14. Noah
Chapter 14
Noah
I t’s not just that Lizzy isn’t in my bed. I can’t feel her presence in the cabin. Despite the sun shining in through my window, it’s cold and lonely here. I don’t bother calling her name as I search the place. It’s not lost on me that every trace of her is gone. Her clothes aren’t strewn everywhere, the toys for Mr. Darcy are missing, and so are all her toiletries from the bathroom.
I knew she’d run from me eventually though I’d hoped it wouldn’t be the case. But it doesn’t matter how many times she runs, I’ll always be the cowboy that goes after her.
I don’t bother to eat breakfast or shower. I just throw on some old clothes, brush my teeth, and I’m out the door in my truck. It’s normally a long drive into town, but I make it in half the time because I’m so damn eager to see my girl.
I stop my truck in Walt’s driveway and take the steps up his porch two at a time. I bang loudly on the front door until he comes out, scowling at me. “Why is there a burr up your butt this early in the morning?”
“Where is she?” I ask, my heart in my throat.
Guilt flashes across his expression. “Who?”
The same sense I got at dinner the other night with him is back again. But I’m too eager to find Lizzy and reassure her to worry about him. “Lizzy. Where is Lizzy?”
He relaxes, understanding crosses his features. “She texted me last night that she was at your place. I haven’t seen her this morning.”
I move past him and stomp down the hallway. But her room is also empty. All of her things are there though, like she just stepped out.
I decide to check the bookstore next. I want her back in my arms. I want to feel her head nestled under my chin. I want to remind her that she’s my whole world and nothing she says or does can ever change that.
After Walt’s place, I check the book shop. It’s still closed, and the lights are off when I pull up. Her truck isn’t in the parking lot either.
I search all over town, starting with the library. Finally, it’s mid-afternoon, and I’ve canvassed every possible shop, store, and random location where she could be. I’ve texted her a dozen times and tried to call her several more, but her phone is off or out of service.
So, I call the one person I know who will always have my back. It only takes Barrett twenty minutes to make it into town.
“What the fuck?” He asks when he sees me, his gaze raking over me. “You said it was an emergency.”
“Lizzy is gone,” I blurt out the words. My heart feels cracked open in my chest. I know I’m going to win her back, but that’s tough to do when I don’t know where she is. Panic is finally settling in. What if I never find her?
Barrett puts a hand on my shoulder, his presence grounding me. “Has she left you or the town?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. Town, I guess. I can’t find her anywhere.”
“We’ll find her,” he promises. “Now stop and think. When I was a kid, I always pulled runners. But it was the same three locations. Where would Lizzy have gone if she needed to feel safe?”
I think about what she told me about escaping to libraries when the foster homes she was in were bad. “A library. She would have gone to a library. I already checked the one here.”
“Then we’ll canvas every library in a hundred-mile radius. She probably hasn’t gone far,” he reassures me.
I start toward my truck. “I need to make some calls, and I need you to gather some supplies.”
Lizzy
An eerie noise startles me, and I look around the darkened library. I drove last night until I ended up in a little town called Mount Bliss. I spent the day hanging out at the library. When the place was closed, I snuck in through a back door and spread out a sleeping bag on the floor.
I finally realize the spooky noise is nothing more than a branch scraping along the windowpane and let out a breath.
I pop open a can of cold pasta and look at Mr. Darcy, who is dining on some premium canned cat food. He’s barely looked at me since we left Courage County. I suspect he’s mad at me for taking him away from Noah.
“It’s better this way,” I tell him. “We have to leave before we get attached. Because strays like us aren’t wanted.”
No matter how many times I’ve told Mr. Darcy that, he still hasn’t forgiven me. The truth is, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. Every time I think of Noah, something twists in my chest and my heart feels too small for my body. I keep wondering if you really can die of a broken heart.
Another noise sounds, more branches scraping against the windows.
I hate that I’m not with Noah right now. Ever since I left, I’ve known I made a mistake, but I’m scared to go back. What if he tells me he doesn’t want me? What if I hurt him just as badly as I hurt myself?
I could call him, except that I tossed my phone out.
For one wild second, I consider going to the front desk and grabbing the old landline phone. I could dial Noah’s phone number. But what would I say? Would he even come get me if I told him that I made a huge mistake, or would he say that I’m not worth the trouble and leave me here stranded where I deserve to be?
The air conditioner kicks on, and I drop my ravioli. Fortunately, the sauce just lands on my shirt and not the carpet. I toss my food out. I’ve barely been able to eat. Nothing tastes good anymore.
I use my flashlight beam to make my way across the lobby. With a deep breath for strength, I grab the phone and dial Noah. He doesn’t answer, probably because the number isn’t familiar. Even if it were, I wouldn’t expect him to take my call. Not after the way I ran from him.
The second time I dial him, the phone goes to voicemail again. Even if he never listens to this message and deletes it unheard, I still want to tell him. My voice is shaky when I say, “It’s Lizzy. I got scared and made a mistake. I’m sorry. I wish…I wish I could go back. I’d try to talk to you first instead of running like a coward.” My voice breaks. “You were the first person that ever felt like home.”
I hang up the phone, unable to keep talking anymore. Tears are streaming down my face as I walk into the bathroom.
It takes me close to twenty minutes, but I manage to compose myself and wash the stain out of my shirt in the sink. My face is a mess and I’m not wearing my wig. All I want to do is go back to Noah.
Once I’m done with my cleanup, I head back to the lobby. I set up my sleeping bag at the back of the library near the door in case I need to bolt.
The lobby is no longer dark. All the lights are on, and there are sleeping bags everywhere. It’s a circle of sleeping bags and right in the middle is Noah. He’s sitting on the carpet, staring up at me with a soft expression.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him as my heart skips a beat. There are people in these sleeping bags. I glance around, recognizing Noah’s brothers and his mom. His sister and her husband are here. Even Walt is in his own sleeping bag. Why are they all here?
Noah gazes up at me, his face filled with the same tenderness as it always is. His deep voice is a rumble when he says, “You have a family, and family sticks together.”
I blink, trying desperately not to cry. This can’t be happening. “You’re crazy. You can’t want me. I left you.”
He stands, getting to his feet. He crosses the library floor with slow, even strides. The fluorescent lights reflect off his bald head.
“You are never leaving me,” he says, swearing quietly with conviction. “Even if you run a million times, I will come for you. Your family will come for you. This,” he gestures around the room, “is what family does. It shows up on our darkest nights.”
“Noah,” I whisper his name as the tears I’ve been battling finally start to fall.
He continues, “I’m not asking you to overcome a lifetime of fears and insecurities in a single night. I am asking you to let me love you through it.”
I cry harder, the tears coming even faster. I can’t believe he came all this way, that he’s really standing in front of me.
“With every breath in my body, I want you forever.” Noah finally reaches out and touches me, his hand cupping my face.
“Forever scares me,” I admit with a sniffle. “Can we take it one night at a time?”
He chuckles. “We can take it as slow as you need.”
I throw myself into his arms, unable to hold back any longer. The moment I do, our friends and family break out in applause. All of them are here. They’ve come to bring me back to Courage County, where I belong.
I look up at Noah. “Can we go back to your house now?”
“Our house,” he gently corrects as he kisses me again.
On the drive, Noah holds my hand the entire time. He doesn’t fuss at me or berate me. He doesn’t even seem mad at me. If anything, he just seems relieved and happy that I’m here with him.
For the first time, I find myself wondering if maybe love can be simple. Maybe it can be people that care about you, wanting to be with you.
He parks his truck in the driveway. I gaze at his house with new eyes. He called it our house. It’s mine. I have a hot cowboy who loves me, a family that searched for me, and a house now.
“Let me show you something,” Noah says softly, tugging me up the walk.
There are no lights on in the windows, the place is completely dark as we step into the living room. But the sight that greets me has me choking back another sob. There are green, glow-in-the-dark stickers on every inch of the ceiling.
Noah puts his arm around me and whispers, “Welcome home.”