Chapter 9
We walk into my room, our lips locked together and hands not leaving each other’s bodies.
Nora walks me over to bed, I sit down and Nora steps back, looking at me intensely.
She kneels down and takes off my shoes, slowly placing them behind her.
Her hands work her way up my legs and she kisses the inside of my legs lightly.
“May I?”
Nora places her hand on my dress. I nod. Nora lifts the dress over my head, revealing my naked chest. Nora takes a step back and stares at my body, her eyes studying every inch of me. I feel self conscious and cross my arms over my chest.
“What?”
I awkwardly chuckle.
“You are so beautiful, Ophelia.”
Nora falls on top of me and kisses me more, her tongue finding her way into my mouth. She kisses me with the hunger of someone who has been starved for my touch. Pulling her shirt over her head, she reveals her sports bra and sun kissed skin. As if it’s been too long away from her, I drag her back to my face. The kiss is messy, but filled with need and desire. Her lips meet my neck, then my breasts, suckling on the skin, making me lift in pleasure. Then her tongue traces my stomach, so softly it’s almost ticklish.
“Can I take these off?”
Nora pulls on the band of my thong.
“Please.”
Nora pulls the pants off me, edging kisses around my vagina.
*
Kisses on my lower stomach, on my inner thigh, any place but there. The teasing makes me wriggle more, my body begging for her to do more. Then she does.
We lay in bed, both naked, sweaty skin glued to each other. I lay on her chest and she strokes my curls as I watch the moon outside the balcony window. Tracing my fingers along her skin, connecting my finger between each freckle.
“I’m not used to a cuddle after sex.” I say.
“Really?!”
“No, usually it’s just something quick, then we go our separate ways.”
“I hope this feels better than that.”Much better, I think to myself. The skin to skin contact makes the experience a lot more intimate. I don’t think I’ve ever been naked around someone for any other purpose except sex, and then usually it’s a race to put some clothes back on. But not this time. This time, we exposed ourselves to the world, lying on top of the sheets and caressing each other’s bare skin.
I turn over to face Nora and place kisses over her face, slowly. “I love your freckles.”
“That’s the Irish gene in me, covered in them.”
“I know.”
I giggle, eyeing her body. Nora grabs my face with her hands and places another kiss on my lips. For the past hour, it’s as if we’re addicted to each other’s touch, constantly kissing. I’m glad the world reunited us together again. Last time we saw each other, it was just acquaintances who only said a couple of words to each other. This time it was more, and although fast, my heart is exploding with all these new feelings I’ve never experienced before. Usually I’d run away, especially with things moving at a rapid pace, but I think I deserve this love and happiness after the year I’ve had.
“I’ve never met anyone like you, Ophelia.”
“You’ve only known me for a few days.”
“I know, it sounds silly, but talking to you is so easy. Being around you just relaxes me.”
Her thumb brushes over my temple. I feel the same. At least we both aren’t used to this sudden, deep connection we’ve somehow got after a
BEYOND THE BLUES
short amount of time getting to know each other.
“Usually I’m constantly on the go, can’t stop, but with you it’s different. I want to devour every minute I get to spend with you.”
Everything she’s saying, its like she’s reading my mind. Before I can answer, she carries on.
“And I’ll be honest, I was expecting this to just be a quick ‘fling’ you know, then I’d carry on with my holiday, ignore you like other girls, but with you I can’t. I won’t,”
Nora says seriously, her eyes trailing over my face with sincerity.
“I want to know you, Ophelia, every inch of you, physically and emotionally. That’s if you’ll let me.”
I consider her offer. Can I tell her about the ins and outs of my life? It’s only been a few days but I still haven’t had quite a connection with someone like this, well, since Coco. But romantically? Never. I feel like the world made us meet by chance again for a reason, and I can’t ignore that.
“Me too. I know there’s more behind that confident and cool facade.”
We move to the balcony, covering myself with just a bed sheet. Smoking cigarettes on the balcony, the rest of Greece asleep whilst I’ve just had one of the best nights of my life.
“Coco would’ve loved Greece. That’s why I actually came here.”
I say, avoiding eye contact.
“We promised each other one day, we’d be here living out our Mamma Mia fantasy.”
“What happened?”
Nora asks.
“Well, she died.”
“You know that’s not what I mean,”
Nora says, knowing she wants to know how she died. The nature of the subject always causes my eyes to well up.
“She… she took her own life.”
The silence is deafening. Nora sits there in silence, staring at me.
“I guess. I just didn’t expect it, really. She was happy, or so I thought.”
A tear falls down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly using the sheet.
“I think the worst part of it all is that she didn’t leave me a note.”
My voice cracks, trying to hold back from sobbing.
“Cry Ophelia, it’s okay to cry.”
“I’m just tired of crying.”
It’s been almost every day since she’s been gone that I’ve cried.
*
I become overcome with emotion, my breaths heavy and my cheeks flooded with tears. Nora walks over to me, lifting me up and placing me onto her lap. I cry into her chest.
“I guess I feel guilty for not noticing she was so sad, and for not stopping her.”
“You couldn’t have stopped it, Ophelia. She knew you loved her, but sometimes the monsters in people’s heads are too much.”
“I just wish I could’ve stopped it.I just wish I could have made her my maid of honour, the aunt to my future kids. In this life, I thought she’d be by my side.”
“But know this Ophelia, the ones that loved us will never leave us. Coco is sending you a sign she’s here with you. Whether they seem silly, she’s there.”
Nora pulls my head back to her chest, comforting my cries, my whole body shaking.
“In university, when I first met Coco, she never stopped talking about you.I barely knew her, and I knew she loved you. I went home and thought how amazing it must be to have a friendship like that.”
“Why, why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”
“Because telling you in a moment like now would mean a lot more.”
*
Six Months Prior.
I lay in bed, drifting in and out of sleep whilst I watch cheesy rom coms to keep me occupied. While waiting for Coco to answer about our plans tomorrow, I check my phone, even though she’s probably asleep.I hear a gentle knock on my bedroom door and my mum walks in, tears streaming down her face and eyes blotchy and swollen. I sit up, sleepily.
“What’s happened?”
My mum continues crying, almost to the point of wailing.
“Mum, what’s wrong?!”
I yell, panicked.
“It’s Coco.”
My mum whispers, the words barely escaping her mouth. My heart drops to my stomach.
“She’s passed love.”
Nausea hits me like a ton of bricks. I shake my head repeatedly. I sit up further.
BEYOND THE BLUES
“What? How? When?”
My mum stares at me, sympathy crawling from her eyes.
“She took her own life.”
I shake my head more.
“No, no, where is she?”
I stand up and run down the stairs, my dad meeting me at the bottom. I try to shove my shoes on but give up, kicking them across the hallway.
“Don’t lie to me!”
I scream. My dad tries to grab my shoulders, but I shrug them away.
“Darling, she’s gone.”
My dad says. I open the front door, the cold air hits me, knocking the truth into me. As if everything changed, the world went silent.
I collapse to the floor, and cry harder and scream louder than I’ve ever done in my life. My throat feels like it’s shut, and I can’t swallow.
My dad joins me and tries to put his arms around my body, but I drag myself away, and lay on my front doorstep in the fetal position. Nothing matters.
Why didn’t she tell me? Why would she leave me? I feel as if my heart was being torn to shreds, and I can’t imagine it ever recovering from the biggest loss of my life. *