Chapter 3
I tear through my hand luggage, which I had previously packed neatly, now scattered all over the hotel floor.
The tiny hotel towel barely covers my ass, my soaking hair dripping onto the floor.
Deciding on an outfit was difficult, so I pick out a baby blue dress, showing off my milk bottle legs flawlessly.
Some days, despite the nicely falling curls, it’s hard to tame the frizz, so I chuck what feels like fifteen hair products in my hair to make it at least presentable.
Tapping my phone for the time and realise I am already running five minutes late.
I shove my feet into sandals, grab a tote bag, and run out the door.
I speed walk through the hotel grounds, attempting to find the restaurant.
The calm air of the hotel in the evening is an odd feeling.
It reminds me of when I was a child and all I could think about was getting into the pool the next day.
I walk up the stairs to the restaurant, the lack of exercise catching up to me.
Once I reach the top, breathing like a dehydrated dog, I see Nora.
Fuck me.
The beige linen shirt and short set hung off her figure so effortlessly, with a plain white t-shirt underneath contrasting her summer glow, and her highlighted hair styled perfectly.
Her eyes look me up and down before that same old smile falls on her lips.
“Hello there,”
she says, stepping towards me slowly.
“Hello you”
Nora reaches her hand out and holds one of my curls in her hand.
**
BEYOND THE BLUES
“Where have these curls been hiding?”
she asks, staring at my hair intensely. “They usually hide on top of my head in a nest, like you’ve probably seen every time you’ve seen me.”
Nora snickers. I mean it’s true, I was a university student with deadlines left, right and centre. I didn’t have time to style my hair every day. We walk into the restaurant and sit down out on the balcony,
the sun setting perfectly.
“Wow, the sky looks beautiful.”
Nora looks out at the sky in awe. I thank Coco silently for painting the sky for me.
“I agree.”
Nora and I share a tapas of Greek food, olives, feta and all that goodness piled up on a charcuterie board.
“Have you been to Greece before Ophelia?”
The way Nora says my name does something to me.
“Nope, first time travelling alone, actually.”
“Really?”
Nora exclaims, taking a sip of her wine.
“Yes, I used to either travel with my family or Coco, but it’s difficult now to get her on a plane,”
I joke. Nora laughs, almost spitting the wine out of her mouth.
“I like it.”
Nora nods, pointing her finger at me.
“You like what?”
“Making light of a hard situation.”
“Well, otherwise I’d be crying all the time and I don’t drink enough water for that.”
Nora laughs again,I feel stunned that someone else in this life finds me as funny as Coco once did. I feel like with everyone else, it’s a sympathy laugh. No one quite got my humour like Coco. The creases by the eyes and scrunch in the nose always told me when it was a real genuine laugh.
“You’re funny, Ophelia… What’s your surname?”
“Greene, yours?”
“O’ Connell.”
“Nora O’ Connell has a nice ring to it.”
“Ophelia Greene is a lovely name. How did your parents come up with that?”
“Well, funnily enough my mum just found it in a ‘500 top girl names’ book,
**
and picked the first one both my mum and dad could agree on, thank the Lord I wasn’t a boy otherwise my name would’ve been Ophelio.”
I chuckle, picking at the olives in front of me, avoiding the brown ones and scavenging for the bright green ones in the bowl.
“You know I hate olives.”
“You hate olives? I’m afraid Nora, you’re going to have to sit over there”
I point to the bin almost overflowing with napkins.
“Away from me because we can’t be friends anymore.”
We laugh in unison. Nora stands up, sighing, jokingly about to walk away. I grab her wrist and pull her back to me. Nora holds her hand out to me.
“Care to join me for a beach walk?”
I put my hand into hers and walk towards the beach, the sky getting darker with each step. The beach is sandy, laced with volcanic rocks throughout, blue and white striped umbrellas shoved into the ground. We walk over to a sunbed and sit on the same one, our legs touching.
“Can I ask you something?”
Nora asks. I nod.
“Do you like women?”
I nod again. The moment I realised I liked women is still fresh in my memory. I saw two of my female friends kiss in front of me, and then it hit me. I didn’t need to like men, and there was a reason it made me so uncomfortable to be intimate with men. Then after that, I never looked back. Women are a lot more enjoyable to be with. I mean, I’ve not really dated a woman, sure I’ve had the occasional fling, but nothing really impactful to me.
“You?”
“You can’t tell by this haircut?”
Nora jokes.
“It’d be wrong for me to assume.”
I defensively put my hands up.
“Just like when people assume I’m straight because of my ‘feminine’ persona” I add.
“Fair enough, very true.”
Nora responds.
We sit in a comfortable silence, watching the stars fill the night sky, the waves filling the beach with its vibrations. Nora stands up and pulls another sun bed next to the one I’m on. We lay back on our sun beds,our legs still grazing each other.
**
BEYOND THE BLUES
“You can put your legs on me if it’s comfier?”
Nora offers. I place my legs over her thighs, and she places her hands on top.
I look at the stars, the sky clearer than in England, and a lot more beautiful. “There’s Mars.”
Nora points up to what looks like a star, but on closer
inspection has a red aura to it.
“Do you know a lot about the sky map?”
“No, I just always look for the reddish looking one and know it is Mars. The rest are just stars with a secret I have no clue about,”
Nora says, turning her focus onto me. The moonlight faintly gives me a glimpse of her face. Who’d of thought my first day on holiday and I bump into the girl I always had an underlying crush on at university? Nora digs her hand in her shorts, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, placing one in her mouth and offering me one, which I accept. Nora sits up, leaning over to me, lighting my cigarette for me before lighting her own.
“Can I ask another question? If it’s not too intruding?”
Nora asks. “What is this? Twenty-one questions?”
“If you wish.”
“No, no, it’s fine, just ask me.”
“How long ago did Coco pass?”
The question hits me like a ton of bricks, unexpected. I sit up on my sunbed, crossing my legs, trying to find the words to the simple yet heartbreaking question.
“She passed six months ago in February.”
And I still remember the moment so vividly, finding out my best friend died. The shock of it all made my heart heavy, and it felt like the world stopped for me, but everyone else just kept living the same. It almost felt surreal, like she’d walk in through my bedroom door and tell me it was all just one big joke. Instead, it was my mum walking through the door, tears streaming down her face, unable to form words. I feel my eyes swell up, so I stand up off the sunbed, brushing the sand off my dress.
“Do you mind if we go back to the hotel?”
“Oh Ophelia, I’m sorry if I intruded too much. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, no, you haven’t upset me.”
Tears are still in my eyes.
“I just woke up at 4am, I’m exhausted.”I lie.Nora nods, a silent understanding.
**
We walk the short distance back to the hotel, in silence making the journey feel much longer than it is. We reach the pool, a midpoint to each other’s rooms. Nora stands in front of me, only slightly taller than me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Nora asks, voice filled with worry.
“Sure.”
I reply, forcing a small smile onto my face, feeling my lip quiver slightly. Nora takes a couple of steps backwards before turning and walking toward, I assume, her room. I speed walk back to my room, the emotions overwhelming me. Will this ever get easier to talk about? I step into my hotel room, letting the feelings crash over me, feeling pathetic and embarrassed. I cry so hard, it’s hard to breathe and my chest feels tight. Placing my hands on the sink, and try to take a second to calm myself down, although the anxiety and grief were kicking my butt.If Coco were here, she’d have encouraged me to go have fun with the hot girl. If Coco were here, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.
*16 years ago*
Today is my first day of school. I am a little scared I won’t make any friends, but mummy promises I will. I hope she’s right. We stand outside these grand metal gates, other school children flooding in and kissing goodbye to their parents. I grab my mummy’s hand harder, never wanting to leave her side. She bends down to my level and rubs her thumb over my cheek.
“You’ve got this, flower,”
she says, her glowing smile filling me with the boost of confidence I need.
She hands me my bag, and I strut through the gates with my head held high. I wave bye to my mum, and she gets into her little yellow car we call Bert. When she drives off, I suddenly remember where I am and how scary this new environment is.
Walking into the classroom, there are colourful paintings all around, and the teacher is scribbling on the whiteboard. Wow, her writing is good! I hope I can write that well, mummy says my handwriting is very neat for my age. As the class fills with other kids, my teacher turns around, her enormous
**
BEYOND THE BLUES
tortoise-shell glasses sitting on the tip of her nose.
“Right, class, please find the table with your name on it and sit down.”
I scan all the names on the tables: Noah, Harry, Katie, Beth, Coco, and Ophelia. I sit down at the table and fiddle with the pencils on my desk. A blonde girl comes into the room, her hair with beautiful plaits and little flower clips hanging on. I want her to be my friend. She studies the names on the tables, and just my luck, she is Coco and sits down beside me.
“Hello, I’m Coco!”
she says enthusiastically, her smile spreading from ear to ear.
“Hi, I’m Ophelia.”
“Ophelia,”
Coco repeats.
“Nice to meet you, Ophelia. Do you want to be my best friend, please?”
Mummy really was right about making friends.
“Yes, please!”
I say, and Coco hugs me immediately, letting out a little squeal of excitement.