Chapter 8 #2
I sit awkwardly on the couch, pulling at the burgundy patch along the seam, unwilling to bridge the gap again.
I want to dissect everything that just happened.
Why now, when we've had a lifetime to explore this?
I've given him plenty of opportunities. But then I remember I'm leaving tomorrow, and it doesn't really matter in the end.
Deacon pulls me then, laying us both on the couch so I'm facing him, tucked neatly at his side while his arm wraps around me.
"I talked to my sister. You have nothing to worry about at Willow's school. They aren't paying attention to stuff like that right now."
I nod, thankful he remembered.
"And I got some stuff for the house. I'll make another air filter while you're gone."
My throat constricts, thinking of him helping me even when he's angry with me. Loving me anyway. A tear slips down my face, and I nuzzle into him.
"Thank you," I whisper.
All the confidence and bravado from earlier leaves me, and suddenly I'm feeling exhausted.
"You can thank me by getting your stubborn ass back here in one piece," he says, smoothing down my hair. I snort.
"Promise me Maple. Promise me you won't play hero and you'll look out for only yourself out there. We all need you." He uses one finger to tilt my head up so he can see my response clearly.
"I promise," I answer, and I mean it.
I have no intention of dying. This seems to satisfy him, and we lay there like that, talking in soft whispers.
The heat from earlier seems to have dissipated as quickly as it came, and before I fall asleep curled up in his arms, I wonder why he truly stopped, if there was something other than my leaving holding him back.
An obnoxious throat clearing wakes me up from a peaceful sleep. I realize the predicament at hand as soon as my eyes are open.
I'm curled around Deacon on the couch, clothed but still in a very public display of intimacy. I turn to see both my siblings gawking at us, smirks on their faces.
I leap from the couch, untangling myself, which causes me to fall over in my haste. Deacon wakes up, grinning, as he watches me wipe the drool from my face.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Willow teases gleefully. Linden is smirking, eyes bouncing between us.
"Oh Gods, it's nothing. We fell asleep on the couch." I glare at them.
"Nothing? I'll remember that next time you're using me as a pillow... drooling all over me," Deacon replies with a coy grin.
"Traitor," I hiss at him, grabbing my tunic off the floor. Of course he would encourage their taunting. I can't help but smile a bit at the dynamic. He's always fit right in with them, happily teaming up with my siblings against me.
"So, anyway," Linden starts, "what's the plan for today? When do you have to leave?"
"I'm supposed to be at the station at nine."
My stomach bottoms out. I don't feel ready. I feel like I'm forgetting something. Forgetting everything. I wish my memory was better. I always feel like I'm missing something.
"That's in like half an hour...." Willow says, chewing her lip.
I nod, realizing I've really slept in for once.
"We'll help you get your stuff ready and walk you there," Deacon offers.
"Thanks, but you guys don't need to do that. I'm a big girl," I say.
Linden walks to the kitchen, grabbing us all some water before we leave, when he says, "Honestly, we really have nothing better to do."
I can't help the laugh that comes out in response. Our brother is always so endearingly blunt. I hope whoever he ends up with has thick skin.
"Wow, doesn't that make me feel special?" I tease.
His eyes widen. "I didn't mean it like that! We'd like to, I mean. It's the least we can do..." He blows out a breath. "You know what I mean."
I smile at him. "That will be nice, thank you."
I gather up my small supply of things; wanting to leave most of it for Willow anyway means I'm bringing next to nothing.
I only have a small backpack, and it feels weird to be leaving my whole life behind.
Together, we head out into the miserable weather.
I briefly think of begging Willow to stay back.
I don't want her using her good filtering masks on silly things like walking me out when we could say goodbye at home, but I know there's no sense in arguing with the little underworld beast.
We walk through the empty streets, everyone is either at work or hiding from the swirling gusts of powdery particles that ravage our town.
We come to the old station, where trains and vehicles used to come through from all over the country with supplies.
It sits mostly empty now, wood boarding up the broken windows of the rusty booth at the center.
There's one vehicle sitting off to the side.
It's been fixed so many times over, I'm sure it hardly resembles what it was originally.
A large truck with a long cab, patched canvas creating a tent over the back, sits by itself.
Its driver, in New Providence gear, stands fiddling with the solar panels strapped to the roof.
I suspect it's difficult to keep them running, from lack of parts and direct sunlight.
If I'm honest, I'm a little excited about this part. I've lived such a small life here. It will be good to see more, and experience a few things out of the ordinary, even if it comes at a cost.
The driver gives me a curt nod. I turn to my family and start with Linden, pulling him in for a big hug.
"OK, I left a bunch of instructions in the kitchen.
Everything is in there, so please don't lose them.
There's enough money to get you through the next month, although I think my pay should come through to you sooner, so make sure you check the post. I talked to Marta from the diner and she's going to check in with you guys.
She can help if you have stuff come up or need help with Willow.
Don't be nervous about asking her. She's all bark and no bite.
And what else am I forgetting? I don't know, but I wrote it down.
Don't ease up on your studying. Oh, and. ."
Linden interrupts me.
"Maple, stop. You thought of everything and if not, I'll figure it out. I'm not a kid anymore, ok, we got this."
He says it with such finality it surprises me into silence. He really is growing up. I move on to Willow and pull her in for an equally aggressive hug. I hold her back a little so I can see her eyes.
"Be smart," I say to her, waiting expectantly.
"Be brave," she replies with a sniffle. A mantra our mom always used to say to us. I have the foggiest memory of it, and I know Willow doesn't remember, but we've repeated it so often and for so long it's still our thing.
I can hear Willow's muffled sobs through her mask. I hold her a moment longer before moving on to Deacon. For a second I'm not quite sure what to do, our intimate moment last night shifting our relationship ever so slightly.
He makes the choice for me though, and grabs me, holding me tight.
"Remember your promise, ok? Come back." I nod into his chest, emotion clogging my throat. "I love you," he whispers and shoves me away just as quickly, leaving me whirling.
Did that seem different from the way he usually says it?
I stare at the three of them, backing towards my ride.
"I love you all. Please take care of each other. I'll see you soon."
I yell it as I turn. I barely hear anything the officer in front of me says. He gestures to the back where I guess I'll be riding, taking one look at my family standing there, all of them waving, before flipping open the canvas flaps of the truck and hopping in.
My eyes widen as I take in the full truck bed.
All of the passengers look uncomfortable and weathered.
I make myself as small as possible, not wanting to attract unwanted attention before I even arrive.
I sit on the sliver of bench available closest to the door.
The Centre is only a two-hour drive, but I know a lot can happen in two hours, especially on these roads.
There are seven others, not including me, shoved back here.
Their ages range, with the youngest being around Linden's age and the oldest probably closer to forty. The man at the back eyes me, almost rolling his eyes like he suspects I'm going to be a pain right off the bat.
I jump suddenly as a boy's head appears in front of my face without warning.
"Hi! I'm Leo, how's it going?"
He has the biggest smile on his face I've ever seen. Is he lost? Why is he so happy? He's sitting across from me, shaggy blonde curls falling around his face. This is the kid I thought was about Linden's age.
"I'm Maple." I smile back politely.
"This bunch is very chatty," he throws a thumb at everyone seated beside them sarcastically. "I'm from two towns over, and I am bored to tears. Were you from Strayton?" he asks.
I wonder if I should give him that information, but I suppose it's rather obvious being I was just picked up there.
"Yeah, born and raised." I shrug.
"Wow, must be nice. You guys actually have facilities there. Isn't there a hospital? My town, the hospital, school, and the post office are all wrapped in one." He laughs.
"Yeah, the hospital and the university off-sites mix into one, but it works because most of what you can take now at university you need the hospital for," I reply.
"What do you mean, off-site?" he asks eagerly.
"It's like a smaller version of the real thing, sanctioned by the real thing... if that makes sense. The real university and hospital are in The Centre, but they share resources, and fund it." I only know all this through Linden, of course.
"You a government worker?" the shy red head next to me says. Her big round eyes blink rapidly, making her look impossibly young, as they bounce around the others sitting with us. Her lips are dry and cracked. She looks tired.