Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
I t was Thursday.
Ruby’s day off and suddenly Rafe didn’t know what to do with himself. One week of hanging around the bar, and seeing Ruby every night had become a habit. A dangerous one.
He stood and stretched from where he sat on his front porch, his muscles protesting nearly as much as the old wooden steps.
He may have overdone it this morning. He’d run for miles trying to purge Ruby from his system, as though he could sweat her out like some kind of toxin.
He’d returned home exhausted and still couldn’t stop thinking about her.
It was a quiet evening, the fall sun just beginning to sink below the golden treetops. Darkness came earlier in the woods. But Rafe didn’t mind it. Darkness was safety. Solitude.
The gravel road that ran past his house didn’t get much traffic.
Just his own truck and occasionally a lost hiker looking for one of the many trails or campsites in this area.
The post office wouldn’t deliver mail here, so he had a box in town.
No trash pickup. No plowing in the wintertime.
Cell reception was spotty. He hated his phone anyway. No one to call.
Rafe was well and truly alone out here.
Something he’d thought he wanted. He’d done it on purpose after all. Left everything he’d ever known. Everyone. And moved to this cabin in the woods.
It had seemed like his only choice at the time.
He pushed open his front door and flicked on the light. The cramped interior greeted him, crowded with books and overstuffed furniture. He’d become a bit of a pack rat since moving out on his own.
The house wasn’t much. It had been used as a hunting camp before he started renting it from some guy in town, the same one that owned the sporting goods store, from what he heard.
But it was enough for him. A small living space with a kitchenette and a single bedroom.
It had indoor plumbing and heat in the winter which was more than a lot of hunting camps had around here.
It had needed some serious cleaning when he moved in, but it wasn’t too bad now, despite the peeling linoleum floor and the concerning squealing sound the refrigerator made every now and then. Rafe had never been used to luxury. This place suited him just fine.
He strode to the currently quiet refrigerator and pulled out a beer, popping the cap on the edge of the counter. Looking over the room, he tried to imagine bringing Ruby here. What would she think of the wood-paneled walls and the plaid couch that was probably older than her?
Shame flared hot in Rafe’s cheeks.
He’d never bring her here.
For so many reasons, he needed to shake this obsession.
That was what it had become. An obsession. Ever since he’d laid eyes on Ruby, he’d wanted her. More than wanted her. Needed her. His skin didn’t feel right when they were apart, like it was too tight. His lungs didn’t work, didn’t expand enough, didn’t take in enough air. His heartbeat was erratic.
He rubbed a fist over his chest as though he could reset the rhythm.
He couldn’t think straight.
Fuck.
What was wrong with him?
He should go to the woodshop out back and work on Macy’s order.
The shop was really just a shed that had been previously used for processing deer. There were still blood stains on the floor, but that didn’t bother Rafe. He was used to blood.
He usually liked it out there. He liked getting lost in a project, using his hands to make something instead of destroying something.
Making furniture had paid his bills since moving here, and he liked it. Usually. But tonight he couldn’t focus. He’d probably end up making a three-legged table. He took a slug of beer and dropped onto his couch, sinking into the well-worn cushions.
He’d spent far too long alone in this cabin, and most of the time that was fine with him. But lately, the loneliness had opened up its black jaws and threatened to swallow him whole.
Maybe that was all this obsession was, his own loneliness demanding companionship. He was used to being around a lot of people. His whole life he’d been surrounded by family. Maybe being alone for nearly a year now was just too much.
Maybe that was why he couldn’t stop thinking about Ruby.
About her laugh.
And her skirt.
And her lips.
About how he wanted to…
To what ? Rafe shook his head at his own stupidity. It didn’t matter how much he wanted her or what he wanted from her.
He could never have Ruby.
He wouldn’t even let himself try.
He wouldn’t let things end the way they did last time. He wouldn’t have another woman’s blood on his hands.