11. Lizzy
Chapter 11
Lizzy
“ Y ou make a really good meatloaf,” I tell Noah. We’re sitting on his back porch steps and eating the food he made as the sun is taking its final bow of the night. It’s painting the sky in hues of pink and purple that remind me of cotton candy.
“I had a good recipe,” he quips, stretching out his long legs. We’re sitting so close that our thighs are touching. I’m pretty sure the only reason that Noah insisted on eating outside is so that we’d stop making love long enough to actually eat. It took us three tries just to make it into the kitchen.
“Tell me something about yourself,” he says. His flannel shirt is open, exposing his big chest. The wind keeps flapping it open even more, as if nature also appreciates the fine view.
“What do you want to know?” I ask, trying to keep my tone light. Everything with him is still so new, and I don’t want to mess it up.
“What made you start reading?” In the distance, two horses graze in the sweet pasture grasses. The wind blows softly, tickling my head. I didn’t put my wig back on. I didn’t feel the need to wear it. He says I’m beautiful without it and I’m starting to believe him.
“I just liked the library as a kid.” I think about everything that Noah has told me. He’s opened himself up to me about his own past, and maybe it’s my turn to be brave now. “Like you, I was a foster kid. My mom was a drug addict. Sometimes, I lived with her for a few months then a foster family for a little while. I was always bounced around.”
I set my empty plate on the step beside me. “The stories allowed me to escape into other worlds. My life was unpredictable and scary. When the homes were really bad or my mom was high, I would take my sleeping bag and camp out in the library at night.”
Noah wraps his arm around my shoulders. The weight of his touch gives me strength to continue telling my story. “My favorite library had these glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling in the children’s section. I used to sleep under them. I promised myself that when I had a real home with a real family, I would put those stars everywhere. On all of my ceilings.” I shake my head, thinking about the little girl I was. “It’ll be different for our kids, right?”
“Fuck, yeah, it will be. Our kids are going to have two parents that adore them and each other. They’ll always be warm and safe and loved.” His voice hitches on the last word. I think that like me, Noah has spent his whole life wondering if anyone loves him.
I wish I were braver. I wish I could find a way to tell him how I feel about him, how strong and kind and brave I think he is. But the words are stuck in my throat and won’t come. Since I can’t find them, maybe I can show him how I feel.
I press a soft kiss to the side of his neck, inhaling his calming scent of pine needles and leather.
He continues, “We’ll do fun family stuff together. Like camping and fishing. I’ll teach them how to…” His voice trails off when I suck on his warm skin.
“Does that feel nice?” I purr. I’ve never thought of myself as beautiful or sexy, but Noah makes me feel like that. He makes me think I could be a seductress. I run my fingertips down his abdomen.
His body shudders underneath my touch as I drop to my knees in the soft grass next to the porch steps. He calls my name with a groan when I flick the button on his pants open. “Wait…”
I run my fingers over the jean-clad bulge, anticipation thrumming through me. He’s gotten his hands and tongue all over my body. It’s only fair that I get to touch him. “Do you not want me touching your big cock?”
As soon as I say the words, my face goes red. I’ve never tried talking dirty with anyone, but Noah growls in the back of his throat as I continue stroking him through his pants. “Not sure…how gentle…I can be…”
“I want everything you can give me.” With those words, I reach for his zipper and free his cock from his pants. His skin is hot against my palm, and I love the weight of him. He’s so thick that I can barely work my fingers around him.
A bead of moisture is already clinging to the tip. I duck my head, licking it from his body. He tastes salty and warm. I’m surprised by how much I like this. Leaning forward, I run my tongue over his shaft to a chorus of his moans. I love knowing I have control over this big, strong cowboy with just my mouth.
“Fuck, fuck…that’s too good.” He grips the wooden steps so tightly that his knuckles turn white.
I slip the head between my lips and swirl my tongue around the tip. Slowly, I ease more and more of him inside until he’s bucking against my throat. His head is thrown back as he stares up at the darkening sky, saying the filthiest things about how good I feel and how well I take his big cock.
He tries to pull away when he’s about to come, but I don’t let him. I drive my nails into his thighs, holding him closer. I want to give this man every second of pleasure I can. I want to take care of him the same way he always takes care of me, so I swallow every drop of his come.
After, he pulls me into his arms, holding me against his chest. I can hear his pounding heart, and I can’t help smiling. I did that to Noah. I drove him crazy and made him that way.
He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “You’re my girl.”
Cuddled here in his arms, I feel a little bit hopeful. Maybe I can finally have the family I’ve always dreamed of. Maybe Noah and I can make cute babies together, adopt a few more cats for Mr. Darcy to play with, and spend our days building a family right here on his farm.
Three days later, Noah stops his truck outside of his mom’s house. We’re here for a family dinner. I wanted to get out of it, but I couldn’t think of an excuse that wouldn’t hurt Noah’s feelings. He’s spent the last three days so happy. But as his happiness grows, so does the knot in my gut. The one that says this can’t be real. It’s not my life. Every day, I’m waiting for the moment that he decides I’m too much trouble.
“Relax. They’re just people,” Noah says, touching my knee and interrupting my thoughts. He thinks I’m nervous about meeting his family.
I clutch the cherry pie on my lap even tighter. Noah and I made it together this morning. Actually, that’s not right. I was pitting cherries at the kitchen counter when he came in and started licking the sticky juice off my skin. Next thing I knew, he was between my thighs, making me come on his tongue.
“We won’t have to stay long. Just put in an appearance,” Noah promises me.
I shake my head, not wanting him to miss out on time with his family. “No, let’s stay a while. I’m excited to meet them.”
He gives me a look like he doesn’t quite believe me then he’s pressing a soft kiss against my lips. When he pulls away, he strokes my cheek with his thumb. “I can’t wait to show you off to them.”
Without waiting for me to respond, he leaves the truck and jogs around to my door. He helps me down, his hands lingering on my hips a beat longer than necessary. He’s always touching me, and I love how affectionate he is.
He pulls my hand into his as we walk up the steps, but fortunately, he doesn’t say anything about how clammy my palms are.
Maybe if I can just get his family to like me, we can be together for a little while longer. Because when Noah finally decides I’m not worth the trouble, it’s going to break my heart.