Chapter Fifteen
Saskia
At breakfast the next morning, Kivi informed her that Cass and Felicia had called her back.
“Felicia cheered down the phone,” she said with a laugh. “That’s the sort of bubbly, vivacious person she is. Cass is more reserved.”
“I think I’ve met Felicia at the bakery,” Saskia said. “I didn’t get bubbly or vivacious from her. Just professional.”
“You probably met a different Felicia,” Kivi said.
Saskia’s brain stalled, until she remembered what Kivi had said the night before about Dissociative Identity Disorder.
“She has several… personalities. Different people in her. That’s the Dissociative Identity Disorder I said about – also known, I believe, as Multiple Personality Disorder.
I don’t know a whole lot about it, but we will soon find out.
They’re coming over here at lunchtime. Will you join us? ”
“Count me in,” Saskia said. “I wasn’t planning on doing any writing today anyway. Where and when?”
“In here at twelve,” Kivi said. “I’m making toasted sandwiches. With lots of cheese. Will you join?”
Cheese, Saskia thought mournfully, but then stopped herself. “Cheese toasties sound great. I would ask if I could bring anything, but…”
“Just your brains,” Kivi said. “Mine aren’t quite up to scratch yet this morning. Something to do with the… beverages I consumed last night.”
Saskia smiled at the memory. By the time Kivi had finished her third can of beer – or more like two and a half, given that half of one had ended up down her top – she’d become significantly more relaxed.
They’d had a laugh, because Toto had come out to play and indulged in a session of late-night zoomies.
It had been ten-thirty before they’d all gone in for the night.
“Kivi Chadwick with a hangover,” Saskia laughed. “Who’d have thought? I’ll be down at twelve.”
Kivi was clearly about to say something else, but got interrupted by another guest with a question.
She fell into conversation with them as easily as she had with Saskia, and Saskia felt a tiny nip of jealousy.
She clearly wasn’t that special, if Kivi got on that well with anyone.
Perhaps she still was ‘just a guest’ in Kivi’s eyes, after all.
At five to twelve, Saskia descended the stairs, and took a seat at a table in the dining room.
This time she chose a table for four, as opposed to the table for one that was always set for her in the corner by the patio doors.
She had her phone with her, lest she need to Google something, but she intended to let Kivi lead, for obvious reasons.
That was, of course, if she turned up, and wasn’t thinking of backing out.
Just as Kivi entered the dining room via the kitchen, there was a knock at the front door, and she scuttled through to answer it without so much as a wave to Saskia.
Three voices started talking loudly, and when Kivi reappeared a few moments later, it was with two other blonde women.
One was indeed the woman from the bakery – Felicia – and the other was taller, willowy, and moved much more sedately. Cass, presumably.
“Saskia, this is Cass and Felicia. Cass, Felicia, this is Saskia. She’s…” Kivi tailed off. Clearly she hadn’t thought about how she was going to introduce her.
“Kivi’s protégée, guest, and friend,” Saskia said, coming to her rescue.
Kivi momentarily raised her eyebrows, presumably at the latter declaration, but there was no time to query it.
Saskia donned her most charming persona, held her hand out to each of the two women for a handshake, and then they all sat down.
“Saskia is only staying for another five weeks, but she intends to give a helping hand with the preparations while she’s here,” Kivi said. “Obviously, this is a big thing to take on for me, what with running the guest house too. So Saskia said she’d help. That is, of course, if you don’t mind?”
“As long as she’s not some raging undercover homophobe, then that’s fine,” Felicia said, and they all laughed.
Saskia’s gut twisted. A handful of years ago, that would have been her to a T.
“Now, before we get started, I must explain my DID to you. As you may or may not know, ladies, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Sorry – peeps. Not ladies. I’m trying to get better at using less gendered language.
While I think about it, can I check your pronouns? ”
“She and her,” Kivi said immediately.
“Same for me,” Saskia nodded. She’d never been asked for her pronouns before.
“Cool,” Felicia said. “Cass also goes by she and her. Almost all of my alters do as well. The only alter who doesn’t is called Coral, who goes by she and they, interchangeably, no preference.”
“Noted,” Kivi said – and she did, indeed, jot something on her notepad. “Can you run us through who’s who? And any terminology we might need to know? I’ve done a little research, but I know that every system is different.”
“System,” Cass nodded approvingly. “You’re picking it up already.
The collective word for all of the alters is the ‘system’.
‘Alter’, fairly obviously, is short for ‘alternate personality’.
We don’t call them ‘personalities’, because they’re so much more than that, although some other systems do.
Everyone is their own individual identity, just like anyone else. They just happen to share a body.”
“And in terms of who’s who,” Felicia said, “well, there is nobody called Felicia. ‘Felicia’ is simply the body’s legal name.
My name is Heather, and I’m the host, or dominant alter.
I’m the one who is engaged to Cass, and I’m the one you’ll probably deal with the most. The other two who you may see from time to time are Daniella, she/her, who you may have met at the bakery, and Coral.
Coral’s age is frozen at sixteen, goes by she and they as I said, and is not in any sort of romantic relationship with Cass.
Daniella is, on a level, but that relationship is entirely separate from the one that Cass has with me.
It’s complicated, but all I can say is that it works. ”
“Will that have any sort of impact on this wedding?” Kivi said. She’d been furiously scribbling the whole time the ladies had been talking.
“Well, we want both Coral and Daniella to have a say in the proceedings,” Cass said.
“But I am marrying Heather, not Daniella. And we would also like involvement from Kylie and Autumn. They are the other two alters in the system. Their impact will be slightly different, however, because Kylie is five years old. Again, her age is frozen.”
Saskia must have matched Kivi’s look of surprise, because the two women smiled.
“Yes, really,” Cass continued. “A five-year-old in a thirty-two-year-old body. She’s lovely, though, and we still want her to have a bearing on this wedding.
Autumn is twenty, we believe, and she’s…
quite a maelstrom, shall we say? She’s a force of nature.
A very, very anxious person. Her appearances are characterised by a level of hysteria and…
well, delusion. It’s been difficult for us to get to know her as a person, but now that she trusts me, I’ve been able to get a gauge of what she likes and dislikes.
I’d still like her to be involved, although I’m not sure how I’m going to broach the subject with her, given that she doesn’t acknowledge the other alters. ”
“Everyone else does?” Kivi questioned. “Everyone else… accepts each other?”
“Well, we’re not sure how much Kylie understands, because of her age,” Cass said.
“But Heather, Coral and Daniella get on well. They’re all aware of each other’s existence, and they’re all co-conscious.
Meaning that when one of them is fronting – in control of the body – the others can see and hear what’s going on too.
So take right now, for example: Heather is fronting, but Daniella and Coral are around too.
They just can’t speak, or move the body, or take control unless they’re really forceful about it. ”
“So you are Heather?” Saskia said, nodding towards Cass’s fiancée. “At the moment? I can call you Heather?”
“I’d like it if you did,” Heather said. “We’d like it if you tried to call us all by our correct individual names. It can be difficult to tell who’s fronting, sometimes, but Cass can always tell. And we won’t be offended if you ask. Or get confused. It’s a lot to wrap your heads around.”
“God knows I’ve screwed up a few times,” Cass said with a quirk of the lips.
“That’s all good to know,” Kivi said, then sat up. “In that case, I think we’re all set. Any questions, Saskia?”
“None so far,” Saskia confirmed.
“In that case, we’ve got a wedding to plan.”