Chapter 18
CONNOR
Killian, Tony, and Barrett stare at me as if I’ve grown another head.
Sitting on old logs Killian dragged into the clearing to set up a fire pit area years ago, I give my body a few minutes to rest—at least physically.
Mentally is another story.
As I’ve been revealing everything that has happened over the last couple weeks—well, everything short of having my dick buried inside of Raven almost the whole time—I can see their unease and worry growing and more than a hint of anger from both Tony and Killian.
Given what they told me about what they’ve been doing since we left, I understand it fully.
And I feel like an even bigger asshole than I already did for leaving them in the dark.
Like I had anticipated, they weren’t immediately concerned about me, but they just figured I had gone back onto the mountain again without telling anyone since my truck was still parked in front of the cabin.
But once Willow realized Raven was missing—along with her computer—yet her car was still parked behind the bakery, all hell broke loose in McBride Mountain.
Tony immediately started a formal search for her, but they had very little to go on. Which has left everyone scrambling for weeks to find a woman they had no chance of ever locating because I didn’t want them to.
Killian and Liam have been scouring the mountain for any signs of her—and hoping to find me in the process—concentrating their searches beyond the gorge and on the entire far side of the mountain given how remote it is.
It kept Willow hidden for a year, and with her best friend missing, the fear that a copycat could have come for Raven left everyone on edge and sleepless.
The only reason they were even bothering to look for me today was because they needed my knowledge of the mountain to continue their search for her. Otherwise, they might have allowed me to stay voluntarily “lost” in the wilderness for far longer.
So the anger is real and warranted.
Especially since they both lived through what happened on the homestead and felt the aftermath, unlike Barrett, who’s coming in long after the bloodshed. But it’s clear Tony filled him in because he doesn’t ask stupid, basic questions and seems to grasp precisely why all of this is so dangerous…
And so important.
The longer they all stare at me without saying anything, the more uncomfortable I become waiting for their response.
Say something.
Anything.
I’d rather they were screaming at me, ranting and exploding at the fact that they’ve spent weeks thinking someone took Raven and that she might be in trouble than just sitting there like that.
She definitely is in trouble, just not the kind they thought. And I did my best to explain my reasoning and how we want to approach getting the information on the drive to the right people.
Finally, I offer a shrug because I can’t handle the uncomfortable silence anymore. “So, that’s the plan…”
Killian runs his hands back through his long, blond hair, already disheveled from their hike and search. “Jesus, Connor.”
He shakes his head, giving me a look he typically reserved for us when we were children and had stepped way out of line.
“I know. It isn’t ideal—”
“Not fucking ideal?” His voice carries out over the water and through the trees, startling a few birds that take flight.
“You’re talking about riling up the people who almost killed Liam, who would’ve killed Lucky, my wife, and my child, not to mention you and me, if they had had the chance that night. ”
I squeeze my eyes closed and draw in a deep breath, willing those memories to stay buried. If they overwhelm me now, I won’t be able to think clearly. Won’t be able to discuss this in a rational way with him, just like I’ve been unable to for months.
“You don’t need to remind me what they did, Killian.” I open my eyes and meet his hard, blue gaze. “I was there, remember? I was the one pulling that trigger over and over again to take out those bastards.”
Pushing to my feet, I step closer to him, pressing my hand into my chest.
“I was the one who had to use this”—I lift the axe, and though it might not be the exact one I killed with, he gets the point—“to prevent Brent Lorell from literally slicing Liam’s throat.
And then, I’m the one who had to drive him and a hysterical Lucky all the way to Asheville while he was bleeding out in the back of his fucking truck. ”
He climbs to his feet, too, as if to challenge me.
And I honestly don’t know who would win in a physical fight.
When we were kids, he was always bigger, always stronger, but the years have changed things.
I grew up, and between working on the lumber yard and on the homestead, my strength now at least matches, perhaps surpasses, even his.
The last thing I want is to come to blows with my big brother, but to sit there and talk to me as if I don’t comprehend the consequences of all this, as if I don’t understand what the Lorells will do, is pushing me to my breaking point.
“Do not stand there and lecture me about what’s at stake.”
Killian has always been the protector, the one watching out for me, for Liam, for everyone on McBride Mountain, but when it came down to it, I was the one who lost a huge part of myself when I had to protect everyone.
I’m the one who suffered the most from the blood spilled, the lives taken…
After months of the tension building between us, months of avoiding talking about this, avoiding this very confrontation, it seems that Raven’s actions have forced it in a way we can’t ignore anymore.
Killian continues to hold my unwavering gaze, and I can see his anger and frustration bubbling away beneath the eyes I know so well.
But there is something that overtakes them, something I’ve always seen there—undying love and affection.
“No one can understand what you saw or what you had to do, Connor. I know that. But not talking to us about it, not working through your feelings about the situation has only made all this worse. Can’t you see that? ”
“We’re not talking about me right now.” I slam my hand into my chest. “What happens to me is irrelevant. We’re talking about Raven, the story, and this fucking plan. Got it?”
He opens his mouth like he is going to argue, and there’s no doubt he wants to take this opportunity to push me since it’s the only time I’ve ever said a fucking word about that night to him, but Tony steps between us, urging me to back away from my brother.
His firm hand presses into my chest. “How about you two take a couple paces back and cool off while we talk through this rationally?”
Rationally.
There’s nothing rational when it comes to Raven or what she’s doing, what I’m helping her do.
There’s so much stupidity in this plan, so much belief in things that we aren’t one hundred percent sure are true, faith in people we barely know.
And everything has to work perfectly if we want to get out of this unscathed.
Tony looks to his brother. “With Barrett and Tripp back in town, I’ll have extra eyes and ears who can help me keep a watch on things—strangers, or anyone asking things they shouldn’t.”
Barrett crosses his arms over his huge chest, and honestly, the fact that the Briggs brothers all served in the military, all in elite units, does give me a modicum of comfort.
They will be in McBride Mountain.
They will be there to help protect everyone while this all unravels.
Killian paces away from me, tugging on his hair again and rubbing at the back of his neck. “I can’t have Willow and the baby on the homestead when this breaks. I need to get them somewhere far away. Somewhere safe that can’t be tied to us.”
I nod my agreement. “Liam should send Lucky, too.”
Killian’s gaze cuts to me. “You really think she’ll go?”
Considering the blue-haired woman who my baby brother fell so head-over-heels in love with wasn’t afraid to pull a gun on me, I shake my head. “Not easily. Not when she believes all of this is her fault. But we have to make her go.”
Tony and Barrett nod their agreement.
Barrett’s lips twist. “Why don’t we send them to Uncle Bubba’s?”
The sheriff’s eyes widen slightly as he glances at his brother. “That’s not a bad idea.”
I picture the old man who was old even when I was a small child and he used to visit the mountain to see his brother and nephews. “He’s still alive?”
The Briggs brothers exchange a grin.
Barrett nods. “Still kicking at ninety-two. And his place is so fucking remote, no one would ever look there. Nor is there any connection between him and Lucky or Willow, other than his great-nephews living in the same town, which is so tentative…”
Killian nods. “I like this idea. We get them all out tonight. Before any of this information goes to Agent Michaelson or the editor.”
It’s better than putting them up at some hotel somewhere, no matter how far away we could get them.
I look to Tony. “How long will it take to get to your uncle’s property?”
From what I remember, Bubba lives in the Louisiana bayou, certainly not somewhere we can drop them easily.
He shrugs. “Ten or eleven hours, maybe? But it isn’t the easiest terrain, and I wouldn’t recommend having the girls drive it themselves. Or anyone else who’s never been there.”
Barrett nods his agreement. “I’ll take them. I’ll see if I can get Tripp to come with me, too.”
Tony gives his youngest brother a pointed look, but Barrett just shakes his head as if to tell him not to bring up whatever he’s clearly trying to reference.
Whatever is going on between them is irrelevant at this point, though. As long as the girls and Niall will be safe, that takes a huge part of the concern off our minds.
Killian releases a long, relieved breath. “Okay, that solves one problem.”
Tony raises a brow. “What’s the other?”
“Raven…”
As much as I normally would agree that woman is always a problem, this is the one time I know she’s tucked away safely, where she can’t get herself into any shit.
I hold up a hand to Killian. “Raven’s fine. No one will find her where I have her stashed.”