Chapter 28
Leo is laying on my bed with his feet up on the wall, throwing a wad of paper in the air like a ball.
"Woah, where'd you get that stuff?" he asks, flipping over and admiring the outfit I used to wear to swindle people out of money. Gods, that seems like a lifetime ago now.
My hair is loose, falling in heavy waves down my back.
It's the healthiest it's ever been, and even though I keep thinking I should cut it, I can't bring myself to do it.
It helps that Loretta made me some sort of fancy hair ties that hold it in place better.
I'm finally able to run and spar without my hair coming loose and smacking me in the face.
I found them in my locker; the rings in a neat little package.
Which reminds me, I should go thank her soon.
"Is it too much?" I ask, suddenly self-conscious.
"No, no. It's perfect. The goal tonight is recon, right? And to finally let loose with your buddies." Leo's giddiness is infectious, I can't help but smile.
Farra groans. "Do I have to come?"
I haul her from her bed and shove her towards the bathroom.
"Yes, you do. We all need to be together to try and find some decent intel about Soland and Zaphira, and this is the perfect opportunity. Plus, Leo's right ––we should really let off some steam, too."
Farra doesn't put up much more of a fuss as she heads to the bathroom to get ready, when there's a knock at the door.
I open it to find Deacon leaning against the door frame, like he owns the place.
He's out of his Cadet uniform and back in his regular clothes.
Something about it sends a pinch of fond nostalgia to my heart.
This is Deacon ––my Deacon. He enters, giving me a whistle and spinning me around by my hand.
"Well, look at you Mae. All done up. You look beautiful!" he grins, which has me grinning back.
I'd found him after we had got home from our assignment. His had gone off without a hitch. Their crew hadn't run into any issues, and got back in record time. I don't even know why I worry; Deacon has a way about him. When we were younger, he had me convinced he was a lucky charm.
He flops down on Farra's bed, and when she comes out and scowls at him for making himself comfortable, he just chuckles.
I hadn't wanted Deacon to come out tonight.
He doesn't know the real motivations behind our little excursion.
But when it was announced that we'd now be allowed a little more free time before we were sent out on our permanent assignments, it was hard to come up with a reason why he shouldn't join us.
Besides, I know Deacon. He'll be doing his own recon after he gets a few drinks in.
Women love him, and he loves women, and now that the boundaries between us have been clearly and painfully drawn, that no longer bothers me.
In fact, I find it a bit of a relief; not having to constantly wonder if he's ever going to look my way.
My mind wanders back to the pod, with Tane, and I feel my cheeks heat slightly.
Deacon looks at me and gives me a smile, and I wonder if he noticed my blush.
I feel the faintest pang of guilt as he watches me intently.
Which is ridiculous. Tane and I didn't even do anything.
I probably made up the tension in the pod in my head, considering how all our other interactions have gone.
And even if there was something there, what would I have to feel guilty about?
I'd made my feelings abundantly clear to Deacon, hadn't I?
He shot me down. That was that. Nothing to feel guilty about either way.
Still, guilt has always been a comfortable companion. Perhaps that just comes from being the oldest? Maybe being responsible for other people just inherently makes you feel a little guilty about everything.
Farra comes back out of the bathroom for the third time. "Ok, let's go!"
My jaw hangs open slightly, shocked.
"You look amazing!" I say sincerely, which earns me roll her eyes.
I rarely see her in civilian clothes, and it changes her.
She's got the same kohl lining her eyelids as I do, and she's got her own blackish, long-sleeve top.
It doesn't have a low neckline like mine, but she doesn't need one to attract attention.
"Stop gawking! Let's go!" she growls, batting away Leo, who is trying to play with her silky, brushed-out hair.
I stand, taking in the bustling tavern where we end up. There are tons of cadets I recognize from our cohort, everyone looking to blow off a little steam.
Firelight flickers from the lanterns hanging throughout the wooden rafters.
This place looks like it never fully embraced the advances of the modern world.
Smart, considering how things turned out.
It's all old dark wood and leather. It smells musky, years of spilled beverages on sticky floors.
People already getting sloppy as they walk around, socializing.
There's a dance floor that's picking up participants as the band up front plays lazy tunes.
Leo plunks down a tray of drinks on the table, spilling some of them.
"That is the last time I go get us all drinks. The barkeep berated me for five minutes about my age, claiming he didn't sell children alcohol. I had to show him my flippin' cadet tags," he whines.
"Maybe try to refrain from saying words like flippin' when you're complaining about people not taking your age seriously," Farra laughs beside him.
"Not all of us want to sound like pirates, Farra," he teases.
"Now, now," Deacon pretends to chide, as he hands out the beverages.
I take a gulp and am pleasantly surprised. This tastes moderately better than the stuff we get in Strayton. It's a familiar sensation; everything is just slightly better here. The food, the beverages––even the air.
I eye the room, and see several scenarios playing out. There's a group of travellers by the tall tables near the bar. All men, ogling every woman who comes within a four-foot radius. Easy targets to get information out of.
There are several tables of cadets, who are either drunk or on their way.
A few tables I can't quite peg, although their clothes and lack of urgency to seize the moment would suggest locals just out for an evening.
My attention's brought back to the table by a boot to my shin.
"Earth to Maple. I asked how your head was," Deacon chastises.
I give him a sardonic grin, that he returns.
"It's fine, honestly. Those healing accelerants are almost magical," I shrug. He nods absently, and I'm unsure of the answer he was expecting.
We'd asked Berkley and Tarius to come out with us tonight, but they'd both declined. Berkley is still acting odd, and I've yet to catch him alone so we can talk.
Tarius had simply said it was to "people-y" for him, which somehow made sense, so I guess I speak Tarius now.
I smile as Leo finishes his beverage, his volume continuing to rise, and he speaks more and more with his hands.
"Who would like to dance with me!?" he hollers through a burp.
Farra is shaking her head in feigned disgust, but to my surprise, Deacon drags Leo by the hand to the dance floor, causing us both to laugh.
Deacon towers over Leo, and quickly takes the lead, swinging him around the dance floor.
We're laughing, watching Leo trip on his own feet over and over, as Deacon catches and twirls him with ease.
As the second song starts, I grab Farra's hand; she tries to plant her feet into the floor, but it's no use. I pull her in.
Once she's on the dance floor, something happens.
The beat of the song seems to overcome her, and she completely loses herself to the music.
We bounce around each other, laughing and swaying with the music.
At some point Deacon leaves and comes back to plop more drinks down on our table, all of us taking turns going back to our booth to drink.
The song slows, and Deacon pulls me into a familiar embrace, resting his chin on my head and squeezing me tightly.
We move together in comfortable silence.
"Are you having fun?" he asks softly.
I pull back slightly, a little thrown off by his question. I search his face for the meaning; I see something pass across his features that looks an awful lot like regret.
"Of course I am. This is perfect," I say, trying to reassure whatever's got his attention right now.
"Are you..." He pauses. "Are you glad I followed you out here?" he asks sheepishly.
I let out a deep sigh and lean so my head rests on his chest.
"I'm glad you're here, Dea," I say, although I'm glad I'm not facing him, because he might see the hint of uncertainty I feel as I say the words. The whisper of a lie in them.
"Good," he says, snuggling closer to me. "Because I'd follow you anywhere, little tree," he murmurs into my hair. My brows pinch at his words, an ache blooming in my chest.
But, what if I don't want that anymore? I think to myself. At one point, those words would have made me swoon. A stark contrast to how I feel now.
To my relief, the song ends, and we're pulled apart by my friends. Leo challenges Deacon to a game of darts, giving me a subtle nod; time to mingle. Even drunk, he's wildly perceptive. We really don't give him enough credit.
Farra and I head to the bar. I pass the table of travellers and give the nearest one a shy smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. He takes the bait almost instantly, and follows me to the bar.
"Hey ladies, can I get you two a drink?" he says, leaning over the bar in what I assume is supposed to be a casual stance, but just looks incredibly sloppy.
Farra grimaces and I elbow her.
"We're ok for now," I say sweetly. "Where are you from?"
"All over, really. Traveling’s in my blood," he says through a slurred burp. Charming.