Chapter 12
We finish dinner and wave each other goodbye as Althea stands by the door.
I walk over to the beach where I last saw the cats and see if any of them are here.
Then cats come running over, probably expecting more treats.
They purr all over me, loving every scratch and stroke I give them.
The kittens come bounding over and climb all over me, the mum clearly still wary but keeping a close eye.
I decide I probably shouldn’t stay out too long in the dark, alone, so head back after a little of the cat fix I needed.
Back at the hotel, I can hear the blaring music from the entertainment stage, alongside some out of tune singing.
Karaoke night, of course.
I check it out, feeling like I haven’t seen much of the hotel since being here.
A very drunk woman is on stage singing ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears.
Her face is red from laughing, and she’s dancing around the stage without a care in the world.
As I find a seat to watch the other karaoke performances, a man comes up and offers for me to sing a karaoke song.
My usual response is to say no as my anxiety can’t take it, but then I remember I probably won’t see any of these people ever again, giving me a bit of reassurance.
I grab the clipboard out of his hand, scribbling my name and song of choice.
I clap and cheer loudly as each singer comes offstage, and then my turn seems to come way too quickly.
My stomach has nervous butterflies, but I push them down, just for this song.
I stand on the stage, the brightly coloured disco lighting directly in my eyes. I wait a second, awkwardly waiting for the music to start and then the backing
BEYOND THE BLUES
track for ‘Dancing Queen’ by ABBA comes on.
The drunk lady from earlier is at the front of the crowd cheering and singing along, making me smile.
I look around the place and notice Nora in the corner, the same old smirk on her face.
I stumble a bit on my words but look away and continue with my performance, not a very good one, of the Dancing Queen.
As it finishes, the room fills with claps and I come off stage.
That’s one thing I never thought I’d do, get up on stage in front of an unfamiliar crowd and sing karaoke.
I get a few friendly pats on the back and compliments on my performance, although I’m sure they’re just being kind.
Before I leave, I look around for the one familiar face.
And there she is, already looking right at me.
She puts her thumb up and smiles approvingly.
Her face making me melt and regret every spiteful word I said to her.
It was irrational.
I knew she was going to America.
Just the fear of being left hurt again made me want to run and escape the situation, be the person on top.
Before I know it, I feel my feet dragging me towards Nora, stopping right in front of her.
How do I make this up to her? My mind searches for a good way to make it up, all while Nora is staring at me, waiting for me to say something.
Say something, for Christ sakes say anything!
“Hello.”
I say, my voice a little croaky and quiet.
“Hello trouble,”
Nora responds. “Tomorrow morning. Can you be free?”
“For what?”
Nora questions.
“For me to make it up to you for being an asshole earlier.”
“Sure,”
Nora says, not as bubbly as usual, but I understand I wouldn’t be happy if someone spoke to me how I spoke to Nora.
“The beach, by the sunbeds we went to, 10am”
I put my hand out, and Nora shakes it in agreement.
I walk away slowly, my head feeling slightly fuzzy from the wine.
What am I gonna do? I’m not satisfied with simply saying sorry and leaving it at that.
I want to show her I am sorry.
It’s making me wonder if I’ll regret this in the morning.
You know, allowing this situation to happen, but fuck it. Rather than having nothing at all, I prefer liking Nora far too much for a short amount of time.
My alarm wakes me up, slamming on my phone to save me from the further headache.
*
No more wine for me.
After struggling to sleep, once I got back to my room, I sat there and planned what I was going to do for Nora.
I settled on a breakfast on the beach with flowers to really seal the apology.
Down at the grocery store, I grab a yellow and orange bouquet, as well as a couple of pastries for both of us to try.
I consider grabbing a bottle of wine, but my head was screaming for me to put it down.
Instead, I opt for a bottle of peach iced tea.
I take all of this to the tills and start packing it into a plastic bag and notice a little key ring of a guitar by the checkout, so I pick that up and add it to the rest of my items.
Setting up this ‘picnic’ on the beach was a lot more difficult than the books make it seem.
Sand kept getting in my hair, then my hair in my mouth, and it seemed the pastries wanted to run off into the sea.
After a while of struggling, I set up the picnic on the beach and, to be honest, I was impressed with what I had created with such little time and resources.
The flowers laid in the middle of a towel, because a picnic blanket was not easy to find.
Then there was a plate I asked to borrow from the restaurant, filled with pastries and then two plastic cups at the ready for the peach iced tea.
“What’s all this?”
I turn around and Nora is standing behind me, staring down at what I’ve done.
“It’s for you, obviously, to say I’m sorry”
Nora sits down, crossed leg on the other end of the towel and stares at me.
Whether it’s a look of anger, disappointment or care, I couldn’t quite tell.
“Why did you act that way?”
Nora asks.
“I felt scared.”
“Why?”
“I was scared you’d leave me hurt, but I realised it doesn’t have to be that way, even if it is just a summer of love.”
I affirm, and Nora reaches over and holds my hands in hers.
“I would never want to hurt you, and I thought about it. We could still talk and see each other, just not as often.”
Nora says. I shake my head.
“No, this is your dream. I want you to be free, but all I ask for is to be with you for this trip. No arguments. Not upset. Just spending time together, and
BEYOND THE BLUES
more sex.”
I laugh softly.
“I think we could do that.”
“So, I’m sorry Nora, and here is me showing you that.”
I point to the layout in front of us.
“No one’s ever got me flowers before”
Nora picks them up, bringing them to her nose and takes a deep inhale.
“Most girls I’ve been with just seem to treat me like a man, just because I ‘look’ like one”
Nora seems on edge a little, hurt.
“They just expect me to be their boyfriend and as if they suddenly realise I am, in fact, a girl, they leave.”
“Well, if it reassures you, I know you’re a woman, and I still want to be all over you.”
I add, smiling and leaning my way over to her.
“And I don’t want to leave.”
I whisper before Nora leans over and kisses me intensely. Even if it has just been a day, I’ve missed kissing these lips. Nora pulls me on top of her, making me squash the flowers underneath my legs.
“The flowers!” I shriek.
“But your lips,”
Nora laughs, kissing my lips and face repeatedly. I pull away from her kisses and look her in the eyes.
“One more thing.”
I reach down into my bra and pull out the key ring, letting the guitar dangle in front of her face. Nora looks at me as if I have just given her the most expensive gift in the world. She gives me a tender kiss, her tongue immediately finding its way into my mouth and her hands gripping my hair.
“We can’t be here,”
Nora says roughly.
“Why?”
I ask, confused
“Because I need to touch you right now.”
“I must be in your good books.”
I chuckle. “The best.”