Chapter 5
Between Fear and Silence
Adrien held my face between his hands as if afraid I might slip away.
And maybe he was.
Because I was starting to feel it too.
That horrible feeling that something was slipping through our fingers while we pretended everything was still whole.
“You’ll never lose me, Max.”
His voice was low, sincere, and almost desperate.
I believed him.
I believed him when he said he loved me, when he said there was no one else. So why did I feel so alone inside our own home?
I gently pulled his hands away. One more second of his touch and I’d probably end up crying for real.
I hated crying. Especially in front of him.
“Then help me understand,” I said, my voice more tired than firm. “Because I can’t do this anymore.”
Adrien ran his hands through his hair again.
Agitated.
Frustrated.
“I’m trying to do something good for us.”
“You keep saying that like it solves anything.”
“Because it’s true.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re leaving?”
The question slipped out before I could stop it. I saw the impact hit his face immediately.
Adrien looked genuinely hurt every time I suggested that.
But I was hurt too, and maybe that was exactly what was destroying us that night.
He took two steps toward me.
“I would never leave.”
“People in love leave all the time.”
Adrien stared at me like he was trying to find a way to fix everything without breaking whatever he was hiding.
And that started to irritate me again.
Because I was tired of feeling like an outsider in his life.
“You know what the problem is?” I said, crossing my arms. “You’ve been so distant lately that I started looking for reasons why.”
“Max—”
“And I hate that.”
My voice cracked this time.
Damn it.
“I hate feeling insecure. I hate feeling paranoid. I hate looking at you and trying to figure out if something’s changed.”
His eyes softened immediately.
“Nothing’s changed.”
“Yes, it has.”
“Not between us.”
“Then what’s happening?”
He opened his mouth.
And closed it again.
That was the last straw.
I let out a short, bitter laugh—completely humorless.
“Unbelievable.”
I turned my back, trying to regain control before I really exploded.
But it was too late.
Because I was already too hurt.
“If you don’t want this anymore, then just say it.”
The words came out quiet.
Much more vulnerable than I wanted.
Behind me, I heard Adrien’s breath catch.
“Don’t say that.”
“Then tell me what I’m supposed to think!”
I spun around, my chest rising and falling too fast.
“Because you don’t talk to me anymore! You disappear! You hide things from me! You act like you’re carrying around a whole other life I’m not allowed into!”
He looked devastated now.
Truly devastated. And for the first time since this argument started, I saw something shift in his eyes.
Like he’d finally understood how much damage had been done.
Adrien watched me in silence for a few seconds. Then all the tension in his face gave way at once.
Into guilt.
That undid me a little too.
“I’ve been an idiot,” he said quietly.
I frowned.
“What?”
He let out a tired breath and ran his hands over his face.
“I got so caught up in making everything perfect that I forgot the only thing that really mattered.”
My heart slowed for a moment.
“Adrien…”
He stared at me like he was making a decision.
A final one.
Then he gave a slight nod to himself.
And without another word, he turned and walked straight toward our closet.