Chapter 1
Chapter One
WILD WICKED MATE
One Year Ago
“T heo,” Fee whispered. “Theo, wake up. I have to stitch your face.” She nudged his shoulder and he winced in pain.
“Leave it,” he rasped. “It’ll heal eventually.”
Phoebe frowned. “It’s bleeding a lot. I really think we should?—”
“Leave it,” he growled, his eyes still closed. The blood had trickled into his hair, stiffening his curls. He needed to be cleaned up, but he’d collapsed into Phoebe’s bed after they ran from the pack lands, and she hadn’t been able to move him.
At some point in the night, he’d shifted back into his human form, making the gash on his face look even worse. Rafe’s claws had slashed him from temple to chin. It was the moment Phoebe thought he was dead, lost to her forever. She hadn’t known she’d whimpered until Rafe’s gaze had met hers.
He’d stared at her with those unnerving, silver eyes that the two older brothers shared, and Phoebe had felt every beat of her heart loud in her ears. She couldn’t believe it when Rafe had backed down. It’d shocked her even more when he’d shifted into his human form and ended the whole damn fight.
He’d saved Theo’s life.
And hers.
Now, in the dim light of her room, her gaze scanned Theo’s bare torso. He was covered in bruises and gashes. It looked painful to breathe, to move, and still, when Phoebe looked at him, she couldn’t help but feel a foolish sort of hope blooming in her chest.
Theo had left his pack. Surely, he couldn’t go back after this. His father would no longer be a threat to them. Maybe instead of having pieces of Theo, she could now have all of him.
For years, her werewolf had insisted that they couldn’t be together. Because of his father. Because it was too dangerous. Because his pack would never allow it.
Which suited Phoebe just fine. She could pretend she was just like any other dryad, spending her time with Theo, the Alpha’s youngest son, but never getting attached. Not really.
She’d rather live in the in-between space he’d carved out for them. In between dusk and dawn. In between her home and his. In between friends and lovers. It was safe here in the in-between. She couldn’t get hurt here and neither could Theo.
Or so she had been telling herself for years.
But now he was in her bed, bloodied and bruised and the in-between didn’t seem like enough anymore. Suddenly Phoebe wanted more.
Theo groaned in pain next to her and she placed a cool palm on his forehead.
“Okay,” she muttered. “But this is my bed and you are bleeding all over it and I did save your ass, so…”
She didn’t expect him to be awake enough to hear her, but his bruised mouth tipped into a small smile. He reached for her hand, and she let him take it, twining their fingers together.
“Sorry, Fee. I’m a horrible patient.”
“True.”
“Just stay here with me.” He tugged her closer and she curled gently against his side not wanting to hurt him.
“Of course.” She whispered the words into his shoulder. He smelled like the forest after it rained, fresh and wild.
His breathing evened out and Phoebe assumed he’d fallen back asleep. Healing took a lot out of werewolves. But then he spoke again, his voice rough yet soft, like he was on the verge of losing it.
“I know I haven’t been the best to you,” he said.
“You’ve been a friend to me.”
He blew out a ragged sound, more scoff than laugh. “I want to be so much more than that to you, Fee.” He cleared his throat, but his voice didn’t come out any stronger when he spoke again. “I want to be everything to you. And now maybe I can.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. What could she say? You’re already everything to me. The thought terrified her enough as it was; saying it out loud would only make it worse.
“Maybe you can,” she agreed, not daring to voice her other thoughts. Not now. Not yet.
Theo brought their still-linked hands to his mouth and kissed hers. “Things are going to be different now. I promise.”
Phoebe just pressed her lips to his shoulder, the only place she felt was safe enough to touch. Theo blew out a long sigh and gave her hand a squeeze. She stayed awake listening to the sound of his breath, so thankful she still got to hear it.
Things are going to be different now.
Phoebe would be different now, but what would everyone think about Fee and her wolf?
She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the voices of her mother, of her aunties and her cousins.
She knew perfectly well how they felt about her and Theo, and none of them understood.
Not a single one could figure out why she’d kept the wolf around for so long.
Only she knew that Theo was funny and sweet and looked at her like he would tear the world down for her.
Phoebe grew up surrounded by women who loved her, but she never had anyone make her feel like she was their heart .
She’d always been one of many, flitting from place to place.
She’d never had someone wanting her just for her.
She’d never had something last this long.
And now maybe they had a chance to really be together.
Phoebe must have dozed off for a few hours, because when she woke up again, Theo’s arms were wrapped around her; he’d pulled her into the curve of his body. He whispered words into her hair, soft, sweet words. Words no one had ever spoken to her before.
“My little Mate.”
Her heart stuttered at the word, the implication.
“Mine,” he growled, his breath wisping across her neck. He sounded like he was fighting someone, arguing about what she was to him, and Fee didn’t realize he was still asleep until his words started to blend together and then fade out altogether.
Mine, her heart echoed.
Phoebe had woken up before Theo, sun slanting in through her window and the words he’d spoken in the night imprinted on her soul. She rolled toward him and studied his face in the early morning light.
He was right. The slash had already started to close up, the skin knitting itself together without any help from her needle and thread. But the bruises on his face and body remained. It would take a few days for him to fully recover.
His eyes fluttered open, and his gaze met hers, soft and vulnerable. She opened her mouth to speak, to tell him she’d heard what he’d said, to tell him she wanted that, too, but she watched as his expression shuttered. A furrow formed between his brows, his lips thinned to a stubborn line.
She watched as realization dawned on him. Realization about what he had done. About what he had said. And just like that, her hopes came to a crashing halt.
This is why we don’t get attached, Fifi. Trees are more reliable than men. Her mother’s voice rang through her head like the world’s most obnoxious alarm clock.
“Theo, I?—”
He sat up abruptly, shaking his head like he could erase the last twenty-four hours from his memory.
“Shit,” he said, resting his head in his hands. “Shit. I can’t believe Rafe fucking did that.”
Wait. What?
“You’re angry with him?”
Theo lifted his head, his eyes flashing with anger. “Of course I am. He broke the rules of the fight.”
Phoebe’s eyes widened in disbelief. “He saved your life.”
Theo scoffed.
“So, you’d rather be dead?”
“Maybe.”
“Theo, what the hell are you talking about? Rafe saved you. You’re free from your pack. We can finally?—”
“Don’t, Fee,” he said, his gaze hardening, every soft place he’d shown her last night turning to stone.
“I’m not fucking free. I’m alone. I can never go back.
” His voice cracked and she almost felt bad for him, almost felt sympathetic to the fact that he’d lost the only family he’d ever known, except she was too busy feeling devastated that he considered himself alone.
Even with her sitting right next to him, even with her ready to bind herself to him forever.
Even with Phoebe right beside him, Theo felt alone.
There was nothing she could do about that.
No way to help him.
She nodded briskly. “You’re right. I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have said it like that.” She got up, pulling a sweatshirt over her tank top.
“I’ll get you some tea and breakfast. You’ll need your strength.
And I’m sure we can find you a place to live, sooner rather than later.
My aunties will know of somewhere.” She was rambling, tidying her room, tossing clothes into drawers, grabbing empty mugs from the night before, anything to avoid looking at Theo’s broken expression.
“Fee, wait?—”
“It’s okay.” She gave him a tight smile. “You need your rest.”
“Not that,” he growled. “Listen, about last night?—”
“You don’t need to explain.” She would not ask for this. She would not beg for Theo to want her, to love her. She didn’t need it.
“I do need to explain, Fee. I fucking do. But I don’t know how. I don’t know anything right now. I’m a goddamn mess.” He gestured down at his battered torso, but Pheobe didn’t see a mess. All she saw was the body that had held her last night. She saw Theo. Her best friend.
“It’s okay,” she said again, softer this time, gentler. Like she meant it. She was determined to mean it. She crawled back into bed and wrapped her arms around Theo. His body rigid against her until finally he gave in, his body shaking with sobs.
“I’m sorry, Fee. I’m so sorry. I just can’t.”
She didn’t need to ask what he meant. She knew perfectly well what he couldn’t do. He couldn’t love her. Not now. Not like this.
He’d promised that things would be different now and even if he’d been asleep when he called her his Mate, he’d made those other declarations when he was wide awake. And now he was taking it all back.
Theo had made her want something she never knew she needed and then he’d yanked it away from her. He had burrowed himself into her life, into her heart. He’d made her? love him and now he’d made her a fool. What would her mother say?
Maybe she was being unfair. Theo was hurting. But so was she. She’d let herself think she could be different from her sisters, but she was wrong. Nymphs didn’t settle down, didn’t tie their lives to anyone.
Nymphs didn’t need anyone. Their souls belonged to the trees, not to wolves.
So, she resolved to remain Theo’s friend. She couldn’t imagine her life without him in it, even now, even after he’d broken her heart. And she didn’t let herself think of those words whispered in the middle of the night.
She couldn’t.
If she did, she would surely go mad.