Chapter 20
twenty
Rosalie
“Hey, Rosie, why aren’t you packed yet?”
The deep, familiar timbre of my dad’s voice has me turning toward the door, folded shirt in hand. I’ve been standing in my room staring at the suitcase lying open on my childhood bed wondering if it’s right to leave Colorado and my family this time around.
What if they need me? Or, what if I need them?
“I don’t think I can do it this time,” I say meekly.
“What do you mean? What can’t you do?”
“I don’t know if I can leave.” My voice sounds almost imperceptibly quiet at the admission.
My dad walks toward me and scoots the suitcase to the other side of the bed before taking a seat on the edge and patting the space beside him. Sitting down next to him, it’s not lost on me this week began in a similar manner, and my eyes well up with tears as he puts a comforting arm around me.
“Rosie…” he says calmly, a hint of the no nonsense love he’s always shown me peeking through.
“You can and you will pack up your things and go back to Winhaven. Your mother and I have watched you earn this opportunity with a tenacity any parent would be proud of, and we would never want you to give it up, regardless of the circumstances.”
I catch the tears that spill over, wiping them away with my fingers. “But she’s not here.” The sentence is choked out, and my dad pulls me even closer.
“She is Rosie, she’s in here”—he touches his heart and then mine—“and here.” He taps the side of his head and then mine. “She’s always here and always so proud of you, as I am. Do you understand? And she will be there no matter where you are.”
“But what if you need me?” I know he’s going to have a rebuttal, but I must give voice to all of my concerns. I feel like I’m leaving him and my brothers at a time when they might need me. “We’ve never been through something like this, and what if I’m not here when the worst hits?”
“Rosie, I think the worst already happened,” my dad chokes out, and I squeeze him around the middle.
“But your mom would never want you to give up your dreams because of the what ifs of the world. You know she was always an advocate of living for the future and seizing every opportunity, you said so yourself. You know deep down she would want you to return to Kentucky, and so do I. It’s your dream, sweetheart, and we want to see you live it. ”
I know he’s right, so I nod my head against his chest and reach up with my free hand to wipe my face.
I’m not ready to voice my agreement yet.
I want to soak in this moment with my dad, tucked safely in his arms, feeling protected from the wreckage of our lives.
Eventually, I’ll let go and finally finish packing, but I just need a little more time.
***
Pulling up to our home in Winhaven doesn’t feel as exciting as it did the first time. Life has changed so much in such a short time. Now this moment feels a whole lot emptier.
I grab our suitcases and the small box of my mom’s things my dad packed up for me, and head inside.
When we get to the front door, I look down and visualize a small stone stallion and smile, only to remember the whole point of that hilarious text thread was to tell me the key is under the planter in the back. I drop my things and ask Paige to stay at the front door while I go grab the key.
Returning to the front, I fit the key in the lock and turn, pushing the door to enter. Once inside, I gasp in astonishment.
“Are you okay, Mommy?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. Just surprised by all the things our new friends did for us while we were gone. Why don’t you go to your room and unpack your things?”
As she wheels her rainbow carry-on toward her room, I take in everything around me.
I knew Elodie and Cameron gathered a few people to help out this week, but I just assumed they would be grabbing my mail or watering the plants, the usual things people do when a friend is out of town.
What I walk into is wholly different. Sure, my mail is neatly stacked on the kitchen table, and the few plants I have inside my house are still alive and thriving, but gone are the boxes of unassembled furniture that were stacked around the living room when I left.
With my mouth agape, I walk into the kitchen and find an array of Tupperware containers filled with cookies, brownies, and other treats. I’m floored, and without overthinking, I bring up Cameron’s contact and hit call.
“Hello?”
“Oh my gosh, Cameron, what did you guys do?” I say with every ounce of gratitude I feel infused into my voice. I called Elodie on my way into town to check in and let her know I would be at work this week, but she didn’t mention a thing about all of this.
“Hey, Rosalie, welcome back,” he says with a chuckle. “We told you we would take care of things while you were gone.”
The deep sound of his laughter brings back the memory of his handsome smile, and my lips pull into a smile, too.
“You did. But I didn’t expect all of this, and Elodie didn’t mention a thing all week when I chatted with her.”
“We wanted it to be a surprise. Did it work?” he says, and I can still hear the smile in his voice.
“It did! But you guys didn’t have to do all of this.”
“Does that mean now is a bad time to tell you Elodie and Kara made a meal train at work, and there are premade meals in your fridge and freezer?”
“What?” I shriek into the phone. “Cameron, this is too much.”
“It’s really not, Rosalie, and I hope you’ll let me do more.”
I’m quiet for a moment, just starting to take in that last statement, when he continues. “I’ve been in similar shoes, and I know the future looks bleak right now, but I feel like our paths crossed for a reason. I want you to know when you need someone to lean on, I’m here.”
Although he has said some iteration of this phrase repeatedly throughout the week, seeing the physical manifestation of what they’ve done, his words hit me squarely in the chest, and it feels like he’s knocked the wind out of me.
I gasp for my next breath, trying to hold in the sob that wants to escape.
“Oh shit, Rosalie. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so sorry. I just wanted you to know I’m here for you, we’re here for you. Please don’t cry.”
“No, no. I promise I’m all right. I was just caught off guard by the realization I have friends here to talk to, and it made me a little emotional. Obviously. I just…thank you.”
“You’re welcome. It’s a shitty club to be part of, and sometimes you need someone who really understands.
I’m that someone. I understand,” he says with a sincerity I feel to my core.
“And so are Elodie and Kara. Hell, even Rowan chipped in with a meal, although I wouldn’t go to him with all the warm, fuzzy stuff. ”
I giggle, and it feels good. “Oh, no worries there. Dr. Dickhead and I are just figuring out how to tolerate each other.”
“Did you just call him Dr. Dickhead?” Cameron asks with a chuckle.
“Yeah, it’s what Elodie called him on my first day, and it just stuck. Plus, it’s very appropriate. Anyway, thank you so much again for everything you guys did. I owe you a dinner or ten.”
“I can definitely get behind that idea,” Cameron says in a lighthearted tone. “I’ll let you get back to settling in.”
“Cameron, I know I keep repeating myself, but I have no clue what else to say to convey how much I appreciate all you’ve done.”
“And I’ll keep repeating, it was my pleasure…ma’am.”
I laugh at that, and it feels good. We say our goodbyes and I walk toward my bedroom to drop off my suitcase and other belongings.
I’m about to start unpacking when Paige comes bounding into my room squealing in delight. “Mommy, Mommy! My room isn’t that ugly green anymore and my bookshelves are all set up.”
It takes me a minute to clock what Paige has said, but when I do, I stand and follow her down the hall.
The second I walk in, I shake my head and smile.
That sneaky, sneaky man. He didn’t even mention he’d done all of this on the phone earlier.
Gone is the hideous green, the tarp stained with primer, and the memories of that awful phone call.
In its place is the bright yellow Paige picked out at the store, and just like that a small weight is lifted from my shoulders.
I let out a long exhale and with it some of the tension I’d been holding onto at the thought of returning to the place where my life turned upside down melts away.
“And look, Mommy! A girl named Addison wrote me a note. She said her daddy is your friend. Who’s her daddy?”
Paige, once again, grabs my attention and I turn to find her waving the letter in the air excitedly. I completely forgot to tell her about Addison’s letter, so I’m glad she found it on her own.
“Her dad is Mr. Cameron, and he, along with Ms. Elodie and some of their friends, helped keep our house clean while we were gone. He told me she left you a note. Is it nice?”
“Yes!” she says with significantly more enthusiasm than I’ve felt from her over the past week, and I’m grateful.
“She wants to be my friend, and we both love horses, and we’re both seven, and her favorite color is pink! She thinks mine is yellow because my walls are the color of sunshine, but I should really tell her my favorite color is seafoam green.”
I didn’t think my heart could feel even an ounce of joy right now, but I’m wrong. The generosity of my new friends, of Cameron and his daughter, of the virtual strangers they wrangled to help out, has a sense of warmth emanating from my chest.
What am I going to do with this man? He’s kind, sexy, and so incredibly thoughtful.
Instead of going with another thank you text, I send him a selfie of Paige and me, each with a giant smile, standing in front of her newly painted walls while our hands form a heart.
He returns the text with one of him and Addison making silly faces and giving us a thumbs-up. My smile widens as I tuck my phone in my back pocket and leave Paige to play while I finally unpack our stuff from the past week.