Chapter 20
Sage
I wasn’t prepared to see Casey with his shirt off and his hair dripping wet. I also wasn’t prepared for how different he looked. I couldn’t move, couldn’t think, could barely speak. So, when he left to get changed, I finally breathed out a sigh of relief.
Although I noticed his muscle loss and mentioned it to him, I didn’t say anything about the dark circles under his eyes or the gauntness of his cheeks.
It’s only been a few weeks, but Casey looks like he hasn’t eaten or slept in months. I unpack the food I brought and put the perishable items in the fridge. It is mostly empty with a jug of orange juice, a carton of eggs, and some yogurt inside.
Shortly after he returns, I realize he’s trying to get rid of me, but now that he’s opened the door and let me in, I won’t leave him.
I cock my hip onto the table and ask in the most platonic voice, “So, are you going to show a girl L.A. or what?”
He stares at me and I can see the struggle in his eyes. After a few seconds he drops his shoulders in surrender. “Let me grab some shoes.”
Genuinely excited, I clasp my hands together. “Ooh, I want to see the Hollywood Walk of Fame first. Do you know where that is?”
His mouth nearly hangs open from disgust. “Are you serious? Of course, I know where it is. Everyone in L.A. does and even most of the tourists.”
“Well then, it’s time I find out.”
We take the elevator down to the parking garage, and Casey walks up to this sleek black sports car. I’m not good with car make and models, but I can tell by the fact that the doors open above the roof that this vehicle costs more than Jane and I make in a year combined. Maybe even Charlotte.
Inside, the car is equally impressive. The black interior smells like a fine vintage leather jacket, and the stitching is better than anything my mother could have sewn.
I inhale deeply and smile.
“It still has that new car smell,” says Casey.
“Mmm… It reminds me of the Volkswagen bus my parents used to drive.”
Casey frowns and his eyebrows draw together. “Really?”
I laugh. “It doesn’t look anything like it, but the smell… I don’t know… it just brings me back.”
He pulls out of the parking space slowly, and when he finds the road empty, he presses on the gas, and we peel out into the West Coast sunshine.
Driving with the windows down, and the wind in my hair, I can’t help but smile. I catch Casey staring at me. “What?”
“I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Why not?”
He shrugs. “Well, I ended things quickly. I wasn’t sure if you were upset about it.”
Of course, I was, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. “We didn’t end things badly, really.” Then I look out the window and add, “And I was worried about you.”
He stares back at the road and nods. “I know. But everything is fine.”
I nod but I don’t agree with him.
I tell myself to let it go and just enjoy being here with him, but I can’t stop myself from being honest. “Why haven’t you gone to physiotherapy?”
He doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “What are you talking about?”
“Jane said that you haven’t been back. Why not?”
His face tightens and his voice is low. “What’s the point? The doctors said I won’t ever play again.”
“Did they say those exact words?”
“Yes.”
“Why not get a second opinion? Another doctor could see things differently. One of my patients—"
“I don’t want to see any more doctors,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “I just want to forget about it and move on.”
His grip tightens on the steering wheel.
“I’m sorry,” he says and I nod.
I should let this go, I know I should, but I’ve seen and read of many patients who received a second opinion and benefited from it. Casey’s first doctor may be right, but what if he’s not?
“Do you mind if I take a look at your records?”
He sighs. “The Jets have the best trainers in the league. No offense, but I don’t think there’s anything you’ll find in them that will be different.”
I’m not offended by his remark, but I’m also not put off. “Still, I’d like to take a look.”
He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”
Casey turns right at the lights and after a few minutes, pulls the car over. “We’re here.”
I turn my head left and then right. “We are?”
He snickers. “Yup. Not as glamorous as you thought, huh?”
I get out of the car and look around. There are people on the sidewalk, coming in and out of the storefronts.
The shops are tourist dives, selling T-shirts, magnets, and other knickknacks.
There’s a minivan parked next to us that’s part of a tour, and a man handing out flyers to a show at some bar up the road.
“Where is the Walk of Fame?” I ask.
Casey points down to the ground.
I’m standing on a pink and gold star, the name on it reads Betty White. “Oh,” I say and immediately hop off, as though standing on it is likely to hurt Betty somehow.
Other stars line the sidewalk, and I realize that no one is paying any attention to them. I’m a little disappointed that the area is not stationed off like I’ve seen on television when the star is unveiled. I don’t know why I thought it would look like that all the time.
Casey laughs and puts his arm over my shoulder. “Don’t look so sad.”
“Is the Hollywood sign any better?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know if you’ll be impressed with it, either.”
He turns me by the shoulders and looks into my eyes. “I think I know a place you’ll like. Come on.”
We get back into his car and he drives off. The roads are still busy, but I can see the ocean in the background and then I catch a glimpse of the Ferris Wheel. “Are we at the Santa Monica Pier?”
He smiles. “You recognize it?”
“Yes, it’s just like the pictures.”
He parks the car and we walk down the wooden pathway. There are vendors and tons of people milling about. It’s busier than I had imagined, but I still enjoy walking and seeing all the stands. Casey holds my hand as we look through the merchandise.
A particular yellow knit bag catches my eye, and Casey notices. “Let me get this for you.”
“Oh, I don’t need another bag.”
“Of course not. But I want to get it for you.”
He pays the lady double the asking price and I smile. Casey has always been very generous with the people he cares about, maybe not with his time, but definitely with his money. I wonder if that would be enough for someone like me. I’m not so much into gifts as I am into acts of service.
I shake my head. It’s silly of me to even worry about such a thing. We’re not a couple.
As I look across the pier over to the soft sand below, I recall one of my favorite movies. “Hey, isn’t this where Apollo and Rocky race?”
“I’m not sure,” says Casey.
I smile and tug his hand. “Come with me.”
Casey’s smile deepens and the red in his eyes is much lighter now.
I throw off my shoes and squish my toes into the sand. Closing my eyes, I sigh at the exquisite feeling.
Casey caresses my cheek and I open my eyes. He isn’t smiling anymore. “You’re so beautiful when you’re happy. It’s as though I can feel it in my own heart.”
His head leans down and I know he’s going to kiss me, so I literally run away.
“I’ll race you,” I say and pump my arms as fast as I can. I’m panting and sweating when I turn back and see Casey jogging behind me. “Come on!” I yell back.
He shakes his head and then he sprints toward me. My eyes widen at the speed in which he shortens the distance between us.
I run faster but it’s no use. In less than a minute, Casey sweeps me off my feet, pulling me to his chest, and I’m squirming in his arms. “That’s not fair,” I protest with a fist to his chest.
He laughs. “Why not?”
“I slipped in the sand.”
“You did not slip.”
I grin. “I know.”
He’s staring at my face, my mouth, and I feel the energy rise between us. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull myself up and then slowly slide down his body. He pulls me closer when my toes touch the sand, his hand behind my neck, and I can no longer resist.
I kiss him.
His lips on mine are soft, warm, and sweet. He nips my bottom lip with his teeth and then soothes it with a swipe of his tongue. “Casey,” I moan, and he kisses me harder. My tongue explores his mouth, tangling with his, and he groans and breaks free.
We’re both panting and I can barely catch my breath. His eyes are brilliant now, shining with light from the sun’s rays. “I’m so glad you came to L.A.,” he says, stroking my hair. “I’ve really missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
“Come on, let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”
We’re on our walk back to his car when I spot a taco truck down the street. “Oh, I’d love a burrito.”
He nods. “Me, too.”
Picnic tables are set up in front of the truck, and I sit and wait at one while Casey grabs us lunch.
He comes back a few minutes later with two trays; every inch of them is covered with food. “What’s all this?”
He takes one of the wrapped items and places it in front of me. “Spicy shrimp burrito for you.”
“Thank you.” I look over at his tray; there are at least three wrappers. “What did you get?”
“Uh… two tacos, a burrito and you have to try these empanadas. They’re so good.”
His boyish grin pleases me more than it should. He bites into his burrito with such gusto that I laugh and take a bite of my own. The spicy flavor hits my tongue like a fireball and I groan. “This is so good.”
“Right?” He smiles. “Here, try this.”
He opens the empanada wrapper and brings one to my mouth. I swallow what’s in my mouth and take a bite. My teeth sink into the empanada but I’m staring into his eyes the whole time. He swallows and stares at my mouth.
“Is it good?” he asks softly.
I nod and swipe my top lip. “Delicious.”
He smiles and shakes his head as he pops a whole empanada into his mouth. He grins through it and I laugh at his discomfort, smug that perhaps I was responsible for that.
We spend the rest of the afternoon walking along the beach and talking about Cedar Brook Falls and what Anthony, Cassandra and Charlie are up to. We don’t talk about baseball or even how he’s feeling. Anytime I try to bring it up, he changes the subject.
When it starts to get dark, Casey drives me back to his place.
When he puts on some soft music I get the feeling I know how he wants this night to end.
But I know I can’t get intimate with him again.
It hurt so much when he left last time, I was just starting to feel better.
I don’t know if I could get over it again.
“I should go,” I say, and he stops mid-pour of his glass of wine.
“So soon?”
“Yes. I, uh, I’ve got a call with my professor in the morning, and I don’t want to be too tired for it.”
“Oh, okay. Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Definitely. Maybe we can hit the gym together?”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“Okay,” I say and grab my purse. “Oh, before I leave, can I get those medical reports we talked about?”
Casey frowns. “I don’t know where they are, my desk, maybe.”
“I’ll wait while you check.”
He blinks and then turns around, walking down the hallway. A few minutes later he returns with a file folder. “Knock yourself out.”
I smile. “Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
I turn to leave, but he grabs my hand and I turn around. His gaze roams across my face, and his eyes assess every detail. I think he’s about to lean down and kiss me, but he changes his mind. Instead, he licks his lips and says, “See you tomorrow.”