Chapter Thirteen
“Fuck!”
Big Dick launched the flowers across the damn parking lot. If there was no one at the clubhouse, he would have jumped all over them and destroyed them. A bunch of fall wildflowers had been sent to Larissa, complete with a note, asking if they could talk.
According to the courier, the note hadn’t been read, and the flowers had been sent back. This had happened with the chocolates, the ice cream, the piece of jewelry, which he knew was going to be a hard sell. Everything he could think of was rejected. He was not used to this.
It had been two weeks since finding out about Larissa’s pregnancy. The only time he got to see her was when he camped out at the diner, and he’d been camping out there a lot.
“Did those flowers offend you?” Hunter asked.
“Fuck off.”
He was not in the mood to play games. Pulling out his cell phone, he pressed on Larissa’s number and dialed. Only, it was cut off, telling him the number he’d dialed was no longer available.
“If that’s Larissa you’re trying to get ahold of, she changed her number.”
“What?” Big Dick put his fingers against his temples. The urge to hit something was so fucking strong. He couldn’t hit Hunter at the moment. If he did, Harlow would be pissed, and seeing as she was close to her due date, he couldn’t exactly allow her to stress. She had to remain calm.
When did it become this hard to speak to a woman?
“Do you have her number?” Big Dick asked.
“Nope. She has given it to a select few people, that is all.”
“Smokey will have it,” he said, marching past him. Harlow would have the number, but there was no way his sister was going to give him Larissa’s number. He had a better chance of getting it from Smokey.
Stepping into the main clubhouse, he ignored the guys who were riding different pussy. There was a time he might have stood and enjoyed the show, but not now, and not for a good long while.
He stepped into Smokey’s office without knocking, and immediately stepped out at the feminine scream.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Big Dick said.
Smokey had his wife spread across the desk, and was enjoying himself.
“What the fuck do you want?” Smokey yelled.
“Larissa’s number,” he said.
“Fuck off,” Smokey said.
“I need to get in touch with her.”
“I said fuck off.”
Big Dick usually took orders, especially from Smokey, but there was a tiny little hiccup. He was going to be a father, and he was struggling to get in touch with his baby’s momma. He needed that number. Alive or dead, at least he would have fought to the end.
He heard Hunter wince as he covered his eyes, and then stepped into the room. This way, he was being completely respectful, because he was not looking at Ava, but he was also determined to get what he wanted.
“Are you for fucking real right now?”
The bonus was, Smokey might be so pissed off that he would be more than happy to beat the ever-loving crap out of him.
If he had the time, he’d have gone hunting for one of the Twisted Bastards MC, but as it was, he was currently trying to stay close to home to keep Larissa safe, but he also needed to talk to her. Getting in a fight with Smokey was just going to have to do.
“I need that number.”
“Big Dick, I swear, if you don’t step out of this room right the fuck now, you’re not going to need to worry about fathering any more kids, because I will cut your dick off and feed it to you.”
Big Dick turned and stared at the door. He was not about baring his soul. He was a playboy. He liked to take life completely easy, not live on the edge. It was all about fun and laughter, and right now it was anything but.
“Do you have any idea what it is like?” he asked.
“Big Dick!” The warning was in his voice, but he wasn’t listening.
“I’m going to be a dad. I don’t even know if I ever wanted to be a dad, but I’m going to be a dad to Larissa’s baby.
Larissa, a woman so far out of my league, it’s not even funny.
” He laughed just thinking about it. “I mean, come on, we all know it’s not possible for me to find a woman like Larissa.
The women I fuck are the kind that have already been on a hundred dicks.
They know the score, but Larissa ... I didn’t think about that bet.
I didn’t think about anything to do with it.
I fucked up and I know this. I know it’s not going to be easy to win her over.
She’s proving that. I’m not going to let her do this alone.
I know I’ve already broken her heart, destroyed her trust, and that is all on me.
No one else. Please, I just need her number.
You can beat the shit out of me. I don’t care. ”
“I can’t give you that number. You ruined her trust, and in all honesty, she didn’t want to give it to me,” Smokey said. “You’re going to have to do this the old way.”
“The old way?”
“Showing up. You want my advice, take every piece of rejection. If you want to be in Larissa’s life, if you want to win her back for the long haul, then don’t give up. Do not back down, even when it feels like there is no fucking point. Just keep going.”
Big Dick didn’t feel invigorated. He felt fucking deflated. This was not good. He couldn’t just call Larissa and talk to her.
“I’m sorry,” Big Dick said, and stepped out of the office. Smokey was going to beat the shit out of him later.
He stepped out of the clubhouse and went to his bike, straddling the machine.
He turned the ignition over and felt his baby purr to life.
It was one of the sweetest sounds in the world.
He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel, and then he took off.
He had to clear his head, and the only place to do that was the open road.
Speeding up, he took to the open road, leaving the clubhouse, Fort Clover, and everything else behind.
He cut off the thought of Larissa, of the baby, of the trouble with Twisted Bastards MC, and his desire to hunt Cadeon and make him pay for everything he had done to the club.
Once on the open road, he didn’t care about the speed limit, just the freedom of not thinking, of not feeling. Just doing.
Everything faded as he concentrated on the road, and once he felt that freedom, he began to slow down.
And his thoughts returned. There was only one person he cared about. One person that mattered to him. One thought that kept consuming him.
Larissa.
In his head he remembered the fun they had. Not the sneaking around, but when they were together.
She would touch him, and not sexually. Just reach out with affection and touch his arm or his shoulder.
Sometimes, she even touched his chest and stomach.
He lived for the laughter in his eyes, he craved it.
And now it was gone, and he had to get it back.
He missed it more than he ever thought possible.
Bringing his bike to a stop, he took several deep breaths, then turned around. Riding away was not going to solve his problems. It helped to clear his mind to focus on what he needed to fix.
Twisted Bastards MC were a problem, but he would be ready for them.
Cadeon was a man who needed to die, and he would get to that very soon.
Everything else could be dealt with in time, but the only person he cared about, the only person that held his focus, was Larissa. She was not someone he wanted to wait for. His time was running out.
She said she loved him, and he needed to get her to have those feelings, or to realize those feelings again. She had to. He needed her to.
Riding back to Fort Clover, he didn’t break any speeding law. He just rode his bike, and built momentum, keeping to the speed limit as he tried to figure out a way of winning her back.
Love was such a powerful emotion. There had been a lot of things he loved over the years. Sports, naked women, pissing off his parents, partying, sex, riding, being an MC, earning his patch. He loved his sister and his brothers. He also loved his parents.
He arrived in Fort Clover.
What did he feel for Larissa? He couldn’t form the words. He couldn’t live without her. He didn’t want to live without her smile, or her laughter. The sound of his name, George or Big Dick, on her tongue. He missed waking up with her. He missed taking showers with her, holding her.
Larissa hadn’t fallen for him right away.
She had made him wait. They had built something together, and as he stepped into the back of the bakery, he looked toward Larissa, who was once again wearing her dresses.
He felt it like a slap to the face, a kick in the gut, and it took him completely by fucking surprise.
He had feelings for Larissa, he figured he had cared about her, but the truth was, the way he felt about her was real, and it was strong. It wasn’t that he just cared about her. He fucking loved her, and he hadn’t even realized that until this very moment.
He loved Larissa Adams. She was his world.
This is why it had been so fucking hard. Why he had to stay away, because staying away was better than being rejected, even though he knew he deserved it. He had broken her trust. Larissa thought everything between them had been a lie. It hadn’t. He’d been lying to himself.
This love hadn’t happened instantly, but it had grown.
She had always caught his attention. Whenever he saw her around town, he figured it was annoyance at her constant openness and trustworthy disposition.
It wasn’t. Plain and simple, he couldn’t look away.
She was his flame and he was nothing more than a moth.
When she came to the clubhouse to clean, he had no choice but to deal with those feelings, day in and day out. He had tried to ignore them. He wanted her to hate him, so he didn’t have to acknowledge these fucking feelings.