Chapter 49
Chapter Forty-Nine
O ne knock on the door was surprising, but the second in one night was unheard of. He yanked open the door.
“Ma?”
“So, this is where you’ve been hiding all this time?” she asked, her shrewd gaze scanning the outside of his cabin. She was bathed in the yellow glow of the porch light, looking eerily out of place on his doorstep.
“Not hiding,” he snapped.
Nell hummed knowingly. Of course he was hiding. He’d been hiding for a year. He was hiding from Ruby right now.
“Can I come in?”
Rafe nodded, unable to turn her away, and let his mother glide past him into his cabin.
It was the first time anyone from his pack had been in his space.
Having her here sent a shiver of unease through his gut.
This was his sanctuary, and even though his stepmother had taken care of him in his childhood, she’d done nothing to stop his father’s abuse as he got older.
His feelings for the woman were nothing if not complicated, and more complicated feelings were the last thing he needed.
All he wanted to do was curl up in the corner and lick his wounds. Alone.
Nell looked around, taking in the cramped space. She ran a hand over the stack of books on his end table, trailed her fingers over the blankets on the back of the couch, and let out a small sigh that Rafe found unreadable. Was she expecting more?
“What are you doing here?” Rafe sounded like an asshole even to himself, but he didn’t care. The woman who had raised him hadn’t come looking for him in the past year, and he didn’t need her here now.
Nell turned to face him, a crease in her brow. “You left without saying goodbye.”
Rafe nearly laughed. Leaving without a goodbye was the least of his crimes. “Now’s not a good time.”
His mother’s gaze landed on his chest, his various injuries still on display. “What happened?” Her pale green eyes were nearly translucent as she studied him. The concern on her face only tied the knot in his stomach tighter.
“A fight.”
Nell blew out another long sigh, letting her gaze flick over him one more time. “I see you don’t want me in your space. I… I only thought you might need someone to talk to. Family.”
She moved back toward the door while that word “family” burrowed into Rafe’s gut. Why would he need a family now? He’d survived this long without them.
He glanced down at his slashed torso, remembering the look on Ruby’s face when he’d showed up on her doorstep. His stomach twisted again, the pain sharp and desperate.
“Wait.”
Nell froze with her hand on the doorknob.
“Why now? Why’d you come? I know it’s not about some bullshit goodbye.”
She chuckled softly and turned to face him.
“I heard you were making things,” she said, avoiding his question.
“How?”
She shrugged. “Same way I found your cabin. Nymphs talk. I always ask about you.”
Rafe grunted.
“Where’s the girl?” Nell cut to the chase, pinning him with her ethereal stare.
“Home.”
“Oh, Rafe.” Nell shook her head, her hair whispering across her back.
“What?” He couldn’t seem to get more than one word past the hot ache in his throat. His mother was finally here and Ruby was gone. His poor brain couldn’t seem to process it all.
She tipped her head, studying him. “The girl is your Mate. I was sure you knew.”
Rafe’s eyes widened, his heart tripping over itself just hearing his mother voice the truth. “It doesn’t matter.”
It was Nell’s turn to look shocked. “Doesn’t matter? Doesn’t matter! How can you say that?”
“How can you care?” he fired back. “I thought we didn’t believe in that bullshit in our pack? Remember? We mate for strength, and humans are weak.” He turned his back, unable to look at his mother’s horrified face.
“You don’t need to repeat your father’s lies.”
“She’s a human . It won’t work.”
“You can make it work,” she insisted.
Rafe let out a bitter laugh, turning back to face her. “There’s nothing left to make work. She finally understands what I am.” His voice was raw, broken. “I can’t let things end the same way this time.”
“Nothing is the same.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“She’s your Mate, Rafe. That changes everything.”
He let out a strangled groan, the word “Mate” like claws down his back.
“You’ve seen this before then, a werewolf mated to a human?”
“Well, no…”
Rafe scoffed.
“But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible! Your Mate is the other half of your soul, Rafe. Who cares what she is beyond that?”
“How did you know what she was?”
“A mother knows.” She gave him a rare smile. “That’s why I came. I know what you grew up believing. But I know it’s real.”
He flinched. “Not you and my father?”
Nell shook her head violently. “Oh, God no. He wanted me for my speed.”
Rafe swallowed the bile that rose in his throat at the mention of how his father chose his mates.
“But my sister, she left the pack before you were born. She found her true Mate, a lone wolf she met on a hunt.”
Rafe’s heart sped up just hearing that other Mated pairs existed, that they were even possible.
“Devon wanted to pair her with a member of the pack, but she couldn’t bear it, knowing her true Mate was out there. So she left.” Nell paused, her fingers squeezing his forearm. “She couldn’t fight it and neither can you. It will kill you.”
It already was killing him. He’d been apart from Ruby for only a few hours and already he could barely breathe, barely think. What would days of separation do? Years? Hot panic settled in his gut.
“I’d rather die than put her at risk.”
“Is that why you’re all torn up?”
Rafe sighed, leaning against the counter. He took in the sight of his mother standing in his kitchen, her familiar scent filling his nose, and he was just so damn tired of being alone.
“The wolves following Ruby attacked again. I got there in time… She… She’s okay.” Even as he said it, he barely believed it. She was okay. “I chased the bastards down.” He swallowed hard, the memory of the fight still fresh in his mind. “I took care of it.”
Nell ran a hand down his arm, avoiding his injuries. “You always were the sensitive one.”
A startled laugh escaped him. “The sensitive one?”
“These things always bothered you more than your brothers.”
“These things? Killing? Seeing people I love get mauled?”
Nell flinched. “I should have done more. I know that, Rafe. But just know that, as much as you were under your father’s control, so was I. For decades that man controlled everything in my life.” Shadows crossed Nell’s face and a layer of guilt was added to Rafe’s swirl of emotions.
“Well, the bastard is dead.”
Nell nodded. “Yes, he is.”
Silence stretched between them. Rafe didn’t know what else to say. It didn’t really matter if his mother could heal all the wounds of his childhood; he only brought danger into Ruby’s life. Nothing Nell said could change that.
“I think this is bigger than you and her, Rafe. Something is going on. Knox has been?… worried.”
Rafe perked up at that piece of information. “Worried about what?”
“I don’t know. He’s been nervous, tense, as if he knows something is coming, but he hasn’t told us yet.”
“Shit.” Rafe scrubbed a hand down his face. He’d been foolish enough to think he’d ended whatever this was with the Highlanders by killing Wyatt and his buddies. But if Knox was involved, if both packs were involved, this wasn’t going away.
“What did Knox say to you when you told him about the Highlanders?”
“He blew me off. Said he’d send out more patrols.” Rafe grunted in frustration. “Certainly didn’t admit to being involved.”
“I don’t know if he is or not. I only know he’s been acting odd, but he really is trying. For the pack,” she said.
“As long as he’s taking care of you.” Rafe blew out a long sigh, realizing as he said it that it was true. He wanted his pack to be taken care of. If his brother was figuring out how to do that without terrorizing and manipulating everyone, then good for him.
“He is.” Nell glanced at him, looking like she might say more, but she dropped the subject of his brother.
“I should get back. Just think about what I said. Things are different this time, Rafe. This girl is the one for you. Don’t let her get away because of some misplaced guilt.
Don’t be afraid.” She squeezed his hand, her green eyes glinting with tears.
“I’ll think about it.” It was probably all he would think about for the rest of his life.
He walked his mother to the front door. “If you can, I’d like to know if you hear anything that might affect Ruby or her sister.
I still want to…”— Keep her safe, be with her forever, protect her at all costs, wrap myself around her and never let go —“keep an eye on things.”
Nell arched an eyebrow. “Of course. I’ll see what I can find out.” She opened the door into the chilly night. “And don’t stay away so long next time, Rafe.” She reached up on her toes and kissed his cheek.
He wanted to argue. To tell her he had nothing to return for, but maybe that wasn’t true anymore. Maybe his family was worth returning for. “Yeah, we’ll see.”
“Goodnight, Rafe.”
“Goodnight, Ma.” He stepped out onto the porch to watch her go, nearly letting the next words dissolve in his throat, but he forced them out. “You could visit, too. I mean?… you could come back again some time.”
Nell’s face lit up in the moonlight. “I would love that.” She shifted into a sleek mahogany-colored wolf and raced off into the night.