Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
R afe was spending another night with his new best friend Dolores, washing his whites at the Suds and Spin .
After dropping Ruby off, it had seemed like a good use of his time.
Better than what he’d done the first few times, which was to pace up and down the street and surrounding blocks.
One of the neighbors had called the cops, and he’d had a very hard time explaining himself to Sheriff Mike.
“You’ve got to be at least, what? Six-two? Six-three?” Dolores was saying as she pulled her delicates out of the washer. Rafe tried not to notice the fact that she had a lot of lacy underpants. Like, an alarming amount.
“I’m six-five.”
Dolores snorted. “I don’t know about that. You men, you’re always overestimating inches. You do it with the fish you catch, your height, the size of your?—”
“I’m not overestimating.” He cut her off before she could continue with that disturbing sentence.
She cackled. “Next time I’ll bring a tape measure and we’ll know for sure.” She winked at him and Rafe was suddenly regretting his decision to have clean clothes.
He regretted a lot of his recent choices.
He regretted letting Ruby see his wolf form. He regretted being so honest with her. He regretted passing out hard after that fight. If he hadn’t, he could have slunk off before Ruby ever woke up, but healing always had that effect on him.
He’d made so many mistakes with her already, and he couldn’t afford to.
He knew where those mistakes would lead.
It had been a long time since he’d let himself get this close to a human.
There was only one other time, and he’d been young and stupid, barely twenty when he’d spotted Scarlet on one of their rare trips into town.
He should have stayed away, but he couldn’t help himself. His world had been so bleak then, so dark, filled with his father’s demands, endless fighting with his brothers. And Scarlet seemed like a bright spot in all of that. Like a reprieve.
He shook his head at the memory.
He couldn’t keep Scarlet safe then and, if he wasn’t careful, he wouldn’t be able to keep Ruby safe now. The thought made him sick.
An image from the other night roared through his head.
Ruby was on the ground. She must have been knocked over when he’d ran past her.
Her eyes were huge. Huge and terrified. She’d scurried away from the fight like a crab on the shore, her legs already covered in dirt from her earlier fall.
But it was her eyes that had stopped him.
She was looking at him like he was a monster.
Like the monster he was. He hadn’t wanted anyone to look at him like that again. Especially not her.
He sat down abruptly on one of the plastic orange chairs lining the wall. Dolores looked up in concern.
“You okay, big guy? You look queasy.” She started digging around in her giant quilted bag until she pulled out a peppermint and held it up triumphantly.
It looked slightly crushed, and the wrapper was coated in crumbs.
Rafe wondered how long it had been at the bottom of that bag. He probably was better off not knowing.
“Here you go,” she said, holding it out to him. “Peppermint is great for a sour stomach.”
Rafe took the candy because he felt bad rejecting Dolores’s offer of help.
She was one of his few friends, after all.
And he had to admit as he sucked on the mint, his stomach did feel a bit better.
Not that any of his problems were solved or that he had any idea what to do about Ruby, but at least he felt slightly less nauseous.
He still didn’t understand his reaction to her.
It was like his body couldn’t function unless he was next to her. If Scarlet had felt like a ray of sunshine, Ruby was like a riptide, pulling him under, and the more he struggled against it, the more he was swept away.
His wolf side had never come with more than the instinct to run and hunt, increased senses, and an occasional anger that he struggled to keep tamped down. But it was different with her. His need to throw himself around her and not let anything harm her was stronger than anything he’d ever felt.
It was terrifying and he didn’t have a damn soul to ask about it. He was alone in a world that wasn’t his.
Maybe if he was still with his pack, things would make more sense. Or at least he’d have someone to ask, but Rafe hadn’t seen his older brother in a year, and he barely tolerated the younger one, not that he would admit any of his intensely confusing feelings for Ruby to them.
His father was dead, a fact he liked to remind himself of whenever he felt anxious. And he’d never known his mother. She’d died giving birth to him. His father had refused to get medical attention for her. If she’s strong enough, she’ll survive. That was the old bastard’s way of thinking.
He’d been raised by his stepmother, and the thought of Nell left Rafe with an ache in his chest. She would have something to say about Ruby, some bit of advice for him. But he hadn’t been brave enough to see her over the past year either.
Rafe had been alone for so long, without his pack, without his family. It was what he wanted. It was necessary. But maybe he was forgetting what it was to be a werewolf. Maybe he was losing more than just his people.
Maybe he’d lost his identity.
Maybe he was losing his mind.
“Whatever it is,” Dolores said, patting his knee with her gnarled fingers. “It can’t be that bad. I’ve been through some tough times in my life, but I survived them all.”
Rafe gave her a weak smile. He believed that Dolores had been through plenty.
“It’s a girl, isn’t it?” she went on, nodding like she could see right through him. And for a brief, insane moment, he almost considered spilling his guts to Dolores right here in the laundromat.
“Oh?… uh?… no. It’s not that.”
Dolores waggled a finger at him. “I know a lovesick pup when I see one. But don’t worry, here’s your girl now.” Dolores gestured toward the door right as Ruby came storming through it.
He stood up so fast his head swam.
Ruby skidded to a stop right in front of him.
The air between them crackled; electricity zipped along his skin. He could feel every atom in his body, and they were all reaching out to Ruby.
“Ruby,” he breathed, holding her gaze. She stared back at him, her ruby lips slightly parted, and a flush working its way up her cheeks. Her chest rose and fell quickly, like she’d hurried to get here.
Fuck , she was so beautiful.
And they might have stood there all night, staring at each other, if Dolores’s throaty laugh hadn’t broken the spell.
“You’ve got it bad, kid,” she said, patting his arm.
Ruby blinked. “Hey, Dolores.”
“Ruby.” The old woman nodded, gathering her unmentionables, as she called them, and heading for the door. “Have a good night, you two,” she said, giving Rafe one more wink on her way out.
Ruby raised her brows. “What was that all about?”
“I think I accidentally made a friend.”
“Well, you should feel honored. Dolores doesn’t like most people.”
It was then that Rafe realized it was far too early for Ruby to be done with work.
“What’s wrong?” He scanned her with his eyes, searching for any signs of injury.
But all he found was the gorgeous face he’d already been hypnotized by; her dark hair swept up off her neck, her usual black sweater, the sleeves slipping over her hands, her short black skirt, black tights over thick thighs, the boots he loved so much.
She was all Ruby and she looked perfectly fine.
Exceptionally fine.
Incredibly fine . Physically anyway.
Her lips pursed at his once-over.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. Why are you here? What happened?”
Ruby put a hand on his arm to calm him down, but her touch only ramped up his heartbeat even higher.
“I wanted to ask you to go check on Lena.”
“What happened to Lena?”
“Well, nothing yet, but that guy came back to the bar.”
“He what?” Rafe’s voice dropped into a low growl.
“It’s okay. Macy got rid of him.”
“Did he touch you?” If that bastard touched a hair on this woman’s head, Rafe would tear this entire world apart.
“No! He didn’t even see me. But…” Ruby hesitated like she wasn’t sure if she should tell him the next part.
“Ruby,” he growled. He was barely holding on to his humanity here. He needed to know what happened. He needed to assess just how many people he needed to murder and how painfully.
“He was asking for me. He wanted to apologize about the other night. Oh, and his name is actually Wyatt.”
Wyatt. He frantically tried to think if he knew of any Wyatts in the Highlands pack. No one sprang to mind, but he was having trouble thinking about anything other than Ruby.
“What else?”
“He was asking about Lena, about this one particular story. She kind of knew something before it happened. She predicted it, I guess? It’s become a bit of a town legend, and he was asking about that too.”
“You told me she doesn’t have visions.”
“It wasn’t a vision! It was a feeling .”
Rafe bit down on his frustration. None of this was Ruby’s fault, but Wyatt returning to the scene of the crime was definitely not a good sign.
The Highland pack wanted something from the Bellerose sisters, that much was clear.
And they wanted it bad enough to send some of their pack into County territory more than once.
Even after Rafe had fought him off. It was an insane thing to do.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it mattered at the time. I don’t know what the hell is going on or why he came back or what he wants or…”
“Ruby,” he whispered. He grabbed her arms and tugged her closer. A whimper escaped her lips as she leaned into him, her face pressed against his chest. He let his arms come around her, and she melted against him.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Okay,” she sniffled against his shirt.
He dared to run a hand over her back, along the softness of her black sweater, over the lines and curves of her. She sighed, her arms coming around him too, curling into the back of his shirt.
God, she was a good hugger.
It was such a human thing to do, hug. He’d never seen the appeal until right now.
“But what about Lena?” she asked, still snuggled against him. He would give up his own soul to keep holding her forever.
“Here’s what we’re going to do,” he said, not letting go even though he should , even though holding Ruby was only going to make everything worse in the end. But he couldn’t seem to stop. “I’m going to take you home?—”
“I have to finish my shift. I can’t leave Macy shorthanded.”
He sighed. “Okay, I’m going to take you back to the bar. You’ll finish your shift. You are not going to leave until I come back. I’ll go check on Lena and then come pick you up, okay?”
She sniffled again. “Okay. She’s at Callie’s. I’ll tell them you’re coming.”
“Don’t bother. They won’t see me.”
“They won’t?”
“I won’t be?… me.”
Instead of pulling away at the mention of his other form, Ruby snuggled closer.
“And I’m not leaving you tonight.”
“You’re not?”
“No. I can’t. But I’ll sleep outside. You won’t even know I’m there,” he said, even as he already hated the idea of being separated from her again. Even if it was just by a wall.
She pulled back, an amused expression on her face. “You’ll sleep outside? Like a guard dog?”
“Guard dog?” he growled. He tugged Ruby closer and she had to tilt her head back to look at him. A small smile crossed her face. He wanted to kiss it off her lips.
“Sorry. That was rude.” She sighed and that glimmer of a smile disappeared. “You can sleep inside. I assume you’re housebroken.” She bit her bottom lip, but the giggles burbled up out of her anyway.
Rafe couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth. He was just so damn relieved that Ruby wasn’t upset anymore.
“We can figure it out later,” he said, swiping his thumb along Ruby’s cheek bone. Her mascara had smudged with her tears.
“Okay, and thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
She scoffed. “You barely know me and now you’re driving me around and looking out for me and checking on my sister… It’s?… a lot.”
“Would you rather I didn’t? We could get the police involved instead.” Not that he thought they’d be much help. And the thought of staying away from Ruby made him want to tear out his own hair, but if that was what she wanted?—
“No. I mean, yes? I mean, keep doing what you’re doing,” she said with a smile, and she was looking at him like?… like he could be good .
He cleared his throat, putting his hands back on her arms and gently pushing her away.
“Right. Okay, I’ll go check on Lena. I’ll see you at the end of your shift.”
Ruby frowned, confused at his abrupt withdrawal, but protecting Ruby was one thing. Holding her, having her, was something else entirely. Something he didn’t deserve.