39. Bambi
BAMBI
Staring at all the clothes liberally stuffed into my small closet is literally making me sick to my stomach.
There’s just enough space for me to walk in, turn in a circle, and walk back out.
Truth be told, things may start creeping out the door into the rest of the living space.
How the heck did I let Heather talk me into making so many outfits?
Shoes, jeans, dresses, blouses, t-shirts, and everything imaginable are sitting there, mocking me with their overwhelming presence. I’m not sure how long it took us to travel from Deapra to Rembz, but it wasn’t that dadgum long.
I can feel a headache coming on. “I need a suitcase… or four.”
Heather went wild with that CIP thing. There’s no telling how much crap she’s got shoved in her closet.
Bikar can definitely make me something in the room the CIP is in. When I press my hand to the door control, I find Bikar on the other side with his hand raised to ring my door tone.
“Hey, Bikar. I was actually just on my way to come find you.”
He shoots me a pleased grin. “It came to my attention that you and your Heather have… accumulated some items on our journey and need a way to transport them off the Scythe.”
“Uhm, yeah. ‘Some items’ is putting it lightly.”
Chuckling at my aggrieved tone, he extends two large black rectangles. “Your Heather commed me earlier and explained the problem, so I created several of these for both of you. They will hold more than their appearance suggests.”
Clapping my hands together, I snatch the suitcases from him and dart back inside my room. I’m so ready to get off this ship and be back on the ground; it’s not even funny. My enthusiasm must be overtly apparent because Bikar’s laughter follows me into my room… but he doesn’t.
“Why are you standing in the door like that?”
Eyes twinkling mischievously, he replies. “You have never given me permission to enter your private residence.”
Stopping in front of my closet, his words resonate, and I realize he’s respected a boundary I didn’t know I’d set. “Oh. I guess I haven’t. Have I?”
Sobering, Bikar clears his throat nervously. “I want to broach something with you, but first need you to know that it is okay to say no.”
I don’t like the way this is starting.
“Alright…”
His chest expands with a deep breath. “May I come in, so we can discuss this privately?”
Heat hits my face when I realize he’s still standing in the doorway, still waiting patiently for me to invite him in.
“Oh, yes! Yes, of course. Sorry about that. Please, come in.”
He steps through the door and closes it behind him, and then sits down on my couch. Bikar’s face is fierce and contemplative as he watches me.
Tossing the suitcases inside my closet and slamming the door quickly so nothing falls out makes Bikar roar with laughter. Spinning around so fast I trip a little, I roll my eyes, which just makes him laugh that much harder.
“So glad I can provide you with free entertainment, Bikar.”
I walk over to him as I talk, and he snags my wrist in one large hand before easing me onto his lap.
“My Starshine. Neither of us will ever be bored as long as we have one another. That is a certainty.”
“Ugh… you’re not wrong.”
“Of course I am not. The evidence clearly speaks for itself.”
“So,” I reply, ignoring the comment I refuse to acknowledge. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
“As you well know, our bond is not complete.”
“I know it’s not. I’m… not ready. I know you told me you loved me, but I’m just not there yet.” Wincing at how flaky I sound, his response is as swift as it is reassuring.
“That is not why I am here. It is not my intent to pressure you to seal our bond before you are ready… if you are ever ready.”
“Okayyy.”
Inhaling sharply, he spits the rest of it out. “Would you be willing to share the same domicile with me?”
He must feel my body tense up a little because he hurries to finish explaining.
“I am not asking you to share a bed or rut with me. Merely if you will share the same living space. You are always welcome in my bed, but I thought this might be a good way for us to grow closer while giving you the security you need to feel safe. It will also help me keep my territorial instinct at bay if we scent of dual habitation.”
What he’s asking for isn’t a big deal, but at the same time, it is.
The last man I lived with was my dad… and that was more like a hostage situation than anything else.
But I can’t stay with Heather because she’s got her own issues to work through, and living by myself also won’t work because of how paranoid I am about getting kidnapped again.
Until now, this hasn’t been an issue. Gwen, Heather, and I shared Falon’s room together on the Zenith, then we lived in a communal dwelling on Deapra in the rocks. The Scythe gave me my own bedroom, but it was still a controlled environment I felt safe in because of…
Bikar.
Leaning in, I brush my mouth against his, initiating an affectionate kiss before putting him out of his misery. Bless his heart. He’s so sure I’m going to say no. “Wanna help me pack? I’ve got a lot of crap to shove into suitcases before we move into our new home.”
His mouth drops open in shock, making me giggle. Extending a finger, I close his mouth before slipping off his lap, grabbing his hand and pulling him along behind me, back to the closet of doom. “I’m going to hit the button for the door. You catch anything that tries to fall out… okay?”
“As you wish, little doe.”
Sneaky male. He’s figured me out, and knows saying “I love you” like Wesley does to Buttercup is something I find romantic as all get out.