Chapter 32 #2
Willow has already started packing, which I told her was wildly premature. I told them I'd send them a coded letter when the time came to get ready. I've drawn a map with the meeting point and the distance they'd have to get on their own, which luckily isn’t far.
"Do you have any money squirrelled away?" I ask Linden.
With my government cheques and the medical coverage, he should get more than they spend right now.
He nods.
"Good, bring that with you and pay the twins half of whatever you have as a show of good faith. I'm going to have to bribe them to take us into Zaphira instead of Soland, but it will be worth it. They've crossed both borders several times."
Linden nods again, worry creasing his forehead.
I lay my hand on his and squeeze. "It's gonna be ok. It will be hard, but it's going to be worth it. We have to get out of here, Lind."
"I know," he says quietly, sounding defeated. "Things are even changing at the university, and at the hospital."
I quirk my eyebrow in question.
"There's often military presence now. They claim there have been raids here, but I haven't seen any. If I had to guess, it's civilians who are so desperately trying to get medication for themselves or loved ones."
I purse my lips, unsurprised.
"I'm sorry, Lin. I know you've worked hard to get as far as you have. I hope that there will be opportunity for you to keep going with your studies in Zaphira. Who knows what it will be like there for science and medicine?" I smile encouragingly at him.
The rest of the night is mre relaxed, we gossip about random townspeople, and Willow fills us in about some of the drama at her school. My body sags with relief as I listen to their idle chatter, both gunning for my attention in adorable, subtle ways.
"Oh! And Giles is missing! Marta took over the diner," Willow says with a cheeky smile.
"What? Really? What happened to Giles?" Deep satisfaction curls in my gut.
"No one is sure— he just disappeared. Some think it's like all the other disappearances, but I'm not sure.
I think someone finally got fed up and buried him somewhere, and no one cares enough to report it.
According to my friend whose sister works at the diner, Giles got even worse after you left.
Openly humiliating and assaulting the staff," Willow says.
I wince, thinking about all the girls I left behind at the diner. At least when I was there, Marta and I acted as a bit of a buffer. I feel a pinch of guilt wondering if Hollis is okay... but I don't ask, afraid of the answer.
"I bet Marta murdered him with her frying pan," Willow continues, and I snort. I wouldn't be surprised, there's only so far you can push a woman.
There's a comfortable silence for some time before Willow decides being nosy is her new favourite pastime.
"So, did you and Deacon decide to finally go for it once he showed up at training? If that's not a grand, romantic gesture, then what is!" Willow looks at me with moon eyes.
I frown.
"Oh, because you are suddenly an expert on grand, romantic gestures?" I tease.
"Oh come on, Maple. You have to know he's been crazy about you since we were kids," Linden says, surprising me.
"No, he hasn't," I argue.
"He followed you into the freakin' army, Maple! Open your eyes," Willow states dramatically.
"Trust me. For a split second, I thought maybe… but he basically turned me down. He loves me, just not in that way."
Linden frowns now, like nothing has made less sense to him.
"I don't buy it. The guy was a mess when you left. You two are meant to be," Willow clucks matter-of-factly.
I shake my head, bemused. She will be the death of me. Dark green eyes flash in my mind, and I feel a pinch of guilt that they're the first thing I think of when she says that.
I used to fantasize endlessly about Deacon; about a future together I secretly wished for— when I was brave enough to wish.
Something changed for me when I got to The Centre.
I'd like to blame Tane— his annoying smirk, and the way my body seems pulled by an invisible thread in whatever direction he is.
But it's more than that, I think. It's all the relationships I've built, and how each one has healed parts of me I didn't realize could be fixed.
Time goes by too fast. Willow falls asleep on the couch, and Linden and I stay up late agonizing and arguing over details, and coming up with codes for our letters.
There's a low hum of anticipation when we talk about the future—one that's never really been there before.
I'm not sure we've ever looked to the future and been excited by the possibilities.
Maybe that's the real reason the council decided to start drugging the population. So people would forget to hope.
I wake to the sound of Willow's soft snores. We all fell asleep in the living room. Linden is slumped in the chair, looking studious, even in sleep.
I take a moment to watch them. They both seem older than when I had left. More than I had expected. I both hate and love it simultaneously.
They hear me packing up and groggily wake, offering to follow me to the station.
"No... no, you guys stay here. Go back to sleep for a bit. Besides, it won't be too long before I see you." I bend to hug them both so they don't have to get up. Willow is asleep again before I've reached the door, making soft murmuring noises as she nuzzles into the couch.
"Be smart," Linden says softly.
"Be brave," I whisper back, taking one last look at our home, knowing this time I truly won't see it again.
My eye catches on that fourth chair before I head out, and it haunts me my whole walk.
I know he's never coming back to Strayton.
I know he's probably not alive. But a part of me can't help but worry that if he ever did, there'd be nothing here to find, and that stings.
My pack feels heavy on my back as I walk, and my uniform feels irritating against my skin.
I wait for the truck. There are only two new recruits coming, so I guess the next cohort will be small. I close my eyes and let my mind wander as the bumpy road lulls me to sleep, dreaming of clean air and untainted food, a place where I can finally breathe.