Chapter 16
sixteen
Cameron
Ireluctantly leave Rosalie’s house after saying goodbye to her and Paige, but not without a promise from Rosalie to keep me posted during her travels.
If it weren’t for the fact that I need to head back to Carlsburg to pick up Addison tomorrow, I’d have offered to drive the two of them to Lexington to catch their flight. For now, though, I’ll settle for calls or text messages.
As I drive home, I reflect on the past twenty-four hours with Rosalie.
Until yesterday, there had only been run-ins around town or short meetings here and there, and sure, they were friendly and flirty, but I really felt like yesterday was a turning point, and I was looking forward to getting to know her better.
I think, in some ways, today’s events sped that up, and, in others, slowed it down, because grief bonds you in a way that surpasses simple friendship.
I feel honored she let me see that side of her, her vulnerability, and she trusted me enough to call.
When Julianne passed away, everyone in town was there for me. At some points, it even felt smothering when all I wanted to do was sit in the grief of losing my wife.
Looking back now, I know I couldn’t have done it without them. Their constant check-ins kept me afloat when all I wanted to do was drown in sadness. Sure, I put one foot in front of the other for Addison, making sure the only remaining piece of my wife and I felt wholly loved.
Caring for a rambunctious two-year-old who had no idea that our world had just been obliterated was truly one of the hardest and darkest times of my life.
I can’t imagine going through that loss alone. The mere thought of it has me rubbing a hand over my sternum at the ache there.
Things between Rosalie and me have definitely been altered. How could they not? Based on the sheer devastation and magnitude of sorrow radiating from every fiber of her being today, she has been irrevocably changed by this loss.
There was a heaviness in her eyes when we said goodbye that I recognized, and I fear it’s going to take quite some time for the playful light I saw only yesterday to return.
I know the path back to oneself after such a tremendous loss is long and arduous. The grief never quite goes away, but it changes into more manageable moments as you move forward with life.
Eventually, the good moments blend with the sad ones, becoming more prevalent and allowing you to appreciate the bits of life you shared with the person you lost. You see them in the little nuances of your day and know they are still sharing themselves with you, even if they aren’t physically there.
It has taken me several years to get to this point; some days it feels like I’m back at the beginning, and I have come to realize that’s okay. But I wouldn’t have gotten here without the support of my family and friends, a community Rosalie has only started to build in Winhaven.
This has me doubling down on my efforts to be a person she can count on, and I know Elodie will join me. My mind begins to spin with all the ways we can show up for Rosalie, letting her know she’s not alone, she has a support system here.
As the bigger plan begins forming in my mind, I don’t think twice as I hit the call button to get the ball rolling.
“Yo!” Beck yells into the receiver.
The sound of televisions and people talking in the background greets me right along with Beck, and I know he’s at the local wing joint with some of his buddies in Carlsburg.
He must step outside because it quiets as he says, “Hey, Cam, to what do I owe this unbelievable honor?”
Unable to jump into our normal ribbing, I get right to the point. “Hey, man, I need your help with some things.”
Hearing the seriousness in my tone, his changes, too.
“Of course, what’s up? Is everything okay?”
“That’s a bit difficult to answer. I’m okay. But remember the woman I told you about at the pub, Rosalie?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Well, this afternoon her mom had a heart attack and passed away. She called me and was a complete mess. She’s just starting to get settled here, and now she’s heading back home to be with her family and organize her mother’s funeral.”
“Holy shit, man, that’s a lot.”
“Yeah,” I say solemnly, reliving the sadness that poured from those first few words she spoke into the phone when she called.
“Like I said, she’s just starting to feel settled, painting the house and setting it up for her and her daughter.
Hell, I was just there yesterday helping her put together some furniture.
I know she’s become good friends with Elodie—who oddly enough is her boss—and Kara, their front desk staff, but she’s still relatively new to town, and I need to do something to help. ”
There’s that pregnant pause at the mention of Elodie, and I briefly wonder what the hell happened with them. They were best friends when we were all younger, but now they barely speak to each other.
Before it gets too awkward, Beck seems to gather himself, clearing his throat and responding. “Yeah, yeah, man. Absolutely, what do you need from me?”
I spend the next several minutes rattling off everything I would like to do before Rosalie returns home, including finishing the paint job in Paige’s room and putting together the remaining furniture.
“Hey, man,” Beck interrupts. “Have you asked Rosalie if she wants help with this stuff? Maybe she doesn’t want a bunch of people in her house while she’s gone.”
Well, that’s a great freaking question. Having grown up in a small town, I didn’t even give it a second thought.
Helping people in any capacity is just what you do.
But Beck’s right; Rosalie’s not from around here, and having people in her space while she’s in Colorado might just increase her anxiety.
“Yeah…” I say sheepishly. “That would be a no.”
Beck snorts a quick laugh. “Always the knight in shining armor, ready to ride in on his horse and save the day.”
“Shut up, man, you didn’t see her, and you know what it’s like to lose someone so close to you.” My tone is tight, and the comment pulls him up short, causing him to abruptly come back to reality.
“You’re right, Cam, I do, and I know we all needed a lot of help after Julianne passed away.
” He clears his throat as if preparing himself to say something uncomfortable.
“Why don’t you call Elodie and see if she can talk Rosalie into letting us help.
From what you’ve said, she’s probably closest to her and will have the easiest time talking her into it. ”
Beck’s a damn genius.
“You’re a damn genius. Thanks, Beck. I knew I could count on you.”
“Yeah, man, just keep me posted and let me know what you need.”
“All right, thanks. I’ll call you back once I talk to Elodie.”
“Sounds good, and Cam?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re doing a good thing for her,” he says, sounding more like himself. “Julianne would be proud.”
The sentiment takes me by surprise, but it feels good to hear.
“Thanks, Beck, it means a lot to hear you say that.”
“All right, you sad sack, get going on your to-do list, and text me if you need anything else.”
I chuckle. “Sure thing. Love you, brother.”
“Yeah, yeah. Love you, too.” And with that, he hangs up.
I don’t even hesitate before dialing Elodie’s number. While the phone rings, I marvel at the fact that one of my best friends is somehow Rosalie’s new boss.
“Hello. Dr. McNeil speaking.”
“Hey, Elodie,” I say through a bit of laughter. “It’s Cam.”
“Oh shit, Cam!” She laughs back. “I was completely engrossed in some labs and didn’t even glance at my screen to see it was you.”
“No worries at all. You’re at work?”
“Oh yeah, there’s no rest for the wicked. And, in this case, the wicked is a horse named Fred who can’t seem to hang on to his fighting weight. He was having some complications of what I suspect is Cushing’s disease, and I had to come back up to the center. But I’m sure that’s not why you called.”
I breathe out a light laugh.
“No, I was actually calling about Rosalie.”
“Oh my gosh, yes. She called me a little bit ago to tell me about her mom, and I’m just heartbroken. I offered to come into town, but she said she was okay, and even though I could tell she was barely hanging on, I didn’t want to push. Everyone’s different after loss, you know…”
Her statement trails off, and I know she’s thinking about how each of us handled Julianne’s passing—some of us clung to one another while others pushed everyone away.
“Wait, how did you know about her mom?”
I clear my throat, feeling awkward that Elodie offered to come into town for Rosalie and she declined, but then called me.
“She actually called me after she called you.”
“Oh!” Elodie’s tone gives away her surprise, but she doesn’t sound hurt. Still, I continue in hopes that my reasoning belies any lingering thoughts Rosalie turned down Elodie’s help for anything other than needing help with Paige.
“Yeah, we talked a lot last night while putting together the furniture, and I told her about Julianne and Addison. When she called, she was distraught, not knowing how to tell Paige about her grandma.”
“Ugh, that must be so hard. I’m glad you were able to be there for her. How was she when you left?”
“Honestly, she seemed so drained emotionally she could do nothing more than put one foot in front of the other. But her conversation with Paige went as well as could be expected, so if for no other reason, I’m glad I was able to be there tonight.”
Elodie hums her agreement.
“That sweet baby. Rosalie has told me so much about her mom and how she helped raise Paige. I can’t imagine how hard that conversation was, and it breaks my heart to think about it.”
“Yeah, there is so much weighing on Rosalie right now, and you and I both know how vital our friends and family were after losing Julianne. I want to make sure she knows she has people here because I don’t think she’ll make it through otherwise. She was completely gutted when I saw her today.”
“I’m in for whatever she needs.”
“Great, because I need you to convince Rosalie to let us do some things for her while she’s home in Colorado.”
I rattle off some ideas, and Elodie and I devise a plan.
“Oh, and I’m really going to need your help covering that ugly ass green color you have going on in the back bedroom of your rental. Honestly, Elodie, it’s hideous!”
“Whoa, buddy!” she says through a laugh. “I didn’t choose that, and my previous tenants sure didn’t ask me if they could slather that color all over the walls! That’s exactly why I told Rosalie she could paint over it when she signed the rental agreement.”
“All right,” I concede. “She was in the middle of doing just that when she got the phone call about her mom. I’d like to get the room painted before she and Paige return. Think you can help me with that, too?”
“Absolutely.”
“Great. Beck is planning to help me put together the remaining furniture. Once you talk to Rosalie call me back, and we can solidify a plan, okay?”
“Um, sure. I can do that.”
The enthusiasm in her tone dulls a bit at the mention of Beck’s name, and I again wonder what on earth happened.
I shake my head to refocus myself. I don’t have time to dwell on them because all my attention needs to be on helping Rosalie, and regardless of her feelings toward Beck, I know Elodie’s is too.
I tell Elodie I’ll wait to hear from her, then we say our goodbyes and I hang up, hoping like hell Rosalie lets us do this for her.
When I’m finally getting ready for bed later that night, there is contentment in my heart and a sense of purpose in my soul.
I feel a certain rightness in a situation that should feel so wrong, given that it’s tragic.
But as I take a deep breath and settle my head on my pillow, I just know I was meant for this moment.