Chapter 19
Tori
The stack of envelopes on the kitchen table mocked me.
Property tax renewal.
Water bill.
Electricity “adjustment” (aka legal robbery).
A warning about the roof needing inspection.
They all sat in a tidy, color-coded pile because I preferred my spiraling panic neatly organized.
I dragged a hand down my face. This house had been in our family forever, and lately it felt like it was determined to bankrupt me out of pure spite.
Gran’s social security was barely making a dent in the endless barrage of bills. The recent surge in the cost of living hadn’t helped either, and any extra money I made was earmarked for buying a new car.
“Nah, it’s fine.” I glowered at the water bill. “Who needs electricity anyway? I’ll become a pioneer. I’ll churn my own butter. Whatever. Can’t be that hard.”
I was mid-breakdown, highlighter in hand, when the front door clicked open.
“Tori?” Kai’s warm voice echoed down the hall, sounding a little too chipper given my current state of mind. “Oi, Tori, you home?”
I froze.
Of course he’d show up unannounced. By this point, we’d become entirely too used to each other, frequently showing up at each other’s houses and even staying the night. But did it have to be right now, when I was literally sitting in the middle of a financial crime scene?
“Kitchen!” I called, shoving a few papers under my notebook. It was a futile attempt, though, because Kai entered the room two seconds later and caught me in the act of trying — and failing — to hide the stack of envelopes.
Judging by his attire, he must have just finished practice. He was still wearing his gym shorts, the thin fabric straining against his thighs, and a worn tank top.
Damp strands of jet-black hair fell into his forehead as he stood in the door frame, looking like he belonged there. Which was becoming a problem in itself.
Stopping short when he reached the table, he shot me a look. “Whoa. This is a lot of mail.”
“It’s nothing,” I said quickly.
Kai eyed the pile. “That’s not ‘nothing,’ Tori. That’s—,” he leaned closer “—that’s government mail. The bad kind.”
I snorted despite myself. “It’s just taxes.”
“Taxes?” His eyebrows shot up. “For the house?”
“Yep.”
“And they’re due when?”
“Soon.”
“Define ‘soon.’”
“When the government decides to take the house and set it on fire.”
Kai blinked. “Right. So … soon-soon.”
I closed my eyes. “Please don’t start.”
He pulled out the chair opposite me, sat down, and looked at me with concern.
“You alright?” he asked softly.
No.
“Yes.” It was a lie.
His eyes flicked to the stack. “Any way I can help?”
“No.”
“Tori—”
“Kai, seriously. I’ve got it.”
He rested his thick forearms on the table, and for a moment I was distracted as my gaze flicked down to the delicious protruding veins running along his arm. Kai studied me with his usual gentle yet aggravating perceptiveness.
“It’s just money,” he said. “You worked your ass off all week. Let me pitch in.”
I stiffened. “No.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Not even a little?”
“No.”
“Love—”
“Don’t ‘Love’ me. You don’t even have a job, Kai! What makes you think you can help me?”
He snapped his mouth shut when I glared at him. There was no trace of insult on his face, though. All I could see was sincerity and genuine concern.
“You don’t have to handle everything alone,” he said quietly, his thick brows furrowed.
“I do,” I murmured. “It’s my family. My responsibility. This,” I gestured between us, “is only temporary, remember? I can’t afford to rely on you.”
Kai clenched his jaw, but he nodded. There was a beat of silence.
“Alright. If you don’t want help with the bills…” His voice took on a gentler tone. “I won’t touch them.”
Relief washed through me, immediately followed by guilt, because the hurt in his eyes was small but unmistakable.
Before I could even try to explain myself, to make him understand, he stood. A surprising bolt of panic shit through me. I hadn’t wanted him here, getting mixed up in my problems, but somehow the thought of him leaving now was worse.
“Okay,” he said, his tone shifting to something light and determined — maddeningly Kai. “If I can’t help with those—” he jerked his chin toward the bills “—I’ll help with everything else.”
I frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
But he was already moving.
As if it were an everyday occurrence, he strode to the sink and began putting away the clean dishes Gran had washed but never put away.
I watched, dumbstruck and utterly frozen.
Next, he opened the fridge, grimaced at the lack of actual food, and started assembling something edible despite not knowing what it was.
Heat climbed my neck. “Kai, you don’t have to—”
“I know,” he said cheerfully. “I want to.”
He flicked on the stove, melting butter in a pan while humming an unfamiliar melody that sounded better than it had any right to.
Kai moved around the kitchen like he belonged in it more than I did, and I almost hated how right it looked. Almost.
“You’re stressed,” he remarked, not looking at me. “Happens. But you shouldn’t be starving because the government decided to mug you.”
“I’m not starving.”
Kai rolled his eyes. When did he get so sassy?
“Suuure, because you never forget to eat.”
As if it had been waiting for its cue, my stomach rumbled and I pursed my lips. Fucking traitor.
He shot me an exasperated look. “When’s the last time you ate?”
“Breakfast.”
“Tori, it’s nearly half past six.”
“… second breakfast?”
That earned me a flat stare, clearly suggesting I was full of shit.
“You need protein,” he determined, cracking eggs one-handed like a showoff.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, Love.” His smile never faltered, as always, but there was an edge to his words, a low warning.
My mouth twitched. “Make me.”
“After dinner,” he promised.
Despite myself, my core heated and the thrill of anticipation shot through me.
Kai plated the food and slid it in front of me, sitting so close our knees brushed under the table. He was warm and solid, and I liked it entirely too much.
“You don’t have to fix things for me,” I whispered, picking at the eggs.
“Not tryin’ to fix them.” His smile was soft and it hit me deep in the chest. “Just trying to make it a bit less shit for you.”
I exhaled slowly, blinking rapidly against the prickling sensation behind my eyes.
“Kai…”
He bumped my knee with his. “Look, I get it. Pride, responsibility, whatever. I won’t mess with anything you don’t want me touching. But I’m not going to stand around with my dick in my hand while you drown in stress either.”
My throat tightened and I was actually fighting back the tears now. Motherfucker.
Kai didn’t just care, he cared in the right way.
The way that didn’t take control from me.
The way that felt dangerously close to having a partner.
I swallowed hard, clenching my teeth so hard I feared I might crack a molar. “I don’t want to rely on you.”
God, I hated being this vulnerable. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone seeing me like this, especially Kai, who just held my gaze with his dark eyes and their soft intensity.
“I’m not asking you to rely on me,” he murmured. “I’m telling you I’m here.”
Something ripped through my chest and I forced myself to take a deep breath.
He’s leaving, I chanted in my head. He’s leaving, he’s leaving, he’s leaving.
Kai reached across the table and gently brushed his calloused fingers against mine. The touch was barely there, but I felt it right down to my bones, as though it had shaken my soul.
“And hey,” he added, pushing his shaggy hair out of his face with a crooked, devastating smile, “if I can’t give you money…”
My head snapped up and my eyes narrowed, but he merely gave me one of his trademark warm but earnest and ridiculously handsome smiles.
Ugh, why did he always have to smile? How was I supposed to keep him at a distance when this is what he constantly threw my way? So fucking unfair.
“… I’ll give you everything else.”
Time slowed down, and my heart stuttered in my chest, almost painfully.
Because he meant it.
Because I wanted it.
Because he wasn’t staying.
I drew in a shaky breath and swallowed hard. His dark, intense gaze searched my face before the corner of his mouth tipped up again.
“You don't make promises you can't keep,” I whispered huskily.
“Good thing I intend to keep them,” he said simply, then sighed. “Don’t know how … at least not yet. But I’ll find a way.”
The logical part of my brain immediately declared bullshit. But my heart came to life again, stuttering and sputtering, and yet it only took a minute for it to pound so hard I feared it might burst straight out of my chest.
That’s when I realized with dreadful finality … I wanted to let him try.
God-fucking-damn it.
The rec center did not smell glamorous. The lingering scent of rubber mats, cheap popcorn, and body odor, which had been unsuccessfully covered up by questionable body spray, had become so familiar to me by this point.
The air was humid and charged, clinging to my skin and filled with the noise and restless energy of fighters pacing in every corner.
I was used to it, but Kai obviously wasn’t.
The way he walked in, flinching subtly and trying not to breathe too deeply, was almost enough to make me forget I was supposed to be nervous.
My name had been scribbled on the sign-up sheet for the regional MMA showcase, wedged between a line-up of men who looked as though they’d sold their souls in exchange for bulk discounts on creatine.
Most of them sported headphones and bounced lightly on their toes while glaring at anyone who happened to linger too long.
It would have been intimidating … if half of them didn't also work at the AutoZone down the street.
This wasn’t the UFC.
In fact, it wasn't even an amateur qualifier.
There was no prize money, no scouts. All you got were bragging rights, sore ribs and whatever bruises you could hide under long sleeves at work.