Chapter 13
Sage
“Mom! Why not?” Charlie’s voice echoes across the family room, where Charlotte is rocking Kitt in her arms. She hushes him, warning Charlie to keep it down because it’s past Kitty’s nap time.
I pull my hair into a topknot, prepared to distract Charlie and see if there’s something I can do to keep him busy when I spot Caleb walking through the foyer and into the living room.
“What is it, Charlie?” he asks when he reaches us.
“Can I ride with Anthony to the waterfall? I promise we’ll be careful and not go into the water.”
Charlotte cradles Kitt in her arms, but the baby’s chubby cheeks and sparkly brown eyes peek through the crook of Charlotte’s arm.
“Why do you need to go to the waterfall if you know you’re not allowed to go in? Just ride your bikes to town,” says Charlotte.
Charlie’s shaking his head. “Because we’re… we’re… ugh… why are you making a big deal about this?”
Caleb smiles and pulls Charlie off to the side. They chat quietly. Charlie runs his hand through his hair and then looks up at Caleb sheepishly. Finally, he throws his arms around Caleb and runs out the door.
“Where are you going, young man?” Charlotte calls out.
Caleb slides his hands next to Charlotte’s and pulls Kit into his arms. “He’ll be safe.
I told him which routes to take, but I’ll check on him right after I put this little one to bed.
” He kisses his wife on the lips, slowly.
I turn away as the moment seems too intimate to watch.
“Go enjoy your breakfast with Sage. I’ve got this. ”
I turn back but regret it as soon as I catch the heat in Caleb’s eyes. I swear a fire like that would burn me, if I were just lucky enough to catch it.
“Thank you,” Charlotte whispers and rises on her tiptoes to kiss him again.
I move to the kitchen before my cheeks burn any further and expose my deepest wish.
I pour a cup of coffee for myself and Charlotte.
I slept over last night when dinner ran late into the night.
Caleb offered to drive me home when I could barely keep my eyes open, but Charlotte insisted I sleep over.
When they first married, I stayed over quite a bit.
But I soon realized if I was going to truly move on, I had to push myself to live on my own.
The silence is still difficult, but I’ve gotten better at dealing with it.
“How did you sleep last night?” Charlotte asks when she sits next to me at the granite kitchen table.
I sip my coffee and stare outside. The leaves on the trees are so dense I can’t see the sky behind them.
But the blue is vibrant over top, and the sun is shining onto the water below. “Good. Thank you.”
I sip my coffee, but Charlotte doesn’t drink hers. “What’s wrong, Sage?”
“Wrong? Why would something be wrong?” My voice carries a little higher than I would have liked.
She finally sips her coffee. “Did Casey text you when he got to Los Angeles?”
“Nope.”
She nods as though she has just figured it out.
I roll my eyes. “There’s nothing wrong, Charlotte. Casey was quite clear when he left, and I’m not expecting a text from him. It was great while it lasted but now that’s over. It’s fine. I’m fine. Really. Stop staring at me like that. It’s unnecessary.”
To her credit, Charlotte immediately pivots. “So, what do you have going on today?”
“Well, I’ve got yoga class this morning, and then I have a paper I need to work on, and who knows, maybe I’ll call up Frankie and we’ll take off on a road trip or something.”
“A road trip? You haven’t done one of those in a while.”
“Exactly. It’s time that I plan one. Or don’t plan one. Just start the car and drive toward the sunset.”
Charlotte smiles. “I kind of like that idea. It sounds like the old Sage to me.”
I smile. “It does, doesn’t it? I miss her.”
“I’m just happy to see you smile.”
I cast my pearly whites to her and wink. “Don’t you worry about me, Charlotte Consuelos. I’m going to be just fine.”
She squeezes my hand, and I realize that I mean it. I’ve never let a man bring me down, and I’m damn sure not going to start now.
An hour later, the sun is shining and the breeze is warm outside, so I ask Charlotte to borrow her bike to ride into town for my yoga class.
“I don’t remember the last time I used it,” she says.
I wave off her concern. “I’ll be fine.”
Pushing the bike out of the garage, I immediately set off toward the end of the road.
It isn’t very long when I recall those famous last words.
The rear tire is deflated and I won’t make it up this hill, so I reluctantly get off and push the bike.
The pedals scrape my leg a couple of times and it hurts like a fire poker.
“I really should have checked the tires before I took the bike,” I mumble to myself.
Sweat gathers around my temple and beneath my brow. I thank God I put on deodorant this morning. I don’t sweat often, but this is one of those times.
The sound of cars and horns as I approach the town’s center drown out the rattle of the flat tire behind me.
When I finally reach the community center, I wipe the sweat from my forehead and exhale loudly.
Relief is short-lived as I look behind me and realize I must do this all over again on my way home. Ugh. That’s a problem for later.
The cool ventilated air on my face as I walk into the building feels like a splash of cold water. Inside the yoga room, the scent of the white tea diffusers lingers.
Checking my wristwatch, I realize I have only ten minutes before everyone starts to file in. I take this time to clear my thoughts, steady my breath, and still my body. I sit in Sukhasana until footsteps alert me that someone is here.
Slowly, I open my eyes and smile when I see Mrs. Green in bright pink leggings and a hot pink sweater. “Good morning, Mrs. Green. How are you feeling today?”
“Honey, these hot flashes are something. I swear if I were a chicken, my eggs would be hard-boiled.”
I snort loudly and cover my face. “Mrs. Green. I swear, sometimes I forget you weren’t raised in Cedar Brook Falls, but then you say something like that, and I can hear your southern roots.”
She pats her head. “I hope not, darling. I pay good money for Cheyanne to cover them up each month.”
We both burst out laughing and her guttural chuckle only makes me laugh harder. By the time the rest of the participants enter, I’m wiping tears from my eyes.
“What’s so funny?” asks Mrs. Gibbons as she sets her mat next to Mrs. Green.
“Nothing, honey,” says Mrs. Green. “I was just sharing some tips about going through the change.”
“Oh, don’t you start with that again. You nearly scared Trish to death with those bearded tales.”
“She’s not scared enough. She hasn’t taken my advice to laser them yet.”
“Gladys!” snaps Mrs. Gibbons, but Mrs. Green just shrugs and reaches for her ankles in preparation of Sukhasana.
I think it’s a good time to get us back on track.
“Good morning, and thank you all for coming,” I say.
One more lady is still setting up her mat, but I continue.
“Today, we’re going to focus on relaxing our muscles and our minds.
I know there’s a lot going on in our lives, but for one hour, I want you to only think about your body.
I want you to focus on your breath, your heartbeat, and the way the movements make you feel.
I want you to envision the way the air moves through your lungs and out through your nostrils.
Take a deep breath, filling your lungs and then let it all out.
All your frustration. Your disappointment.
Your worries. Then, when you’re ready, let’s move into table pose. ”
We stay here for a few breaths as I ease the class into some simple breathing exercises and back stretches.
Despite the concrete walls and the faux carpets, I imagine being on a beach somewhere or in the middle of a forest. It’s tranquil here.
There are no rushing cars, or deadlines, or even phone messages. The world is calm, still, and serene.
“Oh, no!”
My eyes pop open and I find Mrs. Green clutching the left cheek of her buttocks, writhing on her mat. I rush over and place my hands over hers.
“Mrs. Green, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Her face is scrunched up, her eyes squeezed shut. “It’s my back. My sciatica just popped.”
Her sciatica popped? I don’t think that’s even possible. But I don’t say that. Instead, I ask, “Where is the pain?”
“From my butt cheek down the back of my thigh. Oh God, that hurts.”
She’s biting her bottom lip so hard, I’m sure it’ll bleed.
I consider the options. I don’t think she’s injured herself since we hadn’t done anything too difficult or strenuous that she could have twisted or sprained something.
It must be a muscle cramp. I spring up and rush over to the cupboard where I keep some essentials, including an electric heating pad and extension cord.
When I used to teach prenatal yoga, I would treat the moms-to-be with a warm back massage.
After plugging in the heating pad, and cranking the heat to max, I place it on Mrs. Green's lower back. If it is sciatica, it’s most likely coming from there. “Is it all right if I use my hands to massage the back of your thighs?”
Mrs. Green stops scrunching her face for a moment, to raise her eyebrow at me. “You don’t have to ask, darling. If you think it’ll help, I’d let you slap me right now.”
I chuckle. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.
” Pleased that the heating pad seems to be doing its job and loosening Mrs. Green's muscles, I get to work on her quadricep. There’s a huge ball beneath her fascia and I knead my hands to loosen it.
“Can you lay on your side, Mrs. Green? I’d like to try something. ”
I help move her onto her right side and curl her leg. Then I lift it up, slowly bringing it forward, and stretching her glute muscle. Her face scrunches up again. “Does this hurt? Should I stop?”
“Yes… and well, no. It’s a good pain, if you know what I mean.”
“Yes. I do. Ok, let’s take a quick break before we do that again.”
Mrs. Green nods.
“Everyone, I think that’s it for today. I’m going to have to cut the class short. I promise to make it up to you all. Now if you can all kindly see your way out, we’re going to give Mrs. Green some privacy here.”
There’s some grumbling, but everyone complies.
“Oh, Mrs. Gibbons. Can you hold back for a bit? I didn’t bring my car, and Mrs. Green may need a ride back.”
“Sure, thing. I’ll just wait out front.”
“Thank you.”
When we’re alone, I lift Mrs. Green’s leg a little higher and repeat the stretch.
“You didn’t have to kick everyone out on my account. After you have kids and your legs wide open for several doctors and nurses, you lose the ability to feel embarrassed. At least I did.”
“Noted.” I smile. “But I think it’s best if you take your time with this. How long have you had this pain?”
“Oh, it’s been a few months at least. But it’s never gotten this bad.”
“Did you have any water today?”
She shakes her head.
“How about a banana?”
“Can’t say I care for that fruit.”
“Well, you should start caring. Water is important for muscles and so are bananas.”
I set her leg down and move my hands over her left leg. I can’t feel the knot anymore, and the spasms I felt earlier are gone.
“How does that feel?”
Mrs. Green opens her eyes and looks around. She tentatively shakes her leg.
“I feel a tiny tinge of pain, but nothing like before.”
“Good.”
I stand up to grab my note pad and pen from my bag. I always carry it with me. “I’m going to write out a stretch routine I’d like you to follow along with some nutrition tips. It’s important you follow them, Mrs. Green.”
“I know, I know.”
She slowly sits up and inhales deeply. I feel her gaze on me and I look up. “It’s a real shame, you know.”
“What is?”
“That he had to leave so soon.”
I don’t pretend I misunderstand her meaning. “He’s a baseball player. Not the right guy for me.”
She huffs. “Ball player or not, he shouldn’t have let you go.”
I don’t ask her how she knows about us. I’m certain she was the first person Mrs. Gibbons called.
“Well, it’s a good thing I’ve sworn off men for a while.”
“That’s too bad because I’ve got a nephew in Georgia that would think you’re a real peach.”
I laugh. “No thank you, Mrs. Green. I’m not planning on dating anytime soon.”
“Oh no, honey, you should never let the wrong man get in the way of finding the right one.”
I look up from my notepad and catch Mrs. Green winking at me.
“How do I know which one is the right one?”
“Oh, you’ll know, darling, because he won’t let you go.”