Chapter 14 #2
I hate that she has to brace herself for this as much as I do, that even though she didn’t personally experience what happened that night on the homestead, the fallout of it so deeply affected her that she has to physically prepare to hear me talk about it.
Not so long ago, I used to seek out ways to hurt this woman. Chose my words specifically for how they would hit the mark and the resulting wounds they might leave her. I wanted them to sting the same way her attacks on me did…
So much has changed.
I never thought I would want to talk to anyone about what happened that night. What I saw. What I felt. Certainly not the town gossip columnist with a chip on her shoulder and a deep-seated hatred for me.
Yet somehow, having her here like this, her body weight resting against me, relaxing in this warm water with the beauty of the mountain surrounding us, the sun above and the birds flying over us so freely, it feels like the right time and the right place. Somehow, even the right person.
Out here I can breathe. With her in my arms, I can remain here instead of feeling like I’m back there.
At least that’s what I tell myself as I gather all those memories I’ve buried deep, that have somehow been kept at bay the last few nights when I’ve finally managed to sleep.
Maybe the pain won’t be so bad…
I inhale a long, shaky breath, and squeeze her gently, brushing my lips across her temple. “I knew something was wrong when the mountain went quiet…”
Almost as if in response, a massive bald eagle soars overhead, releasing a cry to signal to its partner in a nest somewhere high up above us that he’s returning.
It is one of those sounds that always exists in a place like this.
“You don’t spend the night on the homestead very much, so you’ve probably never noticed, but it’s never truly quiet, even on the stillest of nights.
There are always small animals rustling through the brush, owls and other night birds flying overhead and moving in the branches.
Occasionally, we can hear the howl of a coyote or the heavier weight of something like a bear or bobcat stalking their prey through the trees.
But that night, it was dead silent, as if the entire mountain sensed something was wrong. ”
In my entire life, I never heard it like that.
As quiet as the tomb it became…
Swallowing the bile climbing my throat, I force myself to continue. “I climbed out of bed, grabbed my shotgun and a pocketful of shells, and moved out onto the porch to listen to the darkness.”
A little shiver rolls through her despite the warmth of the water, as if she felt the same thing I did the moment I stepped outside that night.
“It only took me a few moments to hear the footsteps, and I knew it wasn’t any of us. Every hair on my body stood on end, goosebumps broke out over my skin, and I just knew they’d come for her.”
Raven threads her fingers through mine, offering me her comfort and support, something I never thought I would want from this woman or ever be offered. But somehow over the past week that we’ve been up here, things have shifted.
Things have changed.
I don’t know where the hell this is going. Maybe nowhere once we return to our old lives. But for right now, it’s what I need to be able to give her what she needs for the story.
My memories could help save us all, and they will complete her story.
“I stepped out and stayed to the treeline, watching the shadows and moonlight for any signs of someone or something that shouldn’t be on the homestead.
When I saw the first guy carrying the gun, dressed in commando gear, I knew I’d been right.
I knew they were after Lucky, and that put everyone in danger. ”
That initial feeling of dread I had in that moment creeps up on me again, and my muscles tense despite my attempt to remain unaffected.
Raven must sense it, because she starts trailing lazy circles with her fingers across the top of my hand in a soothing motion that somehow helps relax some of the tension.
“I had no idea if Killian or Liam had been woken, too. I had no idea if they’d sensed the danger.
But I knew as soon as they heard the gunshot, they would understand what they needed to do.
So as soon as I had a good view of him, I fired and took him down.
” I release a little mirthless laugh. “I’ve hunted my entire life.
Mom brought us onto the mountain when we were five or six and showed us how to properly handle guns because she knew they’d be around the house and didn’t want us to not know how dangerous they were, or how important and essential they were to people like us who survive off the land.
I had a healthy respect for the rifle in my hands, and every animal I ever shot with it… ”
A shiver runs through me remembering not only my actions that night, but the way Mom’s voice sounded in my head and helped keep me calm when I needed to be.
She saved us all as much as my gun did.
“What’s terrifying is that when I looked down at that man, I didn’t.
The blood gushing up from the wound…he was still alive and reaching for his weapon, and I made sure the second shot would kill him without even thinking about it.
It was way too easy to kill another human being as if he were just another wild animal becoming our dinner. ”
Raven squeezes my hand again and tips her head back, tilting my chin down so that I’m forced to look at her. “You were protecting everyone you love. It was instinct. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I wish I could believe you, but I did it so many times that night. I took out three other men before I ever made it into the barn. But then I heard Lucky and Liam inside, arguing with someone. I heard a physical confrontation. The panic in their voices was like a jolt pushing me into action again because I knew that someone was hurt.”