Chapter 7
brEWER
I know I shouldn’t have been so damn eager when Savannah suggested I take Josie back to my place. A better man would’ve refused. Hesitated, at least. But I couldn’t resist. Couldn’t even pretend like I wasn’t champing at the bit to have her in my home.
Now this curvy angel is sitting beside me in my brother’s truck, fiddling with the sleeve of her sweater like she’s not sure what to do with her hands.
Despite the woodsy smell in here, I can still catch Josie’s syrupy-sweet scent as I drive through the snowy forest toward my cabin.
We don’t speak. The howling wind outside is the only sound between us, and the silence feels charged as hell after our conversation at dinner.
There’s this one guy…he never even looks at me…
My hands tighten on the steering wheel, heart thumping as my cabin comes into view, barely visible through the swirling snow.
I pull up outside and slide out of the truck, opening the door for Josie to get out.
It’s a long way down for her, and I reach for her waist, sucking in a breath when she grips my shoulders tight.
My hands linger once I’ve helped her to the ground.
I don’t want to let go, but the icy wind is biting at our exposed skin, making Josie shiver.
I guide her up the porch steps, opening the cabin door and following her inside.
The storm turns muffled once I close the door behind us, the sudden quiet making my ears ring.
It’s cold in here. I can hear the chatter of Josie’s teeth from beside me, and I make a beeline for the fireplace, striking a match and stirring the kindling.
“Come here,” I tell her once the fire is roaring. “Get yourself warmed up.”
“Thanks, Brewer.”
My pulse jumps at the sound of her sweet voice behind me. I never thought I’d hear it in my cabin. Hell, it’s hard to believe she’s really here as I straighten up from the fire and move aside, watching her approach. She holds her hands out to the dancing flames, snowflakes melting in her hair.
“This place is gorgeous,” she says, turning her head this way and that to take in the living room.
“Thanks. Can’t take all the credit. Clay helped build it.”
My cabin isn’t huge, but it’s homey, with thick rugs and brown leather furniture. When it’s light out, the windows look right over Sugar Creek, snaking through the trees like a glittering ribbon of silver. It’s completely secluded, hidden away from the world, and usually, that’s just how I like it.
But it’s different with Josie here.
She’s so fucking beautiful that I swear it makes the whole room brighter—lit up by her presence. It’s intoxicating. I feel like a moth drawn to the flame, desperate to be close to her, to pull those thick curves against my body until there’s nothing between us.
Goddammit, Brewer.
Control yourself.
But it’s easier said than done. Every second that passes with this angel under my roof makes it harder to keep my distance, and I drag a hand over my beard with a heavy sigh, desperate for a distraction.
“Let me show you where you’re sleeping,” I say, starting down the small corridor that leads off the living room.
I hear Josie follow, the floorboards creaking beneath us as we reach the door at the end, which I push open to reveal the spare room.
It’s not much. Just a bed and a dresser.
Never have any use for it as a bedroom, so one wall is lined with storage boxes, mostly full of tools.
“Sorry for the mess.” I shove the storage boxes farther back into the room.
“It’s okay,” Josie says. “The bed is all I need, anyway.” She gives me a small smile. “Thanks again for letting me stay.”
“No problem. Just wish I could give you somewhere nicer to sleep.” I frown at the boxy little room. “I can sleep in here. You can take my room across the hall.”
“Thanks, Brewer, but this room will do fine. It’s really cute.”
I nod, swallowing hard. It was a bad idea for us both to come in here. We’re barely a foot apart in—boxed in with nowhere to go. It feels dangerous as hell to be alone with Josie like this, standing so close to a bed…a bed I want to throw her down on…make the springs groan and the headboard shake…
Fuck.
My cock stirs, swelling against my boxers as I look at Josie. Her bright green eyes blink up at me, and tension wraps itself around my lungs, squeezing tight until it feels like I’m about to suffocate.
“We should probably talk about earlier,” I murmur.
Josie’s freckled cheeks turn pink. “What about earlier?”
“What you said about me ignoring you.”
She breaks eye contact, looking down at her feet.
“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbles.
I frown. “It matters to me. Matters a hell of a lot.”
“Honestly, I don’t know why I even mentioned it.” She shakes her head, looking annoyed with herself. “It’s not like you owe me your attention. I’m just the girl who serves you breakfast at the diner.”
“That’s not true.”
Her gaze flickers up to meet mine, and I take a step forward, so close to Josie that we’re almost touching. She has to tilt her head right back to look at me, her auburn hair streaming down her back.
“You’re more than that,” I tell her. “Much more.”
For a moment, we don’t move. Don’t breathe.
“Then why have you spent a month refusing to look at me?” Josie asks, her voice barely a whisper.
I open my mouth to reply, but I don’t know how to tell this perfect girl how I feel…
how I’ve been obsessed with her since day one, and desperate to fight it because she deserves better than a grumpy old brute twice her age.
I was convinced she could never want me.
Convinced the unbearable longing I felt was all one-sided—the pathetic obsession of a middle-aged man who should know better.
“Brewer?” Josie asks after a few moments of silence, my name like a quiet prayer on her lips.
Everything I’ve ever wanted to say to her sticks in my throat, frustration coursing through me.
I wish I were better with words. Better at talking about my feelings instead of hiding them.
But as she looks up at me, all soft and sweet and beautiful, I feel my restraint snap.
All the emotion—the weeks of frustration—it all bubbles to the surface until it feels like my skin is boiling.
I can’t tell Josie how I feel.
But I can show her.
I lift my hand to her face, cupping her soft cheek and running my thumb over her bottom lip. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t flinch at my touch.
“Come here, beautiful,” I mutter, heart thumping.
Our noses brush as I lean in. I don’t hesitate. Don’t second-guess myself. I grip the back of Josie’s neck and capture her lips in a bruising kiss.
Fuck yes.
The dam finally bursts, desire rushing through me as I savor the feel of Josie’s mouth—warm and soft. I hold her closer, pulling her body flush against mine until she makes a noise in the back of her throat, a quiet moan that nearly undoes me completely.
I can’t get enough.
Every second I’ve spent pretending I didn’t want her, every morning I’ve walked out of that diner telling myself I could keep my distance—it all shatters the moment she kisses me back.
Her arms wrap around my neck, a shuddery breath escaping her mouth as I suck on her bottom lip.
My cock stirs between us, straining against my jeans, all my blood rushing downward as my hands grab at her soft curves, desperate to touch every inch of her. I want more. Need more.
Then Josie tugs away from me.
She takes a few stumbling steps back, and we stare at each other across the tiny bedroom, breathing hard.
Her lips are red from our kiss, her sweater rumpled where I’ve been running my hands over her body.
I’m already cold without her, desperate to close the gap once more, but the look in her eyes keeps me frozen in place.
“What’s wrong, Josie?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I can’t do this.”
My stomach sinks to the floor. “Why not?”
“I just…I can’t…” There’s a beat of silence while she tries to find the words. “I can’t handle all these mixed messages.” She takes another step away from me, her back almost against the wall. “One second you can’t even look at me, then you’re kissing me like…like that.”
“Josie—”
“I don’t do casual hookups,” she continues, talking fast, “so if that’s all this is to you—”
“It’s not like that.”
I can’t resist stepping toward her, grabbing her hands in mine. My heart squeezes at the sadness on her face, and all I want to do is wrap this angel in my arms and hold her tight.
“Listen to me, Josie…I don’t do this. I don’t…I’ve never—” I stop, jaw tight, trying to find the words. “Fuck, what I’m trying to say is there’s nothing casual about the way I feel.”
Something shifts in her expression—the sadness giving way to something softer, more uncertain. Like she wants to believe me but doesn’t dare to get her hopes up. It’s enough to crack me open.
Because I did this.
As I look at this perfect girl standing in front of me, eyes glistening, hands trembling slightly in mine, I know it’s my fault she’s standing here doubting herself.
My fault she spent a month feeling invisible.
I was so consumed with fighting my own feelings—so convinced I was doing the right thing by staying away—that it never once crossed my mind what my silence was doing to her.
What she must have thought every morning when I walked into that diner and acted like she didn’t exist.
I’ve been such an asshole.
But she’s still here. Still holding my hands. Still looking up at me with those big green eyes like she wants to believe me. Like she sees a man, instead of the giant monster that most people see.
I need to fix this before I lose her forever.
She spent a month thinking I didn’t want her.
I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure she never thinks that again.