Chapter 23
Rowan
April - South Carolina
When we get to the campsite, Boone and Garrett have already started a fire and set up their tents. They greet us with hugs and hand us beers from the cooler.
“It’s not even noon,” I say, taking the beer anyway.
“We’re in vacation mode, who cares?” Boone says, taking a swig and placing the can down on the picnic table. “Archie, come here buddy,” he then says to my dog, who runs around him in excitement.
“We should probably set up the tents before we start drinking,” Maggie says, placing her can down on the table and walking back to the car.
I bite the inside of my cheek and run after her, opening up the back and helping her unload. “So, about the tent situation…”
Maggie frowns and looks over at me. “What did you do?”
“Nothing, it’s just—” I say, running a hand through my hair and blowing out a breath. “I told Jacob he could use one of the tents.”
“You what?” Maggie says, eyes round in panic and surprise.
“Well, it’s gonna be fine,” I try to placate her with a hand on her shoulder but she shrugs me off.
“Rowan, they’re going to find out about us if they see us sharing a small tent together,” she whisper-yells at me and I wince. “What?”
“Nothing,” I quickly lie. She’ll kill me if she finds out I told Boone and Garrett. Oh, God, not to mention Andi. While I didn’t tell Jacob, I’m pretty sure he’s suspected it ever since Wimbledon two years ago. “It’ll be fine, I promise they won’t find out.”
“You can’t control that,” she says, pressing both palms into her eye sockets.
I gently pry her hands away and kiss her forehead. “I’ll get cozy with Jacob if you want, and you can have your own tent. How’s that?”
She glares at me and gives me a half-hearted eye-roll. “He’ll probably make a move on you if you share a tent.”
“Okay. What else? Want me to sleep in the car?” I smile, pulling gently at the braid that falls over her shoulder.
“No, that’s terrible for your back. And we have the exhibition game next week which you need to be in top shape for,” she says, crossing her arms and looking over at Boone and Garrett, who whip their heads back towards the fire at the last second.
“I promise, it’ll be fine,” I say once more, picking up the equipment and walking it over to our tent pad.
We work together to set up the tent and Maggie follows every direction I give her, not being familiar with the process.
She looks so proud of herself once we have the tent ready and the mattress and sleeping bag set up and all I want to do is pick her up and kiss her senseless, but we’re not alone, and she’s still annoyed about the tent situation. So I busy myself with something else.
Jacob shows up a few hours later and I help him set up his tent since he’s just as clueless.
“Mate, this is my first time camping. This is so exciting,” he says, clapping me on the back.
I introduce him to Boone and Garrett and they immediately get along.
We spend the day hanging out at the campsite, cooking food over the fire and swinging in the hammocks we set up.
Maggie plays with Archie and listens to our banter and bickering, softly laughing every now and then.
I make sure she has snacks and drinks, checking on her more than I probably should be.
I can’t help but touch her every time I walk by and steal glances at her every chance I get.
She looks stunning, illuminated by the fire, her braid over one shoulder, clutching the blanket I wrapped around her to ward off the chill.
I think about what I told her yesterday about our trip to Italy.
Sometimes I wish we could go back and never leave.
We were happy then. The happiest we’ve ever been together. No outside perspectives, no worries that people would find out about us. As soon as we got back from that trip, I bought her the ring and hid it at my mom’s house. Now it stays hidden under my bathroom sink.
Garrett hands us all a bowl of stew he cooked over the fire and we enjoy our dinner while listening to the crackling of the fire and the rustle of the trees. Other campers nearby are playing music and laughing and I smile, content with this moment in time.
“So, how long have you two been shagging?” Jacob asks with a mouthful of potatoes.
I freeze with my fork halfway to my lips and turn my head to look over at Maggie. Her eyes are wide and she’s gripping the fork so tight, I’m afraid she might stab me with it. “Excuse me?” she says, glaring at Jacob.
Boone and Garrett look at me, eyebrows raised. They know the truth, but they won’t rat me out. Jacob though is unpredictable.
“I’ll hand it to you both, I was skeptical because you try to hide it, but the way you’ve been all touchy feely and making googly eyes all day, there’s no way you’re not together,” Jacob says, taking a drink of his beer and smirking.
“So how about that stew? Pretty good, right?” Garrett says, trying to change the subject.
Maggie frowns at him and looks around at all of us. “Why aren’t you guys reacting to this?” she asks Boone and Garrett.
“Reacting to what? We don’t know anything,” Boone says, avoiding eye contact and messing with his bun.
“Oh. My. God. You all know, don’t you?” Maggie whispers, shooting me a betrayed look. “For how long?”
I place my food on the table and rub my hands down my face. “I told Boone and Garrett years ago.”
“When?” she asks, voice cold.
“Four years ago,” Garrett says sheeply, looking down at his feet.
“Woah, I thought this was a new development. You guys have been together for four years?” Jacob asks, surprised.
“Actually, they’ve had a thing going on for closer to ten years,” Boone interjects, unhelpfully.
Maggie stands up, turns on her heel, and marches into the forest. I mumble a quiet fuck and follow.
“Rowan, what the actual fuck?” Maggie asks, spinning around to face me.
Her blanket that’s still wrapped around her shoulders drops to the ground and I keep my eyes on it, unable to meet hers.
“We agreed we weren’t gonna tell anyone, no matter what.
I haven’t even told my sister, the one person I’ve wanted to tell for years,” she says, throwing her hands up in frustration.
I wince and she notices, taking a step closer and forcing me to look up at her. Her jaw is clenched and the glare she gives me tells me I need to start talking. “Andreea knows,” I say, resigned.
She takes a deep inhale and her eyes shine with tears and all I want to do is go back to five minutes ago and deny everything, tell Jacob he’s crazy. But no—this has been a long time coming.
“Mags, I’m sorry,” I say and reach for her hand. But she pulls away, a tear falling down her cheek. “Mags, please—”
“Why? Why did you tell them?” she asks softly, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
“You know why,” I say, shoulders slumping. Because I love you. Because you won’t let me tell the world, but I needed to tell the people that matter most to us.
She blows out a breath and walks by me. At the last second, I take her hand and she stops. “I just—” she says, voice hoarse, “I need to process this for a bit.”
I bite the inside of my lip and nod, letting her go. I watch as she gets her headphones out of her backpack and gets inside the tent, zipping it closed.
“Fuck,” I mutter, running a hand over my mouth and walking back to the picnic table. I push away the remaining stew and let my forehead rest against the table instead.
“I’m sorry, mate. I can’t help but feel responsible for that,” Jacob says, sitting next to me and patting my shoulder.
“Ya think?” I say and sit up, placing my head in my hands instead, my elbows digging into the rough wood of the table.
“To be fair, you’re the one that didn’t tell her,” Garrett says, throwing more logs in the fire.
“Cheer up,” Boone says, handing me another beer. I take it, my mood plummeting further down.
“Garrett’s right,” I say, staring into the fire. “It’s my fault. I should have never said yes to the agreement. I should have just told her I wanted more from the beginning.”
The guys are quiet and I sigh, telling them the rest of the story. I skip the part about the ring, partly because I don’t want her to overhear, but partly because Boone and Garrett already know. They’re the ones that went shopping with me.
“So, let me get this straight. You two idiots are crazy for each other, but you’re too dumb to make it official?” Jacob asks, confused.
“It’s complicated,” I mutter, taking another sip of beer.
“Is it, though?” he presses. “Sounds to me like you’re both making excuses. She doesn’t want the world to know, which fine, whatever. Plenty of couples keep their relationship under wraps.”
“Like who?” I ask.
“Did you know Alexevich and Dunn are married?”
“What?” I ask, surprised. Both men are tennis players who retired in the last couple of years. I had the privilege of losing to Dunn at the Australian Open when I fractured my ankle.
“How do you know that?” I ask.
“Because I’m likeable and people trust me with their secrets.
” Jacob winks and I roll my eyes. “Because Jack and I are friends. And you didn’t hear it from me.
The point is, if Maggie wants the relationship a secret, that’s doable.
My guess is there’s some other reason she made that list. And you—” he says, poking me in the chest, “you’re just too scared to ask for more. ”
“That’s not true,” I try to argue, but the rest dies on my lips. The beers are making me sluggish and my mouth numb. I’m just so tired. I sigh, looking over at the tent. The lamp light is off and my guess is that Maggie is already asleep.
“It is. I bet you have a ring hidden somewhere but you keep putting it off, right?” Jacob says, a serious look on his face.
I blink at him and look over at Boone and Garrett. Both seem just as impressed with Jacob’s deduction skills as I am. Swallowing, I nod.
“You should ask for what you want. Is a rejection worse than torturing yourself for another decade?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I mumble, staring into the fire.
The sleep is fitful in the back of the Jeep with Archie at my back and I stir at every rustle of leaves or scatter through the brushes.
I wanted to give Maggie her privacy so I grabbed a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and made myself comfortable here.
When I finally think I might pass out for the night, I hear the sound of a zipper opening and closing and the click of a flashlight.
I throw my arm over my eyes—I don’t need to see one of the guys pissing in the nearby woods.
I listen to the footsteps, expecting them to get quieter and quieter, but instead they get louder. I pull my arm down and get blinded by the white light.
“Fuck,” I hiss, turning my head away and burying it in the blanket.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to blind you,” Maggie whispers, lowering the flashlight.
I turn my head back and watch her carefully climb into the back of the Jeep. She lays down next to me and props the light between us. I unfold the blanket and extend it over to her, so we’re both sharing it.
“Thanks,” she says, watching me with red rimmed eyes. I reach out and run a thumb over her cheek.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t how I wanted this trip to go,” I say, blowing out a breath.
“I guess Italy was a one time thing,” she says, bottom lip wobbling.
Pressing my forehead to hers, I say, “Don’t say that. You know that’s not true.”
She blows out a shaky breath and nods in agreement. I swallow hard and press a kiss to her nose.
“I get why you told them,” she says after a moment. “They’re your family.”
“You’re my family too,” I whisper, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“I don’t know what to do,” she says, nuzzling my neck and wrapping an arm around my waist. She knocks the flashlight over in the process and we’re left in the dark.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer into me, breathing in her orange and vanilla scent.
It’s diluted by the bug spray and sunscreen, but it’s still there.
Warm and sweet. “Maybe…after the exhibition match, we can revisit the agreement,” I say, heart in my throat.
It’s time we call this for what it is. No more beating around the bush.
Maggie’s breath is warm on my neck when she breathes out. “Yeah, I think that’s a good plan.”