be able to, Jax. Please…” I almost sob, realizing how flagrantly I am lying here, legs akimbo, my juices and a smear of my virgin blood on my thigh.
He looks down and his gaze darkens. His lips twist.
“Gods, cover yourself up,” he snarls.
Shame bites into me, more painful than his fangs could ever be.
He turns, heads for the door. “I need to get out of here before it takes over.”
“Jax, let me help you integrate, let me…” It’s my last desperate attempt to stall him.
For a moment he pauses, then he turns and I see I feel the struggle in the depths of his eyes, burning him up. And then his lips twist. “You can’t help me, Tip. No-one can.”
Then he bounds for the door, wrenches it open and is gone.
Leaving me with nothing but my hurt pride and my humming pussy, still needing him to touch me, take me, possess me.
As my skin cools and I stare around at the crumpled pages of the legend of Agdar and Leonora, reality bites hard.
I’ve been so unprofessional. Jax is my client. Even if I’ve had a crush on him for years, that was still totally not on. I behaved like a little whore.
I am so, so ashamed.
But there’s worse…
There’s no hiding from the truth anymore.
It’s not only Jax who I want.
I want his wolf as well.
JAX
I bound out of the den and run like all the demons of hell are at my heels.
My cock is still throbbing and desperate, and my wolf is like a wild beast inside me, snapping and snarling.
It scented her virginity and it was primed and ready to claim her.
It wouldn’t have cared if it hurt her.
And worst of all, human me was so close to giving in to those wolf instincts. It took every last thread of self-control I had left in me to stop. To just get out of there.
Away from temptation.
Gods, forgive me.
Fuckwit, you had her right there, laid out like a fucking feast. And you had to take the moral high ground, my wolf rants.
You would have been rough with her.
They like it rough.
She’s a virgin.
Was. Might as well have finished the job you started.
You fucking lowlife.
My wolf is doing everything it can to make me turn around, but I push on faster, my feet pounding through the parklands and into the wilder outreaches, further, further. I reach the perimeter of the Trojan lands, and the vegetation thins. I see coils of barbed wire sticking up above huge boulders.
Braden lands, my wolf mutters, and I feel its energy recoil.
I’m not afraid of Bradens, I telepath.
I stand, panting, on the edge of the parklands, the darkness enveloping me. Even with wolf vision, it’s hard to see what’s out there.
My wolf goes quiet, leaving me alone with my raw emotions.
And suddenly, an overwhelming sense of loneliness, of grief and loss bears down on me.
I don’t know where to go. I have no place to rest my head—or my heart. I haven’t since I was thirteen years old.
I pinch the bridge of my nose as tears gather, hot and caustic behind my eyes.
I don’t want to be a lost human. Or an angry resentful wolf. And I certainly don’t want them both inside of me, fighting. Particularly over the one person I care about more than anyone else.
I sink down and a dry sound comes from deep in my throat, a strangled cry of despair.
Despair for all those years that were lost to me when I was programmed and felt nothing. Despair for the three years after Traggar turned me and I had such strong feelings, a turmoil of need and longing inside of me, and no fucking clue how to express it.
And now, damn it, I know exactly what I feel.
I feel… love.
I love Tippy with all my heart and soul, and I’ve ruined my chances with her.
I fall to the ground and rock, sobbing. I don’t know how long I stay crumpled there, my forehead against the hard rock, tears coursing down my cheeks.
But gradually, something changes, some shift takes place inside me. But it’s not my wolf.
The old Jax rises up in me. The one who was fearless. The one who hacked holes in the walls of Sparkle City to look for his missing mom. The one who kept going despite being thrown into remand school, because nothing mattered more than making my family whole again.
And suddenly everything becomes clear.
I must prove my worth if I am ever going to be worthy of Tippy’s love.
Me and my fucking wolf have to work as one.
Clambering to my feet, I stumble toward the barbed wire, and the ominous, cavernous darkness beyond.
My wolf doesn’t like what I’m doing. I sense that it is— what? Fearful.
It’s pulling back, bracing against my human wishes.
But I won’t let it.
It’s been yanking me around like I’m a dog on a chain.
Now it’s my turn.
My wolf whines and I feel it digging in its paws, backing down.
I’m fucking doing this. And you need to have my back, I grit out.
There’s silence. I stand, waiting. Not backing down.
And then I feel my wolf stir, its ears pricking up, its vision sharpening, its claws flexing.
I grind my molars. Stare into the darkness. And then I run, as hard as I can at that fucking barbed-wire fence.
And I jump.